SPORTSAHOLIC

The Dollar's Fall is the Jays Gain

2007-09-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

It’s hardly news to anyone who follows the market that the U.S. Dollar is having a bad year and a horrible September. In fact, the only entity I can think of that has had a worse month than the greenback is the team that wears green in South Bend. Unfortunately for U.S. travelers and fans of the Fighting Irish, neither entity is likely to have much success in the foreseeable future.

So you might be thinking – why is the Holic writing about foreign currency? Well, here is the answer. It struck me this morning that the dollar’s collapse could have an impact on the American League East for years to come. The reason being – the Canadian dollar this week reached parity with the American Dollar. In other words, one Canadian Dollar is now equal to one American Dollar. The practical effect is Canadians now have as much purchasing power in the States as they do in Canada. This comes after years (and decades) of having a dollar of their currency fetch sixty or seventy cents in the states.

So how does this impact the AL East? Well, if the trend holds and/or extends, it should give the Toronto Blue Jays a significant financial boost that they can now use to raise payroll. For years, the Jays have been at a big disadvantage to U.S. clubs since they collect revenue in Canadian Dollars but have to pay players in U.S. dollars. This is a problem when the exchange rate is so distorted. But now that we have parity, the Jays are no longer forced to pay what amounts to a foreign exchange tax. So, in essence, the Jays will now be able to get a dollar’s work for a dollar’s pay, not a dollar’s work for a dollar and twenty cents in pay.

The impact could be significant as the Jays have put together a solid foundation that could use another twenty million in spending authority to compete with the division’s heavyweights. At the very least, this development should help the Jays better absorb that horrible contract they gave Vernon Wells and ensure that it is not a fiscal carnivore when it begins to mature in 2010. In the meantime, perhaps the Jays could use some of this financial largess to get a short-term closer and lock in some young talent like Alex Rios (even though he is still three years away from free agency).

I am not going to sit here and tell you that I know where the Canadian Dollar will be three years from now but based on where it sits today, the playing field in the American League has become a little bit more level. And if this fed continues down a path towards lower rates, who is to say the dollar won’t fall further and the playing field will soon tilt towards Toronto.

Gagne the Gagger Strikes Again

2007-09-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

The question – in the modern history of major league baseball, has any team made a more damaging move at the trade deadline than the Boston Red Sox and their acquisition of Eric Gagne? May I remind you that Gagne has set the bar pretty high as last night was the fourth time he has blown a game since August 1st. In essence, Gagne is the gift that keeps on taking, as he has failed in every tight spot that he was summoned. Is that even possible? Doesn’t the law of pitching averages demand that a pitcher succeed at least once in a while? I guess the answer to that question is no as Gagne has clearly proven that no amount of success is guaranteed. As such, Gagne has single-handedly injected some excitement into the American League East division. Had he been able to close just two of the transgressions at hand, the Sox would remain comfortably ahead – 4.5 games up with ten to play. Listen, I liked the trade at the time it was conceived so I am not going to sit here and argue that it shouldn’t have been made. But I think it’s fair to pronounce it as a catastrophic failure and recognize that there is no reason to compound the damage any further. Unfortunately, I am not sure the front office and Terry Francona share my sentiment. What gives me this sense? Well, after last night’s game, Francona was quoted as saying that he stuck with Gagne because he had to find out whether he could entrust Gagne with meaningful post-season innings. Well, the answer to that question has now been definitely settled but, for some reason, Francona couldn’t bring himself to offer a public eulogy last night or today. Hopefully, his silence was only intended to spare Gagne from further embarrassment. And hopefully, the manager has finally reached a conclusion that was apparent long ago. Let’s hope so because this club can no longer afford to let Gagne gag up another late-inning lead. This just in - Terry Francona says Gagne is still his 8th inning man. God Dammit!!!!!

The Sleeping Bear Has Awakened and . . .He's Pissed!

2007-09-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

The Patriots were all piss and vinegar last night. Simply put, they played angry and hell hath no fury like a Patriot scorned. Already one of the league’s most physical, the Pats flexed some muscle and exhibited some speed that San Diego couldn’t match. The pass protection was largely bullet-proof and the pass rush was fierce. Tom Brady was nearly perfect, the running game was effective, and the new additions - Wes Welker, Randy Moss and Adalius Thomas - confirmed that last year’s slight talent deficit with San Diego had been reversed and extended. And if it weren’t enough that the Pats now have the deepest and most talented roster in the NFL, they are now playing with a giant chip on their shoulder. It’s almost as if Eric Mangina, the media and the NFL have awakened a sleeping bear with all this fuss over the Pats taping procedures. Rather than let this bear sleep its way to a 12-4 season, its enemies thought it would be a good idea to start poking it with a stick. Well guys, the bear is now pissed. And the bear is now hungry. And what do you get when you anger the biggest and most talented bear in the forest – well, you just might get a historical season. I realize it’s too early to go crazy, but this team looks like it might be special.

Did anyone watching the Sox game last night think Curt Schilling was going to get that out in the eighth? Anyone? Anyone? Buehler? If I can see it coming from 240 miles away, how come Tito can’t see it from 240 feet?

Can anyone out there tell me whether Jason Varitek leads the universe in stranding runners on base or whether he just leads the American League? The captain’s futility has almost become comical over the past two weeks. On Saturday, the Captain left six or seven guys on base over his first three at bats. Last night, more of the same, although to be fair, he was robbed of a hit in the first. This month, Varitek is hitting .163 with one extra base hit. Less you think this is a near-term phenomena, on the year, he is just 11 for 71 with runners in scoring position and two outs. Clearly, JV is dying out there so how in the world is he still hitting sixth? Its almost like rallies are seeking him out and when they find him, they roll over and die. Given his struggles, I don’t see how Francona can’t drop him down to the eight spot.

I realize the Sox lead by 4.5 games, but folks, don’t get complacent as far as that division goes. The Sox have three this week in Toronto, where it will be Wakefield, Lester and either Tavarez or Buchholz. That isn’t too encouraging given the fact that Wakefield has been knuckling since he tweaked his back, Lester struggled last Wednesday and Buchholz hasn’t thrown to live batters in ten days. Luckily, the Sox miss Halladay and Marcum but AJ Burnett and Jessie Litsch are no bargains. And if that isn’t bad enough, the Sox then head to Tampa where they draw Kazmir on Friday for what seems like the 11th time this year. Meanwhile, the Yanks have six left with the Orioles. I can easily see this lead be two games a week from today.

The Pats next two opponents are Buffalo and Cincinnati – the first got lit up yesterday by the Steelers and the latter surrendered fifty-one to Cleveland. The bet here is New England will put up 70 over the next two weeks, putting them on pace for close to 600 points by year end. That is a bit scary. And game five? Try Cleveland, a team that gave up five TD tosses to Carson Palmer yesterday.

44-6? See Ya Karla!

2007-09-16T13:15:00.000-07:00

44-6? Good God! The friggin Utes stuck it up UCLA's ass yesterday out in Salt Lake and the Holic is now ready to decare that the Karla Dorrell experiment has failed. I've been leaning in this direction for years, but I was persuaded to give Dorrell another shot after he found a way to upset USC last year. So how did Karla follow-up that effort? Well, he orchestrated an embarrassment against Florida State in the "who cares" bowl last December and then this off-season, one of his asistants got arrested for breaking and entering. If that wasn't bad enough, the team opened this year by giving up a third of a mile in offense against Stanford. Then last week, the Bruins narrowly escaped at home against the guys from Big Love, otherwise known as BYU. So how did they chase that ugly shot of tequilla? Well, they went out to SLC and got absolutely smoked by a bad Utah team. This is not acceptable. Listen, I know UCLA isn't a football power but this was a strong program throughout the eighties and it has shown glimmers since I graduated in 1991, most notably with JJ Stokes in 1994 and very good squads in 97 and 98. Under no circumstances is it acceptable to lose to Utah and certainly not by 38 points. So, where does this loss rank in UCLA futility lore? Well, I might not put this up as the worst UCLA loss in memory, but its up there with the debacle against Arizona two years ago (Bruins were 9-0 at the time) and that loss to Miami back in 1998 when Edgerrin James mauled the Bruins while they were opening up the national championship game invite.

So the question now is what is the fate of Karla Dorrell? Well, this alum is ready to pull the trigger. Listen, I know the current quarterback - Ben Olson - is terrible, but whose fault is that? After all, Karla brought this kid in after he had been away on a two-year mission. Thankfully, a better option - Pat Cowan - is almost ready to come back from a leg injury, but I am not sure it will make much difference. Why so? Well, the defense, which was supposed to be amongst the best ever fielded at UCLA, has been a big disappointment and the team has shown no ability to run the ball. Oddly enough, that recipe is the same used to make a shit sandwhich. I think the morale to this story is Dorrell has simply not been able to rid UCLA of the hangover left behind by Bob Toledo. For those of you who might need a refresher, here is Karla's resume

1-3 against Southern California, the one being a miracle of sorts
No Pac-10 championships
No BCS bowl games1-10 on the road against teams with a winning record
Worse winning percentage than Bob Toledo, who was fired
3-11 against ranked teamsOnly 6 conference wins against teams over .500
19-14 in the Pac-108-17 against teams with a winning record
11 losses to unranked teams.
A meltdown in the 60th minute at South Bend
Embarrassing losses to Wyoming, Fresno State, Arizona, and now Utah
Former players, such as Ricky Manning and Mo Drew, have hardly been model citizens.

So is it time to goose Dorrell? You betcha. This is year five and it was supposed to be the year that the Bruins were super-competitive. This was the year that the Bruins were supposed to fly through the conference and give USC a scare in the Coliseum. Sorry, ain't going to happen. Not by a long shot. Assuming Cowan comes back and plays decently, this looks like another 7-5 (or worse) team to me. That doesn't cut it and someone will have to be held accountable. That someone is Karla Dorrell. Now someone text'd me yesterday and claimed that Dorrell was the black Steve Lavin. My first thought . . . . that might not be fair to Steve Lavin. And my second thought . . I couldn't care less that Karla is black. If he could win games, I wouldn't care if his name was Kalari and he was a card-carrying member of Al Qaeda. But since the race card is out there (and it always is), I will use it to draw a little historical perspective to this debate. A ways back, UCLA had an African-American coach who also happened to lose a game to Utah. His name was Larry Farmer and he got dumped a year after losing to Utah in the second round of the 1983 NCAA tourney. In that instance, the administration waited a year. This go around, I hope they are a bit more expeditious.

Jacobo the Navajo, plus OJ, Belichick and Movies

2007-09-16T09:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, let’s make this clear, Jacoby Ellsbury is no longer a “when” player. He is a “now” guy and it’s time for the Red Sox to accept this fact. After this past week, the debate has now shifted from whether young Jacoby will be on the post-season roster to which regular Jacoby will displace from the post-season starting lineup. I know this kid is wet behind the ears and has a total of just sixty-five major league at bats, but Jacobo has to play. He is no longer a luxury that can be counted on to pinch-run and maybe grab some late-inning leather. No, not anymore. That won’t do for Jacabo the Navajo. Listen, this is a team that has seen its World Series formula unravel a bit in recent weeks as its Japanese imports have been recalled, its catcher has developed a phobia to hitting with runners on base and its Greek God of Walks has morphed into a deity who now specializes in whiffs and bad facial expressions. So if the starting pitching is not what it was supposed to be and the bullpen's Toyota is in the shop, wouldn’t it make sense to do whatever it takes to gun the offense? Well, inserting Ellsbury into the lineup is a start. I don’t care where he plays. You want to stick him in right and bench the crime-solver, Nancy Drew? That is fine by me although I think at this point, it makes more sense to keep young Jacabo on the reservation and let him play for Coco in center. As much as I would love to have Coco’s golden glove in center, it’s pretty clear his offense is tame against lefties and lame against righties (It’s actually passable against both but passable doesn't cut it in October). So that’s my answer. Yes, my final answer. Jacobo is the Red Sox new center fielder. Thanks Coco, your work was appreciated and if the Sox can somehow win this thing, I promise they will fly you in from Minnesota or Atlanta for next year’s ring ceremony. In the meantime, good luck Jacabo. You’re now the Sox secret weapon against the Indians. The Sox still have some cowboy holdovers from 2004 but now they have an honest-to-goodness injun to use against the Tribe.

Some more thoughts . . .

So what was OJ doing out in Vegas . . . . . trying out for an open spot on Danny Ocean's crew? Is the Juice going to run for a couple touchdowns in Oceans 14? So the story goes like this: the Juice broke into a hotel room to retrieve some crap that he says was stolen from him. He says he took the matter into his own hands because: "the police, since my trouble, have not worked out for me." Really? Well, there is a shocker. It guess that just goes to prove the old adage that police are always screwing over the double murderers. The other thing I found interesting about this story is that OJ was in Vegas to attend a freind's wedding. Here is my question - Who the fuck invites OJ to his or her wedding? Can you imgaine showing up for a wedding and you're seated at the killer's table? Better yet, imagine being a single woman at that party or the server who is working OJ's table. I'll tell you one thing, if I am at the wedding, I am keeping my mouth shut until the kitchen confirms that all the steak knives have been collected.

Best thing to happen at Fenway yesterday . . . Josh Beckett clearly nails Jason Giambi with a retaliatory pitch and Jason takes it like a man. Story over! Folks, this is how baseball was meant to be played Guys get hit and guys get hit in retaliation. It’s all part of the game and it doesn’t deserve much, if any, discussion. It absolutely drives the Holic crazy to hear sports “fans” endlessly discuss beanings. The whining and complaining and hand-wringing is, at best, tiresome, and at worst, embarrassing. In fact, I almost think that by definition, one isn’t a “fan” if he spends more then two minutes a year discussing hit batters. I’ll give out one exception to those who spent up to five minutes discussing Clemens and Piazza but that is the only latitude I will grant. To those of you who are still whining about Pedro sending Jeter to the hospital, well, have fun watching The View and Grey’s Anatomy.

Boy did WFAN’s Mike Francesca get stuffed by Chris Simms on this morning’s NFL pre-game show. For those who haven’t been listening, Mikey has been raising a big stink about this Bill Belichick taping incident. His take: why would the Pats “go to such great lengths to get this info” if it didn’t have great value. Well, Chris stopped this offensive right in its tracks this morning when he claimed to have spoken to three head coaches on the matter, including Herman Edwards, and each said that they couldn’t imagine that the tapes had any value whatsoever. Mikey made a weak attempt to protest, but his idol was pretty skeptical. It will be interesting to see where Mikey goes from here now that he has been slapped in the face. He usually just parrots what Phil has to say but what happens when such regurgitation is at odds with his previous position? Does he eat the crow before him (might as well, he eats everything else) or does he stay the course and pander to the shrill alarmists? Strikes me that Francesca should have done a little digging and a little thinking before he wandered out to the end of the plank.

[Sidebar to Mikey’s comment – what great lengths did the Pats go? They hired a cameraman and said cameraman was standing in plain view for everyone to see. Since when does that qualify as a great length? No, great lengths would have been if the Pats had hired somebody in the blimp to get the shot. Or better yet, pay someone to go “mission impossible” and break into the opposing team’s halftime to get the second half adjustments.]

Final word, for now, on the Belicheat incident. Has Bill Belichick ever raped Gary Myers of the Daily News? Did he taunt Myers in grade school? Maybe steal his milk money? If not, what justifies Gary’s triple-barrel anti-Pat barrage? Gary has always been myopically obsessed with the Pats but his vigor and vitriol was turned up several notches this week as he covered this story. First, Gary went B-A-N-A-N-A-S when the news first broke. Then, proving he isn't just a hollowback girl, GM protested vigorously when Belichick wasn’t suspended, de-clawed and sentenced to prison. Now he is claiming that Tom Brady has been the big beneficiary in this whole sordid tale, suggesting that his drive to beat the Panthers in Super Bowl 38 was aided by stealth and trickery. Just a hunch, but I am confident that Gary will have a “gotcha” story this week if the Pats lose tonight and “it doesn’t matter” story if the Pats win. Needless to say, Gary’s Sunday argument has more holes than the Giants defense but I will skip the details as I have already covered some of this material in an earlier post. That being said, I will say that I believe Gary is an unethical columnist and I am convinced, REPEAT CONVINCED, that he manufactures quotes to give his storiess credibility. It is pretty transparent and I am surprised it continues to squeak by the editors at the Daily News. Gary, if you are listening, lets make this clear. This scribe thinks you FABRICATE primary source material to give your stories color and depth. I may not have enough evidence to indict or convict, but I think the factual record strongly suggests that you have cheated your profession.

Best comment of the past week – Dottie Pepper, while commenting for the Golf Channel on the Solheim Cup, called the Americans, perhaps accidentaly, a bunch of “chokin freakin dogs.” In the vanilla world of golf commentary, Dottie’s unvarnished rip of the American team was tantamount to acing a par four. Listen, Johnny Miller will occasionally step up with some fair and biting criticism of his fraternity but even Johnny stops short of where Dottie went. Dottie is basically Johnny Miller on HGH. Not only did she use golf’s four letter word – choke – but she added emphasis with a bastardized bit of profanity. This is worthy of a profile in broadcasting courage as far as the Holic is concerned. Hey, I am not a huge fan of having women comment on male sports but if Dottie is going to hit us with zingers like this, it’s time she got a higher profile gig as a regular PGA tour commentator, preferably on CBS. I'm sure she'll be available as her days at the Golf Channel are surely numbered.

The Holic can’t wait for this new Ken Burns documentary on World War II, which debuts on September 23 and will air over seven weeks. Burns is the freakin Mozart of his art and this epic looks like it might be his finest work to date. If you don’t believe me – check out the 25 minute preview on the PBS website.

Some quick movie reviews . .

Superbad . . . . ok, the fat kid from Knocked Up can’t act to save anyone’s life and he becomes an irritant, but the movie works because the other two dorks are excellent. The girls are cute, which is a bit disturbing for a 38 year-old like myself to mention, and Seth Rogin/Partner are terrific as a pair of young cops who take one of the dorks (McLovin) on a memorable ride-along. The writing-directing pair of Seth Rogin and Judd Apatow is having an excellent year and I now have them ranked above both Chris Guest/Harry Shearer and the Farrelly’s on my list of top comedy development teams.

3:10 to Yuma . . . excellent Western with a healthy dose of great shots and a fine performance from Christian Bale. The storyline is a bit weak and overly-convenient, but I think it makes it to the finish line in one piece.

No End in Sight . . . . . there is some great footage of Iraq and the documentary does include some interviews which help illustrate why the American occupation got off to such a rocky start. That being said, the documentary is a bit one-sided as the producers were unable to get many major players to defend that first year of the occupation. As a result, the film comes off being more partisan than objective. Much of that criticism is probably deserved but it would have been much more effective if the producers had been able to get Paul Bremer or Don Rumsfeld or Richard Meyers to either defend or explain their decisions. Instead, the film relies on some mid-level types for the contra-argument and, as a result, it lacks depth and stature.

Just some thoughts on the rape of Bill Belichick

2007-09-14T14:35:00.001-07:00

So the Holic got tangled up in a little cyber-dispute on this Bill Belichick issue and what lies below is my response to a Jet fan who was outraged by the whole turn of events, including the "slap on the wrist" that BB received as punishment.

So let me get this straight . . . . An appropriate penalty would be a $500,000 fine, the loss of three draft picks, AND a suspension that will conveniently coincide with the Pats-Jets rematch? Is that it? Why stop there? Why not just bar the Pats from drafting anyone next year? While you’re at it, why not give the Niners their pick back? And why stop there? Why not ask the union for the right to rescind $20 million of New England’s spending authority? Come to think of it, why don’t we just break up the team and hold a dispersion draft? Each non-playoff team gets a player off the roster (20) and the balance of the 53 man team moves out to LA and become the expansion California.Bulls. Meanwhile, how bout we bar Bill Belichick from football and put his skills to work at Central Intelligence?

Folks, the Pats broke a rule. Was it stupid – yes. Was it criminal – hardly. So how come we are hearing alarmists try to elevate this misdemeanor into a capital case? Let’s be honest folks – it’s hard to identify a single aggrieved party and no one has been able to articulate whether the information at hand has any utility whatsoever. But the Pats cheated! They had our plays! They could adjust to our blitzes, our rolls and our stunts! How can you fail when you know your opponents defense? FOR GODS SAKE - THEY CHEATED! THEY CHEATED! THEY ARE A BUNCH OF CHEATERS! Easy folks. Take a deep breathe and exhale. Can we now proceed in a civil fashion?

Let’s start at the beginning. The Pats are accused of filming the opposing team as they send in their defensive signals. OK, the Pats broke the letter of the law. But what benefit did they really acquire as a result of their transgression? Was it diamonds or dog shit? I can’t be certain it was dog shit but it certainly wasn’t a diamond.

In essence, all they got out of this heist was information that can be acquired through other legal means. For instance, there is no ban on having a couple of staffers manually chart the signals of the other team. You have one guy with binoculars keying the signals to a stenographer and voila – you have a complete accounting of the other team’s signals and that can then be overlayed with the game film. In other words, you have created a work product that largely mirrors what you get from filming the other sideline. So is filming really tipping the competitive balance? HARDLY. Simply put, it’s not a crime for advance scouts to chart plays and signals. Moreover, it’s not a crime to do that in-game, so long as it is done by eye and hand. So the Pats cut a corner. So they cut back on overhead and obtained a work product without having to hire a stenographer. Big deal. So the Pats are cheap – is that a crime? Well, I guess it is under league rules but does this transgression really warrant severe sanctions? And yes, losing a number one draft pick is a pretty severe sanction.

So on to point two – what is the utility of the information at hand? The alarmists will tell you that the information has great value and can upend the competitive landscape. I’m not so sure about this claim. For arguments sake, let’s assume you figure out a way, without the other team’s knowledge, to crack the signaling system. The offense has a very small window to call the play from the sideline. After this window closes, the radios are silenced. So an offensive coordinator/play caller doesn't really have any time to crack the signal and then adjust accordingly. At the very best, he is getting his play called while the opposing team is signaling in its defense. So the plays are now called with no advantage to either side. From that point, the only way to take advantage of the "cracked" signal is for Brady to have been watching the defensive sideline and to have seen the signal himself. At that point, I guess he could audible at the line but I don't see this as being too feasible since all of this happens very quickly. Moreover, I have never missed a single Brady game and I can’t recall a time where I saw him simultaneously calling a play in the huddle and looking over to the other sideline to steal a sign. Don’t you think that would like a bit suspicious? So suspicious in fact that I can’t recall ever seeing it.

Point three – if the whole league is supposedly in on the Pats secret, how can it possibly be worth anything? Listen, if the whole league has known about this practice, then don’t you think various teams would have taken measures to limit its effectiveness? I mean, if you know the other team is trying to break your code, don’t you adjust and come up with new signals? And not just new signals, but signals that purposefully confuse your enemy? Of course you do and that is why all this “woe is me” talk is complete nonsense. Listen, this is hardly the U.S. Naval intelligence service breaking the Japanese code and using it to lie in wait for the Imperial Navy at Midway. In that case, the Japanese had no idea what we were doing and they headed straight for a trap. In this case, the other team is fully aware of the practice so who is trapping whom? In fact, because the cat is out of the bag, if almost defies logic that the Pats would put much stock in their conclusions. Morale to the story . . . . This was a victimless crime that has been hijacked by those who are either tired of being waxed by the Pats, harbor some personal animus towards.BB or just want to minimize the team’s past accomplishments. Despite what you might hear from Gary Meyers or Hines Ward, or Tony Dungy or Brian Dawkins, this was not murder. This was not rape. This was not dog fighting. This was not armed robbery or child abuse, or even trafficking narcotics. No, this was a few unpaid parking tickets or perhaps a petty case of tax evasion. That’s it – nothing more and nothing less. Pay the fine at window J . . . Next!

Last points – (the first four are rebuttals my attacker's email. In that full frontal, he suggested that the Pats had been damaged in many ways . . . )

"Destroyed the credibility of the Patriots "ideal" organization." That was always a myth and certianly nothing that the Holic cared about.

"Destroyed the credibility of Belichick as a genius " Genius? Steven Hawking is a genius. Chris Rock is a genius. Charlie Kauffman, Mark Knopfler and Christopher Guest might all be geniuses. Bill Belichick is a fucking football coach! A good one at that but a genius? Save the hyperbole.

"Created major doubts about the legitimacy of their Super Bowl dynasty." Perhaps amongst the uninformed but who cares what they think. And if you want to challenge that legitimacy, try citing the tuck reversal or the Drew Bennet drop, or Ty Law raping Marvin or the fact that Donovan couldn't hold his lunch down. You have to do better then a rogue film student to bring down this dynasty.

"Potential hasten the exit of Belichick as HC of NEP" The only people in New England who have as much long-term job security as BB are Ted Kennedy and the guys working on the big dig. BB could go anti-semetic on Bob Kraft next week during the Yom Kippur and still coach the Buffalo game on Sunday.

Those who minimize the importance of losing a number one pick just because the Pats own another such pick should have their heads examined. That logic is laughable. Case in point, the last player picked in last year’s first round was Anthony Gonzalez (Ohio State). You don’t think an NFL team would rather have AG than the 53rd player on their roster? The Pats have gotten tremendous returns from their number ones since Robert Edwards in 1998 – Seymour, Warren, Wilfork, Maroney – you don’t think losing the opportunity to add to this fraternity is significant?

Mangidiot, if he was responsible for tipping off security, really sunk to new lows when he showed up for the post-game handshake. How can someone have the balls to shake someone’s hand ninety minutes after he ratted them out? That is a bit like Henry Hill walking over to Jimmy in the courtroom and shaking his hand moments after he testified against Jimmy. Cmon Mangidiot, if you are going to screw someone, you might as well do away with the after-sex kiss.

To those who ask – why did he BB do it? Why would he do something so stupid? Well, here is a theory of mine. It’s a bit out of leftfield but what if BB wanted to get caught? What if he thought this could be used to motivate his troops? After all, now the army is pissed! Now the army has something to prove! Now the army is massing to invade Poland! Hell hath no fury like a scorned Patriot. (I don’t really subscribe to this theory but it wouldn’t shock me – after all, this is a guy who really wants that fourth ring and will do anything to get it, including making a deal with the devil himself, Randy Moss. And if he gets that fourth ring, all of this will be forgotten.)

What if . . . Ellsbury is the real deal?

2007-09-05T09:09:00.000-07:00

What if ……..?

So what if Jacoby Ellsbury is the real deal? What if this hot start is more lasting than lucky? And what if Jacoby is still raking at the end of the month? If the answer to that question is yes, than it begs an additional question: What is Jacoby’s role in the post-season?

Well, here is one thought, albeit one that has almost no chance of making it onto a lineup card. This is the plan against right-handers – stick Ellsbury is left, pencil Manny into the DH slot, and tell Ortiz to grab a glove and Youkilis to grab some pine. Sure, you are giving up some D at first, but you are gaining a big defensive upgrade in left. Moreover, you are completely changing the face of the lineup – adding some legs and removing a plodder who has suddenly morphed into a whiff machine. That speed might come in handy against a tough right-hander like Carmona who would surely have his way with the Greek God of Whiffs. Moreover, Youk’s patience might be wasted against a guy like Paul Byrd who never walks anyone. One big downside to the move – if you want a defensive upgrade at first late in the game you would lose Ortiz. But given Papi’s late inning numbers this year, this might not be such a big deal.

And if you prefer to keep it simple, you could always just sit JD Drew and let Ellsbury play right. The downside is opposing players will be flying around second and taking third throughout the playoffs. The upside: JD Drew's dead bat would be silenced (hasn't it been silent all year, you ask?) and you might get some sizzle at the head of the lineup.

Something to chew on . . . .

Dear Yankee Fans . . . Sorry to Hear of Your Loss

2007-08-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

Stop! Yankee fans, stop right there! Don’t you dare try to re-define this season and the club’s benchmarks for success. Such adjustments are simply not allowed. Not for a club with four sure-fire hall of famers on its roster. Not for a club with a payroll of $210 million dollars. And certainly not for a club that has won every American League East Division title since 1997.

What am I talking about? Well, I am simply trying to head off those Yankee fans who are attempting a little bait and switch in the eighth inning of this 2007 baseball season. Less you haven’t noticed, there is a movement afoot within the evil empire to modify the club’s mission statement and re-define its measures of success. It’s happening slowly and in fits and starts, but what we are now seeing is a fan base grasping at semantics to assure itself that this season has not become a dismal failure.

Of course I refer to those in Yankee land who are now MINIMALIZING the inevitability that the club will finally lose its grip on the AL East division title. This treasure has been in the family for ten years and, in recent years, it has been used as a giant stick to whack Red Sox fans. The division championship is not some trivial point for Yankee fans. Instead, it is one of the foundations upon which the Yankee house is built. It’s not quite as important as the twenty-six World Championships, but it is a source of great pride. Moreover, the division championship run has been a faithful companion for Yankee fans in some of their darkest hours.

Case in point -2004. In the months after the Yankees were involved in the GREATEST AND MOST COMPLETE collapse in professional sports history, some Yankee fans took comfort in the fact that the Red Sox achieved their victory as a wildcard. “They may have caught lightening in a bottle, but we were the better team over the entirety of a season,” Yankee fans lamented. While intelligent Yankee fans couldn’t mumble such a line with a straight face, the bulk of the army bought into this Weimar Republic theory. If that weren’t the case, then how come I’ve heard it dozens of times since Johnny Damon cracked that slam off Javy Vasquez.

Example number two: 2005. Just in case that season’s finish has slipped from your memory, the Red Sox and Yankees finished that season with identical records yet the Yankees were awarded the division title because of their head-to-head record with the Sox. This was no small award in the mind of a Yankee fan. It was a hard-won victory and one that was deserving of great celebration even though the season was destroyed a week later by Mike Sciccosa’s Angles. “Hey, we may have been punked by the Angles once again, but at least we beat the Sox to the finish line!” That line of reasoning wouldn’t seem to be much solace but it comforted Yankee fans during the winter of 2006 and it is still referenced by Yankee fans to belittle Boston and the rest of baseball.

As most would agree, the Yankee mission statement is pretty clear. A successful Yankee season is comprised of two core achievements – a division title and a World Championship. PERIOD! The World Championship is obviously paramount but the division title is not a trivial addendum. Nowhere, and I repeat nowhere, can you find the word ‘wildcard” in the Yankee bible. That word is blasphemous in the Bronx church. “Wildcard? We don’t need no stinking wildcard!” Well it turns out the Yankees will indeed need that wildcard to prolong their season.

So what are Yankee fans now doing? Well, in recent weeks, you are seeing the fan base dust off the word “wildcard” and insert back into their lexicon. Slowly but surely, it has now become acceptable to advance into the playoffs via the wildcard. “Division title? We don’t need no stinking title. Others have won championships via the wildcard and that is all that matters.” Say what? Sorry guys – this is not permissible. When you have invested so much in the division title streak, you can’t simply walk away and now pretend that it isn’t deeply important. That is a bit like investing thirty percent of your portfolio in sub-prime loans and when those loans head south, you walk away and pretend that investment never existed.

But Yankee fans will now claim is the division title run was never important. That is the insecurity talking. That is the Yankee fan trying to invent ways to save a season that is half-way down the toilet. Sorry guys – the Yankees have a definition of success and a season ending up with a wildcard, or worse, is not a success. Clearly a world championship would help assuage the fans pain over losing the division title streak, but I find it comforting that 2007 WILL mark the year that the Yankee fan lost one of their best friends. Don’t let Yankee fans tell you otherwise – that friend was a great friend and it’s no longer. RIP . . . . . BITCH!

Max and Vick - back at it on Cultural Relativism

2007-08-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

So Max Kellerman was back at it this morning, offering a tepid defense of Michael Vick. Basically, I think Max subscribes to the theory that certain behavior can be excused if it is condoned within a person's local culture. he refers to it as cultrual relativism and this was my pointed critique of his view.

Cultural Relativism

Max

I am tired of you and some of Michael Vick’s defenders attempt to excuse his behavior on grounds that it is understandable, and even permissible, because of his cultural upbringing. Because number seven was raised in a community where a small group thinks it is okay to maim and torture a dog, we should look the other way and give this guy a pass?

Listen, as I explained in a recent essay, an overwhelming number of people in this country think dog fighting is bad and therefore we, as a people, have collectively decided that it is unethical to engage in such behavior. That is the standard – PERIOD! You can try to confuse and obfuscate this debate by discussing deer hunting and the pork industry, but at the end of the day, the people of this country recognize and support the idea that there is a special relationship between dog and animal. Is that standard completely consistent? Perhaps not but this standard is informed by four thousand years of social history and it is a standard that is nearly universally supported in this country

So Americans have collectively concluded that dog fighting is unethical - that is hard to challenge. But some, including yourself, Steph and Roy Jones, now want to excuse Vick, claiming that his actions were in some way defensible since they complied with a reprehensible local custom. “Poor Michael Vick, we can’t punish him – he doesn’t know any better. He grew up in a community where this is permitted so we have to be more understanding. We need to account for his upbringing. We need to cut him a little slack.” What a bunch of crap!

We should cut this guy some slack because dog fighting is somehow accepted in very small pockets of the country? And we should cut him some slack even when that accepted practice is completely at odds with this nation’s ethics? That is a bit like abolitionists looking the other way in the 1850s and saying: “you know what, these Southerners were raised on Slavery and it’s all they know. As such, we can’t assume the moral high ground and demand that Slavery be abolished.” Similarly, under this model, how can you criticize someone who grew up in the South who may have racist thoughts? After all, that is how he was raised and that is all he knows.

Excusing racism because it is engrained in some local custom is preposterous and so is excusing dog fighting because some yocals have long got-off watching dogs tear each other apart. There is simply no room to condone this behavior. You and Steph can argue all you want about hypocrisy and double standards and whether deer deserve additional protection, but at the end of the day, those arguments fail to recognize that dogs have a special place in our society. That is the case and no local custom can supplant that fact. Its time for some of Vick’s supporters to either accept this view or start cutting racists a bit more slack.

A Salary Cap in Baseball? What About a Salary Floor?

2007-08-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

I think most people would agree that there is something wrong in baseball when one team has a payroll of $210 million and others spend less than $30 million. It’s hard to argue that there is equity in the sport when there is a seven-fold difference in the amount that teams spend on major league talent. Ok Ok, so there is a problem. Most everyone outside of New York (and perhaps Boston) agree there is a problem but what could be done to remedy these inequities?

Well baseball tried to remedy the problem when it came up with a revenue sharing program that was intended to put some cash into the hands of the cash-challenged. Has the program sparked spending by the have-nots? I suspect in some situations it has led to some higher spending but given current payroll statistics, its pretty clear that some teams are just pocketing the revenue sharing money instead of putting it back into major league payroll. That certainly is the case in Florida where the Devil Rays had an opening day payroll of just $24 million and their brethren in Miami were spending just $30M. At those spending levels, it is unfathomable that these teams are spending their subsidies.

So what could be done to remedy this situation? Well, the knee jerk reaction is simply to limit spending by imposing a payroll cap on the top teams. But would this have the intended affect? Sure, it would reduce the ability of those in the "hundred million dollar club" to recruit, assemble and hoard expensive talent. And I guess it would increase accountability for those teams who rely on fiscal largess and expensive band-aids. But it would not address the fundamental problem in the sport. That problem is not only that the Yankees spend too much, but that the Devil Rays spend too little.

So this is my solution. The player’s union will never go for a plan where there is a spending cap. After all, why would they accept a plan that just cuts a hundred million dollars out of collective payroll spending? But what if the teams agreed to make it up on the back-end? Specifically, what if the owners proposed a cap to go along with a spending floor? In other words, what if the owners proposed to knock out a hundred million of spending at the high-end and make it up by forcing teams to boost spending on the low-end?

I was curious about the feasibility of such a proposal so I took a look at the numbers. This is basically what I found.

On opening day, MLB’s 30 clubs collectively spent roughly 2.53 billion dollars on their 25-man rosters. Seven teams spent more than $100 million (Yankees, Red Sox, Mets, Angels, Mariners, White Sox and Dodgers) while seven teams spent less than $60 million (Devil Rays, Marlins, Diamondbacks, Rockies, Padres, Nationals, Pirates).

So what if you capped spending at $140 million dollars? Well, that would cost the players roughly $71 million in lost wages. If you knocked the cap down to $120 million, the forfeiture would come to $111 and a $110 million cap would lead to a loss of $136 million. So could these losses be made up elsewhere? Absoutely! If one were to impose a spending floor of $60 million, then overall payroll spending would be increased by $125 million. Moreover, a $65 million floor would lead to $163 million in additional spending while a $70 million dollar floor would net $208 in additional spending.

So this is the Holic’s proposal. It would be pretty hard to force every team to spend $70 million. That may be a stretch without some tinkering with the revenue sharing program as there is probably no way that Tampa could afford such a commitment. But what about $60 million? That seems eminently fair to me and as a result of that floor, the union would be enriched by $125 million. Those additional revenues would enable a cut at the high-end. I am proposing that the new limit be $130 million. The union would lose $90 million at this point, but still be up $35 million because of the new spending floor. That seems like a decent trade-off to me.

Would this proposal help competitiveness? It certainly wouldn’t hurt as it obviously would allow (force) some teams to retain their talent and bid for the talent of others. No longer would teams be able to pocket their revenue sharing dollars while their home-grown talent walks out the door. Conversely, a $130 million dollar cap would reign in the free-spenders whose consistent success is due in large part to their financial prowess. I realize there are some problems with this proposal. One being that it might bankrupt, or at least strain some of the teams being asked to spend more dollars. That in turn might limit their ability to throw dollars at scouting and drafting – an area that has been a great equalizer for some. I also understand that sixty million may be a problem for the Florida teams and the revenue sharing program might need to be adjusted a bit to assist these economic laggards. But there is no reason why San Diego and Colorado and Arizona are currently spending so little.

So there it is – my proposal to save baseball and douse one of baseball’s most hotly debated issues.

Santana in Sox?

2007-08-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

So you want to get a Twins fan exercised? Just go ask him about Johan Sanatana and what the left-hander might fetch in a trade this off-season. This issue gained some attention that other day when Buster Olney penned a piece for ESPN.com and based on his reporting, Buster feels that Santana could net four or five players, presumably a couple already big-league tested and a couple top prospects. Well, this seems a bit rich to me but it got me thinking about my Sox and what they could do to snag Johan.

So what about this proposition: Coco Crisp, Jon Lester and Kevin Youkilis. In Coco Crisp, the Twins would be getting a great defensive center-fielder to replace Tori Hunter when he walks after the season. Now Crisp’s numbers have hardly been scintillating in Boston but he is hitting .273, he will wind up with 25 steals and his OBP since the break is .370. He has the makings of a decent leadoff guy and he is under contract thru 2010 at relatively reasonable prices – about 10.5M over the next two years and an 8M option for 2010. The Twins could do much worse than to replace Hunter with Crisp.

With Lester, the Twins would be getting a 23 year-old lefty who has shown glimpses but probably has a ceiling that is lower than previously thought. It’s a bit hard to tell what to make of Lester since he was pitching with cancer last year but he is still pretty well-regarded throughout baseball and he is under control for five more years.

In Youkilis, the Twins would finally be filling a hole at third base that has been a black hole since Corey Koskie hit lotto in 2001. The Twins have tried guys like Brent Gates, Nick Punto and Tony Batista over there and I am sure they would love to have a little more production from that position. Now I am not a huge fan of Youkilis, but he can catch, he can hit .280 with perhaps a slight upwards bias, and he has fifteen home run power. Plus, he is still three years away from free-agency.

So if the Twins made this deal, they would go into 08 with Crisp in center, Youkilis at third, Mauer behind the dish, Cuddy in right, Morneau at first, maybe Kubel in left, Bartlett at short and maybe Casilla at second. The staff would be composed of Garza, Lester, Slowey, Bonser, Baker and perhaps Francisco Liriano. Plus, assuming they don’t plan on materially increasing their payroll, they still would have some of Hunter’s 12M dollars and all of Johan’s 10M dollars to sprinkle around on Morneau, a platoon type in left, a second baseman and/or a DH. Granted, Youkilis and Crisp will eat up some of this money but there should be some money there for the Twins to bring in a few mid-priced free agents. I don't think that is all that bad a team. In fact, if Liriano comes back, I think it could be better than this year's team.

While the above lineup might not sound like a championship club, what is the alternative? Short of dealing Santana, the Twins will go into 08 with a huge hole at third, a huge hole in center, a problem at second, a ballooning contract at first, a closer coming up on free agency and just Hunter’s 12M to pay for it all? Yes Santana is great, but the Twins have to find a way to fill some of these gaps and I don't see it happening without them trading Johan or boosting the payroll by ten million dollars (from 70 to 80). Seemingly, the answers do not lie within as the Twins system is hardly stocked with everyday regulars who are ready to step up. In that vein, doesn’t the Sox deal seem attractive?

My gut tells me Twins fans don’t see it this way. They think that the Twins could recover much more talent for the best left-hander in baseball. I’m not so sure that is the case despite what Buster may think. I mean, do you think the Yankees will give up Melky and Chamberlin for Santana? What about the Angles? Do you think Bill Stoneman will ever part with anything? And the Mets? Would they be willing to deal Milledge and a couple pitching prospects, assuming they exist, for Johan? I think the Mets might be the Twins best hope although I am not sure a Mets package will be much better that the Sox package I proposed earlier.

Perhaps the best thing for the Twins to do is just suck it up and go for it next year. Boost the short-term payroll, sign Kenny Lofton to play center, pick up Mark Lorreta to play second, give Justin his money and hope Nick Punto can hold down third until the trade deadline. Oh yeah, pray Liriano comes back and throws bullets. I am of the mind that the Twins are unlikely to do too much better than what I proposed and if that’s not enough, they might as well just go the 1997 Florida route, boost the short-term payroll and shoot for the moon in 08.

Max Kellerman and Dog Fighting

2007-08-21T09:44:00.001-07:00

So in recent weeks, Max Kellerman of ESPN radio has been belaboring the following point. His view is that dog fighting is "bad" but it is hypocritical for people to claim it is "morally reprehensible" and also support the pork industry. His view - pigs are a higher life-form than dogs and therefore it is hypocritical for humans to support the torture and slaughter of pigs while maintaining that dog fighting is immoral. I called in this morning to offer a rebuttal and what follows is a more exhaustive follow-up . . . ..

Max

I’d like to expand upon the point I made this morning . . . .First, I find dog fighting to be morally reprehensible. Second, I also eat plenty of pork. Third, I don’t find these positions at odds and I certainly don’t think I am being hypocritical. And this is the crux of my argument

The relationship between man and dog goes back at least 4000 years when man brought the wolf in from the wild and domesticated it. As such, there is now a “social contract” between man and dog. We brought dogs into our lives to hunt, to protect, to herd, to retrieve, to aid in transport, and most importantly, to be our companions. And over the years, man and dog have developed a special relationship that is built on trust and loyalty and love. In exchange, we have a duty, in fact an obligation, to protect these animals. It’s basically an iron-clad contract that reveals itself in both western ethics and the law of this land. Period. You know why we don’t have laws against pig fighting or seal fighting or hawk fighting? It’s because man doesn’t have a contract with those groups. That is not the case with dogs who have a long-lasting and contractually-protected bond with humans.

So on to your argument. You claim that it is hypocritical for me to claim dog fighting is a moral outrage yet also passively support the pork industry. And why is this? Well, according to you, it’s because pigs are smarter than dogs and therefore they deserve at least the same protections. Well, I obviously disagree. First of all, I don’t necessarily agree that pigs are smarter but that is neither here nor there. Second, I define morality differently than you. In this instance, I find dog fighting to be immoral because it breaks the social contract that man has with dog. In my book, it is immoral to break a contract, regardless of whether it is a social contract like the one before us or a commercial contract. As such, I have no problem finding it immoral to torture dogs yet permissible to slaughter pigs. Show me the contract that pigs have with man and I might sing a different tune.

So on to Vick. Number seven’s crime is not necessarily immoral. I personally think his actions are immoral but that is neither here nor there as it’s not for me to export my morals into this discussion. What is important here is that Vick’s actions are clearly in conflict with western ethical standards and the laws that flow from those standards. Western ethics, as they pertain to dogs, flow from the long history man has with canine and the social contract I discussed above. There is no ambiguity here. Simply stated – westerners have long held that it is UNETHICAL to mistreat dogs. If there wasn’t a super-majority of people who agreed with me, than perhaps we might have a debate. But that is not the case. Our ethics come from our popular and cultural beliefs and in this case, the citizenry overwhelmingly feels that dog fighting is wrong. Moreover, there is no room for cultural relativism in this debate. I don’t care where Vick was raised and what standards apply in that zip code. It simply doesn’t matter. Western ethics trump any local ordinance and claims to the contrary are simply misplaced and smack of apologism.

The Greek God of Walks?

2007-08-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

Kevin Youkilis received his first taste of celebrity back in 2003 when Oakland GM Billy Beane labeled Youk as the Greek God of Walks. Well, I have a great deal of respect for Beane but in hindsight, I have to now question whether it might be more appropriate to call Youkilis the Greek God of Whiffs. For those of you haven’t noticed, Youkilis is in a terrible funk and has now whiffed in twelve consecutive games and thirty-six times since the all-star break. Moreover, he has just ten extra base hits since the break and over the past two months, Youkilis is hitting a scintillating .218. You think Youkilis and his agent will mention these numbers when they hit arbitration this winter? Making matters worse, at least in this scribe’s eye, is the fact that Youk’s on-field antics are childish, grating and completely misplaced. This is a guy who waves his arms, drops his jaw and rolls his eyes every time he takes a called strike. Watching Youkilis is like watching a guy who just lost the World Series of Poker to a miracle card on the river. The big difference? Youkilis acts that way four times a night and sometimes twice in the same at bat. It’s almost as if he thinks he is a breathing questech machine who is entitled to a strike zone the size of a shoe box. Message to Kevin: Just because you got some kind words from Billy Beane five years ago does not make you Ted Williams and it does not entitle you to call your own game. Greek God of Walks? Hardly. Greek God of Sour Faces? Now that’s more like it.

First Toyota and now the Akita

2007-02-13T09:54:00.000-08:00

Is it not bad enough that the Japanese destroyed the U.S. auto industry? Now they have to come over here and beat all our working dogs at the Westminster Dog Show. What’s next, sushi will displace the hot dog, Sapporo will knock off Budweiser and all white girls will suddenly develop an Asian fetish? In case you don’t know what I’m talking about – here is the rundown. Last night at Westminster, an akita – the national dog of Japan – pulled off a sizable upset when he won the working group by beating a top-ranked malamute and the son of a great Newfoundland champion. What the hell is going on here – Letters from Iwo Jima is going to win the Oscar and an Akita won the Westminster working group. So tonight, I am now in the unenviable position of having to pull for a foreign job as it goes for Best in Show. That is unless a nice Springer or a Retriever works its way through the group ranks to mount a challenge. Hell, I guess it don’t matter as the fancy boys at Westminster always give the top prize to a terrier. The bet here is that this year will be no different.

I've Fallen . . . and I Can't Reach the Clapper!

2007-02-11T20:58:00.000-08:00

I may not have a job or a girlfriend, but at least I have one thing – Duke and UCONN both suck and, judging from yesterday, they are going to suck for the foreseeable future. All I can say is wow. I knew these patients were sick but I got a glimpse behind the curtain yesterday and was shocked to see two programs that are playing in the abyss. Yeah Yeah Yeah, the cronies and apologists will tell you we are seeing a 100-year storm and things will return to normal next year, but based on recent evidence, I would suggest you might consider taking the other side of that bet.

So what’s going on here? Well, lets start up in Storrs where the short-term prognosis is probably more bleak. What you have at UCONN is a very young team that doesn’t shoot very well, doesn’t play defense too well and produces more turnovers in forty minutes than Sara Lee. How bad is it? Well, for every five assists, UCONN throws it away six times. The Huskies are now just 15-9 after starting the season with eleven straight wins, all of which came at home against woefully inferior competition. Since that streak ended on Dec. 30, the Huskies are just 4-9, with wins coming against South Florida, St. John’s, Rutgers and Syracuse. Those wins might have meant something had they come in 1985. But this is 2007 and in the present year, those four wins add up to giant turd.

I spent a little time yesterday watching the carnage and was appalled at what I saw. The Huskies went down to the Georgia Dome and got blasted by a mediocre Georgia Tech team, 65-52, in a game that wasn’t nearly as close as the lopsided score indicates. Granted, the game was played in a Dome, but the Huskies shot just 31 percent from the field, 57 percent from the line and turned the ball over 16 times. What the hell is going on here? Sophomore Craig Austrie was 1-10. The highly touted and somewhat juvenile AJ Price got in for fourteen minutes and was able to go 1-4 with one assist. Based on what I saw, Price should probably keep his night job stealing stereo equipment.

The morale to the story is that UCONN has no players. Sure, they have eight freshman and four sophomores, but at the end of the day, these kids might not be any good. Talented yet inexperienced is one thing, but there is no sign that these kids are the former. Sure, Jeff Adrian looks like a player on one wing, but that’s about it. This is just a flat-out bad team and one that doesn’t stand to make much improvement without an infusion of talent. Now I heard Jim Calhoun on the radio last week express his confidence in this group, but you have to scratch your head and wonder what group he is watching. Hye, I’m not at practice everyday, but I have watched UCONN a few times this year and I don’t see any Ray Allen’s or Donyell Marshall’s or Caron Butler’s. Moreover, as I expected, Calhoun spent much of that interview making excuses, challenging anyone to find a program that could withstand the losses UCONN incurred after last season. Is he insane? Here is the answer Jim – the 2006 UNC Tar Heels. They lost four first round draft picks off their national Championship team and their seven top scorers. What happened to them the following year? Well, they competed for the ACC title and went into the tourney as a three seed. That is a far cry from where this Husky team is today.

Now we turn to Durham, where the situation turns darker by the day and the long-term prognosis is perhaps worse than it is in Storrs. Here is the Duke situation – after losing last night in College Park, the Devils are just 5-6 in the ACC, with road games looming at BC, UNC and Clemson. In order to get back to .500 in conference play, they will have to beat Georgia Tech and Maryland at home and win one of those road games. Ain’t going to happen! Not with this team. Thus, Duke is going to end the season with a sub-.500 conf record. Will that get them into the tourney? Will the mystique of Duke curry favor with the selection committee? Its possible that 7-9, coupled with a win in the ACC tourney might do the trick, but it will be close. And even if that does get them in, I am fairly confident that this club will end Duke’s 10-year streak of advancing to the regional. And if this club misses the tourney, how long before you see t-shirts saying “I paid 50K for this?”

So what is Duke’s problem? Well, its plain as day that this team doesn’t have any players. This can be a bit masked when they play at home, but on the road, this team is simply defenseless. They have no quickness on the perimeter, no inside game, and the bench is occupied by guys who probably belong at Hofstra. And things don’t figure to get much better. In fact, they figure to get much worse as its likely that Duke will lose its best player – Josh McRoberts – this year. That will leave K with a squad of returnees that should show up to Midnight Madness next year wearing shirts saying: “I play for Duke Univeristy – The Iona of the South.” Greg Paulus will be one of the returnees, but unfortunately for Duke, he plays an awful lot like one of the assistants on Duke’s bench and I’m not talking about Johnny Dawkins. Jon Scheyer will also be returning, but in the 6’5 white man category, Scheyer reminds me a whole lot more of UVA flameout Willie Dersch than he reminds me of JJ Redick.. Simply put, Coach K has no players. And whose fault is that but his own? He knew Reddick and Sheldon Williams were leaving – after all, they were seniors. He had time to prepare for those departures and all he could come up with was Jon Scheyer and Gerald Henderson. And just wait until next year. Help is coming in the form of 6’8 Kyle Singler, a recruit out of Oregon, but without McRoberts, this group will have to overachieve just to achieve mediocrity.

The funny thing about this is Coach K has basically escaped blame for the whole mess. His apologists at ESPN stress its just one year and not a disastrous year at that. Just a blip on the radar, says defense counsel Vitale. Blip? What team is he watching? Simply put, there are no guarantees in college sports anymore. Vitale can keep living in the past and assume his buddy will pull things together, but I have seen no evidence of late to support such a thesis. Things are bad in Durham. Real bad. French army bad. The way I see it, Duke could miss the tourney this year and be way down next year. Two bad years in a row and the next thing you know, kids are going to Virginia and NC State. Dickie V would never concede such a possibility, not while his buddy was manning the sideline. I’m not sure it will happen either and I wouldn’t bet against K pulling things together in 09, but the one thing clear to me at this point is Duke has fallen and there is no guarantee it will be getting up anytime soon. I may not have a job but at least I got that.

K-Dice, Vernon and Senator Johnson

2006-12-14T09:30:00.000-08:00

So the Red Sox have themselves a new pitcher – this one costing just $103 million over the next six years. My thoughts? Well, this effort to sign Daisuke Matsuzawka shows that the Sox front office is actually capable of devising a plan and sticking to it. Prior to yesterday, such capability was largely in doubt due to a track record littered with flip-flops, diversions, and abortions. In this instance, it seems as if the Sox had a thoughtful and well-devised plan, stuck to it, and saw it come to fruition largely as envisioned. Sure, they shocked the world with the Herculian posting fee and critics crowed that the organization was primed to jump off the plank into a sea of fiscal irresponsibility. But a funny thing happened on the way to another fiscal disaster. And that thing was the Sox actually won a hand against Scott Boras and ended up locking up a 26-year old pitcher for a price that is within market parameters. Hey, I have no idea if the “Orient Express” can pitch. I have no idea whether this guy is more Nomo than Pedro. I couldn’t tell you what the hell this “gyro” ball is all about. But what I can tell you is that the market for pitching has gotten flat out stupid and if this kid turns out to be a stud, $17M/yr is pretty damn reasonable. Sure, this is a gamble and given the Sox recent history of mis-evaluating talent, I am a bit concerned this one will also be more fizzle than fuzz. But at some point, the Sox are going to get one of these talent assessments right and if this is the turn, it just may turn out that the Sox got a steal.

Can someone tell me when Vernon Wells morphed into Willie Mays? If in fact Tornoto has offered Vern a new seven-year contract for $126 million and he hasn’t signed it yet, then someone better check under Vernon’s hood. Despite what ESPN's Buster Olney might suggest, Vernon is hardly a superstar. In fact, with a career OPS off just under .830 (and just .732 on the road 04-06), Vernon is a lot closer to Torii Hunter than Carlos Beltran or Andruw Jones. Nice player - yes. Great player? Only if Webster's has significantly diluted the definition of "great" in its latest edition. Olney had the temerity this morning to suggest that given Vernon’s skills and age, he could perhaps command $200 Million dollars on the open market next year. God, if that’s the case (and it isn't), is Andruw Jones going to get Arod money next Winter? And what about Carlos Zambrano? $300 Million? Moral to this story – Olney is a total ass clown prone to hyperbole and Wells is an idiot if he doesn’t his this bid. After all, $126 million is an awful lot for a guy who might not make an all-star team if he didn't get 15-20 at bats off Josh Beckett each year.

So, lets say Senator Tim Johnson doesn’t survive this unfortunate incident with all his faculties. Say, he is placed in a medically induced coma. Well, as I understand it, such a condition will not require Johnson to relinquish his Senate seat. After all, there is precedent for members of the Senate keeping their seats even though they didn’t cast a vote for years. So if Johnson ends up in a vegetated state, the question I have is whether some of those ass clowns who feverishly fought efforts to end Teri Schiavo’s life will stand by the good senator and oppose any effort to end Johnson’s life, knowing full well that his beating heart is all that stands in between minority and majority status. Am I just being cynical to think that all those jerks that fought to keep Teri alive will be a little less vigorous this time around? This is shaping up as the Super Bowl of hypocrisy.

Iraq, Gay Men in the HOF, and Baseball Lunacy

2006-12-08T12:29:00.000-08:00

Just a quick thought on Iraq that struck me this afternoon - As difficult as it is to foresee any tribal reconciliation in Iraq, it seems just as implausible to conceive of any reconciliation occurring in THIS country until this President does the unthinkable: admit this fight has been woefully managed from the top and has resulted in a stinging loss. This is the admission that war critics demand before they can contemplate any support for a new presidential cleanup strategy. Think of it as the non-negotiable ransom that President Bush must pay before war critics will ever call off the dogs. Simply put, war critics want to see the post-game interview where the coach takes the loss unto himself and admits he called a bad game. Such accountability would forever sully Bush’s historical standing and therefore it is almost impossible to conceive, but without such an admission, reconciliation stands a better chance of succeeding in Iraq than it does here at home.

Is Cooperstown ready for a gay man because the way the press reports this relationship between Roger Clemens and Andy Pettite, it is pretty clear that the two-seam fastball Roger taught Andy has absolutely nothing to do with baseball. Jesus, who would have thought Roger Clemens would have so much in common with Andy Dick.

Gil Meche for $55 million dollars? Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this year’s award for “most asinine general manager in baseball” goes to Dayton Moore. Please, would someone explain to me how a team, with a $50 million dollar payroll can justify spending 20 percent of its resources on a pitcher whose career ERA is four and two-thirds? This is a guy whose ERA last year was a tick above the league average which, by definition, makes him middling at best. 55 million dollars? Gil Meche? Just a guess, but with Mike Sweeney's contract expiring this year, my bet is the Royals have the early line of spending Sweeney's dough next Winter on either Paul Byrd or Matt Clement. With this signing, the Royals have firmly announced their intention to compete for the distinction of being the worst franchise in sports. Watch out Matt Millen, someone is gunning for you

Yesterday, I absolutely savaged my Red Sox for their JD adventure and I still believe that is a debacle in waiting, but at least JD can play when he is out there. The same can’t be said for a host of guys getting big money from teams that should have their head examined. Its too easy to pick on Jim Hendry of the Cubs cause he’s been an idiot for years and therefore the mega-deal for Soriano and the lotto ticket awarded to Ted Lilly are par for the course. But when did Bill Stoneman of the Angels lose his mind? Five years and $50 million for Gary Mathews Jr.? When did utility outfielders start winning multi-year contracts that confer eight-figure annual payouts? And across town, the Dodgers gave big money to a center fielder that I have long thought is one of the five most overrated players in all of baseball. I think Juan Pierre had four RBI at Memorial Day last year. FOUR! I realize that the going rate for everyday players has gone up, but Pierre and Mathews are barely everyday players. Fro my money, I’ll take Drew at 70 million over these other two caddies.

Just found this out – Dara Torres, a girl who I dated when I was in sixth grade, is planning to make another comeback and take a shot at making her fifth Olympic swim team, this time at the ripe age of 41. For those of you who are not familiar with Dara’s career, she won eight Olympic medals, four of which are gold, over a sixteen-year period that began in 1984 and culminated at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. She took Athens off but is now poised to make a run at Bejing and based on some recent white-hot performances; she stands a pretty good shot at making that team. Given her sport, where female swimmers generally peak in their late teens, Torres longevity is simply mind-boggling. And let me tell you, when she kissed me at that meet up in San Luis Obispo, I could have never imagined that I would draw a walk and reach first off a girl who would someday reach Olympic immortality.

Watched a little of that Nets/Suns game last night and let’s get this straight. Steve Nash is awesome! I was harboring some reservations before anointing SN as the best point guard of all-time, but if you back out Magic on grounds that he can’t be pigeon-holed as a true point, Nash is right there at the top of the list. You can no longer tell me that Nash has to take a back seat to Isiah or Stockton or Cousy. He’s got those two MVPs and if Amare can stay healthy over the next three seasons, there is no reason to believe Nash won’t pick up a ring one of these years. Marc Cuban can bitch at the NBA all he wants about that bad call that cost his Mavs a title, but he only has himself to blame since he was the one who let Nash go and had Nash still been in Dallas, Cuban would be wearing some extra jewelry.

The Not So Lean Sox

2006-12-06T04:27:00.000-08:00

So the Red Sox mgmt team has gone out and spent 106M of the Trust’s treasure on Julio Lugo and JD Drew. Just fucking great! I swear, other than that clown in the White House, Theo Epstein might be the dumbest motherfucker to have ever graduated from Yale. Come to think of it, I'm not sure the Jews are too thrilled to claim him either. Listen, Jews couldn't get into Yale for 200 years and Theo is just giving ammunition to those on the Board of Trustees who would like to see a return to the old admission policy. Lest you couldn’t tell, the half-Jew Holic didn't like these moves at all.

I guess I’ll start with Drew. First of all, these rednecks almost never work in Boston. Yes, Trot Nixon was from Dogpatch and he kind of worked but his dad is a doctor so Trot was hardly raised by Barney Fife. Drew on the other hand is straight cracker. This is a guy who matriculated in the redneck capital of Florida and balked at playing in Philly due to his concern that Pennsylvania no longer enforces the Fugitive Slave Act. So what does Theo decide to do? Why not bring this Valdosta boy way up North where it’s butt ass cold in April and people actually care when players under-perform. Maybe I'm missing something here. Maybe Theo is privy to some merchandising data that suggests the Sox don't have a toehold down in Dixie and need a new ambassador. So just as Matsusaka is going to sell jerseys over in Tokyo, Drew is going to sell lids down in Tuskeegee. This one is not going to be pretty

Staying with Drew for a second. What did this guy do to deserve this $70M windfall? I’ll tell you - in roughly 500 at bats and 600 plate appearances, he hit .283 with 20 bombs and 100 RBI. His OPS? A nice .895. And that year merits $70M? If that is the case, what does this year merit - 441 at bats, .306 BA, 28 bombs, 87 RBI, OPS of .974.? Well, I’ll tell you what it netted Trot after the 2003 season. Try a three-year contract amounting to $19.5M. What the hell happened in the interim? I’ll tell you what happened. Theo took over and started misallocating resources all over the Fenway grass. This guy is a manic spender. One year he is "Mr. Fiscal Conservative," smartly keeping the buffet closed for Johnny Damon and the like. The next year, he is the Chairman of the Appropriations Committee, doling out largess to every half-ass project under the sun. Its only a matter of time before the honorable chairman bankrupts the nation.

Now Drew supporters will say JD can run a bit and throw a bit and hit a bit. That’s all true, but he’s never healthy, he’s surly, and last year he struggled against lefties and in pressure spots. That’s just what the Red Sox need – another guy who can’t rake lefties. I bet Eric Beddard and BJ Ryan, and Scott Kazmir are licking their chops over this one. Plus, look at his post-season numbers - 11 for 61! Did somebody say AROD? Listen, if Drew is healthy, he’s a pretty good guy to have as your fifth place hitter and god knows the Red Sox got zero production out of that hole last year. But $70M? Listen, for that kind of money, I’ll take a Drew, but I want the one who spells his name Druw.

Last point on Drew before we move on to Luge. Wasn't it just a year ago that this front office was saying that there was no corner outfield power in the organization so a guy like Wily Mo Pena was needed? The answer is yes so Theo, in all his wisdom, went out and traded a solid and inexpensive pitcher (who loved pitching in Boston) for a one-tool wonder named Wily Mo. So what do they do a year later? They go out and pay $70M to lock in some power for the next five years and offer the Seibu Linons $51.1 million for the rights to talk to a pitcher that is now needed to fill Bronson's spot in the rotation. IN otherwords, the Sox made a fifty million dollar mistake and then went and spent another seventy to correct it. So what are they now going to do with Wily Mo?. Well, if Manny isn’t traded, Wily Mo has no role in Boston whatsoever. Hell, maybe they can pawn him off on Jim Bowden who seems eager to get his prize back. If that is the case and the Sox can pry Chad Cordero loose, then I'll turn down the rancor. But if Wily Mo goes and little comes back, this Sox fan is a called strike away from waiting for Theo outside the Fenway parking lot.

So on to Lugo - let me get this straight - the Sox are paying 9M/yr for one shortstop and 3M/yr to Atlanta for another. So that is 12M - or roughly 50 percent more than NL ROY Hanley Ramirez would have made FIVE years from now. So here is the lowdown on Julio. He can run, he gets into counts, and he has a strong, but sometimes eratic, arm. But he strikes out a lot and he’s not a good hitter late or with two outs. J-Lu is hardly another J-Ro, but you sure couldn’t tell that from each player’s pay stubs this year. By the way, J-Lu is already 31 and had no extra base hits against the Yanks last year – welcome to Boston!

The way I see it, here is the moral to this story - NESN must have had a great year cause I now see the 07 payroll at 136M and the Sox still need a closer. Listen, things might still work out for the Sox if Drew stays healthy, Pena fetches Cordero or some other passable closer, Manny shows up this April, Varitek recovers half his game, Beckett grows tired of turning around so quickly, and Matsuaka turns into a nice import Wait, did I just catch myself doing a Peter Gammons impression. Jesus we’re fucked!

Last point – does anyone else out there aside from the Holic think the timing of the Jon Lester “I beat cancer” news was aimed in Scotty B's direction? "Listen Scott, we have our five for 06 if need be. So it’s either 4/32 or you client goes back to Japan for two years and you never rep a Japanese client again. Sleep tight".

Couple of thoughts on Michigan and Florida

2006-12-04T06:47:00.001-08:00

Here are just a few of the Holic's thoughts on Florida’s selection over Michigan to play in the BCS Championship

Two arguments have been greatly overstated over the past week.

First of all, Michigan’s three-point loss at Ohio State was hardly a three-point loss. Sorry guys, back door covers make a difference on collection day but they mean nothing when it comes to comparative analysis. That was a 10-point game that was never in doubt and it could have been much worse had Ohio State not been so charitable. I also don’t think it helps that Michigan’s one big win came against a Notre Dame team that has been revealed as a dirty diaper. So Michigan’s resume basically amounts to a nice win at home versus Whiskey and a not-so-nail-biting loss at Columbus. I’d say this applicant doesn’t deserve the two spot but, then again, Dick Cheney never beat Whisky and it didn’t stop him from being named “number two.”.

Two, the SEC is the best conference in football, but the margin of difference is far less than that espoused by confederate and NASCAR apologists. Georgia stunk, Bama was worse, Arkansas won the West and got absolutely drilled at home by USC, South Carolina squeaked by Wofford and yet only lost by one to Florida, and nine of the twelve conference quarterbacks are bound for Canada or Daytona or Iraq or wherever dumbass rednecks go when their eligibility expires We hear this southern inferiority crap every year and every year the SEC goes out during the bowl season and proves its fallibility. For those of you who have trouble finding your ass with two hands, I’ll just remind you that last winter, Wisky whipped Auburn, Bama squeaked by Texas Wreck, Georgia was maimed at home by West Virginia and Florida hardly dominated Iowa. Best conference – yes, but this is hardly a case where the SEC is the AFC and the Big-10 is the NFC.

Some other thoughts . . . .

Who the fuck names or nicknames their kid Urban? Does he have a sister named Rural? By the way, is it true that in Latin, Urban means whinny bitch? I have had enough of this guy and the real hype is still three weeks away.

It’s just me, but I actually like the Florida Jaws theme song.

Has there ever been a “can’t miss” who has missed by a wider margin that Chris Leak. I’ll help you out and give you Ron Curry who was a top-10 basketball/football recruit at UNC who couldn’t play either sport, but Leak is pretty competitive so long as we keep this to just pigskin. This kid came out of High School as the next Vick but hardly anyone at that time would have guessed that the scouts meant Marcus. You back out Leak’s games against Southern Mississippi, Central Florida and Kentucky and this guy was a total drip.
I think Vandy coach Bobby Johnson should have been given the final say on who got the final BCS championship spot. His Commodores played both teams and just in case you’re too lazy to look up the results, Vandy lost by 20 at Ann Arbor and lost by six at home to Florida. So Bobby, what do you think?

The Race for the Prize - OSU v Michigan!

2006-11-16T08:16:00.000-08:00

In anticipation for this year's Game of the Century, I thought I'd take a few minutes to jot down my thoughts on a rivalry that goes beyond football. . . . . .

The most recent national championships won by both schools are a bit tarnished. Ohio State’s title, won in 2002, came at the hands of Miami, which lost stud back Willis McGhahee in the first quarter and still would have won the game had it not been for one of history’s worst pass interference calls. As for Michigan, their last championship was split with Nebraska after a season where I think UM played ten home games and then barely nipped Washington State in the Rose Bowl. True, Nebraska got some miracle tip that year, but the Huskers drilled Peyton in the Sugar Bowl. What's a more impressive win? Beating Peyton or beating Ryan Leaf?

The best receivers at each school both had the last name of Carter. I give the edge to Michigan’s AC since Chris did his best work on Sundays.

Nobody from Michigan can match Archie Griffen’s two Heisman’s or Santonio Holmes three recent arrests. The best Michigan could do on the blotter is tackle Larry Harrison’s 2006 conviction for indecently exposing himself all over Ann Arbor.

My alma matter, UCLA, punked number one Ohio State in the 1976 Rose Bowl and upset Michigan in the second round of the 1998 NCAA tourney. And had Ty Edney's little runner fallen in 1993, Michigan's Chris Webber would never have had the opportunity to make the second biggest mistake ever committed in an NCAA final.

Nobody from Michigan is starring down Jack Nicklaus but then again, nobody from OSU is out-swimming Michael Phelps.

By virtue of sheer numbers, OSU probably has better looking girls than Michigan but per capita, it might be close. On second thought – does it really matter? The Midwest is the Midwest!

My friend Kim went to Law School at Michigan and she is probably smarter and cooler than anyone who has ever gone to Ohio State.

Michigan clearly turns out better doctors, lawyers and bankers, but OSU turns out better veterinarians (it helps that UM doesn’t have a school).

In the black actors category, OSU produced Superfly while Michigan produced James Earl Jones – edge Buckeyes.

In the stadium “nickname” category, I’ll take “The Horseshoe” over the “Big House,” and on tradition, I’ll take “Script Ohio” over “Hail Hail to Michigan.”

Michigan produced God while the best QB out of Columbus – Art Schlichter - gambled his way out of the NFL. – big edge Wolves.

Ann Arbor is fifth on my list of “best college towns” in America list while Columbus is well . . . . . . .Columbus.

Ohio has a lot of Heartland Republicans and Michigan has the largest arab community in the country. It’s just a matter of time before Ohio invades under the auspicies that Michigan is hiding WMDs.

In hoops, the all-time Ohio State team of John Havlicek, Jerry Lucas, Clark Kellogg, Michael Redd and Jimmy Jackson edges the all-time Michigan team of Glen Rice, Chris Webber, Cazzie Russell, Ricky Green, and Jalen Rose. The difference – Bobby Knight on the sidelines for OSU.

When it comes to baseball, Michigan has Barry Larkin, but OSU had Frank Howard. Too close to call.

The Olympics is close as well as Jessie Owens starred down Hitler and won four gold medals in Berlin while Mike Phelps won eight medals – six gold - in Athens. This is really tough. On the one hand, Owens embarrassed der fuhrer, but he was running and jumping against a bunch of slow white guys. Fast forward 70 years - Phelps wasn’t swimming against many slow black guys. Edge Phelps.

Ann Coulter went to Michigan which is a massive strike against the school, but my hero Jack Kervorkian, also a UM alum, helps offset this blemish. As an aside, I wouldn’t mind seeing Ann come down with some horrific disease and no doctor at her bedside willing to pull her plug. Isn’t irony a bitch!

When it comes to comedy, OSU has Richard Lewis while UM has David Allen Grier. Neither are funny but Lewis’ role on Curb Your Enthusiasm ends up being the difference. Edge Buckeyes.

Michigan has Lucy Liu, Madonna and Alice from the Brady Bunch. The best OSU can do is the lady who was married to Ray Romano on his dopey show. Edge Wolverines.

Michigan has had a guy in the White House and in this contest, he is running unopposed since the best OSU can muster is that guy on Fox who hosts John Kasich’s Heartland.

For my money, Kirk Herbstreit is a better commentator than fellow-Buck Clark Kellogg, and as long as we are in broadcasting, I’ll take Herb over that self-righteous UM grad Mike Wallace. Big edge Buckeyes, especially when you consider that they have Jack Buck on the bench and he just happened to have the greatest home run call of all-time. “We’ll see you tomorrow night!”

During the nineties, my Pats hit it big with UM grad Ty Law while OSU draftees Andy Katzenmoyer and Terry Glenn both turned out to be huge pussies. This decade, OSU grad Mike Vrabel has helped the Buckeye cause in New England but he wasn’t a draftee and he’s no Tom Brady.

Prediction – Ohio State 28 Michigan 20

Enjoy the game!

Sept 11- MVP or Lifetime Achievement Award?

2006-09-11T09:41:00.000-07:00

Since when the does the BBWA give out a lifetime achievement award disguised as an American League MVP? What am I talking about, you may ask? Do I have to answer that? Of course I am talking about this nonsense surrounding Derrick Jeter’s bid to win this year’s AL MVP. As of this morning, this is what DJ’s season projects out to:

635 113 219 42 15 105 .345 .419 .493

DJ is undeniably having a very good year and perhaps his best. But you know what better numbers from a shortstop netted in the 1999 MVP race? Try 7th! And that came from a guy who CARRIED his meager team to the AL wildcard. You think I’m joking? Try these numbers on for size

532 103 190 42 27 104 .357 .418 .603

Granted, Nomar was hurt that year, but his contributions were huge and far superior to DJs. FAR SUPERIOR! Hook nose had an OPS was 100 bps higher than DJ and yet, if there was a Heisman like presentation for MVP, Nomar wouldn’t have even been invited to the Downtown AC. For godsake, he had 13 more extras than DJ in 100 less at bat and I don’t want to hear any “we’re no longer in the steroid era.” Sorry, these two years were compiled in the same era.

I just find this Jeter talk to be a little bit juvenile and I am bit surprised the national press has bought into this NYC-driven campaign. Listen, the Yanks are in front by ten games so the argument that DJ carried this team is purely fictional. This team would have won with a modest year out of Jeter and that is pretty hard to dispute. It’s also a bit hard to stomach some of these Yankee fans complain about the bias against Yankee MVP candidates. Boy do these fans have a short memory since it was just last year that the BBWA committed one of its biggest atrocities to date when it handed Alex Rodriguez a trophy that had David Ortiz name on it. Papi is the rightful winner once again but I understand it can’t go to a guy on a non-playoff qualifier. With that said, there is no doubt in my mind that the trophy belongs in Minnesota where you can flip a coin between Johan and Justin. If you disagree, I suggest you take a look at Sanatana’s numbers once again since they project to 21- 6, a WHIP under one and his team hasn’t lost one of his starts since May. That is an MVP.

Sept. 9 - Thoughts Heading into Horns/Bucks

2006-09-11T08:56:00.000-07:00

Just some thoughts heading into tonight's big OSU/Texa game

Neither school had the best team on the field when they last won national championships. Sorry - Miami, even without Willis McGhahee was better than the 2002 Bucks and USC was an asinine Reggie Bush play away from burying the Horns last year.

UCLA, my alma matter layed the worst home loss in Texas history when they thumped the Horns in 1997 by the not so tidy score of 66-3.

Nobody from Texas is starring down Jack Nicklaus or covering John Havlicek for 48 minutes, but then again, nobody from OSU is out-swimming Arron Piersol or hitting the Rocket.

Texas has better looking girls and a better law school, but OSU turns out better veterinarians (it helps that UT doesn’t have a school).

John Cooper was bad but John Mackovic was worse!

Texas has produced Owen Wilson, Matt McConaughey, Renne Zellweger, Rip Torn and Farrah. OSU has produced Superfly! – Push as RZ and MM are serious negatives.

I would much rather spend a year in Austin than a year in Columbus.

For my money, Herbstreit is a better commentator than fellow-Buck Clark Kellogg, and as long as we are in journalism, I’ll take Herb over that self-righteous UT grad Walter Cronkite.

Mack Brown hadn’t won a big game in his life so how come he is now Vince Lombardi after rolling a nothing schedule (sorry, OU and the Big-12 were horrible last year) and catching a huge break last January? Am I supposed to forget all those losses to Oklahoma and Florida State?

Number 34 edges out Ricky Williams as the greatest player in Texas history since the Gulf of Tonkin resolution and I’ll give that OSU honor to Randy Gradishar, Orlando Pace, or Eddie George. Sorry Chris, you did your best work on Sunday.

Nobody asked for my opinion but I would have grabbed Leinhart ahead of Young.

Maurice Claret should never have been allowed to step on the OSU campus and I’m beginning to wonder whether the same couldn’t be said for Santonio Holmes.

OSU grad Jack Tatum was the dirtiest player in pro football history and George Steinbrenner (OSU something or other) is the dirtiest owner in baseball history.

Jim Tressel – you can take the used car salesman out from Youngstown, but you can’t take the Youngstown out of the used car salesman. That tie and sweater vest ain’t fooling anyone!

The Pats took two Buckeyes in the nineties, Andy Katzenmoyer and Terry Glenn, both of whom turned out to be pussies.

A degree from a school like OSU, which has 50,000 undergrads, deserves an asterisk.

Prediction: OSU 27 Texas 13

June 26 - Yankee Fans and Ageism

2006-06-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

I don't post much anymore, but I wrote this for a friends site - www.brooklynmetfan.com- so I thought I would post it here as well:

Is it just me or is the subject of “age” becoming a real sensitive issue with Yankee fans these days? Lest you haven’t noticed, and it’s pretty hard to fall into this category if you watch any baseball whatsoever, there is an unusually large wave of terrific young players coming of age this year. In Queens and Boston and Florida and Philadelphia and Detroit and Minnesota and Cleveland and Seattle and Los Angeles and even in Pittsburgh, – tomorrow’s stars are budding, and in a number of cases, blooming right before our collective eyes. And lets be frank – I’m not talking about a Pat Listach here and a Scott Williamson there. No, this new class is loaded with guys who have ceilings that reach to Cooperstown. These are guys who will not only dominate baseball for the next decade, but are already on the cusp of “greatness,” and I use that term without doing too much damage to Webster’s permissible definition. And the one thing these young bucks share in common – not a single one of them gets his fan mail sent to the Bronx.

Has it occurred to the typical Yankee fan that we are at the dawn of a new era that, along with most other good things in life, seemingly bypassed the South Bronx? In most cases, it has not since your typical Yankee fan wouldn’t know the difference between Nelson Liriano and Francisco Liriano without the benefit of a baseball encyclopedia and a fascinating anecdote delivered by Yankee great Al Leiter. Nonetheless, there are a handful of Yankee fans – some who may have an iron in the fantasy fire – who are now awakening to the fact that a youthful arms buildup has broken out in baseball and the pinstripes are on the wrong side of the emerging missile gap. And let me tell you, this recognition is not sitting well with some who reside within the evil empire. Sure, some will attempt to accentuate the positive by foolishly touting their own and others will stew quietly as talk turns to the revolution at hand. But rest assured, the informed Yankee fan gets a little uneasy when baseball’s youth movement is broached. These fans know that some of the Yankee shortcomings can be masked with largess, but these fans also know that Team Cash is on the wrong side of the development curve. You won’t get these fans to admit as much, but deep down it irks them that money alone may no longer guarantee regular season success.

Now some Yankee fans will surely quibble with my premise that the Yankees aren’t full participants in the league’s burgeoning youth movement. After all, Chien-Ming Wang is 26, Robby Cano is just 23 and Melky Cabrera is just 21. Each is young and each is contributing to a team that is competing for a division title. The prosecution will concede as much, but that is where the concessions end. Because unlike the defense, the prosecution in this case does not feel that any member of the aforementioned triumvirate is deserving of membership in the “Fredy Lynn Club,” named of course for the only man in my lifetime to have been awarded the MVP in his rookie season.

Lets take them one at a time and start with little Melky. Has Melky had his moments? Indeed he has. Does he project into anything more then a fourth outfielder? I’d say the answer is no. I will stipulate that its tough to say that with absolute certainty since he’s only 21, but at this time, Melky really doesn’t have a single plus tool and while he does put the ball in play, it is rarely with any sizzle. Yes, I realize he’ll grow, but seven extras in 150 at bats is a bit punk for a corner outfielder that hits .250 and doesn’t steal bases. Quite simply, Melky will never hit with the kind of power that the Yankees demand in a corner outfielder. Next!

Okay, picking on Melky was easy but what about Wang and Cano? Brian Cashman says these guys are untouchable and if Brian says so, these guys must be the real deal. Lets first consider Wang whose headline numbers read as follows: 8-3 with a 4.14 ERA and a WHIP around 1.3. Not bad for a twenty-six year old. Decent velocity. Decent sink. Some real good starts in the mix. What’s there not to like? Well, some may say I’m nitpicking, but where are the Ks? Just 36 whiffs in 104 innings? Wang, put your camera away and start dealing! One strikeout per every three innings is pretty meager for a guy who supposedly hits 95 on the gun. Also, Wang’s numbers completely fall off the table when he goes to the stretch. You think I’m kidding? How bout the fact that guys are hitting .333 off him with runners on base. Sure, Wang gets a lot of groundouts which is a positive, but at the end of the day, he allows too many balls to be put in play. His sink allows him to get away with some of this, but the fact that he can’t blow anyone out and tends to get hit when runners reach, cap his ceiling close to where he currently resides. Wang can get better, but the astute Yankee fan knows that the only time you would ever use Wang’s name in the same sentence as Scott Kazmir is when you say: “that Wang, he’s no Scott Kazmir!”

Finally we get to the jewel of the system. The golden boy who represents the Yankees new found commitment to youth. The man that “Brian the Brain” refused to trade away last year even though the pinstripes were locked in a tight race at the trade deadline. Of course I am talking about Robinson Cano, the slick hitting left-handed, left fielder who plays second base for the New York Yankees. How can I say anything negative about Roby Cano, the second year player who is hitting .325 with an OPS close to .800? It’s hard to argue against those numbers, but a little closer evaluation turns up some rather discouraging quirks in Cano’s game. For one, how does a guy hitting sixth or seventh in that lineup only have twenty-seven RBI? You really want the answer? Try these nightmares on for size. Cano is hitting just .227 with runners in scoring position and just .195 with runners in scoring position and two out. Hitting with the bases loaded is always a good spot to pile up RBI, but Robbie is just one for ten when coming up when the deck is stacked. Don’t get me wrong – I think Cano is a nice player. His hands are a bit questionable, but he can rake and probably deserves to hit higher in a lineup. But lets not kid ourselves. Robby Cano isn’t Jose Reyes and he isn’t Chase Utley. He’s a nice player but if he is the jewel of the system, its time for the system to mine somewhere else.

The moral to this story is this – the league is now being over-run by exciting young players who are already dominating. Reyes, Verlander, Liriano, Paplebon, Wright, Howard, Kazmir, Zumaya, Hernandez, Kemp, Bay. The balance of power is shifting, and will continue to shift to those teams that have scored big in development. Sure, the Yankees will still be able to paper over some of their weakness in this area by spending huge sums of cash. This winter, I’m sure Cashman, provided he still has a job, will swap out of Sheffield and into Carlos Lee. Then he’ll spin his magic and outbid everyone for Zito and Schmidt, preying that one or both will sign up to be the next Carol Pavano. Cashman can spend money like nobody else and I’m sure he will be out with hat in hand this winter. But what if he comes up empty. What if Zito decides to stay near his home in Southern California? What if Seattle blows Schmidt away? I’ll tell you what happens – the Yankees will go into 2007 one year older and one year closer to the end of the Mariano era.

Some Yankee fans recognize this and that is why they hate to discuss the new blood that is coming into the league. After all, the Yankees can’t poach “new” blood for six years and this just isn’t fair as far as Yankee fans are concerned. Hell, for all that luxury tax the Yankees pay, they should at least get first crack at the exciting kids – right? Wrong! The great equalizer in baseball is development, as the Yanks will soon find out. The way I see it, as more and more talent gets to the majors ready to dominate, the Yanks will suffer more and more since all this talent is beyond their reach. After all, you can’t steal talent that is bolted to the floor. The Yankee fan is just beginning to see that for the first time in a decade, the future is a just a bit cloudy and it could be fixing to rain. That is why the next time you hear some fan spout off about Mike Mussina’s great year, I suggest you bring up the fact that Joel Zumaya has been filthy. At the very least, the retort should buy you some peace and quiet.

April 6 - Insights from Indy

2006-04-06T10:39:00.000-07:00

The Holic is still recovering from three days on non-stop drinking in Indy but here are some thoughts on this past weekend at the Final Four:

It is indisputable – the Final Four is the greatest major sporting event to attend. Sorry NFL’ers – there is simply no comparison. The Super Bowl is for sponsors while the FF is for the kids and the fans. Sure, when they park the Super Bowl in a great city like New Orleans it can be a good ride, but when it comes to sheer excitement and festivity, nothing ranks up there with the Final Four. In fact, if I had to rank events to attend – and I have pretty much been to everything – I would put the FF on top followed by the Summer Olympics. After that, nothing is that appealing unless you have an iron in the fire. Full disclosure – I have never been to Augusta, game day at Notre Dame or Florida, or the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest. (Hot Dog contest is coming down this July and South Bend may come off the list when the Bruins head there in October). What makes the Final Four so great – well, you got chicks (both college-style and middle-aged FF whores), you got celebs, you got bands, and you get three games for the price of one. It also helps when the host is a town like Indy where all the hotels, bars and arena are located within a mile of one another. So fans out there – get on Expedia and start lining plans for next March. I know its in Atlanta, but even that sporting desert couldn’t mess up something that is so inherently good.

More thoughts on Indy:

Indy is the perfect spot to host this event and it should probably be named the permanent host, but lets make this clear – the Capitol of Indiana is an eye sore in the middle of Nowhere Ville. Unless you are a fan of coal-fired power plants, dilapidated houses and street punks roaming the streets late night, this is not a tourist destination. Now I was told I wasn’t exposed to the affluent northern suburbs, but from what I saw in my seventy-two hours, Indy is a Shit Hole – two parts shit, one part hole. If it were a chemical compound, its symbol would be S2H. The people were nice and the downtown was passable, spruced up by the fact that 35,000 fans were milling about, but this is not a city I would choose to adopt.

Celebrity sightings: Jim Calhoun, Roy Williams, Steve Alford, Bill Russell, Kareem, Bill Walton, Mike Warren (Hill Street Blues – UCLA), Lucious Allen, Ed O’Bannon, that autistic kid from upstate New York (2x), Jay Bilas, Rece Davis, Howie Schwab, Howard Garfinkel, Jim Harrick, Steve Lavin, Bill Frieder, Karl Dorrell, Damon Bailey.

Hooked up with a couple of gals on Sudnay night who meet each other once a year -- at the final four. As far as the Holic is concerned, that is pretty good stuff. Two gals whose priorities are above reproach. I am thinking about turning this lovely story into a near-X screenplay. How bout this as a story. A guy and gal have a great hook up at the 1997 Final Four and somehow they fail to accurately exchange info. Their only connection is that each knows the other attends the FF every year. With that said, they each attend every year in hopes of finding and rekindling that Wildcat love. Along the way, all sorts of wacky hijinx befall our duo. Ashley Judd was born to play the female lead. For the male - I am thinking about casting myself.

Points on the game: Florida obviously dominated the final, but lets tone down the comparisons between Joakim Noah and Pat Ewing. Look whom Noah was playing against on Monday night – Lorenzo Mata and Ryan Hollins aren’t quite James Worthy, Hakeem or Ed Pinkney. Had King James been out there sporting a Bruins jersey, I’ll bet my ass some of those blocks would have morphed into gator facials. Now I will be the first to admit that Noah dominated that game, but let’s calm down before we err and put this guy on the all-time FF team. From my seat, it looked like Corey Brewer was probably the best all-around gator on the floor this weekend.

Pet Peeve – fans of teams playing for championships talking about next year and dynasties instead of the game at hand. I heard a lot of talk Monday from UCLA fans talking about 2007 when the Bruins were still alive to win in 2006. Jesus Christ – a national championship is just forty minutes away and all people could talk about was next year. What is wrong with these people? Folks – we watch sports for the moment – not the future. Is this about people taking comfort in a secure future rather then focusing on the possibility of near-term disappointment? Whatever it is – I find it repulsive. And when I hear it, I know I’m talking to a phony and its time to move on.

Lets get into some baseball:

As I wrote to some friends last night – has a closer ever been replaced after throwing just fourteen pitches? In case you missed it, that is what happened in Texas last night when Keith Foulke was supplanted by Jon Pappelbon as the closer of the Red Sox. This came after Foulke got cooked on Monday afternoon while throwing fourteen pitches in semi-mop duty. I saw this coming all off-season, but I was surprised it happened before Manager Terry Francona let Foulke cost the Sox five games. By truncating the process, I think the Sox probably went from a 90 win team to a 94 win team – that is the difference between letting Foulke pitch until Memorial Day and sitting him down on day three. So this is the sox strategy – Let Paps close until Craig Hansen is ready to don his Huston Street costume in two months (Hansen threw 12 scoreless this Spring but was sent down to work on his change). Judging from how Paps took care of business last night, the Sox bullpen is already in much better shape then it was 365 days ago. With Beckett and Schilling looking strong in their first starts, I have no choice but to upgrade Boston from under-perform to neutral.

I didn’t get a chance to write this at the time the news broke, but here is my Gary Sheffield thesis: Sheff was angling for the Yanks to pick up that option early this Spring because he knew his name was going to be front and center when this book on steroids came out. Most assume that Sheff is a model of consistency, but check out his numbers over the past three years. 2004 was clearly inferior to 2003 and 2005 was marginally worse then 2004. Now, with his name squarely in the steroid bin, Sheff knows he will not get a free pass to that option. He will have to put up a year to earn that money and that may not be so easy without the help of a weekly ass shot. What Sheff has going for him is that even if his numbers continue to trend down in 2006, the Yanks will probably overpay him by $4 million rather then go with a non-name in right come 2007.

Wow – tough loss for the Yanks last night. The Yanks sure look good on paper with all that offense, but they may have the worst defense in all of baseball. With that right side and absolutely nothing at any outfield spot, the Yanks will have to offset a whole lot of unearned runs. They may have picked up fifty runs in the off-season with JD, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this team gives thirty of those runs back with poor defense.

March 28 - Way to go Dad! Nice Shot!

2006-03-28T11:40:00.000-08:00

Kudos go out this morning to my Dad who got off his ass and scored some nice tix to the Final Four this weekend. Although pressing 75, he saddled up like a giddy UCLA frosh, taking down travel and lodging before I had even begun scouring Expedia. Pops has had Bruin football and basketball ticks forever (football dates back to 82) and I guess this one wasn't going to pass him by without a look. I am now praying the Bruins win Saturday night because if the Bruins get knocked out, conversation could be a little thin come Monday afternoon. Thank god I got the Sox opener in Texas to kill that gap between lunch and gametime.

The Bruins are getting absolutely NO respect from the national media ahead of the Final Four and I love it. Yesterday on WFAN in New York, the Bruins were given no chance of taking two and this suits me just fine. The crux of the criticism is the Bruins play too ugly to win. Hey, I can’t really disagree with the first part of the premise, as I concede watching UCLA is about as tough as watching that new JL Dreyfus vehicle. That is a fact. But ugly offense didn’t stop the Ravens from winning a Super Bowl and it didn’t stop the Pistons from winning a NBA championship. The Bruins may lack style, but what they can do is lock-down their opponents and that could be a real headache for a team like LSU that also lacks elegance. If you don’t believe me, call Memphis 411 and get John Calipari’s number. Moreover, in case you haven’t watched LSU – here is their game plan. Clank jumpers and other errant runners and then go get it. True, Ty Thomas is an impressive athlete and Baby D is a load, but we aren’t talking Shaq and Chris Jackson. You keep Thomas off the rim and he becomes mediocre. You make Baby work and who knows what he becomes. Listen, I’m not sure Moute can keep Thomas off that glass but I know this for sure – Thomas won’t keep Moute off the glass on the other end. What I’m sure of is this is going to be an ugly game. It’s in a dome and neither team can shoot at home let alone in a cave. I say the team that shoots forty percent stands a pretty damn chance of winning.

Can the Red Sox and Devil Rays have a fight without a baseball game breaking out? I thought this was all supposed to end after Pedro split, but obviously I was mistaken. So the Sox bring in Julian Taverz and the first thing he does is blow his cool and belts Joey Gathright in the jaw during a meaningless spring training game. This guy is a certifiable nut job – always has been and I suspect the new scenery will only make things worse. Here my predictions on Taverez – I think he hits nine batters, gets tossed from three games, starts up with at least two teammates and goes after a fan outside a bar on Commonwealth. When it is all added up, Theo will be forced to put this guy on the market in July and pay some team to take this clown off Boston’s hands. Would somebody in the front office please keep Theo away from the middle relief signing line next off-season because he can’t help himself when it come to useless set-up guys.

Side note on the Red Sox-Rays – for some reason, Yankee fans like Fat Ass Farncesa, seem to think the Sox fighting rivalry is with them. NOT SO. When it comes to fighting, the big Sox rival is down in Tampa and has been since 2001 and the Pedro/Gerald Williams incident. Last year, it got ugly between these two teams at least twice down in Tampa, while the Sox-Yankees games resembled a game between choirboys. Of course, this could all change if the Yanks had some hurlers with balls, but that has never been a strong point of Mussina, and Carol can’t risk losing her back in a brawl. Here’s hoping Unit gets something going this year because I want the Sox to test drive Wily Mo and set him loose on whoever the Yanks want to sacrifice.

Tough day for former Republican power brokers. First, we see that Lyn Nofziger goes down and then Cap the Knife (Cap Weinberger) buys it. If I were Dave Stockman, I would take the afternoon off and steer clear of any industrial machinery.

Nice save by Jack last night. That was cutting it a bit close but what an assist from the new girl at station 6. Her dish on the gas pressure was instrumental is saving the Southland. By the way, do any Caltech engineering students look like that? Any? Ever? Shari, the gal in question, has got to be one of most flimsily cradfted character in show history. How bout that look and line after she was brushed? "He shouldn't have done that?" You know you got issues when Chloe thinks your a mess.

Mike Davis claimed Indiana was no place for either an outsider or a black so who do they go out and sign; a black outsider. I don’t have anything against Sampson and I think he has done a pretty good job at Oklahoma but given what Davis has said and what I think I know about Indiana, this seems like an odd hire. I don’t care what Hoosiers might say to the contrary – race matters in Bloomington. In that town, they don’t like cutters and they don’t like blacks. If that weren’t the case, Lavar Burton, and not the kid from Bad News Bears, would have been in Breaking Away. I am hoping Sampson can fix things at Indiana because I think college basketball is better off with a solid program down in Bloomington. Hey, I’ve had enough of Whiskey and Michigan State. Lets go back to the good old days where the Big-10 was about Michigan, Indiana and Ohio State. Ohio State is well on their way. Sampson will perhaps get Indiana straightened out. So that just leaves Michigan. Anyone see a moving sign outside of the Amaker’s home this morning?

How in the world can the NCAA Women’s Basketball Selection Committee justify an Eastern Regional final where number one duke has to play in Bridgeport against number 2 UCONN? Whatever happened to taking care of the top seeds? Did they not see this coming? How in the world can you send a one seed to play a game at what amounts to be the home gym of the number two seed? The Husky bitches sure caught a break on this one.

March 27 - "Mid-Major" - Lets Go to the Dictionary

2006-03-27T10:10:00.000-08:00

For the past three weeks, we have been hearing a familiar refrain from this country’s basketball pundocracy and it is driving me crazy. Guys, would you stop claiming that a “mid-major” hasn’t made it to the Final Four since the tournament was expanded to 64 teams. That simply is not the case unless you consider the old Pacific Coast Athletic Association or the Atlantic-10 to be major conferences. Lest you forget, Vegas made the Final Four in 1987, 1990 and 1991 while Massachusetts made the Final Four in 1996. Sure, these were big teams, but they hailed from conferences that were clearly not major. Case in point - How is that Pacific is now called a “mid-major” because of its conference affiliation yet Vegas, who played in the same conference (precursor) is not? Folks, an etymologist will tell you that “mid-major” was conceived as a term to distinguish the power conferences from the others. That is it! As such, it is permissible to have great teams from “mid-major” conferences but for some reason, current pundits don’t understand that .My only explanation is that the term, as currently applied by guys like Nantz, only covers those teams that come from lesser conferences and were “invited” to the tourney as opposed to those that got automatic bids. Without such latitude, there simply is no way to claim that UNLV was not a mid-major. Sorry guys – just because a team is a monster during the regular season doesn’t mean the conference it plays in is anything other then sub-major. So while George Mason’s performance to date has been terrific, lets not go over-board and start claiming that no one from a smaller conference has ever done this before. The only difference is that in prior years, big fish from small ponds moved on while this year, we had a little fish from a small pond beat the number one team in the country. Sure, there is a difference, but at the end of the day, none of the fish we are talking about came from big lakes.

Here is a great line from Venerable Verne yesterday. After concluding with his partner that this tournament has been the “best ever,” Verne slapped this on the tape: “it has been a privilege to be a part of it.” That’s funny, I can’t recall seeing Verne out on the court, pacing the sidelines or selecting the teams. Message to Verne: you are an announcer, which is only one very small step above viewer on the participation food chain.

That George Mason game was incredible yesterday and this comes from a guy who tries pretty hard to moderate his use of superlatives. I gotta admit – if it comes down to George Mason and UCLA next Monday, I will be a bit torn. I love this Mason team. They are feisty, balanced, gutty and now believe they can win. Who’s to say they can’t? Certainly not Jim Calhoun, who was surprisingly gracious after watching his incredibly over-hyped Huskies go down 36 hours later then they should have. Florida is dangerous but I think Mason actually has more skill then the Gators. Are you telling me that Yannick’s kid has more skill then Will Thomas? No fucking way. That tennis player can move, but in terms of basic ball skills, Thomas beats that Gator 6-2, 6-4. I actually like Mason in this game. I know most are now scurrying for position on the gator bandwagon, but I’ll play the contrarian for one more round.

UCLA set back basketball by fifty years on Saturday night. That wasn’t just ugly. It was downright disgusting and there are some who think Ben Howland should perhaps be tried under the Geneva Conventions. Basketball is supposed to flow and have at least some sense of rhythm but none of that was on display at the O-rena on Saturday night. Instead, we got some mugging, a whole lot of assault and a borderline rape. Hey, as a Bruin diehard, I’ll take it, but I will concede it lacked style points. My advice to Howland – hire an offensive coordinator in the off-season because it’s clear that you don’t have a clue how to design an offense that generates good shots. Having Jordan Farmar dribble out the clock and then rush a shot looks a lot more like a prayer than an offense to me. Farmar is simply not that kind of player and it’s BH’s fault for putting him consistently in positions that he can’t handle. He made just one shot on Saturday and that wasn’t much better then Thursday against Gonzaga. By the way, for those of you on the East Coast who don’t stay up late for UCLA Thursday night action, this is not the first time this season that the Bruins have struggled offensively. It’s been a grind all year, but hell, if the Ravens won without any offense, who’s to say this group of Bruins can’t do the same thing.

Where all those Big East megaphones? Eight teams in – Eight teams out! Two number ones – GONE! And instead, we have two teams from the SEC, one from the Little-10 and one from the Colonial – ain’t life grand? By the way, everyone is squawking about how great this tourney has been but no one is mentioning how the ratings are way off last year. WAY OFF! Its funny, when the Olympics turned up soft numbers, everyone said its because the product stinks but when everyone’s favorite doesn’t come through, the outcry is barely heard. One reason for the decline – the Big-10 had three teams in the final eight last year (Illinois, Wisky, Mich State) and none this year. It probably didn’t help that UNC and Kentucky, two followed teams, made the comparison to last year very difficult.

Who has worse teeth – Stephen Ames, who won this week’s TPC or Ed Bradley of CBS 60 Minutes? Ames should just knock those out and start from scratch while someone has to tell Ed he can’t go on the air without his fake bi-cuspid. It was a bit ironic that last night, you had Ed, who is missing a few key incisors, interviewing a guy who has more teeth than any human mouth can handle.

Jeff Bagwell now says his career might be over. That begs the question – is Jeff’s house the last stop on the Pony Express? The memo saying Bags was busted went out in 2004 so how come he is just getting the message now? Bags in the HOF? Very questionable, but if I had a vote, I would say no by a hair. JB had big power numbers while playing in a bad park for most of his career, but his Ks were high and most of his damage was done in this questionable era of elevated stats. 1994 is what makes it tough for me. Bags had a monster year going before the strike and that is a confounding factor. Regardless of whether he should go to Cooperstown, I sure wish Lou Gorman hadn’t traded Bags in 1990 for Larry Anderson.

New Rule – you trade can’t trade your 25th guy for the 25th guy on another baseball team. As such, if I were the commissioner of baseball, I wouldn’t let the Juan Cruz for Brad Halsey trade go through. Guys, why bother. Rule 5 is one thing, but lets do away with this other garbage. Why clutter the daily transaction wire with such pollution? Not even the desperate roto guys care about this crap. Curious enough, why is it that ESPN’s Buster Olney wasn’t out this morning with a long and detailed analysis of this blockbuster? Two possible reasons – 1) his mom died and he didn’t have the energy; 2) More likely, one team involved didn’t come from New England so there was no reason to lavish inordinate attention on the transaction. In case you couldn’t tell – Buster and I had words last week

So Alfonso Soriano is now a hero because he showed up and played left field? This kind of reminds me of that Chris Rock line where some fathers want kudos because they don’t beat their kids. Sorry Alfonso – you get nothing for showing up at work and doing what your manager says.

I have been struck over the past few days over how much affection Yankee fans still have for Alfie. ESPN was soliciting comments on this whole mess the other day and there were more then a handful of comments coming in from New York supporting Mr. Sensitive. Additionally, Buster Olney, whose Yankee credentials are impeccable, vigorously defended Soriano in a column last week, arguing the misunderstood two-bagger is a great guy who never should have been put in this spot. Lastly, a fair amount of the calls coming into WFAN over the past few days have been complimentary of Soriano as both a player and a person. Do we need to break down the numbers even further for this clan?

March 22 - Vinatieri Vacates While Nation Vents

2006-03-22T10:49:00.000-08:00

The story that has Patriot Nation talking this morning involves the departure of kicker Adam Vinatieri to the Indianapolis Colts. Lest you haven’t been paying attention, the Pats have had a very peculiar (some would say horrific) off-season where Super Bowl stalwarts Willie McGinest, David Givens, and Vinatieri were respectively jettisoned, abandoned, and discarded. The McGinest move was a bit tough to swallow since this is a guy who may someday have his face on Mt. Patsmore. Nonetheless, Willie had aged and therefore his release could be justified to all but the most sentimental. In the case of Givens, the Pats faced an entirely different set of facts. On one hand, the former seventh round pick had morphed into a very capable and clutch NFL receiver. But on the other hand, some in the league were overly-enamored with Givens and willing to pay him as if he had made a couple trips to Honolulu in recent years. While difficult to swallow, his departure could be justified under the auspices of fiscal prudence. But the case for Vinatieri’s departure seems more elusive. Here was a guy who has been absolute nails for this organization. Everyone knows about the snow game and the two Super Bowl clinchers, but there was more on AV’s resume. How bout the time in the 2003 playoffs when he nailed a super-clutch forty-yarder in arctic conditions against Tennessee? People forget that one but it was every bit as important as the one he nailed three weeks later in Houston. This guy’s importance to the Pats SB Trifecta cannot be minimized. He was Doctor Death in the eyes of opponents. The only difference between AV and Mariano Rivera is when V runs on the field, the loudspeakers don’t play Metalica

So what went wrong? Why was Vinatieri allowed to seek out greener pastures? Well, it seems like it all came down to money. The Pats are $20 Million under the cap and could have easily afforded to either franchise him or lock him up for three years. They chose to do neither and I believe they have made a mistake, and perhaps a very material one. Listen, AV has shown some wear of late. He is a bit short off the tee and there was that big miss in Denver to close out the season. I understand all of that but this is not a guy who was going to break the bank and the alternatives don’t seem all that appealing given the potential savings. After all, is two million a lot to spend for a hammer that can close out games, particularly in January? If you are undecided, why don’t you ask Herm Edwards or Tony Dungy that question since both were recently eliminated in playoff games decided by missed kicks. I hate to say this, but the Pats now run the risk of becoming the 1999 Red Sox where Rod Beck was asked to nail down games. Sorry guys, it didn’t work then and I am concerned that it won’t work for the Pats.

With Vinatieri now gone, there are many within Patriot nation whose faith in the Belichek regime has been shaken. “In Bill We Trust” has been replaced in some circles by “Is this Guy Losing It?” I think the answer may be somewhere in between. Listen, BB is obviously a sage, but I think his unwavering insistence on getting a market discount has come back to haunt the organization. While some have taken less money to stay (Vrabel, Bruschi, Brady), it seems that this regime’s conservative fiscal policy has rubbed some the wrong way. Moreover, it also appears to have scarred off some free agents who are not fond of laying money on the table. It strikes me that BB is a bit like a highly disciplined value investor (think Buffet), in that he has an idea in his mind of what fair value is and there is now way he is ever going to pay above that price. Well, you know what sometimes happens to investors like that – the market never hits their bid and they miss great opportunities by a matter of pennies. Discipline is one thing, but at some points in time, this organization must come to grips with the fact that it has to pay market prices once in a while. The Globe’s Mike Reiss echoed my thoughts this morning when he said, “I think there comes a point where you need a "statement" type of contract that shows you're not afraid to take care of deserving players and the Patriots could have done that with Vinatieri, a 10-year veteran who has made some of the most clutch kicks in team history.” It will be interesting to see how this all shakes out at Gillette. The Pats core is basically intact, a handful of key injuries have healed, the team still has a bunch of financial flexibility and a deep draft lies ahead. That being said, this is a club that has a few more holes today then it did when it walked off the field in Jacksonville thirteen months ago.

Quick Hits:

I gave Albany little shot at beating Connecticut last Friday, but for a brief moment there, I thought the Danes might have a little mojo working in their favor. Why the inclination? Well, on the day that former DePaul coach Ray Meyer passed, what would be more appropriate then having a number one seed lose in the NCAA tourney. Lest you have forgotten, Meyer once lost three consecutive opening round games in the NCAA tourney as a number one seed. The big difference is that when Meyer lost, the tourney was smaller and therefore DePaul lost its games after enjoying a first round bye. Regardless of this technicality, I will always remember Meyer for those three loses to UCLA, St. Joes and Boston College. In particular, that loss to St. Joes was an absolute stunner, as Jim Lynam’s Hawks knocked out a team with both Mark Aguirre and Terry Cummings. If a team like that could lose to a little school from Philly, who’s to say this UCONN team couldn’t have lost last Friday to Albany.

I find this story concerning Steve Alford interesting for two reasons. First, what did this guy do to turn off Indiana? 2) Why would he consider leaving Iowa for Missouri – that strikes me as a lateral (at best). With Alford out of the picture, who are the two guys under consideration for the job in Bloomington? Is Randy Whitman involved? Zeke? Beilein? This is a huge job and I am a bit surprised that the search has been kept under wraps and is already in the bottom of the seventh. .

Anyone notice that during the opening round of the tourney, we had the Bruins playing the Bruins and the Wildcats taking on the Wildcats? This week, we got a Huskies going up against the Huskies. Somebody needs to call the guys at Elias to see what the tourney record is for nickname on nickname crime.

Eighth and Ocean was very solid last night as one of the twins found out that here acne was ruining her modeling career. After being scolded for showing up at a casting for models with top-shelf complexions, the blotchey Sabrina absolutely broke down in an MTV instant classic.

We got a new Lost on tonight – curious to see if Fox reciprocates and someone from 24 shows up on the island tonight. Is it possible that President Palmer shows up as Walt’s real father? Nine Meyers jumps over from the Others and starts up with Sayid?

Do these numbers sound right – there is a AP story out of Iraq this morning chronicling an insurgent attack on a police station. Sixty gunmen attacked the station, the U.S. military responded and a two-hour firefight ensued. At the conclusion, four policemen were dead, five were wounded, fifty gunmen were captured but none of the insurgents were listed as killed or wounded. These numbers aren’t even remotely credible. Do they honestly expect me to believe that these guys fought each other for two hours, no insurgents were injured and then fifty of them gave up? What is this – paintball? Did we capture their flag? I realize that some stories coming out of Iraq are poorly reported, but much of blame lies at the feet of Iraqi and U.S. officials who can’t be relied upon to tell anything close to the truth.

Bronson Arroyo had a terrific exit interview with the Boston press corps the other day and I actually found myself a bit sad after re-reading the excerpts. In today’s day and age, where guys are bolting “disrespectful” organizations over a few million dollars, Arroyo truly wanted to stay in Boston and proved it by recently signing a below-market contract. So how did Boston repay Bronson? Well, Theo Epstein turned around and exiled his band-mate to red state hell. That is a bit like Van Halen trading David Lee Roth to a Christian rock band in Topeka, right after Roth turned down a gig to front Motley Crue. Despite the banishment, Bronson took the high-road on the way out of town and made no mention of being mistreated or disrespected by management. Clearly, Bronson didn’t read the same “How to Burn Bridges While Leaving Boston” book that guys like Johnny and Nomar have committed to memory. Both Bronson and D Lowe often drove me crazy when they were on the mound for the Sox, but each seemed like a good guy and each left Boston as professional. The same can’t be said for those other two clowns.

Staying with Arroyo, here is a money quote from an idiot who feels sorry for his old teammate. Likening Arroyo’s situation to his own, Johnny Damon said “I bought a house that I could not afford at the time in Boston because they said ‘We’re going to keep you. We’ll get something done real soon.” This supposed conversation occurred after the 2004 World Series, which was three years into Damon’s four-year/32M dollar contract. How can a guy who had just earned $24M, claim to have been hoodwinked into buying a house he couldn’t afford? What kind of house did he buy – the Kennedy’s Cape Compound? If I had a nickel for every idiotic thing this guy has said over the past year, I could go to the movies, snatch up a jumbo combo and still have money to cover the cab home.

Is it me or does it seem to be a stretch to guarantee $18.5 million for a guy who has registered just 21.5 sacks in five NFL seasons. I know the Hawks felt like a jilted lover and needed to go shopping after losing Steve Hutchison, but did they have to turn around that spend all that money on Julian Peterson? I know Peterson is a highly regarded player who has cover skills, but isn’t there a rule in the NFL that only linebackers who can rush the passer make big money? In Seattle’s defense, having Peterson play alongside Lofa Tatupu gives the Hawks an awful lot of speed in their second line of defense. They may be small, but those two are quick. With Peterson getting 18.5, what is Levar Arrington going to get? Better yet – what the hell is Richard Seymour going to pull out of the Pats? Now I know why the Pats have been quiet this off-season – they will have to fork over Brady money to extend Seymour. Ouch.

I may be in the minority here, but I don’t think the Jets got enough for John Abraham. It wasn’t exactly a seller’s market, but to only get the 29th pick for Abraham seems a bit lite. Hey, Abraham has trouble staying healthy and he is a bit of a pussy, but he can rush the passer. You don’t often find guys at 29 who can do that.

I am getting real tired of all these guys, particularly Fat Ass at WFAN, who pray at the altar of Alfonso Soriano. Sorry guys – his numbers are way exaggerated and here are some examples:

2004 2005
Road BA .244 .224
Road Slugging .444 .374
Road OPS .735 .639
BA Bases Empty .265 .292
BA RISP .253 .235
BA RISP/2Outs .210 .181

The moral to the story is you got a real selfish guy whose numbers were hugely inflated at Ameriquest and a guy who does little damage with runners on base. How can you pay $10 million dollars to a recalcitrant who hits under .200 in the money spot? Oh, for those of you who think this guy is Mr. October, here is the government’s case against: Soriano is a .233 post-season hitter with just four bombs and 14 runs scored in 154 plate appearances. The government rests.

March 21 - Sheff Being Sheff?

2006-03-21T09:27:00.000-08:00

With Terrell Owens temporarily satisfied down in Dallas, the current title of “most insufferable and selfish clown” in sports probably goes to a surly slugger named Gary Sheffield. This guy just won’t shut up. Just two weeks ago, Sheff unleashed a patented tirade when it became apparent that the Yanks had no interest in picking up his bloated 2007 option prior to the beginning of the season. It seems the Yanks would like to see just a little bit more from Gump before they pay him thirteen million dollars to play a season from now. Sheff was eventually mollified by some kind and constructive words from his third grade teacher – Brian Cashman - but the afterglow wore off this weekend when Gump complained that he never felt comfortable in New York because he is constantly being asked to prove himself. Poor Gary. First he self-negotiates a contract that is worth ten percent less then he was led to believe and then he is told that he actually may have to put in three solid years in order to get paid for a fourth. This guy just can’t catch a break.

Somebody with some sense and body armor has to pull this guy over and explain to him that $13 million dollar options don’t get routinely rubber-stamped for old guys whose numbers have declined the past two years. And in this case, the numbers don’t lie. In 2003, Sheff, having been roofed by Barry during the off-season before, had a monster year – hitting .330, with 39 bombs and an OPS (on base percentage plus slugging) over .1000. In 2004, the average came in 40 points, while his OPS sank by a dollar. Yankee apologists explained the correction by arguing all summer that Sheff was bothered by a shoulder problem, but that shoulder problem was supposedly fixed after the 2004 season and yet Sheff’s numbers came in once again during 2005. Sure, he still jacked 34 bombs in over 580 at bats, but he scored fewer runs, had fewer extras and his OPS fell under .900. The last time Sheff’s OPS was this low, he was playing in the spacious confines of Florida and Monica L was trying out presidential cigars. So that brings us to 2006. The bet here is Gary knows he is slowing and he is watching 2003 fade fast in the rearview window. The drugs that comforted his quads and shoulder are now outlawed and his lightening-quick hands are not quite as quick as they once were. On top of that, Gump now knows his option is in play and he is starting to perhaps press just a bit. After all, Sheff is just 2-24 this spring and it seems plausible that this insecure clown is just a bit concerned that he isn’t going to make it to the finish line where $13 million awaits. Instead, he may be re-routed to a separate line where the banner reads: WELCOME GUMP - how does 2/19M (4 deferred) with a team option for 2009 sound? Some Yankee locals completely dismiss such talk by plagiarizing Boston-speak and stressing Sheff is just being Sheff. When it comes time to play ball, this camp argues Sheff will hit. He always has and he always will, so the story goes. Well, I for one don’t think the story reads so well with the addendum on steroids and the new chapter on life after 37. I am still a couple of chapters from the end, but the story I am reading doesn’t feel like it’s going to have a warm and cuddly ending.

Some quick hits:

It must be that time of year – once again, the media can’t help itself from claiming that the upsets in this year’s NCAA tourney are somehow historically anomalous. Sorry guys – you are wrong. It’s all in the numbers. This year, we lost only six seeded teams in the opening two rounds, none of which were top seeds. As such, this was actually a fairly lite year as far as upsets go. If you don’t believe me, check your facts. Over the past twenty or so tourneys, we generally lose between six and eight seeds during the opening weekend. It was seven in 03 and 04, while it was eight last year. If you want carnage, go back to 2000 when nine seeds went down before the regionals. The same held true in 1990 and 1986. So lets save all the talk of how the tourney has changed so much over the years. Upsets have always been a part of this party. Sure, some new trends have seemingly increased parity in the game, but the tourney is still its same old self. .

Kudos to the Japanese for winning the WBC! It was probably the biggest win for Japanese baseball since those 13 year-olds beat the Bears in a sandlot at the end of BNB III. All you naysayers were wrong – this tourney had plenty of juice and it is probably here to stay. I actually am a bit disappointed the Cubans didn’t win. Such a win would have triggered an earthquake in South Florida and nothing pleases me more then seeing those jerkoffs foam at the mouth. But I am wondering – with the score 10-6 in the ninth, how come the Cubans didn’t let the Beard pinch hit. Talk about a big moment that people would be discussing around the water cooler this morning. “You see Castro lean out and slap that two-strike change to left? I gotta hand it to that old son-of-a-bitch, he is one tough out!”

Can BH Kim get anyone out in the ninth inning? Anyone at all? First it was the Yankees in 2001. Then it was the rest of major league baseball and now the Japanese. Who’s next? The North Koreans in a friendly game in the DMZ? I can hear it now: “here’s the pitch from Kim. Roh drills a long fly ball to left, back, back, its in the mine field, Home Run North Korea and with that the North Koreans have won the right to join the world’s nuclear club.” With his stellar track record, I wouldn’t let Kim close out the Pizza Hut celebrity slow pitch game, let alone a hardball game that meant something.

What is the NCAA doing hosting a Women’s Basketball Regional in Bridgeport Connecticut? Was the armory in Fall River taken next weekend? How bout the VFW Hall in Scranton? Am I missing something here? Perhaps there is a big lesbian community in Bridgeport that I don’t know about? If not, how did BP steal this show away from beautiful Hartford?

We have had a great little run in 24 the past few weeks. Lot of deaths at CTU, including two of my personal favorites, Tony Almeida and Edgar Stiles, but the show has pressed on like an aging champion not quite ready to hang them up. Listen, this show jumped the shark at least a season ago, but I am still there every Monday night. I do like the fact that Desmond from Lost made an appearance last night. So that’s where he ran off to – the German intelligence service. He has got to be furious at the move Jack pulled. Can you even program a memory chip to self-destruct? Is that a new Toshiba offering? Come to think of it, I have so much to say on this episode of 24 that I may bring back my Nina Meyers blog.

Staying on TV for a minute – check out the new MTV show 8th and Ocean (Tuesday’s at 10:30). If you like Laguna Beach, you’ll love Ocho and Playa. The recipe – how models struggle with their beauty in a shared apartment down in South Beach. With those ingredients, it’s a slam-dunk. Last week, we had one of the girls attend a meeting hosted by an organization called, Models for God. I think tonight we get the episode where one gal is told that her acne may get in the way of a successful career in front of the camera. This could go directly into the MTV Hall of Fame. Kudos to creator Liz Gateley for coming up with another blockbuster that satisfies my thirst to re-live my early twenties.

Worst thing about the NCAA Tourney: No Survivor for three weeks. We’re at the merge folks – its time to start paying attention. My early money is on Sally, although Terry will be tough to take out. For my long shot, I’ll go with Shane. He’s a good athelete who seems to be in deep trouble but I can see him flipping the game. And he’s a certifiable psycho and its about time one of those gets into the winners circle.

I like this preview for the new Fox show – Unanimous. People stuck down in a bunker and they can’t get out until they all agree to give one person a bounty of loot. This has potential.

How can the Miami Dolphins be in on every major free agent on the market? The last time I checked, the Dolphins had minimal cap room to play with, yet everywhere I look, the fish are pursuing high-end free agents. Julian Peterson, Kerry Collins, Levar Arrington, Ty Law – the beat goes on. How is this possible, particularly after the Fish have already spent a considerable amount of money this off-season? Is it possible that the Fish have become the AFC version of the Washington Redskins? Perhaps the Dolphins, buoyed by their strong finish, think their future is now and its time to go for it. Well, if that is the case, why did the Dolphins trade for a QB who may not be ready in 2006? I guess this is what happens when you hire a GM whose resume is highlighted by a stint with the Saints and a stint in Bristol where he was often asked to share his thoughts on fantasy football. I wonder if Saban ever calls up his friend in New England and asks: “how do I get one of those Scott Pioli’s?”

It went un-reported, but Bode Miller actually won the final Super-G of the World Cup season last Friday. This isn’t exactly timely, but this scribe thinks Bode was unfairly buried at the Olympics by a media corps that has no idea what the sport of skiing is all about. Is Bode a clown? YES! Does he sometimes say idiotic things? ABSOLUTELY! Is he a disgrace and a choke artist? No way! First of all, Miller has been skiing on a bad knee all year. Secondly, this is a guy who won the biggest title in ALL of skiing in 2005 – the FIS World Cup Combined. That is the top of the sport. PERIOD. The Olympics is big, but this guy had already won the Super Bowl. Ask any skier what they would prefer and 98 out of 100 will say the WC Combined over an Olympic gold. Sure, Miller had a disappointing Olympics, but that doesn’t mask the fact that he has enjoyed incredible success in his sport. Sorry to disappoint, but this guy is the most accomplished skier in U.S. History, and that was before this ski season kicked off last November in Lake Louise. Like Soccer, Tennis and Road Cycling, the biggest win in Skiing does not come at the Olympics but the press corps lost track of that fact when it conflicted with their anti-Miller headlines. It is too bad because as Miller showed last Friday, he is still at the top of his sport, even on one bad knee.

Whatever happened to Donyell Marshall? I was checking out some stats the other day and stumbled upon these: In 26 MPG, Donyell is averaging just nine points a game on THIRTY-EIGHT percent shooting. When did Donyell get his advanced degree in masonry? 38%? If he finishes cold, Marshall could end the season with a lower number then the President. And if that number doesn’t shock you, try this one on for size. This month, Donyell is averaging under five a game while playing 20 mpg’s. Could this guy still start for his alma matter? Is it possible that fellow Husky Cliff Robinson might outlast Marshall in the NBA?

Anyone notice that Darko has a pulse down in Orlando. I wouldn’t go crazy just yet, but DM has blocked 16 shots in his last four games for the Magic. This just may turn out to be a good deal for the magic.

The Holic is praying that Frank Robinson does something dramatic to punish Alfonso Soriano - the latest in a series of ass-clowns exported from Texas to Washington D.C. Soriano, this week, lived up to his selfish word when he refused to take up position in left field. It seems the kid who embarrasses himself everyday at second is just a bit concerned that his play in left will end up looking like a SNL skit gone awry. I haven’t seen balls this big since I caught a Peter North film last month. Anyways, regardless of what he might say about embarrassing himself, Soriano won’t budge because he doesn’t want to hit free agency next year as an outfielder where his over-hyped offensive skills might be less appreciated and less rewarded. In other words, he thinks his payday will come as a two-bagger and hell if he is going to move for anyone. That’s the spirit Alfie. Way to highlight your arrogance and stellar character on the eve of free agency. Who in the Capitol is advising this guy – somebody from the Vice President’s Office?

In light of Soriano’s intransigence, Robinson is considering “disqualifying” him, meaning he won’t get paid and he won’t accrue MLB service time. Such a designation would keep Soriano from becoming a free agent next year and perhaps make him the early favorite to win the 2008 Comeback Player of the Year Award. Now a DQ is unlikely to come to fruition, but with the stubborn Robinson, anything is possible, and I, for one, am rooting for the Robby-Style DQ. As for Soriano, I am not so sure he will get his payday as either an outfielder or second baseman, AS is a guy who was completely exposed in the 2003 ALCS and hasn’t been the same since. Check it out – in 2004, his OPS was just .735 away from the driving range in Arlington. Last year, his road OPS was a Belhorn-esque .640. This is a guy who slugged nearly 300 points higher at his comfy home then on the road. Guys, he is a creature of home cooking. You put him in a normal park, let alone a cavern like RFK, and he hits .260 and slugs .450. Not bad, but nothing close to the numbers he produced before pitchers found out he will chase anything in the park – except lazy fly balls hit to him out in left field.

Here were my initial thoughts on the trade yesterday that brought the Sox Wily Mo Pena for Bronson Arroyo: “This Arroyo trade is Asinine! Hey BA ain’t much, but he’ll give you innings and a load of quality starts. Last year, I thought I was being generous when I called Willie Mo the ‘worst prospect in baseball.’ Here is the money stat – Pena’s OPS outside of Cincy last year was .707. For some reason, it was also very low at night, which could be a problem in this era where most games tend to start after the sun goes down. So basically the Sox traded a guy who will give you 200 innings and 20 quality starts for a guy who struck out 116 times in 331 plate appearances, can’t hit on the road or after 7:30 P.M. You talk about a specialty player, Pena was brought in to face lefties on Patriots Day and Sunday’s – provided Boston isn’t playing in the ESPN night game.” Well, eighteen hours later, I have tempered my disgust as it now occurs to me that this guy does hit lefties and with Beddard, Kazmir, Lilly, Johnson, Chacin, and Ryan in the East, a lefty killer is not such a bad thing. Moreover, the guy supposedly had a nice winter and its possible that with some more seasoning, Wily Mo could become a player and cheap insurance in the event that Trot Nixon breaks down again or splits after the season. Nonetheless, I still believe the Sox erred by trading Arroyo when they did. This guy is a valuable chip that will become more valuable the moment another contender losses a starting pitcher. Had the Sox waited a few weeks, I believe Arroyo could have fetched more. And with it now looking like Mike Lowell will be a debacle at third, it strikes me that the Sox will need a right-handed third or first baseman in the not so distant future. As such, I would have held on to Arroyo until Lowell had been diagnosed and the market for pitching heated up.

It dawned on me yesterday that the New York Knicks this summer will probably have to write out a giant check to make this Larry Brown-Starbury problem go away. It has gotten to the point where one recalcitrant must go and the only way out, as I see it, is through a buyout. So what’s the damage? Well, in Starbury’s case, the Knicks are on the hook for $60 million with little chance for negotiation. In Brown’s case, they owe $40 million, but I am sure that is negotiable since even Brown would have trouble accepting such a large payout for just one year of work. Some might argue there is a third option – trading Starbury – but I don’t see that as remotely credible. The reason: there is not a team in the league that has enough bad contracts on hand to exchange with the Knicks. The problem here is Marbury’s contract is just horrific, even by NBA standards. Believe me – I checked. Kenyon Martin – not even close. Rahim – sorry guys, he no longer makes big money. Brian Grant – in the same ballpark, but his contract is expiring so the Lakers aren’t going to waste that asset on Stephon. I guess the Knicks could do something with Golden State for Baron Davis and Adonal Foyle, or with Philly for Allen Iverson, but why would either want the now disgraced Starbury? And beyond these deals, there really aren’t a whole lot of other options. Now, I am sure Larry Brown would be receptive to a Iverson deal, but could Philly GM Billy King keep his job if he made that trade? I think he would love to dump Iverson, but getting Marbury in return does little to improve his stock. Simply put, it is a shit show at the Garden and the only way out, as I see it, is via a certified check to one of the two stooges.

The Holic Returns

2006-03-13T05:51:00.000-08:00

Its been a while, but the Holic found some inspiration last night and decided to get a bit off his chest. Coming off a seven month layoff, the Holic is a bit rusty, but here goes.

Last year, I made a point of lampooning those who rely too heavily on the terms “bubble,” “Sweet Sixteen” and “Elite Eight” when discussing the NCAA tourney. The Holic’s thesis was these clichés had dumbed down tourney talk over the years and discourse should return to the glory days when teams advanced to regionals and regional finals. Well this year, I am going to take it one step forward and declare war on those who haphazardly throw around the word “run.” Lets get this straight – doesn’t the word “run,” when used as a noun, imply the traveling of some distance? After all, isn’t it a bit disingenuous to trot around the block and then tell a friend you got up early this morning and went for a “run?” The same theory applies in the gaming world. How can you possibly claim to have gone on a run in Blackjack when you won just two or three hands? You can’t and that is why most tired gambling stories don’t rely on the term unless a truly material winning streak came to fruition. So this begs the question: there seems to be some minimum standard used when “run” is applied as a noun in other settings, but how come this standard is thrown out the door when we are discussing the NCAAs? Sorry guys, UW-Milwaukee won two games last year – THAT IS NOT A RUN! UAB won two games in 2004 as a nine seed – again – NOT A RUN. Butler, a twelve seed in 2003, also won two games. Sorry guys - not a run. All three of these mislabeled “runs” were real nice opening weekends, but nothing more. Lets clean it up guys. In the future, lets try to be a bit more compliant with the terms and parameters of the English language. As such, I am proposing a new rule. From here on out, there is no using the term “run” for any top-24 team that doesn’t win a regional final. Secondly, I’ll bend on the lower-seeds and allow that “run” can be used to describe those teams that win three games and go down valiantly in game four. But be careful, I don’t want to hear someone a year from now talk in glowing terms about Wilmington’s great ‘run” when they got blown out by 37 in a regional final to Texas.

While we are tightening up our tourney talk, lets also do away with some of those old-age axioms that are supposed to predict and dictate tourney success. Lets see, according to conventional wisdom, a championship tourney team must have “senior leadership,” great backcourt play, a dominant big man, and be battle tested against a tough schedule. Sorry guys – there is no such thing as a full-proof axiom so lets just put these little babies in the drawer. Just in case you want some evidence before you vote to indict, I submit that UNC won last year without any seniors, UCONN won in 2004 with TALIK BROWN running the show, and Arizona won in 1997 with nothing up front. Sure, it helps having each of these ingredients, but history has shown that none is required to make the dish work.

Lets move on to some hoops and the selections:

With regard to the seeding, no real complaints from this dog: Sure, Tennessee is seeded too high and Hofstra probably deserved to go ahead of George Mason, but why should I be broken up that Florida State didn’t get in? I thought Jim and Billy really mounted a poor argument last night when they went after the committee for not giving the power conferences a couple more bids. Nantz, in particular, was armed with mountains of data, all of which was misapplied. His basic thesis was if you look at the ACC over the past five years, they have won a ton of tourney games and three titles. With such a record, how can Maryland or Florida State be passed over for George Mason or Bradley? What Jimbo failed to disclose is those games were largely won by the ACC’s big boys and not the doormats that got in late because their older brothers were allowed to bring a guest. The issue is not whether the ACC’s big boys should be invited - it’s whether or not to invite the kid brother. Is Maryland better then Air Force? Sure it is and the bet here is Florida State would probably take 7 out of 10 from Bradley. But at the end of the day, does it really matter who gets those final spots? The last couple at-large bids can sometime stir up a little commotion, but I can’t recall a double-digit seed going to the final four since LSU in 1986. The morale to this story is neither FSU or Maryland had very good years, neither had good schedules (FSU’s was terrible) and neither picked up the big conference tourney game it needed.

Some initial thoughts and observations:

I would love to see a UNCW v. Duke match up in round two. I can’t say I watched a whole lot of Colonial hoops this year, but I did watch the conference final and Wilmington can play. They got some size and their wing guys can shoot. I’m not looking forward to that Whiskey/Zona game at all – probably the two coldest at-large teams in the tourney right now. The bet here is Lute can't wait for this season to end and his cats play like dogs. Syracuse has a bit of mojo working right now, but I hate that second round match-up against LSU. If one five-seed must fall, Syracuse is probably the safest bet, but I actually think this might be the year the 5-12 jinx may be broken. As for first round upsets of seeded teams, I think Winthrop or South Alabama could perhaps put a blemish on one of those two SEC paper tigers.

I tend to agree with those pundits who argue that Minneapolis is the toughest region in this year’s tourney. I know Ohio State lost yesterday, but they strike me as the best two seed and I like BC a bunch in that four hole. On the flip side, Oakland appears to be the weakest bracket as Zaga is a mark, and both UCLA and Memphis came out of terrible conferences. My final four – I’ll take Texas, UCLA, UCONN and Ohio State. Side note on the UCLA homer pick – the last time the Bruins went to the Final Four – 1995 – they went through Oakland.

Who had a tougher month: Michigan Basketball or the Bush Administration? Before you answer, here are the facts. Since February 1, the Big Blue lost seven of nine, including a thirty pointer at Iowa, a 14 pointer at Division III Purdue, a 12 pointer at home against the headless Hoosiers and must have against Minnesota in the Big-11 conference tourney. At what point do we have to close the book on the Tommy Amaker experiment? Kids, it has been five years since the golden child was brought to Ann Arbor and he still hasn’t rung the register. Listen, in his defense, Amaker inherited a bag of shit, but five years is enough time to raise the dead and in this instance, the corpse still isn’t twitching. If I were the powers that be at Michigan, I would can TA and then fly down to Morgantown and scoop up John Beilien. Either that or bring back Roy Tarpley to coach.

In light of the Amaker debacle, I am starting to think the last thing any Duke fan should ever want is a Christmas present that says Johnny Dawkins is the new head basketball coach in Durham. Before any of you pogo hopping zealots chime in, lets first take a look at the Coach K dysfunctional coaching tree. Why don’t we start out in Missouri where a guy named Quin Snyder was run out of town for murdering an innocent and respectable program. Snyder didn’t just lose – he brought in a kid - Ricky Clemons - who slept with the chancellor’s wife. Moving on, we have Mike Brey up at Notre Dame who has quietly put together a three-year tourney drought in South Bend. What’s his excuse – the admission standards are too tough? Sorry Mike – Torrin Francis is on your watch. Not convinced? How bout Dave Henderson, the sixth man on Duke’s first NCAA Final Four team under K. He coaches at Delaware, where his Blue Hens were a blistering 9-21 this year. Things are only a bit better down at VCU where Duke grad Jeff Capel guided the Rams to a respectable sixth place showing in the Colonial Conference. With a coaching tree like this, Devil fans have to be just a bit concerned about the prospect that JD, or someone else from within the family, will someday be given the keys to the Cameron Caddy.

Caught a good kid’s flick yesterday called Miracle Dogs. It’s a fine tribute to the Springer Spaniel, a fine breed that has moved into my top-8 over the past year. Top-4 remain the Berner, the Newf, the Pyr and the 15-inch beagle but the Spaniel is right there nipping at the beagle. Also caught Open Water on Showtime the other night. It was better in the theatre, but I strongly recommend it. Made for just 50K, OW contains good suspense and a totally gratuitous full-frontal female nude shot. Some of the dialogue is a bit contrived, but it is well acted and the female lead (Blanchard Ryan) is a top-shelf cougar. By the way – her dad once ran the Flyers. And speaking of pucks, Slap Shot has been getting a run on Showtime this month. Not only is SS one of the most under-appreciated sports films of all-time, but it never got its due against the big comedies of the late 70’s. It might fall a bit short of Animal House and The Jerk, but I’ll take it over Stripes any day of the week.

The Holic wants to know who is the gal that sits next to Tyler Hansborugh’s father at every UNC game? Two questions: 1) Is she Tyler’s mom, girlfriend or sister; and, 2) Are those bombs real? If she is indeed his mom, the guys at MILF Hunter.com need to check on her availability. The bet here is there probably isn’t a guy on the UNC team that hasn’t had impure thoughts about Tyler’s whatever. Come to think of it, there probably isn’t a gal on UNC’s top-ranked women’s team that hasn’t either.

Next year, BC coach Al Skinner must recruit some kid named Hall because there is no way Forward John Oates should be allowed to graduate without some kind of band reunion. Speaking of names, my nickname for Georgetown forward Jeff Greene is The Agent. Not too obscure a reference so only a single point for the correct answer.

Speaking of nicknames – I am ascribing Go-Go to my boy Ryan Gomes up in Boston. The original Go-Go, was of course Ricky Gomez, the 8th man on Carver High’s White Shadow team, but Gomes is on a tear and nickname fits. In case you haven’t been watching, and it’s a fair assumption none of you have, Gomes has had a terrific month for the suddenly virile Celts. He had a double- double last night and for the month, he’s averaging 17 points and just under 8 boards per game. At this point, Go-Go is definitely the round two rookie of the year, although he looks like a long-shot to make the league’s all-rookie team unless his numbers accelerate from here.

I guess the World Baseball Classic is no big thing because if it were - there is no way Gayrod would have come through with yesterday’s big game winning hit. Count me among the small group who actually likes the WBC. I don’t really buy the injury thesis, the games have some juice, and I like running counter to the America-centric lemmings like Georgie S. I want the WBC to succeed but here is my Catch-22. If someone gets hurt, the naysayers will go crazy and, as a result, the WBC concept will be weakened. But, if some pitcher blows out his arm, it could serve as the catalyst Boston needs to shed Matt Clement. Call it Clement-22.

Has the statute of limitations on speaking ill of Kirby Puckett expired yet? Pucks was a hit machine on and off the field and because of the latter, he deserves little post-mortem reverence. Cheating on your wife is one thing – going Jack Nicholson and pursuing her with a chainsaw is another. Kudos to ESPN’s Colin Cowherd for slamming KP on a day when every baseball pundit in this country was suffering from either cowardice or selective amnesia.

Breaking news - John Cheney is poised to announce his retirement this morning. Its about time this nutjob hung them up. Prediction - today's eulogies (he didn't die -just retiring) will surely stress that Cheney was a great guy who did a ton for his kids. Save it - the guy was an insufferable clown. I've been short Cheney for years and don't see a reason to cover this morning. I'll have more on this later.

How can a year go by without the Washington Redskins going out and over-paying for a free agent wide receiver? Message to Dan Snyder – just because Antwan Randel El threw a TD pass in the Super Bowl doesn’t mean you have to pay him like a quarterback. $11.5 million guaranteed for the Arab Hoosier (Same as Edgerrin James got)? Are you serious? That isn’t a far cry from what Mushin Muhammad got last year and he was coming off a first team All-Pro year. This is the second year in a row where Washington chased a wide receiver off a Super Bowl champ – last year it was David Patten who got the big coin and he thanked Six Flags Snyder by producing twenty-two grabs in an injury-shortened season.

Well, I guess when you haven’t had a thousand yard rusher since Adrian Murrell in 1998; you should probably grab an elite back when he becomes available. That is just what the Arizona Cardinals did this weekend when they inked The Edge to a four-year deal. With two big receivers and James, it seems like Denny Green is trying to re-assemble the Colts out in the Desert. All they need now is to dump Warner and find a QB who truly wilts in big spots. How bout Gayrod?

The guys behind the Sopranos have some set of balls to make us wait two years for that crap. In the history of television, has anyone been less credible doing the “I’ve been shot and need 911” scene? On the bright side, I did like Christopher’s joke on how ironic it was that Lou Gehrig died from Lou Gehrig’s disease. An oldie, but certainly a goodie.

Aug 17 - Millar and Kay Crap Out Once Again

2005-08-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

The guy is slugging just .286 on the road and .267 against lefties – so why did Terry Francona start Kevin Millar last night against Nate Robertson at Comerica? I guess loyalty trumps sabremetrics in Tito’s version of Moneyball. So how did Millar reward Tito's loyalty last night? Well, he went hitless and made an error. Tito, loyalty is one thing but this is getting downright ridiculous.

Michael Kay had a classic Kayism last night at the end of the Yankee debacle down in Tampa. As Scott Proctor was walking in the winning run, Kay went out with this doozy: ”And that will bring in the winning run, giving Tampa a big win, FOR THEM . . . “ For them? How much more condescending can Kay get? Sure, it last night was a nice win for Lou’s losers, but beating the Yanks has been fairly routine for Tampa this year (eight up and only four down). Such talk has become the norm for Kay who never misses an opportunity to patronize the rest of the league. The next time Mike puts down Tampa, he should remember that he happens to host a talkshow on a station that is basically the Tampa Bay Devil Rays of sports radio in New York. In fact, I’ll take Tampa after the all-star break (16-8) over Michael’s putrid ratings at 1050 ESPN.

I listened to Mo Rivera’s post-game Q&A last night and it just confirmed that this is just about the most classy guy in baseball. I don’t make a habit of complimenting Yankees too often, but I’ll make a special exception for Mo. This is a humble and dignified guy who never makes excuses. NEVER! You hear that Randi – NEVER. He is a straight shooter who admits to his mistakes and rarely seeks the spotlight. Mo is the only Yankee who I truly wish played for the Sox, and that has nothing to do with the fact that the Sox bullpen has more holes in it than the Iraqi Constitution.

With Curt Schilling auditioning as a pitchman for Exxon’s new high-octane fuel, isn’t it about time the Sox consider taking a shot with one of the long lost Hansen brothers? Craig has been unhittable over a small sample at Portland, (another scoreless outing last night), and perhaps its time to take the first round pick out for a test drive. I realize the Sox don’t want to screw with his confidence and pitching in the AL EAST is a lot different than pitching in the Big East, but all reports indicate that this guy could help out this year. A friend of mine has scouted Hansen on several occasions and says he has a better slider then anyone who pitches for Boston at the big league level. If that is the case and Schilling continues to struggle, I think Hansen should get a chance. Who knows, he just may turn out to be the next Huston Street or Chad Cordero.

Aug 15 - Clemens and Gibson (Bob, not Debbie)

2005-08-15T13:47:00.000-07:00

Here are some blasts to get things started:The White Sox should go out and get Ken Griffey, particularly if they feel Dustin Hermanson will be healthy when the playoffs come around. This club is close, particularly if Dusty is healthy, but they need a difference-maker like Griffey to make them legitimate contenders. One word of caution to White Sox fans – Jon Garland is not a big-time pitcher. He was brutal on Saturday night and if I am running that team, he is the fourth guy I go to in a playoff series.

Pedro pitched great yesterday but he looks like he is tiring. His velocity is way down and it looks like he could benefit fro a missed start. When you look at Pedro’s splits, it is pretty hard to believe that he is 12-5 with an ERA approaching three. His splits are more reflective of a resume that includes a record of 15-3 and an ERA under 2.50.

Congratulations to Phil Mickelson who won a battle of attrition out there at Baltrussol this weekend. I was out there on Friday and it was hotter than ass. Saturday was worse and Sunday was no better. Phil looked like he was going to collapse on Sunday, but he pulled it together just as the lug nuts were loosening and the wheels were poised to come off. I am not sure if he would have won had the tourney not been postponed but you have to give the guy credit for making that four on eighteen this morning. With two majors now on his resume, Phil is closing in on the day where he could retire without having to justify a unfulfilled career. However, a third major is still probably needed to ensure that Phil is not perceived as this generation's Johnny Miller.

I am already picking Phil to win the Open next June. The reason: for some reason. Phil is adored by New Yorkers and plays great in front of these fans. That will come in handy next June when the Open will be played at Winged Foot. Look at his recent record in the New York area. He got second at the 2002 Open at Bethpage, he was second at Shinecock last year and he won this week. Based on this record, it is clear that Phil plays better in this area than either the Knicks or the Giants.

While I have not been enamored with Roger Clemens since the 1990 ALCS, I think it is worth noting that he is having one of the more remarkable seasons in MLB history. The guy is 43 and sports on ERA of just 1.32 after blanking the Bucs through eight on Saturday. And just look at some of these splits. His batting average against is just .186, he is still fanning more than eight guys per nine innings and opponents are slugging less then .300 against him at the Juice Box in Houston. These are some of the sickest stats ever recorded in the National League and they rank right up there with the numbers Rocket amassed in Toronto and Pedro racked in Boston. I, for one, hope Rocket keeps it up because a complete year of this will hopefully knock Bob Gibson’s 1968 season off its over-hyped pedestal. When it comes to assessing great years in pitching, people are too quick to point out Gibson’s 1968 season as one of the best ever. The evidence appears compelling on its face as Gibson won 22 games that year while chalking up an ERA of 1.12. That is a miniscule number, but people tend to forget that 1968 was the year that offense went on strike. Nobody hit that year (Yaz led the AL with an average of .301) and as a result, the National League average ERA was a paltry 2.90. If you fast-forward thirty years, that league-AVERAGE would have challenged for the league’s ERA title. Everyone agrees that Gibson’s 1968 was fantastic, but lets get serious – it came during a deadball year and it came in a cavernous stadium. Clemens, on the other hand, is doing his thing during an offensive era and while playing half his games at a park whose dimensions resemble those of a ballpark in Williamsburg. Sorry Cardinal fans – your guy has to take a back seat on this one. Come to think of it, two of your guys have to take back seats on this because if the season ended today, I would take Clemens by a hair over Carpenter for league Cy Young.

Yankee propagandist Michael Kay had another tough afternoon on Sunday, as he spent a good ninety seconds on the subject of why free-agent-to-be Shawn Chacon stumbled into a great situation with the Yanks. According to Kay, and this really shouldn’t come as a surprise given the source, Chacon is now in an ideal situation with the Yanks because YINC is a phenomenal organization that lies at the nexus of the baseball world. In other words, playing for New York allows Chacon to pitch in front of all those scouts and front office types who never would have caught his act out in Denver. This thesis, if it were true, could be relevant to a free agent, but the problem here is Chacon is not eligible for free agency. He is still arbitration eligible meaning that if the Yankees tender him, he will be in Pinstripes next year. That sounds more like a prisoner of war then a free agent to this scribe. When Kay was informed that he had made a mistake, he murmured a half-hearted correction under his breathe. I guess this is just another instance of Michael being Michael.

Sox Box – You know you are hot when even the weather is cutting your way, as it did yesterday for the Red Sox. Boston pitcher Matt Clement was getting cracked in the 4th yesterday at Fenway and with the JV playing, it didn’t look like the Sox were going to be able to keep that impressive home winning streak alive. So what happens? Well, a massive storm moved in and clobbered the city for a period long enough for the Red Sox to secure a postponement. Sorry Boston haters – the game was scrubbed and when it resumes – if it ever resumes - it will be 0-0 in the top of the first and not 5-2 in the 4th. While Mother Nature succeeded in shutting the door on the White Sox, the same could not be said for Matt Clement. In many ways, this guy reminds me of Derrick Lowe. They are both fine when things are rolling along, but the second things go awry, each tends to crumble. Clement, in particular, seems particularly susceptible to the two-out rally and if he doesn’t cover home the next time he throws a 57 foot slider with a man on third, my television may need replacing. The Sox may have an interesting decision to make next week when John Olerud is due to come off the bench. The problem lies with the discovery that his replacement – Roberto Petagine – has a major league stick. Granted, Roberto can’t catch, but his bat has been impressive. If either Roberto or Olerud were right-handed, Kevin Millar would be busy packing, but since both are lefties, it will be impossible to keep both on the 25-man roster. My guess is Francona likes Olerud’s glove late in the game and therefore Petegine will head back down to Pawtucket until the rosters are expanded on September 1st. My boy Annibal Sanchez got clocked down in Portland on Friday, giving up four runs on four bombs over six innings. Somebody should tell him that it isn’t nice to mock Curt Schilling like that. While Sanchez finally got cracked, Jon Lester was solid in his last start out (Thursday) and Craig Hansen has pitched three scoreless since being called up to Portland. Word out of Portland is Craig tapes his glove hand up with tin foil just as his brothers did for the Chiefs in Slap Shot. I know Johnny Damon is having a great year at the plate, but lets get this straight: there may not be a centerfielder in baseball (outside the Bronx) who goes back on the ball worse than the Caveman. This guy needs to be tutored in geometry because he never charts the correct angle.

Aug 9 - Morgan the Moron HIts New Lows.

2005-08-09T14:58:00.000-07:00

Here a few blasts before we get started:

This Day in History: 1627 years ago today, the Roman Empire got routed by the Visigoths at Andriople. The casualties were staggering as the Roman’s had two-thirds of their army surrounded, captured and slaughtered by the younger and hungrier Visigoths. The Romans, who went into the battle laying four, were never the same. History will repeat itself tonight, as Jose Contreras will turn back the Yankee Empire in the Bronx.

Isn't it ironic that on the same day crude hits almost $64 a barrel, President Bush signs an energy bill that will do absolutely nothing to reduce this country's dependance on foreign oil. Mesaage to Congress - those subsidized wind farms marginally reduce our dependance on coal and gas, not oil. Message to Bush - Detroit is already dead so why not start digging the grave and move forward with higher fuel efficiency standards?

Sticking with our C-in-C for a moment: You got to give this guy credit - he stands by his guys (Palmeiro) even when they are confirmed ass clowns who lie to their fans and perjure themselves in front of Congress. There is a message here for those of you who want Bush to dump Karl Rove. Unless Rove gets caught on tape smoking crack and carjacking a pregnant women, his job is safe. Other then Paul O'Neil and Christie Todd, has this guy ever fired anyone? I suspect that if Bushie were the GM of the Sox, Alan Embree would still be giving up two run bombs at Fenway. Then again, if Bush were GM of the Sox, Boston would be looking to halve its revenue sharing outflows and Wade Miller would have had his foot blown off in Najaf.

Let me make this clear – I have always thought Joe Morgan was a rookie-ball analyst who sported a sub-standard IQ, poor verbal skills and an inability to criticize anything other then the weather and the speed of racial progress. As such, I have long thought Morgan had no business taking a spot in any broadcasting booth, let alone the one rented to ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball. With that said, my taste for Morgan was further soured the other night when I saw his ridiculous performance on ESPN. In case you missed it, the offense occurred when Karl Ravetch quizzed Morgan on steroid use in baseball. Morgan took the opportunity to express plenty of outrage, much like he did the other day in an interview with the Philadelphia Enquirer. Specifically, Morgan took aim at major league baseball for letting this steroid problem simmer for a decade when everyone knew bad things were going down. Everyone? Where the hell was Joe during this decade of discontent? I'll tell you where he was - he was stroking his pud and worshipping at the alter. Thankfully, Ravetch didn’t budge and decided to press Morgan with pointed follow-ups the second baseman had no interest or ability to answer. Pointedly, he asked Morgan to say whether Rafael Palmeiro belonged in the Hall of Fame. In typical Morgan fashion, he clumsily danced around the question, refusing to take it to the hoop and sink the layup that would beat Palmeiro. Morgan’s recent performance just cements his position at the bottom of ESPN’s scrap heap. This is a guy who has refused to criticize any specific player for the past 15 years. More importantly, if Morgan felt this way, how come he didn’t make any references to steroid abuse during all those Bonds’ games he broadcast over the past five years? The simple reason Morgan stayed quiet is he has no stomach for critical analysis. Even in this latest outburst, Morgan has distanced himself from any player-specific references. Enough is enough. My fingers are crossed that Morgan will be torched by the national media on this. It couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy.

I have never been a fan of Jets coach herm Edwards, but his stock fell to a new low today after I read one of his quotes in today’s New York Post. When asked about holdout John Abraham, Edwards barked, “We don’t play until September,” meaning he feels there is plenty of time remaining before this becomes an issue. Sorry Herm – wrong answer. That is not the answer of a coach – it is the answer of a fan. And it is the kind of response that I would expect from a guy at a bar wearing a green and white jersey with the name Klecko on the back. What Herm should have said is something like the following; “my attention and focus is on the players who are in camp and not those who are still at home.” Herm seems like a guy who always thinks things will just work. Accordingly, who cares if his biggest playmaker is holding out a month before the real shooting begins. Sorry Herm, preparation wins battles and having stars miss training campis nothing to dismiss. I’ll bet dollars to donuts that Edwards won’t be singing the same song if Abraham misses another ten days, comes in oout of shape and doesn’t register a sack until October.

The big series in baseball this week begins out in Oakland tonight where the A’s and Angles begin a three game set. Many are viewing this series as an opportunity to see whether this Oakland team is for real. Well, with Rich Harden going tonight and Barry Zito going tomorrow against a rookie, the A’s have great shot at sweeping this series and taking control of the West. The Angles luckily will miss Danny Haren, but Harden and Zito is enough punishment for one week. While the vaunted A’s staff has gotten most of the credit for Oakland’s turnaround, it should be noted that the offense has contributed as well. This is not the anemic team that some suggest. Just look at the numbers – the A’s are fourth in the AL in runs scored and sixth on OBP. Most think Bobby Crosby’s return sparked this offense, but if you ask me, the contributions of Jay Payton, Dan Johnson and Nick Swisher have been more unexpected and thus more important. Johnson, in particular, has been a force, slugging .550 with ten bombs in less then 200 at bats. He had a big rep coming through the A’s system, but did anyone in the organization really expect him to come in and make this kind of contribution so quickly? Eric Chavez, meanwhile, has recovered from a putrid April and is now on pace for a 100 RBI year. There are plenty of people, particularly on the East Coast, that still don’t believe in this team. Come Thursday night - this camp may be a lot smaller.

SOX BOX – Mark Belhorn’s days in Boston were already numbered but last night Tony Graffanino put a nail into Belly’s coffin. Graff slugged a three-run home run and went 3-3 with some nice base running. I would have taken 1-4 with a run scored over Belhorn, so last night was gravy city. So as the Belhorn cruise winds its way toward its concluding port, it is time for the Sox to turn their attention to another ship listing at sea. Of course I am talking about the USS Wade Miller, which got touched up again last night. Miller simply can’t get through a first inning without taking loads off the chin and last night was no exception. His fastball lacks any giddy-up and therefore he seems hesitant (or unable) to throw it for strikes. So that leaves him armed with just that “one o’clock -to-seven o’clock” hook and there is no telling when he is going to throw that over the plate. If I were the Sox, I would toss this guy on the DL and go with one of the kids. However, I would keep him around until the end of the season and perhaps tender him this winter. The reason: perhaps Miller just needs another off-season to get back to his 2002-3 form and how much can he command in arbitration coming off this year? On the flip side, the Sox may have surplus starters next year so having Miller around at 3-4M may not be such a smart thing to do. Last point on the Sox: Roberto Petegene has proven over the past five days why he has had trouble parlaying those gaudy AAA/Japan into a regular MLB job. Point of fact – Roberto has stone hands and brick feet. Bobby may have hit like Hideki over in Japan but he fields like that guy Kaz out at Shea. This is a guy who moves like Farley and scoops like an eighth grade band geek. He will not be around once John Olerud’s hammy heals.

I saw this stat published last night where Texas has already slugged 189 home runs this year. That puts them on pace to jack more then 270 bombs this year, a number that will surpass the record of 264 held by the 1997 Seattle Mariners. That is a lot of juice from one team and it begs the question of why this team didn’t off load some of that power for arms at the trade deadline. Do you really need 1.6 Dongs/gm to survive? Mark Texiera leads the club and is on pace to hit 45 round-trippers, but the scary thing about the Rangers is their depth. At this point in the season, it looks as if seven players will clock twenty balls out of play. On the other end of the spectrum, the Nationals will have just two guys hit twenty home run and the Giants may have only one. Home runs may be down this year, but you couldn’t tell that from watching the Rangers.

Aug 8/Part 2 Gretzky: The Next Magic or Dan Gable?

2005-08-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

The word is Wayne Gretzky has decided to take a job as head coach of the Phoenix Coyotes and while Mr. Janet Jones was obviously one of the greatest players to ever play the game, some question whether he will make it as a coach. After all, the relatively recent landscape is littered with guys who were great players in their respective sports but went on to have average or poor coaching careers. You want some failures? How bout these: Ted Willaims, Magic, Zeke, Pete Rose, and Bryan Trottier. Want some more? How about Ray Berry and Frank Robinson? On the positive side, Mike Ditka is a hall of famer who coached a Super Bowl champion, Bill Russell has titles as a player and coach, and both Lenny Wilkens and Larry Bird were competent on the sidelines. In baseball, Joe Torre won an MVP as a player, and Gil Hodges was a borderline hall of famer, but neither was a superstar. So that begs the question: who was the biggest double threat in coaching/playing history? Well, John Wooden is a good place to start. He was a two-time All-American at Purdue before he went on to build a dynasty at UCLA. But he played in the pre-Hoosier days so his basketball skills have to be discounted just a bit. What about Kim Mulkey, an All-American at La Tech who went on to coach Baylor to this year’s woman’s NCAA Basketball Championship? Not too shabby. These two, along with Torre and Ditka are nice candidates, but the guy I am nominating for the crown is Dan Gable, the legendary wrestling coach of the Iowa Hawks. Look at this resume: NCAA wrestling champ, 1972 Olympic Gold Medallist and coach of the 15-time NCAA champion Iowa Hawkeyes. Gable, pure and simple, is wrestling in this country. He was a legend on the mat and he built a college program that is amongst the strongest that any school has ever built in any sport. For that, he gets my double threat award. Gable may not be Gretzky's match as an athlete, but Wayne will have to blow past Scotty Bowman to match Dan as a coach. It ain't going to happen.

Congratulations go out this morning to Morgan Pressel who just wrapped up the best USGA year since the days of Bobby Jones. Check out this resume. The 17 year-old phenom won the U.S. Woman’s amateur yesterday and that comes on top of her second place finishes in the U.S. Woman’s Open and the U.S. Woman’s Jr. Amateur. That is the kind of year that even Jones would admire. Annika Sorenstam has had a remarkable year, but my vote for female golfer of the year goes to Pressel. By the way, am I a pervert because I watched twenty minutes of the tape-delayed U.S. Women’s Junior Amateur this weekend? For those of you who missed it, Tiger’s niece has game and so do Ivan Lendl’s two daughters.

So Ty Law is headed to the Meadowlands to play corner for the New York Jets. Wow, this is just what New York City needs - another pissed off black athlete who plays with a huge chip on his shoulder. Does this sound familiar? Well it should since it is basically a rehash of the Gary Sheffield Story starring John Amos as the Sheff. Don’t get me wrong – I am a fan of Law. Number twenty-four is a warrior who has always come up huge in big games and if you don’t believe me, you should go ahead and ask Kurt Warner and Peyton Manning. Law simply owns Manning and his pick and run basically turned around Super Bowl XXXVI. Moreover, Law is no pussy. He will play hurt and he will lay it all out on the field. Whether it is in coverage or in run support, Law is simply one of the most physical corners in football. As such, Jets fans can be assured they are getting a good player, so long as Law’s foot is healed. But before Jets fans start engraving those AFC East Championship trophies, you should be warned that Law comes with some baggage. First of all, he is much like Sheff in that he has a huge ego and always feels like he is being overlooked. He thrives on the sleight and tends to play worse as his recognition grows. Be warned Jets fans - you don’t want this guy getting too many compliments before a big game. Second of all, Law is a penalty machine and that will surely drive Herm Edwards crazy. Third, Law may not prove too useful against New England since the Pats know his faults and will adjust accordingly. The bet here is we will see Deion Branch stop Law short and beat him deep at least once this year. The morale to this story is Law will help this team, but doesn’t it say something that Belicheck was quick to swap out Law for Duane Starks? Sure, there were some financial considerations, but BB letting go of defenders is a bit like Mazzone getting rid of pitchers. I am not sure you want to be on the other side of that trade.

Lets stick with the Jets for a second and discuss this fight that broke out the other day at a practice the Jets were having with the Giants. The guys are Pro Football Talk, who are usually pretty honest, absolutely tore into the Jets following the fight, running a story that quotes a league source who most likely works for the football Giants. According to this guy, "The Jets act like they just won the Super Bowl. All they are is a bunch of fucking thugs. [There's] no discipline on that team at all. . . . And [Edwards] acts like he is some sort of preacher. He is a fucking phony." Man, those are fighting words, although it’s probably 50/50 they were either made up or came from a pissed off Giants fan who owns seasons tickets and calls himself a “league source.” I never considered the Jets or their fans to be extraordinary talkers – certainly not on par with the Steelers or Eagles. But I guess after going out and winning a playoff game in San Diego and playing the Steelers to a draw a week later, the Jets feel like they have a seat at this year’s adult table. Careful guys, it was just last December that the Pats went into the Meadowlands and pushed the Jets all over the field. By the way, I don’t think Edwards is a phony. I just think he is a danger to himself and his team on game day.

Aug 8/Part One - Brain Dead Caribbeans and Banged Up Yanks

2005-08-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pop culture points to get things started:

Entourage was very solid last night after getting cracked the week before. Ari carried last night’s show, going 3-4 with a bomb and two doubles, while Turtle and Drama combined on a strong seven hit shutout. The only trouble spot was the storyline between Vincent and Mandy, which went 0-4 and remains mired in a bad slump. Unfortunately, it looks like the producers remain committed to this storyline and will continue to go with it through seasons’ end (kind of reminds me of the Red Sox and Kevin Millaaaaaaar). As the season winds down, keep an eye on this late season call-up who could be hooking up with Eric. She has plenty of potential.

I haven’t seen Must Love Dogs yet, but I am thinking about seeing it just to check out the Newfoundland that stars as Diane Lane’s borrowed pooch. God, a Newf and Lane in the same picture – that is heaven. The only thing that might beat that is a movie staring Jenny Connelly and a Bernese Mountain Dog (http://www.berner.org/). I have to think about this a while, but Lane and a Newf may be the greatest chick-dog combo in motion picture history. It certainly ranks ahead of Lane and that vermin chasing Jack Russell from My Dog Skip. Feel free to submit your favorites, but please – no references to Snow Dogs – that was just Cuba being Cuba with a bunch of Siberian Huskies. .

There is no doubt that ESPN played a big role in elevating this country’s interest in poker and my question now is whether the network is planning on doing the same thing for eating contests. In case you haven’t noticed, ESPN is now covering a bunch of this stuff after deciding that Americans really like watching people stuff their faces with hot dogs, chicken wings and cheesecake. Lest you think this is a joke, one recent eating contest airing had higher ratings then that Steven A. Smith travesty that ESPN now shows every night. I, for one, applaud the move since I would much rather watch Takeru Kobayashi (The Hot Dog King) eat pasta then watch Steven stroke Alan Iverson’s ego. By the way, there was a great critique of Smith’s show in Sunday’s New York Post (http://www.nypost.com/sports/26723.htm).

Thirty-one years ago today, Richard Milhouse Nixon decided to resign rather then face impeachment proceedings. Isn’t it time for history to repeat itself?

On to this morning’s masterpiece:

I think its time for Felipe Alou to tone it down a bit. In case you missed it, Felipe totally lost it this week when Larry Krueger, a Frisco sports talk show host, said that he was tired off seeing the Giants “brain dead Caribbean hitters hacking at slop nightly.” Krueger went on to say that Alou’s “mind has turned to Cream of Wheat.” Felipe responded with outrage, claiming Krueger’s remarks had offended “HUNDREDS of millions of people.” Further, Alou refused Kruger’s apology, arguing that there “is no way to apologize for such a sin.” Felipe, it is time for you to go to the bathroom and adjust your panties because its clear they are bunching up and making you a wee bit uncomfortable. I am not saying Krueger didn’t mess up here, but lets not go crazy and pretend he sodomized a whole community. The question I have for Felipe is whether he is angry that Krueger singled out the Hispanics on the Giants, including himself, or whether he is peeved that Krueger used the term “brain dead Caribbeans?” I hope it’s the former because I really don’t see what’s wrong with the latter.

On point one, all Krueger is guilty of is perhaps unfairly ascribing too much blame for the Giants dismal season to only Omar Vizquel, Edgardo Alfonzo, Moises Alou, Deivi Cruz and Pedro Feliz .As Krueger knows and should have mentioned, this team, which includes plenty of white and black guys, hasn’t pitched well and without Barry Bonds, the entire offense has struggled. As such, it doesn’t seem fair to single out guys like Feliz when guys like Michael Tucker and JT Snows haven’t exactly pulled their own weight. So Kruger is perhaps guilty of picking on the team’s Hispanics – is this a crime for which no apology is suitable? In my mind, Krueger is basically guilty of selective prosecution and according to sports radio sentencing guidelines; this crime is a fairly minor misdemeanor. Hell, I am sure this kind of stuff would happen all the time to black guys up in Boston if any actually played for the Red Sox.

So lets move on to point two. I suspect Alou is having a lot of trouble with Krueger’s use of the term “brain dead Caribbeans.” I am a bit puzzled by Alou’s outrage because I don’t see the line as being too offensive, except perhaps to Vizquel who is Venezuelan and therefore should probably not be lumped in with the Caribbeans. Granted, I am not from the Caribbean and I didn’t hear the comments directly, but based on a strict interpretation of the quote, Kruger wasn’t stereotyping all Caribbeans - he just was stating that those playing for the Giants are apparently brain dead. And looking at the stats – I am not sure Krueger is all that far off. The thin-skinned may disagree with me, but this was not John Rocker or even Al Campanis. Sure, Kruger’s word selection was probably a bit harsh, even in the “no-holds barred” world of talk radio, but Alou has blown this way out of proportion. To suggest that there is no way to apologize for such a “sin” is simply ludicrous. Lets save claims like that for violent crimes against children and not trivial claims like Pedro Feliz is a hack (which he is). The crux of this matter is Alou is pissed off that some guy got on the radio and took he and his team to task. But rather then direct all his fire at Krueger, perhaps Alou should look in the mirror and start holding his team more accountable for its shoddy play.

I am not taking credit for the following, but it is rich and deserves repeating. With regard to Rafael Palmeiro, I heard someone recently mention “between the steroids and the Viagra, Palmeiro must have the most confused cock in the world.” A little sophomoric but good stuff anyways.

Another great line that I am ripping off: “When Kevin Millar goes 0-4 with two lazy flys and two weak grounders, is that just Kevin being Kevin?”

Here is a quote from this column on July 27: “The Yanks are also reportedly trying to deal Carl Pavano for Joel Pniero and Randy Winn. Let me get this straight – the Ms are supposed to trade their crap for more expensive crap. What this purported deal says to me is the Yanks know Pavano’s injury is basically a season-ender.” Boy do those last words sound prescient today as Pavano remains on the shelf and is now headed to Alabama to have his shoulder examined by a leading orthopedist. Pavano did pitch in the low minors this week, but he got cracked and the next day, he developed a stiff wing. The bet here is Pavano will certainly not pitch in the majors before Labor Day and is no better then 50/50 to pitch down the stretch. My theory on Pavano is his game went to hell the moment Alyssa Milano dumped him. If I were the Yankees and had to pay this guy another $32 million dollars, I would get on the horn with my boy Doug Jones (key grip on the show) and have Jones set Pavano up with one of the other girls on Charmed. You get Pavs matched up with Holly Marie Combs or Rose McGowan. and he may just find his stuff again. And if the gals aren’t into Pavano, then the Yanks should just pay them off. Hell, that’s what they do with everyone on their roster and what’s another couple million if it means getting Pavano right.

Pavano is not the only pinstriper whose season is now in jeopardy. The word leaking out of Yankee Inc. is the little unit has now developed a sore back and may miss his next start. Sorry Yankee fans – there is no such thing as missing just one start with a balky back. That is like saying someone may miss just a single meal after having two root canals and a couple of gum graphs. It is a simple truth - once the back acts up, there is no telling how long a pitcher will be out. And if Randi can’t go on Friday, which sounds possible, the safe bet is he will be headed to the DL and at least a second missed start. But fear not Yankee fans; Jaret Wright is reportedly twirling in the high 80’s and may be ready to return by next April.

SOX BOX: Since the trade deadline expired last Sunday at 4:00, Manny Ramirez is 9-16 with three bombs and 11 RBI. The last guy to get this hot off a big pinch hit was The Natural - Roy Hobbs. The Red Sox should try to trade Manram every week if this is how he is going to respond. For those of you dying to know what is going on with Mark Belhorn since he sprained his thumb a few weeks ago, here is an update. The Wizard of Whiff is down at Pawtucket where he is hitting .115. (3-26) with four RBI and 9 strikeouts. It just goes to show that Belhorn can’t hit good pitching, bad pitching and everything in between. Meanwhile, Dustin Pedroia, the Sox second baseman of the present and future, has begun tearing it up down at AAA now that his wrist has healed. He hit a couple bombs this weekend and has his average back up near .300. But with Tony Graff playing steady above him, Pedroia may have to wait until next April to get his shot. Nonetheless, I think it is now clear that Bells – “the hero of game six” - will never play in Boston again. Thank God for small miracles. Elsewhere on the Boston farm, Kevin Youkalis is white hot, John Papelbon has thrown a couple scoreless outings out of the pen and Anibal Sanchez, the 21-year old phenom who almost went to Tampa last week, continues to flourish at AA Portland. He gave up two runs in 6.2 innings yesterday and took the loss v. the top prospect in the Mets organization, but he walked none while fanning nine. His ERA is 1.31 at AA where he has 41 K’s in just 33 innings. Elsewhere, first round pick Craig Hansen may make his AA debut for Portland this week. Some optimists this Hansen could make it to Boston this year, but I think the real interesting call for the Sox right now is what to do with Jon Lester, a hard throwing lefty who leads the Eastern League in EPA. The Sox clearly need a lefty in the big league pen and Lester is the top lefty in the organization. But he is a natural starter and with 125 innings in the bag, I doubt the Sox want to keep him active too much longer. I suspect the organization will soon cut Lester’s workload if they intend to give him the ball in September.

I know the fashionable thing to do right now is to pick the surging Assholes to win the NL Pennant, but check out what happened to this scantily clad emperor this weekend in San Francisco. The Holes had their big three going but came out of the windy city with just one victory in three chances. On Friday, Andy Pettite lost a duel to Jason Schmidt and on Saturday, Lee Harvey Oswalt came up short against Noah Lowry. On Sunday, the Rocket righted things as he went seven strong and the Holes got the Giants late, but the morale to this weekend’s story is the Holes offense scares no one. Sure, they have three front line starters, but come October, winners have to generate at least a marginal amount of offense. And at this point, it is no certainty that Houston is up to the task. Hell, Schmidt can still twirl the rawhide, but if the Holes can’t hit Lowry and Brian Cooper, what are they going to do against Carpenter, Morris and Mulder?

Is there any chance that Brian Giles will stay in San Diego once his contract expires after the season? Judging from how he has hit at home, the bet is Brian will fly off to greener pastures where his bombs can do some damage. Take a look at Brian’s numbers at home. He is hitting .240 at the Pet Store with just two measly Jacks. He hasn’t exactly demonstrated a lot more thunder on the road (8 HRs), but it sure beats what he has accomplished at home. While Giles is hardly a star, he will command plenty of attention this winter, as the free agent pickings are slim. Will he perhaps move to Atlanta and play with his brother? That would be an excellent fit for the Braves, although I am not sure they have the resources to swing such a deal. Another possibility is Toronto, which is in need of both left-handed bat and a right fielder. The Jays have some money to spend this winter and Giles could get a look up north. Another possibility for the Jays is Hideki Matsui, although "underbite’s" asking price – at least 12.5M for 4 years – may be a bit steep.

Speaking of the Padres, they seemed to have righted the ship with five wins on a six game trip to Pittsburgh and Washington. Jake Peavy won two starts on the trip, including yesterday’s shutout of the Nationals at RFK. The Padres have a tough 15 game stretch coming up against the NL East and Houston, but if they can somehow manage to hang around .500 until the 24th, they should be in pretty good shape. On second thought, this is a team whose rotation now includes both Chan Ho Park and Pedro Astacio. Having these two would have been a positive back in 1999, but in 2005 it is clearly a liability.

Its too bad world record holder Asafa Powell was hurt and couldn’t compete because no one else in the world could do anything yesterday against Justin Gaitlin in the 100 meters at the World Track & Field Championships in Helsinki. Gaitlin went out and bombed the field, recording a 9.88 while no one else ran under ten seconds. That is the kind of beating that Democrats now take in Texas and Oklahoma. Now, if Gaitlin wins two more events at this meet – as he is expected to do – he may have a shot of cracking the top-five of my sportsman of the year list. Currently, World Cup ski champion Bode Miller leads the competition, but Tiger is right there and would probably pull ahead with a win next week at the PGA. Gaitlin is in that second tier that currently includes Lance, the Rocket, and Aussie swimmer Grant Hackett. The big question for me is can Tiger be overtaken if he wins the PGA. My guess is it would take something absolutely heroic in the World Series, a second Heisman for Leinart or a third straight Super Bowl for Tom Brady to do the trick.

For those of you not familiar with Hackett – here is a thumbnail of his 2005 resume. At last week’s world swimming championships in Montreal, Hackett won the 400, 800 and 1500 meter freestyle, while setting a new world record in the 800. In the 1500, Hackett has now won the last four world championships to go along with his gold medals from both Sydney and Athens. In fact, he has not lost this event in eight years and there is a very good possibility that he will remain undefeated through Bejing. If he accomplishes that feat, it will amount to one of the greatest streaks in Olympic sports history, ranking right up there with Eddie Moses, Lance Armstrong and Alexander Karelin. Hackett is simply the greatest distance swimmer of all-time and even though American Larsen Jensen gave Hackett a scare in Athens, the Aussie remains one of the safest bets in swimming. In fact, he just may be the surest now that the world has begun creeping up on Michael Phelps.

Aug 4 - Maz Goes Down - What Took So Long?

2005-08-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

It sure didn’t take long for the loggers to take a chunk out of that Joe Torre coaching tree. Today, Lee Mazzilli was canned down in Baltimore in a move that was probably 10 months overdue. I had my mind made up on Mazzilli on September 5th of last year when one of his “instant classics” cost the Birds a game against the Yanks. In that game, Mazzilli came down with amnesia and forgot that you never bring in wild right-hander when you have a lefty on the mound that is taking out Yanks like a confederate sniper. He’s had a few brain farts against the Sox as well, leading me to believe he is one of the worst bullpen handlers in recent baseball history. I guess he didn’t learn a whole lot from Joe making all those tough calls to bring in Mo. Ok, so one branch on Torre’s tree has been snapped and I am left wondering how long will it be before the Randolph branch is hit by lightening? Willie hasn’t been quite the moron Mazzilli was, but he has certainly not distinguished himself. The bet here is he will feel some heat next year if the Mets do not seriously challenge for a playoff berth.

Speaking of Randolph and the Mets – I think it pretty clear Roberto Hernandez is showing some signs of overuse. He gave up runs on both Tuesday and Wednesday and today he got absolutely rocked as he squandered a two-run ninth inning lead. Does Randolph think you can pitch this guy everyday? For god’s sake, Hernandez is an emergency tire that Randolph is using for a cross-country trip. Let’s be honest – Hernandez is 47 years old and at that age, he should be petting therapy dogs and not pitching in five nail-biters a week. The real problem is the Mets are basically going with a ten man staff and the bullpen is now totally burned out. I am not sure hwo serious this team could challenge for a playoff spot but it was criminal that GM Omar Minaya didn’t go out at the trade deadline and at least secure a capable reliever, regardless of whether that pitcher was a middle guy or closer.

Mets fans love to dump on Mike Piazza, but let me tell you something, The Slice, is quietly having a nice year. After hitting a bomb this afternoon, Piazza is projected to have a 20/80 year which isn’t too bad for a sub-500 at bat catcher. Hey, his defense is atrocious and has been for years, but I dare you to give me the names of five catchers who are having Mike’s year at the plate. And don’t give me the name of Engleberg who tore it up for the Bears this Spring. Meanwhile, Mike’s understudy – Ramon Castro - is quietly putting up nice numbers as well. This may shock you but Castro has now knocked in twenty-two runs in just 100 at bats. Granted, that is not a huge sample, but Castro has demonstrated that he can hit major league pitching with runners on base. And at the very least, Castro has proven that he is more than adequate enough to take over for Piazza next year.

It is shocking, but I live in a city where a fair amount of baseball fans will argue that Robinson Cano is the leading candidate to win the American League Rookie of the Year award. Nothing speaks to New York’s baseball myopia as this issue. Lets just forget for a second that Cano is mired in a horrible streak where he has 2 hits in his last 24 at bats. With the slump, Cano is hitting just a smidge under .300, but his OBP is just .317. His numbers are good, but they are certainly nothing special. And they are certainly nowhere those of Tiger Chris Shelton, who is slugging .560. Moreover, Toronto hurler Gustavo Chacin has eleven wins and an ERA of 3.30, while Oakland closer Huston Street is on fire closing games on the West Coast. The morale to the story New York fans: your boy Cano is at best the fourth best rookie in the American League, and that may be shortchanging guys like Aaron Hill and Tadahito Iguchi. I don’t want to hear YES man Michael Kay mention one more time that Cano is a ”contender” for the ROY award, as he did this afternoon. That is a pretty damn liberal definition of “contender.” Hey, I can eat a lot of hot dogs and I guess under Kay’s definition, I am a contender to take out Kobayashi at next year’s Nathan’s hot dog eating contest.

Aug 2 - Palmeirogate

2005-08-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

Just want to get this out of the way to begin – Its August, meaning its time to get it on! I have been a bit passive this baseball season, but Sunday’s game at Fenway got me jacked and ready for the stretch run. Cashorre’s punk ass bitches are going down!

There is now talk in the media that MLB has known about Rafael Palmeiro’s guilt for the past three months, but sat on the news while it was confirmed and Raf had an opportunity to present his side of the case. If this is true, baseball is in for a world of shit. I don’t recall MLB sitting on Juan Rincon’s result for three months. Alex Sanchez? They probably sent out that suspension with the daily mail on the day they got it came back from the lab. Why in god’s name was MLB protecting this clown? And more importantly, did they compromise the integrity of the testing program and the game itself by sitting on this information. You bet your ass they did. If a player can play for three months after testing positive, then the program’s enforcement regime is a certifiable joke. It’s tantamount to letting a runner compete in the Olympics after he tested positive at the Olympic Trials. There is no way the IOC would let that happen and it is stupefying that baseball finds it permissible. And what about Bud’s statement back in the spring that he would be announcing test failures the moment he had names in hand? Bud has some explaining to do if he had this particular name in hand back in April. If it ever comes out that the league sat on this while Palmeiro stalked 3000 hits, then I would recommend that Selig and everyone involved with the decision be terminated immediately. Now that I think about it, lets just get rid of Selig now. The tests are back and he failed so why let him serve another three months.

So now we have word that Ryan Franklin has been caught with his hand in the performance enhancing drug cookie jar. I wonder when the league received his test results. The bet here is they came in this morning and Franklin got a call from the mailroom shortly thereafter. Just imagine how shitty Franklin would have been without the juice. This guy is 6-11 with an ERA of 4.61 while sticking needles in his ass. You take the juice away and you may have Eric Milton. So who got Franklin mixed up in this? Well, my guess is Brett “Balco” Boone had something to do with it.

Who would you rather have on your team over the next five years: Shaq or Derrick Jeter? Well, both will now cost you $100 million over the next five after Shaq signed a disgustingly huge extension this afternoon. Actually, Jeter is going to cost a bit more than Shaq (5-6M) but when you get to nine figures - who’s counting. I guess the Heat must love their team as currently constituted because this extension will most likely hamstring this club as Shaq’s health and skills continue to erode. Its got to be now or never for the heat. Hey, don’t get me wrong. I love Shaq. He is still the most dominant player in the NBA when he is healthy. But his health has been slipping and the bet here is the final few years on that contract will not be too pretty. However, regardless of his health, I would still take Shaq over Jeter, who three years from now will probably be no better than the fifth or sixth best shortstop in the American League. In fact, three years from now, Jeter will probably still make more than Johnny Peralta, Bobby Crosby, Aaron Hill, Brandon Wood (Angels) and Hanley Ramirez (Red Sox) make combined.

Anyone catch Steven Smith’s new show on ESPN last night? What a surprise – Smith’s first guest was an angry black man named Alan Iverson. That is like Dave Duke getting a show and having his first guest be John Rocker. Hey Steve, what is the guest list going to look like after you have Iverson, Isiah and Kobe sit on the couch? The bet here is after those three appear; Smith will be relegated to guests like Stuart Scott, Steven A. Marbury and Steve A. Smith – the wide receiver for the Panthers. I am now taking bets on who will be the first white guest to appear with Smith. My money is on Lynn Swann.

Would you rather bang Kristin from MTV’s Laguna Beach or Brynn Cameron, point guard for the USC woman’s hoop team (http://usctrojans.collegesports.com/sports/w-baskbl/mtt/cameron_brynn00.html)? That is the question that faced USC quarterback Matt Leinart earlier this year, although you couldn’t have gathered that from watching the show (Laguna Beach) because the Heisman Trophy winner has not been seen or mentioned during the new season. While there have been veiled references to a boyfriend at USC, Leinart apparently got MTV to agree to keep his mug and name out of the show. And why is this? Did Matt feel that some NFL team might think twice about making him the number one pick in next April’s NFL draft because he cheated on his girlfriend (Brynn) while he was at USC? Was he concerned that Brynn might find out about his relationship with Kristin? Was he hoping to keep it all quiet? And why does Kristin refer to Matt as her boyfriend when he was dating someone else? And how do I know he was dating someone else? Well, in a recent ESPN mag article, Matt said he and Brynn have been dating since early in the basketball season and this dates back to before the taping of the show. Hmmmmmm. I think it is clear that from the evidence I have seen that this past winter, Matt had at least two girls running deep for his post. If this doesn’t register with you, it is time for you start watching the fucking show, because the girls on the
program blow away those USC cheerleaders that everyone East of the Mississippi seem to love.

It took a few weeks, but we now have a winner in the NBA’s annual competition to determine its most pathetic and intellectually challenged franchise. The votes are in and it was close but Atlanta, by virtue of this move to acquire Joe Johnson for $70 million, is our 2005 winner. What in god’s name are the Atlanta Hawks doing giving Joe Johnson a $20 million dollar bonus and ten million per year over the next five years? Message to Atlanta – this is not Earvin, Marques or even Dennis. It is Joe Johnson – a glorified role player who greatly benefited from playing alongside the NBA’s most recent MVP award winner Steve Nash .I still cannot believe this move. The Hawks have been marshalling resources for two years to make a high priced acquisition and all they could come up with is Joe Johnson? This has got to be the worst decision made in Georgia since the introduction of New Coke in 1985. Check that, sending Newter to Washington trumps Coke’s decision by a whisker. The Hawks have now blown their wad on a roster where the four most talented players – Johnson, Marvin Williams, Josh Smith and Al Harrington – all basically play the same position. I guess one could argue that nobody in the league has more depth at small forward than the Hawks, but who in the world is going to pass and rebound on this team? But at the end of the day, should this come as a surprise. The Hawks have been a woeful franchise since Nique lost that playoff shootout to Bird in 88 and this is just another chapter in a real sad and tragic book. To illustrate just how bad this move is, one must consider that Milwaukee had two major brain seizures this Summer – signing Bobby Simmons for 50 mil and Dan Gadzuric for 30 plus – and they still couldn’t take this year’s incompetence award. It just goes to show, when you are going up against Atlanta in the area of incompetence, you got to bring your whole game.

August 1 - Palmeiro is Positively a Putz

2005-08-01T14:05:00.000-07:00

These are now some of the most significant words ever spoken in the world of baseball: “I have never knowingly taken steroids.” That was the testimony of Rafael Palmeiro back in March when he testified in front of a congressional hearing. So here is Palmeiro’s new defense – he is now saying that he never “intentionally” took steroids and he has no idea how his test came back positive. Would someone please tell Mr. Amnesia that there is a strong correlation between positive tests and sticking juice filled needles into your ass. Now I am not sure whether Palmeiro faces a contempt or perjury charge, but his penalty in the court of opinion certainly will be severe. From this point forward, Palmeiro will forever be the guy known as a liar, an idiot and a chronic steroid abuser. Case Closed! I suspect some of his defenders will still give him their vote when his name is called for the Hall of Fame, but I am not so sure he remains a lock for induction. Not anymore. Not after this. Had he just been fingered through a test then perhaps the damage would not be so bad. But this guy went up in front of Congress and started waving his finger. Once you wave the finger, all bets are off. Case in point – the only reason why OJ didn't go to jail was he didn't wave that finger while he was trying on that glove. So while Palmeiro’s stock is in a free fall, the guy who benefits from all this is Jose Canseco since he was the one who fingered Palmeiro early in the year. There were legions of pundits who killed the messenger in this case, but this development certainly lends credibility to Jose’s original accusations. First he scored with his call on Palmeiro and now he is banging Janice Dickinson on the Surreal Life. That is two pretty big hits in one year for Jose. It may not be a 40-40 year, but it’s a better year than Raf ever had sans juice.

When I heard that the oldest living guy to have played major league basebal died at the age of 100 my first thought was: Bobby Cox is sure going to miss Julio Franco.

The kid who played Kumar in the movie Harold and Kumar go to White Castle should have won an oscar last year. It is a joke that comedies written for late teens (and myself) don't get more attention at oscar time. For my money, you can't go wrong watching an Indian slacker get high, but Kumar took it to another level in White Castle. I am giving H&K an A minus and perhaps even an A for those of you who aren't subject to drug testing.

The only thing more overated than Steve Finley is the movie Wedding Crashers, a movie that some are throwing into rareified air. Like Finley, Wedding Crashers is presentable, but also like Finley, it flails far too much to be considered elite. There are some solid scenes in WC, but on balance, far too many laughs come up short. Neither Vince Vaughan or Owen Wilson had great games, and while Will Ferrell came in and threw one solid inning out of the pen, he folded late. I'll be generous and give it a B minus.

Yesterday, we had a surreal and perhaps historic moment at Fenway Park when Manny Ramirez came off the bench to deliver a game winning hit just days after he had hit new lows with the population of Red Sox nation. Manram was absolutely excoriated on Thursday and Friday, but that was all forgotten the moment he climbed out of that dugout at 4:45 yesterday afternoon. For those of you who didn’t see it, the Fenway faithful went absolutely crazy when Manny emerged and the noise kept building right up to the time he knocked out a game winner. The Stones are playing Fenway this month and it is unlikely that the place will be as loud during Start Me Up as it was yesterday when Ramirez rounded first and pointed to his teamates in the dugout. Most importantly for the Sox and Manny is the fact that yesterday served as an opportunity for Ramirez to get right with the fans. Had he not come up to bat and not got that hit, it is very likely that some residual animosity between Manram and Red Sox nation would have lingered. Just think, if the Sox had lost 5-2 yesterday and Kevin Millar had stranded seven, WEEI would be fielding anti-Manram calls until the mid-term congressional elections. But judging from the immediate post-hit reaction and a survey of the Boston message boards and airwaves, Manny is back in good standing. So not only did the Sox keep Manny’s irreplaceable bat this weekend, but they probably also avoided their worst fear – a Ramirez who feels unloved and unwanted.

I can’t comment on the entire history of Fenway Park, but I am ready to go “Knee Jerk” and label Manram’s hit yesterday as one of the top-10 moments in Fenway history since I became a fan in 1975. Here are my top-10 in chronological order: 1) Fisk’s Home Run in Game Six of the 1975 World Series 2) Yaz’s retirement day in 1983 3) Rocket strikes out 20th Mariner 4) Brunansky’s catch to clinch 1990 American League East flag 5) Trot’s walkoff to win Game Three of the 2003 ALDS 6) Ortiz doubles off Foulke to win Game Four of 2003 ALDS 7) Ortiz walk-off bomb to win Game Four of 2004 ALCS 8) Ortiz game ender to win Game Five of 2004 ALCS, 9) World Championship Ring Ceremony and 10) Manny repairs the burnt bridge. Narrow misses: Dave Roberts steal, Pedro throws some old man to the turf, Carl Everett goes psychotic, Billy Mueller launches a game winner off Rivera last Summer and Mike Mussina losses a perfect game with two outs in the ninth a few seasons back. Come to think of it, that may be number one.

July 29 - The Sledgehammer Calls it Quits

2005-07-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

So the Sledgehammer – Teddy Johnson – has decided finally to call it quits. Number 52 will be sorely missed by this fan who always felt Johnson was one of the more underrated inside guys in all of football. The former Colorado Buff may not have been the most fleet afoot, and he certainly was not a great cover guy, but he was an absolute hammer against the run, particularly in short yardage. Unlike Zach Thomas, who often gets carried three yards on each of his tackles, Johnson was a “stand-up” guy who could stuff the NFL’s biggest and toughest. If you don’t believe me, just ask Jerome Bettis, who has been Johnson’s personnel bitch ever since the 1996 playoffs. For ten years, the Pats have owned the Bus and the guy holding the pink slip has always been Teddy Johnson. So most in the NFL world are now predicting gloom for the Pats now that they have lost their inside backers - Johnson and Teddy Bruschi. Are such predictions warranted? I am not going to sit here and argue that I am not slightly concerned by this development since Johnson was being counted on for at least another year of stability. But I am not raising the white flag either. The Pats perhaps saw this coming and have brought in Chad Brown and Monty Beisel to plug the inside holes. Moreover, I suspect Roman Pfeiffer will be talked out of retirement to give it a final go and there is talk that Mike Vrabel will play some inside backer this fall, leaving the outside to Willie and Rosie. With that said, I am pretty confident the Pats will find a way to replace numbers 52 and 54 on the field. But I must concede that with Johnson and Bruschi now retired, Sunday’s at Gillette will not quite be the same.

Maybe it is time for the Colorado Rockies to simply fold up shop and ride off into the sunset. I say this because just yesterday, the Rockies did a “salary dump” that netted the organization just $800,000. That is the amount the Rockies will save by sending Shawn Chacon to New York for a couple of minor league jokers. How can an organization this focused on the bottom line ever succeed in baseball? Listen, I know the Rockies were not going anywhere with Chacon, but where does it end? Is it going to be common practice for this team to sign guys for a couple million and then trade them off at the deadline every year? Is that any way to run a franchise? At this rate, why don’t the Rockies just field a team made up of players making the major league minimum. If they aren’t willing to stick with guys making a couple million dollars a year, then there is simply no way they will ever compete.

Most of you have probably never heard of Kaitlin Sandeno unless you at least casually follow women’s swimming. And that is a shame because Sandeno is simply one of the toughest “competitors” in sports today. For those not familiar with her resume, last Summer in Athens, Sandeno hooked up in the Olympic 400 IM final with Yana Klotchkova in what was an epic struggle to the wall. In that race, Sandeno came out of nowhere to lower her best time by about five seconds and give Klotchkova - one of the ten greatest female swimmers of all time - all she could handle in an event Klotchova had dominated for years. Last night, Sandeno was at it again as she anchored the U.S. 4x200 freestyle relay at the World Swimming Championships in Montreal. Heading into the final leg, Sandeno trailed Australia by about a half second. The Aussies had a competent anchor so the U.S. chances looked a bit uncertain. So what did Sandeno do? Well, she ended up swimming the third fastest 200 freestyle spilt in history and rallied to beat the Aussies by three tenths of a second. It was a big-time swim from a big time competitor who always seems to perform well in the big spot. She may not be the most talented swimmer in the World, but she is undeniably one its best “racers” If I had to compare Sandeno to anyone in sport, it would be Robert Horry. Like Horry, Sandeno may not have a gaudy resume, but when it comes to performing on the big stage, both Sandeno and Horry usually rise to the occasion.

July 27 - Baseball Rumblings and Boilermaker Musings

2005-07-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

Big Unit has been pitching better of late and was real tough yesterday, but the Twins offense isn’t exactly Grey Goose or Kettle One. It is more like Blue Ox Vodka, made and bottled in Fargo. I thought Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau were supposed to provide this club with the power it has lacked in recent seasons. Well, Mauer has just seven bombs and 23 total extras (virtually none against lefties) while Morneau looks about ten home runs short of the 35-bomb guy he was advertised to be. These kids are still young and they may someday blossom into bigger power guys, but as of right now, they are not supplying the electricity that Minnesota expected. Here is a telling stat for Minnesota – Mauer is the only .800 OPS guy on the team.

Are the Yankees really considering signing Hideo Nomo? That is like lunging for that last piece of sushi that no one else at the table will dare eat. The Yanks are also reportedly trying to deal Carl Pavano for Joel Pniero and Randy Winn. Let me get this straight – the Ms are supposed to trade their crap for more expensive crap. What this purported deal says to me is the Yanks know Pavano’s injury is basically a season-ender.

The O’s finally won a game last night but it probably came against the coldest team in baseball Am I the only one who finds it disgraceful that Sammy Sosa is being mentioned in the same sentence as Frank Robinson this morning as a result of them now being tied on the all-time home run list? Borrowing a line from Scott Hastings, the only sentence that should contain these two names is as follows: “That Sammy Sosa – he’s no Frank Robinson.”

I have been waiting a couple months to see Paul Byrd get cracked and it finally happened at Toronto last night. Anyone notice that Steve Finley got shoved down to the eight hole against a tough lefty? Boy has he been a waste of money.

The Manny watch is on in Boston where Manram is reportedly unhappy and wants to be traded - again. Perhaps hoping to affect a trade, Manny refused to run out a ground ball last night and it almost cost the Sox a run. The absurdity continued today when Manny approached Terry Francona and begged out of today's game. According to Manny, he was promised a day off last week and was intent to cash in even though the Sox have an off day tomorrow. Is this just Ramirez being Ramirez or are we seeing a new and more lazy Manny? I suspect it is the former but am concerned it is the latter. And lets be clear - this has explosive potential since Manny can't be traded without the Sox agreeing to eat at least $15 over the next thee years. With that established, Boston is basically stuck with Manram (for at least another year) and you have to wonder what will happen if the dominican bomber suddenly starts sulking. Peer presure seemed to be enough to difuse a similar situation back in 2003 but there is no telliing whether the same tactics will work again in 2005.

Look at that – it took eleven tries, but the Royals finally beat the White Sox. Amazingly enough, the win came against Mark Buerhle who has been struggling ever since Cracker Jax started giving away those Mark Buerhle de-coder rings a couple weeks ago. In all fairness to Mark, even when he gets cracked, he does it quickly.

Hey Theo, the guy you traded for Tony Graffinino is 6-13 in Kansas City Oh, and another thing, the guy you threw into the OC-Nomar trade is hitting over .400 for the Cubs. Before you trade any more prospects, could you make sure they suck. I can feel it now – Annabel Sanchez will go to Florida for AJ Burnett and will end up beating Burnett to sixty career wins (AJ already has 44). Someone actually showed up and beat the A’s last night although it should be mentioned that the A’s got another great start. With five days to go, are the Indians buyers or sellers? Unfortunately for the Red Sox, I don’t see them selling Wickman.

The Assholes kept it going last night as Lee Harvey threw a gem. Lieber threw well for Philly, but he got caught up in Oswalt’s drive for the NL Cy Young. Craig Biggio hit his 250th bomb last year and even I am beginning to concede that this guy has a pretty worthy HOF resume. This guy is going to finish the year with 2800 hits and 1700 runs. It is not inconceivable that Bigs cracks 3000 if he can stay healthy and find someone who will let him play in 2007.

How in the world can San Diego still be leading the West after going 17-31? Los Madres have now lost eight straight and if Peavy losses tonight, that streak will hit double figures. During this losing streak, the Mads have scored just 14 runs in eight games. Unless you have Koufax and Pedro, you aren’t going to win many games with that kind of offense. How do you punish guys who turn down trades? In the case of Phil Nevin, San Diego has decided to make him catch.

It seems everyone in the world is assuming that the winner of the Big-10 this year will be determined in November when Ohio State travels to Ann Arbor. This is the assumption every year but in 2005 I would caution that Purdue may have something to say before it is all said and done. I say this because the scheduling gods have decided this is the year Purdue gets a pass against both Michigan and Ohio State this year. Talk about good fortune. That is like a Democrat running for president without having to play in either Texas or Ohio. The Boilermaker case is further strengthened by the fact that Purdue gets Iowa at home and all eleven starters are returning on defense. I guess that is a good news/bad news story since Purdue’s defense wasn’t exactly stout last year, but experience should count for something. Listen, Purdue still needs to prove it can replace Kyle Orton at quarterback, but the ingredients seem to be in place for a big year in West Lafayette. If a couple of things break right, it may not matter who wins that game at Ann Arbor since Purdue will have already sewn up the conference’s BCS invite.

July 26 - Young Americans Shine in Montreal

2005-07-26T15:15:00.000-07:00

Congratulations go out this morning to Jessica Hardy, an 18 year old Californian who burst onto the swimming scene last night by taking down the world record in the one hundred meter breaststroke at the World Swimming Championships in Montreal. Her time of 1:06:20 in the semi-finals last night was basically two seconds faster then her previous best coming into Worlds and it makes her the favorite to win gold in the finals tonight. This performance came straight out of left field since Hardy had never competed internationally prior to this meet. To set a WR your first time out is tantamount to throwing a no-hitter in your major league debut. The Hardy story is made even more compelling by the fact that she is pretty hot, (http://www.usaswimming.org/USASWeb/DesktopModules/BioView.aspx?bioid=118&TabId=388&Mid=597), although I will need a little more info before I start comparing her to Natalie Coughlin or Amanda Beard. Nonetheless, the 18 year old is bound for Cal and based on this writer's previous visits to Berkeley; Hardy will undoubtedly be one of the five best looking girls in that schools freshman class. It is a safe bet that Hardy is going to drive all those Asian engineering kids crazy. While Hardy was the big news in Montreal last night, another young American swimmer, Katie Hoff, had a breakthrough performance by taking gold in the 200 meter individual medley. In doing so, Hoff shattered her own American Record and threatened one of the most drug-tainted records that exist in sports. (For some reason, the current world record is held by a Chinese woman who failed a drug test and was suspended for four years shortly after she set the record in question. Since when do we let convicted bank robbers keep the money?) Hoff is only 16 and the bet here is she will take out that record before the 2008 Beijing Olympics. The interesting thing to watch with Hoff is how she will be marketed in coming years since she is undoubtedly the future of U.S. woman’s swimming. She has tremendous versatility and its possible Hoff could be the type of athlete that wins three or four gold medals in Beijing. But here is the catch. I really don’t like ripping on young girls (other then gymnasts), but lets just say Hoff is no Coughlin and she would fit right in at a school as aesthetically challenged as Cal. Hey, things could change over the next couple years, but Hoff isn’t exactly the type that Americans come to adore. But either was Amy Van Dyken and she ended up on a Wheaties box. Go figure.

Here are some baseball thoughts: The forty million dollars the Red Sox plan to spend of Edgar Renteria over the next four years is a bigger waste of money then the subsidies that the Agriculture Departments will send to this country’s sugar growers. I was holding out hope that Edgar was going to turn it around, but the more I watch him play, the more ordinary he looks. Nice one Theo. Are the Oakland A’s ever going to lose again? At this rate, they are going to win the AL wildcard by eight games in what will be one of the greatest mid-season turnarounds in history. The White sox are now 10-0 versus Kansas City this year after they crushed the Royals last night. I remember a long time ago when the Yanks used to do that to Baltimore and Tampa. Jhonny Peralta hit his 14th bomb for Cleveland last night as he makes a run for the title of second best shortstop in the American League. If you gave Peralta all of Young or Jeter’s at bats, he would be close to a 30/100 guy with a .900 plus OPS. With Peralta and Crosby emerging, what is the over/under on how many more all-star teams Jeter makes while earning the last $100 million on his contract? I’d say Vegas sets that line at 2.5. The birds fade continued last night as they lost a close one to the slumping Rangers. Will Soriano’s bomb last night be the last he hits in a Rangers uniform? If I am the Rangers, I do Soriano for Heilman and Zambrano. The Rangers are crazy if they think they are going to get Reyes for Alfonso. While they are at it, why not ask for the winning numbers to the next five New York State lottos?

Is it just me, or has Milwaukee been within a game or two of .500 all year? Cmon, Brewers, lets put something together and have a winning season for a change. I think I may have jumped the gun on Bill Hall The U.S. Economy hit better in 1982 then Hall did in June and July. Ben Sheets got off to a slow start after his return from the injured list, but he has been pretty damn solid since June 23. Capuano goes for his 7th straight tonight but the old Dukie has been a little shaky of late. Andy Pettite wasn’t exactly efficient last night, but he was solid and the Assholes rolled once again. Cory Lidle did his customary big-game disappearing act and Phils now must beat either Lee Harvey or Rocket to avoid a crippling sweep at the Juice Box. That is just bad luck coming into Houston and having to face Houston’s big three. But the Phils bad luck is good news for New York who will get to avoid both Oswalt and Clemens. As a consolation prize, the Phils do get Kim at Denver on Thursday, but that may not be as easy as it looks. The Krazy Korean has been a bit better of late. Anyone see my boy D Lowe twirl that one-hitter last night? The one guy getting in the way of Lowe’s no-no was none other then Rich Aurilla. Does Carlos Beltran plan on giving any of that money back? Jason Schmidt was pretty solid last night and given the choice, I’d take him over Burnett any day of the week. Its too bad he plays for a retarded GM who lives on a cul-de-sac in fantasyland.

What am I missing here? How come Michelle Wie entrances the whole golfing world when there is another teenager out there who is actually winning LPGA events? Sure, Wie’s story is great, but it is unfairly obscuring the accomplishments that are being posted by Paula Creamer – an eighteen year old Californian who has actually won twice already on the LPGA tour. In case you don’t know the story, Creamer turned pro before finishing high school and won a tourney in May just outside of New York City. She then turned around and won last week’s Evian Masters. In just a few months, she has won over a million dollars and currently ranks third on the LPGA money list. On top of these accomplishments on the course, Creamer is pretty hot, in a porn star kind of way (think former wicked actress Christy Lake: http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=3438) (http://www.wickedpictures.com/bio/a-e/Christi_Lake.html). So she has game, youth and some looks, yet at this time, the media seems to be myopically consumed with Wie, I find this to be a bit peculiar since Creamer smoked Wie by eight shots last week at the Evian Masters and it is Creamer who is pocketing big chunks of dough. Those older gals on tour must be licking their chops and counting the days until Paula is old enough to travel without a chaperone.

I have had it with Gary Meyers – the football columnist for the New York Daily News. For those not familiar with Gary’s sophomoric work, he is absolutely consumed by a hatred of the New England Patriots. As such, he never misses an opportunity to blast the Pats and comment on their impending doom. Over the past six months, a common theme for Gary has been to predict that the Pats will fall apart now that they have lost their old offensive and defensive coordinators. Meyers raised the issue in his most recent Sunday column, but it was simply regurgitated material that he has published at least three times since the Pats beat the Eagles in Super Bowl 39. I find it simply amazing that his lazy editors let him get away with such redundancy. I guess they figure that if you print something enough, it becomes intelligent and perhaps even true. I know the off-season is slow, but that is no excuse for Meyers to cut and paste from old columns. I also find it curious that Meyers has never published a follow up piece on his prediction that Patriot personnel guru, Scott Pioli, was destined to join the Giants when his contract expires next April. Meyers was pushing this story hard early this year, but the story fell apart last month when Pioli inked a long-term deal to stay in New England. Curiously enough, Meyers has not said a word about Pioli since the news broke. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to any who are familiar with Meyers and his work. It is time for the editors at the News to remind Meyers that the Boston-New York rivalry does not really extend to football.

July 25 - Phelps Washes Out in Montreal

2005-07-25T11:56:00.000-07:00

I had to take a sabbatical because I was getting compulsive but I am back with some thoughts this morning.

What the hell happened yesterday morning in Montreal where Michael Phelps failed to make it out of the prelims in the 400 free at the World Swimming Championships? Phelps probably hasn’t missed a final since he was seven and swimming against ten year olds at Pimlico in North Baltimore. The bet here is Phelps will have a disappointing meet (in Phelpsian terms) and many in the mainstream media will come to view his Olympic year as a fluke. Don’t let them fool you – Phelps is still the most versatile and dominant swimmer ever and he will come back next near with added motivation.

Thank god the Lance Armstrong era has finally come to a close. I grew tired of this story four years ago and am glad that I won’t have to hear any more mention of Lance until he makes his inevitable comeback in 2008. I am not entirely sure why I am so luke warm on this guy, but there is something about Lance and his minions that put me off. Perhaps it’s the doping and perhaps it’s the fact that Lance’s army is comprised of thousands of jingoistic sycophants, but either way, I am not a fan. Don’t get me wrong - I like his ESPN Sportscenter spot and appreciate his accomplishments as difficult and perhaps even extraordinary, but I feel they are a bit overstated. After all, plenty of people have won multiple tours and when you get right down to it – tour racing is just one facet of cycling. If Lance truly wants my respect, he will win the Race Across America next year without Team Discovery backing him every step of the way.

It is becoming more and more clear to this scribe every day that the Boston Red Sox won last year despite the stupidity of manager Terry Francona. Here is the most recent travesty. During yesterday’s game at Comiskey, Boston trails 6-3 in the 8th with runners on first and second and one out. Facing a right-hander and with John Olerud and Edgar Renteria on the bench, Francona decides to go with Alex Cora and Tony Graffinino. Listen, I know Renteria was given the day off, but shouldn’t he be forced to attend sixth period if the game is on the line? Letting Cora hit in that spot was treasonous, but I guess Francona loves this .200 hitter in big spots because he let him hit in a similar spot last week against Big Mo. I can just see it now – sixth game of the ALCS and the following is heard: Now hitting for Ortiz: Alex Cora.

What the hell happened to Baltimore this weekend down in Tampa? Yesterday, the Birds got their ace back (Eric Beddard) but he got worked over by the Blade. In case you haven’t noticed, Casey Fossum has quietly had a nice year by shutting down lefties and challenging right-handers inside (13 hbp). But back to the Birds. In the throes of a pennant race, how do you go down to Tampa and get swept by the hapless Rays? It sure didn’t help that Brian Roberts went 1-12 with four whiffs. Roberts has had a real quiet month and the O’s need to turn him around quickly if they are going to stay in the hunt.

How bout this comment from Scott Boras this morning? Speaking of Bernice Willaims, Boras said: “He wants to play beyond this year, A lot of people in baseball want Bernie Williams to play beyond this year.” This doesn’t pass the laugh test and its time that Scott reveal his sources. I got to know who in the baseball world thinks Bernice Williams is still a major league baseball player? Obviously, this man has no business wearing leather, but is his bat any better? The answer is yes but only by default. This is a guy who is hitting .240 and slugging just .350. Those are Mark Belhorn numbers .To make matters worse, he has just one home run at the stadium in 150 at bats. And lest you think this is a recent development – think again. Bernice has been a sub .800 OPS woman for three years now and she needs to get on her horse to make sure 2005 is not a sub .700 year. Williams is currently projected to drive in just 60 runs this year and there is almost no shot that anyone other then New York will pay decent money for such services. So that begs the question: will Bernice agree to play next year for what he is worth? Will he swallow a $2 million dollar contract to be a part time DH in Seattle or Cleveland? Hell, why not - $2 million is a lot more then he can make playing that dopey guitar.

Why in the world is everyone so fascinated with A.J. Burnett? Sure, he has some gas and he was impressive yesterday, but this guy has an ERA of 3.5 in the best pitcher’s park in the National League. Is there a guy more set up to fail once he arrives in the American League? A curious thing about Burnett is that right-handers hit him much harder then lefties, casting serious doubt over whether he would be a good fit for Fenway Park. This is a guy who has a 3.85 ERA on the road and that basically translates into an ERA of 4.2 in the AL. So why would anyone give up a serviceable player and a top prospect to acquire what amounts to be a middle of the rotation guy? I don’t get it and I will not be happy if the Sox give up Annabel Sanchez in order to bring this guy to Boston. Sanchez is a 21 year-old strike out machine that hits 95 with a plus change and a nice curve. That sounds a bit like 1994 Pedro to me and I’ll take a poor man’s Pedro over AJ any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

I hate to admit it, but it seems to me as if the Assholes are going to walk away with the National League Wildcard. This team is just scorching right now and they can do plenty of damage this week as the Phils and Mets come to the little Juice Box. Most people are aware of the year Roger Clemens is having, but there are other guys on that staff, like Dan Wheeler, who have been brilliant as well. In case you don’t believe me, check out Dan’s numbers: 46 Ks in 44 innings and an ERA of 1.61. That is good stuff, especially when it comes as the bridge from Clemens and Oswalt to Lidge.

July 12 - Grading out the National League

2005-07-12T00:33:00.000-07:00

Mid Season Grades – National League

MVP – Derrick Lee – His late injury almost cost him this award but he recovered by clubbing a couple of bombs when he returned. Pujols and Jones finish with the place and show.

Cy Young – It has to go to Willis, but the competition was fierce. There are a handful of starters in the NL who are having terrific seasons. This one will be undecided with two weeks to go. Keep an eye on Oswalt - his stuff has been filthy of late.

Rookie of the Year – Willy Taveras leads but Richie Weeks will be heard from.

Manager of the Year – I am not sure he has been awake, but this award always goes to the guy whose team outperforms and nobody has outperformed like Washington. Plus, Robby gets some points for that pine tar incident out in California.

Bust of the Year – Eric Milton – that one is a slam dunk. Other under-performers include Beltran, Lieber, Nomie, and Kolb.

Injury of the Year – Bonds in a landslide, but others worth mentioning include Loretta, Gagne, and Chipper. And yes, I know he started slow, but Nomie’s groin may have cost the Cubs dearly.

Rolaids Man – No contest – Mr. Cordero is a save machine at RFK

Anti-Rolaids Award - Danny Kolb narrowly over Braden Looper.

Super Sub – Tony Clark has been a microwave off the bench in Arizona.

Best UCLA Bruin – no contest – Chase Utley has emerged as a force in Philly.

Washington Nationals – (A+) - It is hard to dispute those pundits who claim the Nationals are the story of the season in the NL at the half-mile point. Nobody in baseball had these guys leading the NL EAST with 75 games to play, yet that is where they sit less then three months to go. The Nats have been fueled by ridiculous bullpen work that has allowed them to win more close games in recent months then anyone else in Washington, including Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY) who narrowly escaped defeat last November. Nick Johnson has been terrific, Jose Guillen is making people wonder what happened back in Anaheim and can anyone get to Chad Cordero with the game on the line. Cordero is such a tough closer that if he worked up on the Hill, Congress would never adjourn late. The Nats and Frank Robinson may not hold up and win the division, but they have probably done enough to secure a wild card spot so long as things don’t completely melt down in Washington this summer. Who would have thought back in April that the Nets would be doing better in July then President Bush’s private savings accounts?

Atlanta Braves – (A) - The Atlanta Braves remind me of that old Samonnite Luggage commercial where the gorilla throws around the suit cases all after noon but at the end of the day, the luggage looks good as new. You can do whatever you want to this team but it is pretty clear to me that at the end of the day, Bobby Cox and his crew will survive and make it to October. Can somebody please tell me how this team is eleven games over .500 without Chipper, a closer and three top-line starters? The cupboard to this kitchen is barer than bare, yet the Braves still chug along, grinding out wins with guys like Kelly Johnson, Wilson Betemit, and Jorge Sosa picking up the slack. Andruw Jones is having just a sick year and Smoltz has been a rock, but that shouldn’t have been enough to keep this team alive. But alive they are and with Tim Hudson and Mike Hampton poised to return, things are looking peachy in the Peach State. So peachy, in fact, that this guy thinks the Braves will once again win their division. With that said, another bat would sure help, particularly one who can play first base.

Florida (D+) - The Florida Marlins are just about the most disappointing team in baseball at this juncture, sitting just two games over .500. The big problem – they just can’t score runs. While the D-Train has been stellar, Mike Lowell has been a created less damage at the plate then a stage II hurricane does when it comes ashore on the panhandle. If you put Mike Lowell and Kevin Millar at the corners of an infield, you may not have enough power to light a small building. If Lowell’s problems weren’t enough, Juan Pierre has been thoroughly mediocre all year (heating up a bit of late) and Josh Beckett has had trouble both staying healthy and pitching on the road. Aside from Willis, the bright spot for Florida has once again been Miguel Cabrerra who might some day have a shot to compete for the triple crown if he didn’t have to play his home games at that National Park down in South Florida. You put him in Philly or Cincy and he would be talked about like his last name was Pujols. This team has about two weeks to turn it around – if they are middling around .500 with sixty to go, the bet here is AJ Burnett will find himself in the AL and Jack McKeown will find himself out of a job.

The New York Mets – (C) – What else would you give a team that has bounced around .500 all year, never straying more then four games in one direction or the other? While Pedro has been terrific and Cliff Floyd has been a monster during two big spurts, the rest of the team has been pretty meek. The FTC is investigating whether Carlos Beltran was falsely advertised and even Golden Boy Dave Wright is on pace for not much more then a 20-85 season. The Mets do have some stars, but they have little at second, nothing at first and a finisher in the bullpen that couldn’t find a finish line with a map and a guide-dog. This is a team that needs to think about next year and that means sitting Glavine before his contract vests and determining where Aaron Heilmann fits in on this staff. Can you imagine the stink the players union will make if Glavine is idled or sent to the pen. Mets fans rejoice - just another 75 games with Mike Piazza. Even after he's long gone, I am sure Mets fans will still call into WFAN to bitch about Mr. P.

Philladelphia – (C-) - The Phillies are teetering on the abyss and even that success is only due to an anomalous burst around Memorial Day. This team is much further away from competing then anyone in Philly or the national media would care to admit, as it is stuck with an absolute albatross at first, and a black hole at third. Jim Thome should really think about giving the Phils a discount because if he keeps this up, the DA down there might try to indict Thome for stealing with a non-lethal weapon. David Bell’s offense is not quite as obscene, but if I were the DA, I would hit him with a misdemeanor petty theft charge. Meanwhile, the staff was thin to begin with and it has been absolutely torn to shreds at home. On the bright side, Chase Utley is developing into an offensive force and everyone now knows Bobby A can smack the ball. Nonetheless, at this juncture, the Phils should be active sellers in the coming weeks. They have a jewel in farmhand Ryan Howard, but with Jim Thome ahead of him, they need to find a way to play him or trade him. Further, they should also consider dumping Billy Wagner who is heading into a walk year and is unlikely to be of much service to a fifth place club down the stretch.

St. Louis – (A-) - It is a bit hard to score St. Louis since they have played very well but expectations were very high. On the one hand, its hard to dock the kid who got the highest grade on the test, but what if that kid is widely known to be the smartest kid on the class and the score was a bit below perfect? That is the problem facing St. Louis – a team that clearly excelled, but has had some lapses, especially of late (split @ home with Colorado and losing a series at Cincy). The front of the Cards staff has been great as Chris Carpenter has been an ace and Matt Morris has proven to be one of the best bargains in the league. And while Mark Mulder has been a bit ordinary and Jeff Suppan continues to struggle at home, this staff had as good a first half as any in the major leagues. Albert Pujols has been his usual amazing self, but the big surprise has come from Reggie Sanders, whose bombs have helped offset some of the offense that was lost when Scott Rolen went down. I really think one of the keys to this team staying in the hunt is whether Larry Walker can stay healthy for one last go around. With his bat in the lineup, the Cards have the requisite balance they need, but when he is out, the Cards are a bit too right-handed. As such, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Cards go out and get some left-handed insurance to help them down the stretch.

Houston (B-) - Houston is like one of those smart kids who goofed off early in the semester and suddenly realized that it wanted to go to college and needed to get off its ass. They have surged of late behind some excellent pitching and an offense that has shown signs of life, but can they overcome such a huge deficit? My guess is they will not be able to secure that wildcard and when it’s all said and done, the Assholes will be a bit of a disappointment. Cleary, the Astros have had some bright spots, and it all starts with Roger Clemens and the incredible year he is having. But don’t shortchange either Lee Harvey Oswalt or Morgan Ensberg – two guys who are quietly putting together superb years. I know Clemens is having a tremendous year, but check out Lee Harvey’s numbers at Minute Maid – guys are only hitting .211 off him at that little ginger bread stadium. As far as the offense goes, this has been an important year for Houston as they learned Ensberg is a legitimate middle of the order guy and Willy Taveras has a shot of being a decent leadoff guy (.296 with 22 steals). The problem is there isn’t too much behind them. Lance Berkman’s power is down slightly, Jason Lane has been spotty and Chris Burke has shown he isn’t quite ready to take over from Craig Biggio just yet. Speaking of Biggio – the second baseman, who will turn 40 in December, is slugging near .500. Not too bad for a broken down old man.

Chicago: (B-) - This was a solid B ten days ago but the Cubs really limped into the break and therefore they get a late inning deduction. Nonetheless, I have to give them some credit here for not folding when incoming artillery shells began exploding and bodies started dropping. This club basically has Derrick Lee, Aramis Ramirez and a bunch of conscripts. There is no denying that Lee and Ramirez have been huge, and Burnitz has been helpful at times, but Neifi Perez is coming in hard and Carlee Paterson (.202 on the road) has dropped off the face of Michigan Avenue. Meanwhile, the staff has been ordinary at best and that statement accounts for all the injuries. After all, just because Prior missed some starts doesn’t mean Carlos Zambrano and Greg Maddux should have pitched as poorly as they have. Zambrano is a real strange case because for some strange reason he walks a ton of lefties and gets hit real hard away from Wrigley. Questions for the second half include: Does Mr. Hamm get back out there and prove April was a fluke? After all, if he doesn’t pull it together, he will be playing for just a couple million bucks next year. Secondly, will Derrick Lee keep this magical season going and up being the first national league triple crown winner since Ducky Medwick? Last, and most importantly, will Kerry Wood be able to warm up in August without tearing up his shoulder once again? If this guy were a window washer, he would spend half his year collecting workman’s compensation.

Milwaukee (B) - How can I give such a grade to a team that is four under .500 at this point in the season? Well, in my humble estimation, the Brewers are doing everything right while laying a solid foundation to compete in 2006 and 2007. They are getting their kids ready and those kids are showing they will be a load come next April. It starts up in the infield where Bill Hall and Richie Weeks both look like they will be potent offensive players. JJ Hardy is not the offensive player that these two are – at least not yet – but his emergence could force Hall to third or Weeks to center. I wouldn’t go so far as to say these three represent an embarrassment of riches, but they are a pretty solid group. Elsewhere, Carlos Lee is having a terrific year and although Brady Clark is almost my age, he is also doing a great job in center for the Brew Crew. And before you jump on this club for having spotty pitching, you should be warned that they are fifth in the NL in ERA. Capuano and Santos are both having solid years and if Sheets can return to his 2004 form and become an ace, this staff is fairly deep. By the way, take a look at Capuano’s splits – he is basically the grim reaper against lefties. If he could somehow figure out a way to keep right-handers in check, he could develop into a big winner. From here on out, the Brewers need to determine what role Prince Fielder will play for the big club come next April. If Fielder proves himself, Lyle Overbay becomes expendable and he will surely bring back value in a trade. The Brewers are a team on the rise and a nice second half could be the springboard they need in order to compete in 2006.

Pittsburgh – (C+) - What you see is what you get. The Bucs have basically traded in line all year. They were a cheap stock to begin the year and they are still pretty cheap. Sure, they had a little run to keep Pirates fan interested, but inter-league play hurt and now they are back on pace for their customary 73 win season. But there is hope and there have been some positive signs over the first half. First Jose Castillo has emerged and he looks like a fixture at second for years to come. Second, Zach Duke looks like the real deal. Unfortunately, that basically covers the positives. Sure, Mark Redman was a nice pickup and Dave Williams has thrown fairly well, but lets not go crazy. Sure, Jason Bay looks like a player, but the rest of that outfield is simply harmless. Can someone please explain to me what Teke Redman’s role on this team is? This guy has an OPS of .720 with only two steals. If you gave Mark Redman all of Teke’s at bats, I think there is a shot he would put up better numbers.

Cincy – (D) - The Reds are just putrid and don’t say they are merely playing down to expectations because nobody expected them to be this bad. That staff, headlined by Eric Milton and Ramon Ortiz is an absolute disgrace and the offense seems destined to take out the major league record for strikeouts in a single season. The worst offender in that lineup is Willy Mo Pena who has 58 Ks in 172 plate appearances. With numbers like that, the fans in Cincy should start calling him Willie Mo Belhorn. Adam Dunn isn’t much better with 94 whiffs in 290 at bats but at least Dunn uncorks a three run bomb every so often. Are there teams, other then the Pep Boys, really standing in line to acquire Willie Mo’s services? For that matter, who wants Austin Kearns or Sean Casey? Teams looking at Casey should be warned since he has been just a .400 slugger for three of the past four years. And while he sports a high OBP, he also leads the majors in Double Plays. I’ll pass.

San Diego – (B) Now I expected San Diego to win this division and they have played well considering all their injuries, but truth be told, this lead should be more comfortable. Yes, Peavy and Eaton have thrown well this year, but neither has dominated like they are capable. Peavy, in particular, went into the break with two poor outings and he really hasn’t shown much consistency since Memorial Day. The big upside for San Diego thus far has been the bullpen where guys like Scott Linebrink, Chris Hammond and Rudy Seanz have done a splendid job. While Peavy could have been better, the problems for Los Madres have been on offense where injuries have really taken hold. Losing Mark Loretta early was a killer and there is no one on that bench who could fill Phil nevin’s shoes this month. Brian Giles has quietly pulled his year together, but at the end of the day, this team just doesn’t score many runs. Part of that is the fault of Sean Burroughs, who for some reason has not shown much power since the 1992 Little League World Series. If this squad can get Loretta back and swinging and find a third baseman to take Burroughs slot, they should be able to pull away fairly easily. This may not be a great team, but they should be able to piece together at least 88 wins and that should win the West with a week to go.

Arizona – (B) - The D Backs have begun to slide of late but after last year, anything at this point is gravy. Although they find themselves four under .500, that is well beyond where the D Backs were a year ago and probably a handful of games ahead of where I expected them to be. Had Brandon Lyon not gotten hurt, this team probably would be playing .500 baseball, and that isn’t bad for a team that won just fifty-one games last year. As I have been saying for weeks, the big surprise in Phoenix has been the play of Tony Clark who should get some kind of award for best guy off the bench. This guy is just murdering right-handed pitching, and at the BOB, Clark is money in the bank. Another guy worth noting is Craig Counsell who is quietly having a real solid year, particularly against right-handers. I know Theo reads my stuff and that is why I stuck that in there. Message to Theo – Get Craig Counsell. Meanwhile, Chad Tracy has shown flashes for Arizona while Troy Glaus is proving that the Dbacks probably stretched a bit to bring him to the desert. He’s not a stiff and his power was needed, but Jeff Moorad overpaid for this throwback slugger.

Los Angeles – C – Nothing has gone right for this club since they started off on that ten-day roll. It seems like someone new got hurt everyday.. First it was Jose Valentin. Then it was Bradley. Then Gagne went down and now Drew is hurt. Even Mr. Sunshine – Jeff Kent – tweaked himself last week, proving that even jerks sometimes get hurt. The cruel thing about the Drew injury is JD had actually recovered from a horrible early slump and was playing well of late. As for the staff, Brad Penny has been steady, but Derrick Lowe and Jeff Weaver have done little to earn their huge salaries. The same can be said of Odalis Perez who would be much better off if he never had to throw on the road (His WHIP is twice as high on the road as it is at home). But whom are we kidding? Even if Lowe, Weaver and Perez had outperformed, this offense doesn’t scare anybody and now with Drew out, the drought will continue. After remembering that this team got swept in KC, I am lowering its grade to a C minus.

San Francisco – D – Like the Dodgers, San Francisco has just been decimated by injuries, but what do you expect when your team is the oldest in baseball. I am not going to give Brian Sabean a break on this one. He has been shunning youth for years and it finally caught up to him. This club was put together to win this year and it has crapped out. Sure, you can argue that no team could afford to lose a player like Bonds and losing Benitez was freakish. But these excuses don’t explain everything. That sure doesn’t explain Jason Schmidt’s year. And they sure don’t explain what is going on with guys like Rueter, Lowry, Tomko, Snow and Grissolm. Take a look at Snow’s numbers in particular – Frosty has just 19 RBI and 13 extras in 215 plate appearances. That guy has been as cold as his last name suggests. And if you want to know just how bad things are in SF, all you need to know is Jeff Fassero has the lowest ERA of any pitcher who has started at least three games. For those not familiar with Fassero, it should be noted that he was born ten months before Kennedy was shot and I am talking about John and not Bobby. Pure and simple – this club stinks. There are a ton of old broken down guys with huge contracts and Giants fan should not expect this patient to heal anytime soon.

Colorado – C- I give the Rockies a C because they are no worse then I thought they would be. Hey, how can you say that Colorado disappointed when there were no expectations to begin with. Sure, there have been a couple of bright spots. Jeff Francis is a nice looking kid and Clint Barmes showed he could play before he hurt himself lifting some deer meat. But does it really matter? At the end of the day, this is a horrible organization that plays in a city that has lost interest in this franchise.

July 6 - Crazy Lou's Tampa Experiment

2005-07-06T13:51:00.000-07:00

It is being reported this morning that Lou Pinella is planning on doing something that I have long thought was an interesting idea. Rather then “start” his starting pitcher, Lou intends to start a middle reliever and pitch him for a couple innings before coming in with his “starter” to begin pitching the third or fourth. I suspect Lou is going to catch some hell for this and many will think Sweet Lou has finally lost it, but I think the idea merits a look. At the very least, Lou’s idea may shake up the opposing team’s plans, causing it to re-think its starting lineup. After all, if a manager wants to stack his lefties against the right-hander Lou plans to pitch after the second, he may run the risk that his lefties will meet a lefty in those early innings. In other words, Lou may be able to lock in some favorable matchups early in the game that he would not be able to get in later innings when the opposing manager is more willing to use his bench. Moreover, this move may take some of the pressure off Lou’s middle relievers who clearly have proven they cannot pitch under the pressure of holding a lead. Perhaps it would be smarter to let these guys pitch with a clean slate. It may not end up making a difference when Travis Harper throws, but its worth a shot to let guys like Harper lead off rather then anchor. With the Rays season going nowhere quickly, Lou’s experiment is worth a look.

I think the happiest people in the world right now are the folks at Fox News who must be ecstatic that the French had the olympics stolen out from under their nose by the English. Bashing the French is a cornerstone of that network, making today's news on the Olympic selection a gift from god for Ruppert and his minnions. How long will it be before Fox starts suggesting that the Olympics were awarded to London because of England's support for the Iraq war? As I write, Brit and Bill are probably lining up guests to confirm their vacuous speculation on this subject. Now the French are screaming bloody murder over today's snub, but in my mind, even this gift for England doesn't make the two countries even. After all, who do the French think were protecting their left flank back in 1915. I should point out that this is not the first time in history the British scored a big victory over the French in the fifth year of a a century. After all, who can forget 1805 when Lord Nelson pitched a shutout against the French at the Battle of Trafalgar.

I find it very interesting that the New York tabloids have been silent on this story that ESPN’s Chad Ford has been reporting. According to Chad, the Knicks are trying to overhaul their roster and that includes finding a new home for Steve Marbury. While the NBA is on life support in New York, this story still qualifies as news so long as it is directionally correct. After all, Steve is a local kid and he’s the one player that has some cache in the Big Apple. With that said, where are the New York Post and the Daily News on this story? If Ford is right on this one, the tabs are absolutely getting body slammed in their own backyard. I figure one of three things has happened here. First, Ford has it right and the tabs are too embarrassed by the scoop to report the story until it breaks more publicly. This is a pretty juvenile strategy but both the News and the Post have never been mistaken as stand-up papers. The second possibility is Ford has been misled and his story is wrong, but if this were the case, I suspect the News and the Post would be running vengeful “gotcha” stories claiming ESPN messed this one up. A third option is that the tabs have been unable to confirm – one way or the other – whether Ford’s story is correct, and with no clue of what is happening in their own living room, the Tabs have chosen to stay silent. I suspect the prize goes to option three and that is a disgrace for a couple of papers that specialize in hawking gossip.

There may not be a colder team in baseball right now then the Baltimore Orioles. They have run into some hot teams, but that is no excuse for this recent swoon. All of a sudden, this team’s offense is sputtering and its shaky staff is shivering to death. It all adds up to a 2-12 record since the Birds finished off the Rockies on June 19th. The poster child for the collapse is Sammy Sosa who is now moping after being demoted to part-time DH. Sammy has just nine bombs this year and is now hitting under .200 against right-handers. There is now talk that Sosa – who will be a free agent this winter - will not survive in baseball long enough to hit his 600th home run. Such talk was unfathomable last winter when most assumed that Sammy was going to take huge advantage of the jet flow that runs out to right center at Camden. For all that bluster, Sammy has hit exactly two home runs at home. Now Sammy did miss home series against KC and Philly, but that does not fully explain his power outage in Maryland.

Yankee Yoddle: Well, the Yanks won their fourth straight yesterday as Randy Johnson came back on three days rest to shut down the ailing O’s. So let me get this straight, Randy complains about pitching on long rest but has nothing critical to say when his “routine” is upset and he is forced to go early? I hope the New York beat reporters remember this when Randy complains that a five-minute delay led him to give up two first inning bombs. What is wrong with AROD? In case you haven’t been watching, and most Yankees fans haven’t, the gayest of the gay has been largely silent for the last six weeks. Sure, he hit a meaningless bomb yesterday – what else is new – but take a look at his stats since May 27th. Since that date, Gayrod has only four bombs and 18 RBI in 132 at bats. That basically translates into a 20/80 year. I guess Alex doesn’t like hitting in that four hole since his slide basically coincides with his move up the order. By the way, he’s 3 for his last 27, but help is on the way as Cleveland comes in for four and he has a nice resume against a bunch of Indian hurlers. Based on a limited sampling, I get the feeling Yankee fans are a bit concerned that Manny Ramirez will soon erase Lou Gehrig’s grand slam record. Manny hit his 20th slam last night and he now trails The Horse by only three atomic bombs. Unless Manny wakes up tomorrow with ALS, that record is gone by the end of 2006. For some insane reason, I think the loss of this record is going to sting some Yankee fans even though most couldn’t tell the difference between Lou Gehrig and Lou Grant. And God help Yankee fans if Johnny Damon keeps this hitting streak going for another month because that could push some over the edge. Just imagine JD taking out Mr. Coffee. I think it bugs Yankee fans that the only untouchable record in baseball resides in Boston.

July 5 - Kobayashi Ace/Venus Double Faults

2005-07-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

Who is the most dominant athlete in sport today? Annika? Federer? Tiger? Phelps? Lance? Bode? Josh the Newfoundland? These are all worthy contenders, but for my $1.50, I am going with Takeru Kobayashi – the undisputed hot dog eating champion of the world. Lest you missed it yesterday, Kobayashi once again dominated this year’s Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating contest out there at Coney Island, devouring 49 dogs in a dozen minutes. That equates to a hot dog every fifteen seconds. What is more amazing is that early in the contest, before fatigue set in, some of those dogs were going down every eight seconds. I am not sure a Kodiak could keep that kind of pace up for very long. This is Kobayashi’s fifth straight victory in what is certainly the most prestigious event on the world’s competitive eating-circuit. While Takeru’s performance on Monday fell short of his world dog record (53), he was never challenged and ended up finishing twelve triglyceride bombs clear of his nearest competitor. That is a staggering winning margin which ranks up there with Secretariat at the Belmont, the U.S. Navy over the Japanese at Leyte Gulf, and Nixon over McGovern. Kobayashi was basically 30 percent better then runner up Sonya “Black Widow” Jones, a Virginian who set an American Record on Monday by downing an impressive 37 nine-inchers. Now Jones says she is working hard to catch Kobayashi, but it seems like a stretch to think the Black Widow will be able to winnow that dozen hot dog gap anytime soon so long as Kobayashi stays healthy. And hell, even if he came down with some awful acid reflux, Kobayashi could probably stomach enough dogs to defend his title next year. But before you cry any tears for Jones, you should know that hot dogs are probably not her best event. Last December, she polished off 89 meatballs in 12 minutes and she is supposedly lights out when it comes to wings. She may not be Kobayashi’s peer on dogs, but I will put her up there in a food-eating decathlon.

Trivia Question – Which 1995 pseudo classic featured a character named Kobayashi?

What was with Venus Williams and that never ending outpouring of child-like giddiness she showed on Saturday after winning the Woman’s Singles Final at Wimbledon? Hey, I applaud those who unleash a healthy and good-spirited helping of genuine emotion, but Venus’ five act play went at least two acts too long. Here is a message to Ms. Williams – try acting like you have been there before. After all, this was her fifth grand slam title, but nobody could have discerned that after watching her childish theatrics go on and on and on. Her celebration was gratuitous and as far as I can recall, it was basically without precedent. After all, when was the last time you can recall an Olympian doubled over from laughter while receiving a gold medal? Now the argument on Williams’ behalf is she has come back from some injuries and she did win Wimbledon as a double-digit seed. Sure, that is a nice story and it probably is about as compelling as tennis gets, but we aren’t talking about Dan Jansen or Lance Armstrong here. After ten minutes of jubilant celebration, Venus probably should have been escorted to her front row seats in the Theatre of the Absurd. Her celebration on center court was not only annoying to the casual observer like myself, but it had to drive her opponent – Lindsay Davenport – to the brink of insanity. Here was Davenport, nursing a bad back that almost certainly cost her the match, having to look on and watch Venus do an impression of a thirteen year-old Jewess who just learned that Shawn Green would be attending her Bat Mitzvah. Had I been Davenport, I would have given strong thought to the idea of going WWE on Venus and slamming her over the head with that silver runner-up plate. Can you imagine that sight? Better yet, can you imagine what that would have done to Mary Carillo who most certainly checked her objectivity card at the curb when she showed up Saturday to support Venus? The strange thing about Venus is she has usually displayed a certain amount of grace when she has been on the losing end of big matches – perhaps because many of those came against her little sister. Regardless, she should play it both ways. I have to admit that Saturday’s final was a great match and it earned Williams some points. But in my book, she gave some of those points back with that post-match unforced error.

Although they are parked in first place at the half-mile pole, 2.5 lengths clear, the Boston Red Sox appear headed straight for the abyss. The fact of the matter is Boston cannot get 27 outs right now. I saw some stats this weekend on the Tampa bullpen that were staggering (seven losses after leading through eight) but the guys up in Boston might have the Rays beat. The mess in the Sox bullpen got worse last night when Keith Foulke came into a 5-4 game and proceeded to get only a single out before Texas plated the winning run. This followed a similar meltdown last Tuesday where Mr. Brightside got clobbered by Travis Hafner and the Tribe. Here is the telling number -12. That is not Foulke’s shoe size – it’s his earned run average in save situations this year. Last night, he looked like a terrifed buck who knows the oncoming eighteen-wheeler is going to smack his change up. His confidence is absolutely shot and there is certainly reason to think his career as a closer is coming to an end. This is Derrick Lowe in 2001 all over again. Hell, if the Sox knew Foulke was going to pitch this way, they probably would have kept BH Kim. The Sox problem doesn’t end with Foulke. Alan Embree has been a nightmare and Mike Timlin can’t get anyone out so long as an inherited runner is on base. In a nutshell, the Sox have a tremendous problem that needs to be solved or this team is destined to slog through a mediocre and frustrating second half. Bronson Arroyo’s imminent return to the pen will help but this team needs to find someone to get those final three outs. Oh, and while he’s at it, Theo should probably think about securing a first baseman who can reach the warning track.

Trivia Answer – the Usual Suspects – Kobayashi was Kaiser’s lawyer, the man who brought the deal to the suspects.

Make no mistake about it – the Toronto Blue Jays are a team on the come. These Birds have flown under the radar screen this year, but this club is quietly marshalling for a big push in 2006 and 2007. This is an aggressive club that has some good young pitching and Aaron Hill looks like the real deal. More importantly, this club is poised to be a big spender in the off-season as ownership has said it is willing to up its current $50 million payroll by an additional $20 million. If they can somehow dump Eric Hinskie, the Jays will have an additional $5 million gift certificate to spend on a corner outfielder. GM J.P. Richardi is a smart dude and even though the 2005 off-season market will be light, he will be able to do some good with this money. With Roy Halladay and Vernon Wells both signed through 2007, this club has a real chance make waves over the next couple of seasons.

Aside from a few guys on the Yankees, is there a more overpaid player in baseball than Darrin Erstad? This misplaced first baseman makes $8 million per year, yet his OPS numbers resemble that of middling middle infielders like Nick Punto or Tony Graffanino. If you throw away his anomalous 2000 season, Darrin has never slugged .500 or hit .300, yet he is paid like a guy who wields an almost lethal stick. The numbers tell a big part of the story - since the beginning of the 2003 season, Erstad has hit only 15 bombs in more then 1000 at bats. Granted, Erstad was never a slugger, but his long ball ratio is clearly inadequate, especially since he is hardly the place setter he once was. You have to wonder what prompted the Angles to give this guy all that money, particularly since he under-whelmed in his 2002 contract year (.283 with 10 home runs). You can bet that the Angels won’t make the same mistake when Erstad’s contract expires after next season.

How did Cesar Izturis make the National League All-Star team? This is guy who is hitting .275 with an OBP of less then .300. When you throw in that .350 slugging percentage, you get an OPS of something around.650. I understand that Cesar is a great defensive player and his numbers looked a lot better around Memorial Day, but the last time I checked, June counts. And why did Tony LaRussa feel compelled to take a third shortstop? He could have just as easily selected another second baseman and both Chase Utley and Marcus Giles were more deserving then Izturis. I suspect that if Jose Vidro had not gotten hurt and continued on his April pace, he would have been the choice over CI. Moreover, had Rockie shortstop Clint Barmes not hurt himself carrying groceries, I’m guessing he would also have been selected ahead of Izturis. It makes you wonder what LaRussa was thinking. And before you think Cesar may have lit up Tony’s Cards earlier this year – guess again since the Cards and Dodgers have not yet played each other.

How is this for mind- boggling – I actually listened to a radio interview on Sunday where WFAN’s Ed Randall attempted to analyze what was going to happen at the MLB all-star game late this month. He was breaking it down, telling listeners how the AL is going to run all over Mike Piazza and why both managers would be well served if they favored speed over sluggers at spacious Comerica. Was Ed kidding? Was this a skit, because if it wasn’t, it was tantamount to a 1970s show where a couple of jokers attempt to break down what will happen on the following week’s Battle of the Network Stars. The funny thing about this was Ed was downright serious. He prefaced the whole debate by saying the MLB all-star game is clearly the best and most important of any professional all-star game, including both indoor soccer and the Davis Cup. Ed, there are no prizes for being best amongst the worst. While its true the MLB all-star game used to have some cache, that has not been the case since around the time Bo Jackson hit that bomb at the Big A back in the late 80s, Bud and his boys attempted to soup up the game in recent years by awarding home field in the World Series to the winner, but that only moves the game slightly to the left of the NIT and the Alamo Bowl on the irrelevant spectrum. The fact of the matter is that the all-star game is a pre-historic beast that probably should be shelved. Lets just name the teams and do away with the game altogether. After all, we would still have the home run hitting contest and isn’t that enough? I can’t wait until next week when Ed breaks it down and tells me who I should take in that ridiculous charade.

July 1 - Fourth of July Fodder

2005-07-01T12:48:00.000-07:00

Some Independence Day thoughts:

Is Richard Scrushy insane? The recently acquitted looter of HealthSouth is now asking the company’s board to reinstate him as CEO. This is a bit like O.J. Simpson asking Avis for his job back or Robert Blake asking CBS to cast him in Baretta Returns. Hey Dick, just because some crackers down in Birmingham let you slide, doesn't mean you are innocent. The Justice Department really screwed this one up since trying Scrushy in Alabama is a bit trying a Nazi in Munich. Heck, if Himmler had been tried at the Berchtasgarden for war crimes, he would have walked on every major count except slander. Sometimes these prosecutors jsut refuse to acknowledge that there is something called a home court advantage in things other then sport. With that said, god help Chuck Dolan if he is ever caught stealing from Cablevision because there is not a jury in his home town of New York City that would shy away from locking that clown up for life.

Kudos are in order for whoever said they were surprised the Portland Trailblazers didn't select Baylor outside shooter Carlton Dotson. That is good stuff.

Here is a quote from Yankee President Randy Levine regarding Gary Sheffield: “We APPLAUD Gary Sheffield for appealing this [suspension]” What the hell is this – the House of Representatives where words like applaud and commend are tossed around like sea bass at a Seattle fish market. Take it easy Randy – Gary’s pro forma decision to appeal his two-game suspension was not exactly heroic. In fact, it is just about as routine as those fly balls that Bernie has made a habit of dropping. Just imagine what Randy what have said if Gary have rescued a cat from a tree. "Today, Gary Sheffield performed an act of heroism that makes everyone in this organization proud. If it weren't for Gary's selfless act in the face of great danger, we may have lost Whiskey for good."

Speaking of suspensions – Steve Kline was outraged the league gave him a four game hook for arguing a balk early this week. “It’s a joke, I’ve seen worse then what I did.” Yeah, so have I but guests on Springer don't count. Steve totally flipped out the other night over something that was correctly called. If I were Bud Selig, I would give him a fifth game for ignorance and invited him to appear on the next MLB installment of "When Ballplayers Attack."

I love this little brouhaha going on between the Yanks and the Mets over who approached who about trading Gary Sheffield. The Yankees are obviously going out of their way to convince their sophomoric star that the Mets conceived the trade while the Mets are telling the New York Post that it was the Yankees who got this whole ball rolling. Listen, I am not sure who started this whole thing but both side’s motives are clear. For the Yankees, the last thing they want to do is let Sheffield think they don’t want him. Once that happens, its game over – the Yanks will have the most insufferable player in baseball starting in right field. If you think he is a butcher out there now – just wait until he starts dogging it. Meanwhile, the Mets are clearly trying to convince New Yorkers that the Yankees are the desperate soul at this dance. Tired of being portrayed as the ugly bitch, the Mets are trying to paint the Yanks as the ones who came with hat in hand. The one thing I really like about this story is the Post not letting it die simply because the Yankees said it was over. Its odd, but these press savvy guys in the Bronx just don’t understand that reporters don’t like being told they are wrong – especially when they are right.

Texas was right on the verge of being knocked out of the AL West this week before they rallied to beat the Angels on Wednesday and Thursday. Alfonso Soriano had gone 1-22 in the previous five games against the Angles, but he perked up by going 5-11 in the Rangers two big wins this week. Mark Texiera had a huge month for Texas – Slugging .611 with nine bombs and 29 RBI. He should not only start the all-star game but he should play all nine innings.

ESPN came out with their ridiculous ESPY award nominations this week and it got me wondering how in the world they did not nominate the beach volleyball tandem of Misty May and Kerri Walsh in the best team category? Over the past two years, Maya and Walsh have won 19 of the 26 professional tournaments they entered. Oh yea, they also won an Olympic gold medal. They may not have punked the Steelers or come back from a three game to zero deficit against the Yankess, but they, along with the U.S. Women’s softball team, were probably the most dominant teams in sport last year. So why am I not marketing the softball team for a nomination. Simple - I would rather look at Walsh then Lisa Fernandez and that 225 pound slugger who played third base for Team USA.

The Arizona Diamond Backs are doing a great job right now of proving April was a fluke. By losing last night, the rattlers finished June at a not so pretty 9-19. One problem for Arizona has been starting pitching, which aside from Brandon Webb, has been downright lousy. Jay Vasquuez, in particular, had a miserable June, posting an ERA over six. He gave up ten or more hits on three occasions over the past month. Imagine where this team would be without super-sub Tony Clark. He may finish the first half with 50 RBI in less then 175 at bats. That extrapolates out to a 150 RBI year with a full complement of plate appearances. That isn’t too bad for a guy who I thought should be teaching sixth grade.

It is pretty hard to imagine of any player in baseball who had a worse month than Dodger Cesar Izturis. Take a look at these numbers. Cesar hit just .105 in June while slugging a geriatric .116. Further, he was 9-86 with zero RBI, one double and just five runs scored. Both Dennis Kozlowski and Iranian Reformists had better months then Cesar.

Carlos Lee is my NL player of the month – He hit .377 with 10 bombs and 28 RBI. The General gets the nod over Chad Cordero who seemed to earn a save every night last month. Let the record show that Cordero had 15 saves in June – throwing 16 innings without giving up a single run. If George Bush were smart, he would hightail it down to RFK and hire Chad to save his Social Security reform effort before it goes down the toilet. On second thought, that can’t work since you can’t save a game you trail 16-3.

The Oakland A’s have got it going right now as they open a big three game series with Chicago tonight. They went 19-8 in June and in the process, they have climbed their way back into the wildcard hunt. Harden is a good for a win tonight and it will be interesting to see if they can get one off either Garland or Buehrle on Saturday and Sunday. Danny Haren probably wishes June had 40 days since he had a perfect 5-0 month. Over the last 11 games – Oakland starters are 10-0 with an ERA around 1.50. Since when did this staff become the 1963 Dodgers?

You think the Yankees are still pining for Jon Lieber? The Gas Can is now just 8-8 with an ERA over five after getting knocked around yesterday at Shea. He certainly has been a victim of that rat hole they call Citizen Bank Park, but he has not exactly been a road warrior either. Since April, Lieber has simply been Milton-esque.

June 28 - Prickie V's Draft Day Dodge

2005-06-29T02:55:00.000-07:00

Dick “the Prick” Vitale is in mid-season form and we are still six months away from the start of conference play. Lest you missed it this moring, and I am sure you did, Dick was asked to give his “winners and losers” assessment of the NBA draft. So on the winner’s side, he listed seven teams – Charlotte, New Orleans, Minnesota, Utah, Boston, New York and Los Angeles. Meanwhile, on the loser’s side, he singled out only Toronto as a franchise that had its head up its own ass. Oh yea, he did mention three other clubs as losers, but they only showed up on this side of the ledger because they didn’t have picks. Prickie Veee really went out on the limb with that one. As expected, the Godfather of Crap once again refused to criticize anyone in his fraternity and went out of his way to congratulate all those who selected players from UNC. So according to Dick, everyone wins on draft night except those who don’t have invites. That is some party. It is almost as if this were a senior prom and the only kid who didnt get laid was the fat Canadian kid. When it comes to the draft, there simply are no bad picks as far as Prick is concerned - just like there are no bad point guards in the ACC and no bad coaches roaming the sidelines in the Big 12. Aside from jumping on Toronto a bit for selecting Charlie Villanueva and being a bit tepid on some of the foreign selections, Dickie V was all sunshine on the morning after. This is standard fare for a guy who will receive half his pension from the Grand Optimists Club of America. I have said it once and I will say it again – it is disgraceful that a guy born without a skeptical bone in his body is paid to offer analytic insight.

That was an absolute car wreck in Boston last night as Mike Timlin and Keith Foulke were unable to protect an 8-5 eighth inning lead. Timlin was bad, but Foulke was downright horrific as he gave up five ninth inning runs to seal Boston’s fate. I am not sure what happened over the off-season, but Keith Foulke is not the same guy who pitched brilliantly for the Sox at the end of last season. His velocity is down and he hits his spots about as often as a general speaks candidly with the press. There is some talk that his knee is bothering him but who cares at this point since his ERA in save opportunities is in double digits. At this point, Terry Francona and GM Theo Epstein have to consider looking at other alternatives since this bullpen just cannot get to the finish line without a large cushion, and even that wasn’t good enough last night. So where can the Sox turn? Well, with Curt Schilling coming back, Bronson Arroyo could be headed to the pen and that could help, especially against tough righties, but I don’t think BA is ready to close. Cla Merideth has been decent at AAA (22Ks in 21 IP, but an ERA close to three), but his first shot at the majors was not good and its tough to see a rookie closing games in Boston. With the internal options being poor, the Sox need to start looking for an import and I suggest Theo does what it takes to pry Eddie Guardado from the Mariners. The M’s are clearly going to be sellers and the Egg Man – EG for short - would be a perfect replacement for Alan Embree. Moreover, Everyday Eddie could probably close and that is probably what will be needed given Foulke’s problems. If they can get Guardado and pair him with Timlin and Arroyo, the Sox could be back in business. Until that time, no lead is safe when the Sox are on the field.

So have the Yankess finally gotten so desperate that they are contemplating parting ways with Gary Sheffield? That is the story out this morning in several New York papers that say Sheff could be traded to the Mets for Mike Cameron and Miguel Cairo. Wow. Sheff for Cameron says a few things to me: The Yankess are desperate for an outfielder who can catch, the Yanks are tired of Sheff’s crap in the clubhouse, and the Yanks are basically ready to throw in the towel on 2005. I think the Yankees are thinking in the right direction on this one, but to trade Sheff and only get Cameron in return is not the answer. Cameron is a decent player, but he is no cornerstone and he certainly is not a long-term solution for the Yankees. All his addition will do is end this season and cast a cloud over 2006. After all, Hideki Matsui is currently unsigned for 2006 so the Yanks will end 2005 with possible openings at both corner spots and Cameron signed to play center. With little on the free agent market, the Yanks could be back to having guys like Juan Rivera and Karim Garcia playing in the outfield come opening day. Getting back to 2005, losing Sheff for Cameron is tantamount to raising the white flag. Sure, Cameron would help that outfield defense, but he can’t possibly replace Sheff’s bat in a lineup that already struggles to come up with big hits. And once Sheff is gone, who is going to play right? Fifty-seven year old Ruben Sierra? If this trade comes off, I will be jacked since it will drive a dagger through the hearts of all Yankee fans who are only just beginning to see how hard it is too re-load when there are no bullets available. I can’t think of a better mid-year gift.

What has gotten into the Atlanta Braves? What have they done since I compared them to the Gereman Army post Battle of the Bulge? Well, they have won 10 of 12 and five straight without a number of regulars. They are doing it with a bunch of enlisted guys, including grizzled staff sergeant Julio Franco who had a grand slam on Monday and drove in three more last night. If the Braves torched D-Train last night, what do you think they are going to do to Al Leiter tonight? Does Washington ever lose at home? After winning last night, the Nats are 27-10 at RFK this year and that is almost as good as some of Joe Gibbs teams. But unlike Gibbs better teams, these Nats have almost no pop – 15th in NL slugging. Vidro’s return will help that number, but Washington needs another offensive threat. On the flip side for the Nats, Ryan Drese has thrown two very good games since coming over from the AL and Chad Cordero is lurking within striking distance of the NL MVP award. The Mets got back to .500 last night and if they really have a shot at Sheff, they would be crazy to not pull the trigger. Putting Sheff behind Beltran and ahead of Floyd would give the Mets the best 3-4-5 in the NL East. Victor Zambrano got the win for New York last night and he has quietly been pretty solid for the Mets. The thing about Zambrano is he always gives the Mets a chance. He may never shut the other team down, but he hasn’t been blown out since April 24. Los Madres are banged up right now and can’t really think about going on the offensive until they get some guns back, but I don’t think they should be too concerned by Arizona. The Dbacks are only 9-16 in June and you get the feeling that this team has a fairly low ceiling – probably no more then 84 wins. Jason Schmidt wasn’t great for the Giants last night but he did pick up a win. After watching Schmidt give up nine hits and three walks in six innings, I am not sure Brian Sabean’s phone will be all that busy until Schmidt’s next start. The Cubs pitching staff got knocked around last week, but since Saturday the staff has only given up two runs in 27 innings. The bet here is Wood won’t keep it going today against Sheets.

After crushing the Rangers over the past week, the Angels are close to pushing their lead in the West to double digits. If they can get there by the end of June, you can almost take it to the bank that they will finish the year on top. I say that because the last 26 teams to amass ten game leads in June have gone to win their leagues or divisions. The White Sox and Cards are basically in the same spot, each needing to tack on a game to get to that magic number of 10. I am no fan, but both Jarad Washburn and John Lackey are twirling for the Angels right now. Washburn went deep last night and Lackey goes today. With these guys going strong, who cares if Escobar is gone for the year? Meanwhile, the Rangers’ lungs are gasping for air. One of the big reasons Texas has been getting mauled by California is Alfonso Soriano has been staying at a place called Motel Struggle. He is 1-22 in the Rangers five losses to the Angles. If the Rangers don’t find some life over the next two weeks, I suspect Soriano will be dealt, presumably to a team that is odne playing California. I am not sure Minnesota could afford him, but he would be a nice addition to that lineup.

June 27 - Its Drafty in Here

2005-06-28T15:44:00.000-07:00

So here are my thoughts on tonight’s NBA draft: I’ll take the NBA draft over the NFL draft any day of the week even though I don’t give two shits about the NBA. The NBA does it right by limiting teams to only five minutes between picks. In doing so, the entire first round takes 2.5 hours to complete while the first round of the NFL draft usually doesn’t end in time for me to catch Saturday’ Night Live’s opening monologue. Marvin Williams has plenty of athletic upside but at this time, he has absolutely no game whatsoever. Teams expecting help next year should be forewarned – Williams post up game is spottier then a fire truck Dalmatian. Ray Felton will be a better pro then collegian. I was not a fan of Felton’s at UNC but his shot has improved and perhaps if someone can get him under control, he can excel at the next level. There will be growing pains with Felton but there may be some upside. Andrew Bogut will be no better then Vlade. That isn’t bad but is it worth the number one pick? Five years from now, there will be at least six players from this draft considered better then Bogut. Chris Paul can motor, but I would rather have Deron Williams. Paul has all that speed, much like Baron Davis, but he doesn’t have Baron’s strength. Some have compared Sean May to Tractor Traylor but I see Marcus Pfizer as a better comp. I loved this guy in college but I don’t see how he will be as effective in the pros. That seems to be the consensus on May so I will play the contrarian and predict he will be a 16-8 guy. Channing Frye is getting a little too much bump from that game against Illinois. He dominated that game but he was a seven rebound guy at Zona. Careful with that guy – he has skills but he couldn’t dominate UCLA so how is he going to do against the Clips and Lakes. I wouldn’t mind the Celts grabbing Joey Graham or Jarrett Jack. Jack played Paul and Felton straight up over the past two years and Graham has a big-time body. You put him on a front line with Al Jefferson and you got size, strength and speed. If you want an eight and five guy – Charlie Villanueva is your man. Not only is Charlie a punk, but he is the scariest looking kid in the draft. I’d go wig if I were CV. anyone taking this kid Ed Bynum in the top 20 is an idiot. The kid would have sat at UCONN so how is he going to play in the NBA? Bynum is this year's Kedrick Perkins.

WFAN’s Mike Francesa struck twice yesterday with a couple of missives that require ridicule and condemnation. The first occurred early in his afternoon telecast when he blatantly plagiarized material that was published earlier in the day. Here is the setup. On Monday morning, ESPN’s Peter “Gasbag” Gammons published a piece reporting Oakland GM Billy Beane “has told everyone who calls that he will not trade Barry Zito during the season.” Further, Gammons writes that Beane will trade Mark Kotsay to the Cubs or the Yankees in the right deal if a contract extension doesn't get done with Kotsay. Lets forget for a second that Gammons hasn’t sourced any of these tidbits - the general implication is he has spoken with either Beane or someone who has had a conversation with Beane. The problem is that without direct attribution, or even indirect for that matter, Gasbag’s comments lie somewhere in between opinion and fact. Unless he has Beane or others on the record, which he does in one instance later in his piece, Gammon’s piece is a bit shaky, at least in this former reporter’s mind. So lets get back to Fat Ass. Later in the day, during the first hour of his show, Francesa was discussing various trade possibilities for the Yankess. The talk turned to the A’s, at which point Francesa DECLARED that Barry Zito isn’t available and Kotsay may not be as available as some assume. That’s odd – didn’t’ I read that somewhere? The problem here is Mike implied that he had original sources for these statements. Let me be very clear on this point: Francesa left little doubt that he was bringing original source material to this discussion. It’s as if he wants his listeners to believe he gets in at 10:00 in the morning and starts working the phones. Nothing could be further from the truth. In all likelihood, fat ass got in and read Gammon’s piece and then pawned off that questionable drivel as his own. No credit was given to Gammons whatsoever. Thee was no mention of the fact that Fat Ass merely read Gammon’s piece and then regurgitated it as if it were his own. I guess such admissions might lead some to believe that Mike may not be is plugged in as he wants them to believe.

Point number two cropped up a few hours later when the discussion turned to the pool of center fielders who are due to be free agents and could be of interest to the Yankess. At this point, Francesa broached two names – Andruw Jones and Vernon Wells – as guys he has heard the Yankees are looking at quite seriously. That revelation is pretty interesting since Jones is signed through 2007 (13.5M in 07) and Wells is signed through 2007 as well. So according to Francesa, the Yanks are looking at two guys who won’t be unrestricted for another 400 games. Hmmmm. His partner called him on Jones and went to break by asking the production crew to look into it. When the guys returned, there was no mention of Francesa’s gaffe. Again, in this case, the big guy was attempting to convince his listeners that he had original source material on this issue. It was as if guys within the Yankee organization had told him of the club’s interest. That sure seems odd given the contract status of both Jones and Wells. Francesa also talked about the Yanks interest in Juan Pierre – something that is once again curious since Pierre only has five years of MLB service and is therefore not eligible for free agency until after 2006. Now the Yanks may have an interest in all three of these guys, as Francesa says, but contrary to what Mike thinks, they won’t be getting any of them as free agents for a little while. The Fat Man strikes again!

June 26 - Golf's Finest Hour: A Birdie and a Bomb

2005-06-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

If you are a golf fan and weren’t tuned in late yesterday afternoon, you probably missed this year’s quota of amazing finishes. First, over there on NBC, you had Birdie Kim pull off a Bob Tway and sink one out of a trap to win the U.S. Women’s Open. In case you missed it, Kim was sitting in a greenside bunker at 18, tied for the lead but starring at bogey. Her competition, seventeen year-old Morgan Pressel, was sitting back in the fairway in a perfect spot. At this point, Pressel looks good for four and Kim is looking at five. So what does Birdie Kim do? She repeats what Tway did at Inverness and sinks the impossible sandy for three. Pressel, obviously shaken, left her second shot short of the green and that was it. While Kim’s shot was the story of the Open, a close second is the youth movement in women’s golf. Pressel is 17. Michelle Wie was on the leaderboard and she is 15. Paula Creamer is the second hottest player on tour and she is 18. When did woman’s golf become gymnastics? Should I be watching for Carly Patterson to start showing up and playing in pro-ams? A few more thoughts from the open: Dottie Pepper is fire in the booth. She and Johnny don’t pull any punches, especially when it comes to death marches. Second, I love Meg Mallon. She may be a huge slob but she shows disgust as well as any player on the men’s tour. She has a bigger set of balls then two out of three men on the PGA tour – I mean that figuratively and literally. Last thought – can someone tell me how Michelle Wie can afford to play all these events? Is she some heiress to a macadamia fortune?

If Kim’s shot wasn’t enough for golf fans, just fifteen minutes later, Padraig Harrington dropped an Irish Car Bomb on the 18th green of Westchester Country Club. Lying two, and probably needing a three to win outright, Harrington nailed a 60 foot eagle putt to snatch the tourney away from Jim Furyk. While Harrington certainly deserves some credit for that draino, Furyk deserves some scorn for a late meltdown. On a blistering day that clearly was not designed with the fair-skinned Irish in mind, Furyk just couldn’t get to the line. This was not the greatest collapse of the season – the frontrunner for that title still belongs to Darren Clarke for his work at Hilton Head - but this is up there and probably sits in third. (Jim Driscoll is probably in 2nd for missing that four footer that could have won New Orleans.)

I actually watched some of the U.S. Track and Field Championships this weekend and there were some great performances worth noting. First, The U.S. has a 400 hurdler named Kerron Clement who is simply awesome. He ran 47.2 this weekend and I have no doubt he can take out that world record (46.78) held by UCLA’s Kevin Young. Another emerging studette is Sanya Richards who ran a 49.28 in the women’s 400. She isn’t a threat to take out that juiced up record held by Marita Koch (47 and change), but if she can peel a second of her time from Saturday, she will have the cleanest 400 ever run. Look out for these two at the World Championships in Helsinki this August. Oh, but the way, keep your eyes on Justin Gaitlin, Jeremy Wariner and Allyson Felix who are all in top form right now. Warriner could be on the cusp of taking on Michael Johnson's 43.18 that was set back in 1999. It could be a nice year for U.S. track, made more so because Marion and Tim will be forced to sit and watch from the comfort of their own private pharmacy. By the way, Jones pulled out of the 100 last week with a hip flexor problem. That is what happens when you keep sticking those needles into your hip.

In Sunday’s New York Post, Steve Serby asked Bernie Williams the following question: Are you a better center fielder or guitarist? At first blush, this seemed like about as soft a softball as you will ever see, but Bernie ended up dropping this pop up much like he drops everything hit to him these days. After hearing Bernie claim he is a better center fielder then guitarist, I developed a migraine thinking of what his latest CD must sound like. I am no music critic, but I remember fourteen year olds back in Southern California garage bands that play their instruments better then Bernie plays center. I say this because there is no better monument to the decay of the Yankees then Bernie Williams. I am not saying Bernie is a bad guy because he certainly has dignity and grace. What I am saying is Bernie Williams flat out stinks. I dare anyone who watched him play center on Friday and Saturday come to a different conclusion. He isn’t bad. He is downright pathetic. It seems as if he is tortured by both arthritis and attention deficit disorder. I would call him the Tin Man, but with this rally we have had in metals, an authentic Tin Man is worth more then Bernie. Moreover, that arm is not only the worst in baseball right now – it may be the worst I have seen in 30 years and that includes historic weenie arms like Kirk Gibson and Rondell White (Question – how could a great athlete like Gibson who also weighed 230 pounds end up throwing like a little school girl?). Guys now tag on him when the ball is hit no further then 130 feet beyond second base. Before you disagree, Mike Cameron’s tag on Saturday was more like 120 feet. Watching third base coaches around the league manage against Bernie reminds me of Roy Turner in the Bad News Bears. Lest you forget the scene, Turner instructs his Yankees to run at will against the feeble Bears, knowing full well that nobody on the Bears (pre Kelly, pre-Amanda, pre-coming together) had the skill to throw a base runner out. In fact, Bernie kind of reminds me of the Bears centerfielder at this point. That gentleman’s name was Ahmad and he was the one who stripped down to his underwear and climbed a tree after the Bears were shellacked on opening day. I wouldn’t be surprised if after Saturday afternoon’s game Yankee Skip Joe Torre had to be summoned to get Bernie down form one of those tress that stand outside Yankee Stadium. I said it early in the year and I will say it again – Bernie Williams is the worst starting centerfielder in baseball. Sure, he is still good for a clutch hit once in a while, but this guy is hitting .250 with no power. When you throw in the defense, you got a guy who trails David DeJesus and Tike Redman. Bernie Williams is now longer a baseball player. He is a fossil and currently is nothing more then a symbol of Yankee decay and largess. He will be gone at the end of the season, free to pursue his love of music. Here’s hoping he finds a way to play guitar better then he played center these past three months.

It probably isn’t a great sign for Red Sox fans when Boston Globe Columnist Dan Shaugnessey predicts the Sox will now run away with the AL EAST title, but it sure looks at this time that just such an event is possible. The Sox are just screaming right now, having won seven straight, six of which came on the road. Going back further, the Sox are 12-1 since dropping a Fox afternoon debacle at Wrigley. This team is just mashing the ball right now and since that day in Chicago, the starting pitching, with a couple of David Wells exceptions, has been very good. Manram is killing the ball (also picked up his league leading 10th assist), Papi always kills the ball and even Billy Mueller is getting in on the fun. The bullpen is still a huge question mark outside of Mike Timlin and Johnny Damon’s shoulder eventually could necessitate a stint on the DL, but all in all, this team is rolling. The Sox late spring offensive comes at a time when both the Birds and Yanks are fatigued and in need of replacements. The O’s got swept down in Atlanta this weekend and its time to break out the defibrillators in Baltimore since this team is flat-lining. Losing Javy Lopez was one thing, but losing Melvin Mora is another thing entirely. They need Mel’s bat in the lineup everyday and this hammy injury could not have come at a worse time. By the way, when is Sammy going to start hitting all those bombs at Camden? Wasn’t he supposed to take out Brady Anderson’s record? For those of you not counting, Sammy has exactly two long balls in over one hundred plate appearances at Camden this year. Another telling thing about Sammy – he is slugging less than .400 against righties this year. That is more then 150 points off his rolling four-year average. Would you like to reconsider your testimony Mr. Sosa? As for the Yankees, things just got worse this weekend as they lost two of three to the Mets. We already took care of Bernie, but he wasn’t the only problem to surface this weekend. Mike Mussina got bounced around Friday night, and the defense looked horrible all weekend. Giambi looks like a juiced up Lady Liberty at first and I question whether Cano is short for Cannot, as in “I cannot field my position?” The Yanks did scare up some offense on Sunday night, but bottom line, this team’s Superstar’s don’t scare anyone. You can preach stats all you want, but at the end of the day, this offense is as shallow as Hal.

Has anyone noticed that the Oakland A’s are one of the hottest teams in Baseball, having gone 18-8 since May 30th. That followed a May in which the injury-ravaged A’s went 7-20. That dismal stretch was achieved without Nick Swisher, Rich Harden and Bobby Crosby, but with these guys back in the lineup, the A’s are a club that can pitch, catch and score at times. Danny Haren is pitching great and Kirk Saarloos is coming on strong as well. Swisher has given the lineup some pop and Eric Chavez is quietly resuscitating his year. The A’s now find themselves only five games under .500 and they have managed to climb their way back to the periphery of the wild card race. As such, I think it may be a bit premature to assume GM Billy Beane is going to toss in the towel and trade both Barry Zito and slumping center fielder Mark Kotsay. (Surprisingly, Kotasy has slumped while the A’s have surged – he is hitting only .238 in June.) The A’s do have six with the White Sox before the break, but if they can get to .500 by the break, Beane may stick with the hand he’s got and go for that wildcard spot. As such, it may not be too easy to pry Zito and Kotsay loose, at least until the end of July when Beane has a better idea of whether 2005 is a lost cause and preparations for 2006 should begin. On the other hand, if Kotsay continues to falter, Beane may peddle him while he can still get something of value in return. I suspect Beane feels Kotsay will exercise his option and walk after the end of the season, so his mid-season departure appears more likely.

Final Baseball Thoughts: I am making it official – I am getting on this Milwaukee Brewer wagon right now while there are plenty of seats available. I like this team and think it can contend in 2006. Weeks and Hall look real nice up the middle and Clark is one of my favorites in center. They need some maturity and probably another arm, but this team is not that far away. The Pirates are in a similar spot at Milwaukee, but I would take the Brewers upside right now. If you could combine these two clubs and give the franchise a $75 million dollar budget, it would win the next three NL pennants. Were my eyes playing tricks on me or was that Damian Jackson going four for four for San diego yesterday with two bombs. That can’t be the same guy who used to play in Boston. The Damian Jackson I know is delivering packages for UPS in Riverside County. I love how the picture ESPN.Com shows of Jackson has him wearing a Red Sox lid. Is that some kind of joke? Los Madres have a big series this week against the Dodgers and unfortunately the pitching matchups are abysmal. God Bless Andrew Jones. Winston Churchill was the last guy to do as much for his team when it was on the skids. A lot of pundits still say the Cards don't have the arms to go all the way but who has a better right-handed combo right now then Carpenter and Morris. Carps has given up 7 runs over his past 47 innings. That is ace-like in my book. The AL Wildcard race is looking pretty crazy right now. There are seven teams within five games of the WC. Texas is on a slide right now and Minnesota is struggling as well. Don’t count out Cleveland. The Twins are probably the conventional pick, but I wouldn’t rule out the Tribe.

June 23: Turning Point - You Can't Be Serious!

2005-06-23T14:17:00.000-07:00

“If there is a turning point to the season, this should be it.” Those were the prophetic words of Bernice Williams on Tuesday night after the Yankees railed for 13 runs off Travis Harper and the vaunted Tampa Bay Devil Rays. This prediction may not rank up there with the Chicago Tribune going out incorrectly with Dewey’s victory in 1948, but it sure isn’t far behind. Bernie, Bernie, Bernie – you should know better. Tuesday night wasn’t the turning point of anything and especially not this Yankee season of discontent. Tuesday night was an anomaly. A mere uptick on an EKG that is basically flat-lining. So what happened just 18 hours after Bernie made his astute observation? The Yanks went out and got punked again by that Tampa steamroller. This time, the blame fell at the feet of Careless Pavano who came inside and ended up getting knocked out in the seventh by some tomato can named Nick Green. As is typical for this staff, Pavano claimed afterward that he had great stuff but just made a couple bad pitches. Enough already. Careless is now 4-6 with an ERA of 4.6 and guess what Yankess fans – he isn’t even one-eighth of the way through that $40 million contract. Interestingly enough, after the game, Yankee PR Director Joe Torre said that a blister may have bothered Pavano, but Carl shut such talk down by saying “I don’t know what he is talking about.” Hey, he may not be able to pitch, but at least he scored a point for his honesty. So the beat goes on for the Bombers who suddenly find themselves unable to beat the hapless Rays, who have taken six of nine off the Yanks this year. To put that in perspective, the Yanks went 13-5 against Tampa last year. And that raises the question: if the Yanks can’t beat the bad teams in the league, what are they going to do against the good ones. Well, they better figure things out quickly because after this weekend’s series with the Mets, the Yanks don’t play a team with a losing record (as of today) until August 15. That is shaping up like a seven-week death march.

Brian Cashman must wake up every morning and thank god that he lives and works in the same city as Isiah Thomas. I say this because with Thomas around, Brian can rest at night knowing he is not the most incompetent general manager in the Big Apple. Here is Zeke’s latest move, as first reported by realgm.com. Isiah, having decided his team was flush with big men, has sent Kurt Thomas packing for Phoenix and in return, the Knicks will get Quentin Richardson. Quentin Richardson? This one is right in my sweet spot since I argued for much of last season that Q was one of the most over-rated players in the NBA. So what does Zeke do? He trades for him and in the process, gives up his toughest inside player. Here are some of the things you need to know about Q. He shot under 40 percent from the floor. Granted, this percentage is hindered by the fact that he launches so many threes, but at the end of the day, his percentage is still under forty percent. Now Q defenders will argue that on an adjusted basis, Q actually shoots close to 50 percent. This is true, but as long as we are breaking down the numbers, I would point out that Q almost never gets to the line. NEVER. His point per minutes numbers are certainly nothing to get excited about and more importantly, because he never gets to the line, his points per shot totals are just about the worst of any shooting guard in the league. So Zeke has brought in another one-dimensional long range gunner to go along with Jamal Crawford, who is another low percentage guy who sports a tiny point per shot total. And in an effort to build redundancy, Zeke ended up giving up a soft shooting big guy who could grab ten rebounds with one hand tied behind his back. Kurt also brings a nasty streak to the court and that will be sorely missed. I can’t wait to hear Zeke defend this one and point out what a joy it will be next year to watch that frontline of Mike Sweetney, Tim Thomas and Mo Taylor.

Staying with the Knicks, it was reported by the New York Daily News this morning that the NBA’s new CBA may contain a little clause that could help the Knicks finally dump Allen Houston and his horrific contract. This was classic Daily News – pumping a story because it was a scoop, but losing sight of the story’s actual importance. This is the deal – the News learned that the new CBA will allow NBA teams a little amnesty program where teams can cut one player off its roster and avoid paying any luxury tax on that player’s contract. So in Houston’s case, the Knicks will be able to cut him and avoid paying $40 million in luxury tax. Mind you, the Knicks would still have to honor the contract itself. The end result is the Knicks will cut Houston and save some money, but such outcomes will do nothing to help their dire salary cap situation. That is because if Houston is cut, his mammoth salary will still count against the cap so the Knicks will still be in salary cap hell. If you don’t read the News story closely, you might think this was not the case. Moreover, what difference does it make if Houston is on the team or not so long as his contract remains in place. At the end of the day, the Knicks stink and their salary commitments place them miles about the league’s cap. The new CBA and Houston’s departure will do nothing to ameliorate either of these problems. As far as I am concerned, the News story was hardly news.

So what else happened in Baseball last night? We’ll start in Cleveland where the Red Sox nailed down a real nice win, coming back three times before winning it in the ninth and completing the three-game sweep over the Tribe. Wade Miller was not terrific last night, but he kept the Sox in the game and the offense responded with some very clutch late-game hits. Alan Embree actually made a contribution last night by coming into the game and getting out of a bases loaded – no out- jam without giving up a run. Proving that all good things must end, Embree put two guys on in the seventh that both came into score. How long will it take for Theo to pull Everyday Eddie G out of Seattle? It feels like a Boston breakout is coming and its time for Theo to bring in some more armor to breach the gap. On the second base watch: Belhorn went 0-3 with two whiffs last night while Little Pedro (Dustin Pedroia) went 1-4 with a double in his first game at AAA. If this kid hits at Pawtucket like he has hit everywhere else (Tempa, Sarasota, Wilmington, Portland), he won’t be there too long. By the way, his Sun Devils are still alive in the CWS.

Out West the Angels took command of the division by completing the sweep over the Rangers. Kenny Rogers came out flat and got rocked for the second time in his last three outings. It was a brutal series for the Rangers who were outscored 19-7 and lost with their three best pitchers – Rogers, Young and Park They now find themselves 4.5 back which isn’t terrible but it does give the Angels some breathing room as they prepare to move forward without Steve Finley. I am not sure that injury is all that significant anyways since the Angels have proved to be pretty resilient. Hell, if they managed without Vlad for three weeks, they can easily get by without Mr. Finley, especially if Erstad remains warm. Elsewhere in the AL, the Twins got punked again and even though they scored some runs early today, it looks like this team just doesn’t have enough firepower to be consistently good. The top of the staff is solid and the bullpen is terrific, but where is all that production from Mauer and Morneau? Neither played yesterday and let me tell you, nobody is scared of a team that hits Torii Hunter cleanup. That guy hits sixth in a big time lineup. Baltimore’s lead in the East was trimmed to one when the birds came up empty against Pete Walker, a guy who hasn’t started since 2002. Melvin Mora missed the game with a strained hammy and if that injury lingers, this team is in real trouble. They have had a nice first half, but injuries are taking a toll and it feels like a swoon is coming. And speaking of poor cleanup hitters, what is Sammy still doing in the four hole? If I were Maz, I would flip him with Raffy and go righty-lefty-righty. On second thought, does it really matter?

Why is anyone throwing the ball to Andruw Jones right now? The Braves have no one in that lineup and Jones is just mashing the ball. He has nine bombs in his last 11 games and for some reason or another, guys keep throwing him strikes. Those must be mistakes because there is no way in the world that Johnny Estrada’s presence is forcing guys to throw strikes. When the Braves and Fish got together last night, it may have pitted the NL’s two worst leadoff men against each other. Both Rafael Furcal and Juan Pierre have been staying at Motel Struggle this year although Furcal was able to scratch out a hit and a couple runs last night. For those of you asleep at the wheel – the Fish are now at .500 and are pulling up on the Yanks in the race for this year’s most disappointing team. Jason Schmidt sure knows how to hold an audition? Last night, Schmidt threw eight shutout innings with a number of scouts looking on. He has now had a couple of real solid starts and he therefore is no longer being shown out on the lawn of a rummage sale A couple weeks ago, a team probably could have had Schmidt for a bag of balls and some Ben Gay for Barry’s ailing knee. But who knows anymore. Giants GM Brian Sabean is probably going to hold out for good value now that Schmidt has proven he isn’t a total basket case. Here is my wild prediction: Sabean will hose the Yanks on Schmidt. The Yanks will give up Wang and get stuck with Schmidt’s ailing arm and $10M option in 06. Finally, we get to the Mets who lost a nail-biter down at the Little Lock Box in Philly last night. The Mets actually got a good performance out of Victor Zambrano, but that trusty bullpen could not keep the team in the game. Aaron Heilman certainly did not impress in his first appearance as a late innings guy. Has anyone noticed that Kenny Lofton is having a sick year for the Phils. He doesn’t have a ton of at bats, but he is hitting .380 and slugging almost .500. It stands to reason that the Yanks decided to let this guy go and are now looking for a centerfielder to take his place.

The clear leader in the race to win 2005’s worst signing is Eric Milton. Check out some of these factoids. Eric Milton has given up 25 bombs while walking only 24. That is not a reflection of Eric’s great control. Instead, it just shows that this guy simply can’t keep the ball in the park, whether it’s at home on the road. The other thing worth noting is that Milton is letting right-handers hit .335 and slug .650 against him. In essence, Milton turns every righty into a batting champion and silver slugger. At 3-9 and with an ERA of almost eight, this guy is an absolute meltdown waiting to happen. The word is that Cincy is already trying to dump this guy but good luck, nobody is taking that contract so long as Milton continues to throw BP.

June 22 - Yank Glass is Half Full or Half Empty?

2005-06-22T13:23:00.000-07:00

What should one make of the Yankees comeback win in the Bronx last night? On the one hand, digging oneself out from a buried grave and then mauling the grave-digger is an impressive move and that is just about what happened. Hey, how many times do you see a team come back from a 10-2 spot and then outscore its opponent 18-1. That is pretty crazy stuff. Of course, the Yankee press and PR Director Torre are seizing on the positive this morning, but things were not all rosy last night. Due to the comeback, people seem to forget that Big Unit Johnson got mauled like one of those guys on When Animals Attack. Here are the relevant numbers: 3 innings, eight hits, seven runs and three bombs allowed. But look on the bright side, he only walked one of the 18 batters he faced and he didn’t hit anyone. This is what Johnson had to say after the game: “My location was off considerably. Its just one of those things you put to bed.” Someone should put this guy to bed before he coughs up another mixed metaphor. I would give the Unit the award for top post-game comment if it weren’t for the fact that Bernice outdid him with this: “If there is a turning point to the season, this should be it.” Cmon Music Man – you have been playing the game for too long to say something so asinine. Since when do comebacks against the D Rays and big innings off guys like Eddie Nunez and Travis Harper qualify as pinnacle moments? Hitting three run walkoff bombs off Frankie Rodriguez is a moment. Coming back from a 6-2 ninth inning deficit against the Red Sox is a moment. Torturing poor Travis Harper may be violent and destined to be repeated on the Yankees state owned television network, but it is not a season-turning moment. Last point – what is it about Yankee fans that they love to see piling on. It seems nothing excites a Yankee fan more then a meaningless AROD shot in a game that was already laid to rest. Such moments are meant to be ignored – not applauded.

I loved Devil Ray manager Lou Pinella hanging Travis Harper out to dry last night after it was clear that the kid couldn’t keep anything in the ballpark. Everyone at the bar I was out was screaming for Lou to take Harper out, but what’s the point? Why go to another guy when you are down five and only need one more out to end the misery? So what if the kid will have nightmares for a week. What is a few nightmares for a twenty-nine year old who makes 750K a year? My problem is not with Pinella – it is with Harper. If that kid had any balls, he would have nailed Arod or Matsushi once the game got out of hand. At least that way if he wanted out, he would have been tossed. And once tossed, he should have taken a shot at Lou, much like Rex Dibble did 15 years ago. Something tells me that if Harper got something started with Lou, a couple of Devil Rays would have cheap shot their manager.

While I am taking Lou’s side on last night, I have a problem with his argument that he was sold a bill of goods to come to Tampa and ownership is not honoring the commitment they made. His word is that ownership agreed to spend $40 million to build a team and has reneged by spending less then thirty. So what? Message to Lou – whether its 30 or 40 – it doesn’t matter. You aren’t winning at either level. Do you think adding ten million in talent to this payroll is going to make a difference? Lou, $10 million doesn’t go too far – just ask the Yankees. $10 million equates to one good starting pitcher a very solid middle innings guy. Sure, such additions would help this club, but lets not go crazy and assume the only thing keeping this club from the playoffs is Carl Pavano’s 2005 salary. Lou is barking up the wrong tree if he wants my sympathy on this one. He should know better then anyone that a club needs to spend at least $60 million (bare minimum) to win consistently and that is assuming a great farm system and a real sharp GM is in charge.

On Sunday night, the Cleveland Indian pitching staff actually led the American League in ERA. So what has happened since? They gave up ten runs to Boston on Monday and another nine last night. As such, they are now in third, just a nose in front of Minnesota. Last night, Kevin Millwood played the gimp, giving up two bombs and five runs in six innings. The Sox got one jack from Manny and two more from Papi, while Bronson Arroyo came up with his second strong outing in a row. He seems to have much more action on his slider then he did three weeks ago. The big question for Boston will be what to do with Bronson when Curt Schilling returns. Arroyo is throwing better then Wade Miller, but he is probably more suited then Miller for bullpen work. With that said, is Bronson a possible solution to some of Boston’s bullpen woes? And for those of you keeping score at home, Mark Belhorn struck out two more times last night while Dustin Pedroia went 1-3 for Portland and is now hitting .324 and slugging over .500. How much longer is Theo going to keep that car in the garage? Another hundred AA at bats? [LATE BREAKING NEWS - DUSTIN HAS BEEN PROMOTED TO PAWTUCKET] Interesting factoid – the Sox moved to 40-30 with last night’s win – that is the same record they had in both 2004 and 2003 after 70 games.

It seems to me that Derrick Lowe used up about a decades worth of run support over the past three years in Boston. Last night, he was on the short end of a 2-1 loss at the Pet Store in a game that he gave up two runs over six innings. Lowe wasn’t great last night and hasn't been all season, but he probably deserves to be a bit better then 5-8. The Dodgers are just a mess right now, having lost eight straight .To make matters worse, Eric Gagne is headed for Tommy John surgery and Hee Sop has used up his yearly quota of bombs and its still June. The Padres continue to struggle offensively at the Pet Store and you have to wonder when Kevin Towers will do something about his hole at third. If I were Kevin, I’d call Cincy and check on Joe Randa and if he isn’t available, I might put in a call to Toronto to check on Shea Hillenbrand or Eric Hinske. To make matters worse for Los Madres, Phil Nevin was a late scratch and he could be out a while.

The White Sox did it again last night with their seventh straight win over Kansas City and Jon Garland is now 12-2 on the season. That is pretty shocking considering he has never won more then 12 games in his MLB career and he really doesn’t blow the ball past many batters. After all, guys are hitting .250 against him and his strikeout numbers are far from impressive. Nonetheless, he gives the Sox seven innings EVERY time he goes out there and stands a pretty good shot at winning twenty. That isn’t bad for a guy who many claim is Chicago’s fifth starter. What does that mean anyways? I will always maintain the “numbering” of pitchers is one of the most asinine things that fans and pundits debate. While the Sox keep winning, the Twinkies are suddenly sputtering as they lost again last night, this time to Jason Bonderman at the Motown Cathouse. Bonderman threw a complete game against a Twins team that is just getting nothing from the middle of its order. The Tigers meanwhile have climbed over .500 and that AL Central is no longer looking so tame. The Twins, meanwhile, no longer lead the AL wildcard race and with Chicago long gone, that is what they need to focus on.

There should be a s horror movie trilogy made about the Atlanta Braves because every time you think they are dead, they come storming back. Last night, Smoltz blanked Florida, while Andrew Jones clubbed another. I am no fan of Jones but he has come up huge during Atlanta’s time of need. Teams in the NL East should be warned – you better knock this team out over the next couple weeks because they should start getting healthy around the all-star break (Hampton and Chipper), assuming Tim Hudson’s injury doesn’t linger like it usually does. As for the Fish, ESPN’s Jayson Stark mentioned this morning that he thought manager Jack McKeown could be in some trouble. I agree wholeheartedly. This team was built to win now but it has disappointed in a big way. Sure, the bullpen is soft, but there is too much starting pitching there for the Fish to be just a game over .500. Elsewhere in the East, the Mets picked up a win they had to have, beating Brett Myers to a pulp down at the Lock Box in Philly. Krissie Benson wasn’t great for the Mets last night but for once, his offense came up with some juice. Beltran and Floyd both had a couple of knocks and even Minky got into it with a 350 foot jack. If I had a show and could interview Willie Randolph, my first question would be: What is so fucking hard about making out a lineup card that has Mike Piazza in the seven hole? The next question would be: How fucking hard is to just write Dave Wright’s name down on the line with a five in front of it? Listen, being a Sox fan, I have the market corned on living with bad managers, and I got to say I see a lot of potential in Willie. I have long thought Lee Mazilli was an idiot and now it looks like Willie may be one as well. If this is what you get from Torre’ Troops, the last thing I would ever do is hire Luis Sojo to be my manager.

While I agreed with Stark on the Florida managing situation, he also mentioned something today that I ardently reject. Stark came on the radio this mornig and tried to make a case for why some contenders would be interested in trading for Tom Glavine. Listen, I know why the Mets would love to part ways with Glavine, but I cannot buy any argument that suggests Glavine has value elsewhere. Stark’s basic premise is that Glavine is sure better then anything else reasonably priced on a market that includes such luminaries as Kip Wells. I disagree. I’d take Wells over Glavine at this point. Tommy G’s ERA is over five and he pitches at the best park in the country. That is not the kind of stuff a contender wants out there in big spots. Plus, if Tom throws another 100 plus innings, his 2006 option gets picked up at $10 million and 80 innings nets him $8 million. There is not a team in baseball that wants that commitment, including the Mets.

June 21 - Nineteen is not Enough

2005-06-21T15:10:00.000-07:00

It now appears that the NBA and its players association are nearing an agreement on a new Collective Bargaining Agreement, which is good news for those eleven thousand remaining NBA fans around the country. That is the good news. The bad news is that as part of the new CBA, the NBA has decided on a new age limit restriction that is incredibly illoigical and poorly conceived. The new CBA, will reportedly require that a kid be nineteen years old before he is eligible to be drafted into the league. Hence, if you are not 19 on draft night, you have to wait another year. For most, this will mean they will not be eligible for selection until after their freshman year of college. For others who are born after late June, it will mean they have to sit out two basketball seasons before they are eligible for selection. If you ask me, this is a half-assed solution to a legitimate problem.

The problem, as the NBA sees it, is that many kids make themselves eligible for the draft and are not ready to playing the NBA. Some of these kids go undrafted and at that point, they have no options left since they forfeited their college eligibility. Others get drafted and become discipline problems while they are waiting their turn at the end of NBA benches. So what did the NBA do to address this situation? They basically enacted a one-year waiting period for prospective players. I am not sure what the league hopes to accomplish with this and it doesn’t seem to address a problem that is larger then what the league is ready to stipulate in public.

I say this because one of the major problems with the league is that it has turned off suburban whites. You can sugarcoat it all you want, but at the end of the day, the sport no longer has mass appeal, particularly in red states where people are quite easily offended by the young hip hoppers who are entering the league with very hard street edges. Guys like Allen Iverson may be terrific players, but their exterior is just too abrasive for wonder bread America. The result is television ratings have not been this low since Magic Johnson was playing high basketball in Flint and Larry was letting loose in French Lick. So how do you remediate this problem? Well, there is no perfect solution but one thing that has helped in the past is making these kids attend some college before they are thrust into the league and into the laps of America. While at school, these kids are forced to deal with campus life and in many cases, the experience dulls some of that previously mentioned street edge. As such, many kids come out of college much more polished and marketable to the public. If you don’t believe me, take a look at Pat Ewing in 1982 and compare him to Pat Ewing in 1985. The change was startling.

So back to the age limit policy. What does a one-year moratorium accomplish? Not much in my book. First of all, it puts the colleges in a bad spot. What coach wants to recruit and sign a player when he knows his school is just a temporary stop? Sure, these kids will still find spots, like Carmelo Anthony did, but that doesn’t mean the college game is helped but this new requirement. College basketball is at its best when there is continuity and this policy does nothing but foster upheavel. Moreover, it doesn't address the problem which is the socialization of these kids. Does anyone think that a single year on the campus of Louisville is going to turn a kid like Seb Telafir into a strip mall darling? It is ludicrous to think so, although I am sure that many out there think league policy should not aim to achieve such goals. I beg to differ.

At the very least, the league should have pushed for and secured a two season waiting period that does not get bogged down in the actual age of the player. Such a restriction would restore a bit more continuity to the college game and it would provide players with a second needed year of polish both on the court and in front of the public. This isn’t a perfect solution but it beats the one-year program that has reportedly been agreed upon. Moreover, a two-season delay would eliminate the inequity that is inherent in the nineteen-year limit now being negotiated. That limit would allow many players who are one year out of high school to join the NBA, but keep out those kids born after July 1. It seems a little capricious to kiss a kid born in May and fuck a kid born six weeks later. To correct this, the new policy should just say that a player is not eligible to be drafted for two basketball seasons.

If had my druthers, I would have gone for something more like baseball where a player is given the opportunity to enter immediately after high school, but if he goes to college, he can’t make himself eligible for the draft again until after his junior year. Such a program allows a handful of superstars to jump ship without any collegiate matriculation, but it keeps the rest in school long enough for them to gain a meaningful college experience. By the time basketball players have put in three years in college, their games will have improved, but more importantly, they will have lived with college kids long enough so that they are more palatable in red state living rooms. The league should have been shooting for such an outcome with its new age policy, but in this instance, the league’s shot from 20 clanked left.

They may have stopped the Tribe’s nine game winning streak, but the Boston Red Sox bullpen problem has reached critical proportions. Alan Embree came in with a four run lead last night and got torched again as Travis Hafner hit a two-run bomb into Lake Erie. This is what Embree had to say after the game: ''It was a tough at-bat," but I thought I threw the ball well. I felt better today than I have all year.” If that was his best, what was the worst? Following Embree’s abortion, Keith Foulke came in and got into the act by giving up another home run and a series of hard hit balls, the last of which Johnny Damon was able to run down to end the game. Despite the fact that the Sox won, this bullpen is in dire shape. Embree’s time is up and Foulke is clearly struggling with his location. At this point, the Sox must go out and find a lefty who can get at least a few guys out and then throw some dollars at first round pick Craig Hansen in order to get him ready for September. All indications are Hansen could help this year and at this rate, the Sox will need it. But rather then harp on only the negatives, it should be pointed out that the Sox offense is clicking. Manny has found his stroke and JD continues to prove he is the best leadoff hitter in baseball right now. You know things are going good for this offense when they find a way to hit a tough lefty like they did last night against C.C. Sabathia.

Those Yankee fans singing Jason Giambi’s song last week were noticeably silent last night as Giambolic struck out twice in key spots last night. For some reason, his forearm was wrapped last night and I couldn’t help thinking gthat it was to hide some recent injection marks. After all, is there any other explanation for last week’s big home run off Jose Mesa? Should the Yanks get a pass for losing to Casey “The Blade” Fossum last night? Some may argue yes since rookie Sean Henn was forced to start in place of Downtown Kevin Brown, but I would argue there is never an excuse to let the Blade throw seven scoreless. Isn’t the argument that Bernie heats up when it gets warm out? If that is the case, he should probably find a team that plays near the equator since 90-degree days in New York are obviously not doing the trick. Fortunately for the Yanks, the O’s got smoked up in Toronto in the opening game of the great avian war. Should it come as any surprise that Ted Lilly shut down another good offensive team? This guy is uncanny – he beats Boston, St. Louis and Baltimore but he can’t beat garbage like Oakland, Seattle and Houston.

Do the White Sox ever lose? They already have 47 wins and it looks like they can hit the half-mile pole with 54 or 55 wins. The scary thing about this team is Paul Konerko is now on fire. The Sox brought up 21 year-old phenom Brandon McCarthy to pitch last night but unfortunately for some fantasy speculators, the kid got tossed around in a Kansas city spin cycle. In a big AL West matchup, Paul Byrd completely shut down Texas out in Anaheim while Vlad knocked in four. The Angels are winning so it isn’t a big deal right now, but you have to wonder whether this team can go too far with Dallas McPherson in the lineup. He has no glove, he strikes out a ton and he sports a OPS of just .710. Plus, he is named for a city and that is just plain queer.

Jake Peavy was downright nasty last night, fanning thirteen during eight scoreless innings at the Pet Store. Brad Penny nearly matched him in one of the better pitching duels of the year. Since hitting all those bombs, last week, Hee Sop Choi is just 2-21. Elsewhere, Livan Hernandez picked up his tenth win for the Nats, while Jose Guillen clubbed two bombs. With the win, Washington now leads the East by three and they are not too far away from burying the Mets who find themselves 7.5 back and two games behind last year’s pedestrian pace. In New York, the sharks are circling Willie Randolph, who is bleeding and adrift at sea. In my mind, the criticism is justified because Willie remains committed to a plan that simply is not working. Willies big problem: he is more of a chaperone then manager. I love those pundits who mention the possibility that Todd Helton could be moved this year. Lets forget for a second that he has one of the worst contracts in the sport. Here is all you need to know: he is hitting just .250, and only .237 with three home runs away from Coors. Further, he is slugging under .200 against lefties. I am not sure Colorado could pay half his contract and still move him. This situation in Cincinnati is spinning out of control. You know it’s going to be a bad week in Southeastern Ohio when ace Aaron Harang loses on Monday. After all, once his turn passes, there is not much to look forward to in the River City. And finally, Greg Maddux won his 311th game last night with a win over the Brew Crew. Didn’t he win his 311th last year? Is it possible that he is going backwards?

June 20 - Open Snore and Big Shot Bob

2005-06-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

There are some pundits out this morning saying that this year’s US Open is an Instant Classic, but such pundits either have very short memories, little appreciation for past open’s or editors who won’t take sublime for an answer. This weekend’s open was simply not a classic. I am not going to sit here and say Michael Campbell’s win wasn’t a nice story and Reteif Goosen’s collapse wasn’t memorable, but can’t we just leave it at that. After all, how can you have a classic if the winner just needs to make six on 18. Sorry, what makes the US Open terrific is drama and we didn’t have a whole lot of it yesterday. Sure, Goosen’s collapse was a bit Shakespearean and Tiger’s charge (and eventual COLLAPSE) was a bit Hollywood, but this wasn’t a nail biter. Not even close. If you want nailbiters, go back to Congressional in 1997 where the four players in the final two groups were chasing each other all day. If you want drama, go back to last year where Phil and Reteif battled each other all day until Phil inexplicably lost his lunch on 17. And if that isn’t enough, try pulling out the tape from 1999 when Phil, Payne and Tiger went at it all afternoon at the Deuce. As for yesterday, the big moment happened at about 5:45 PM when Tiger made a birdie at 15 and Campbell responded with a splendid approach to 14. That doesn’t make for a classic. In fact, that doesn’t make for much at all. Opens are just not supposed to be decided before six o’clock on Fathers Day, and unfortunately, that is pretty what happened yesterday. Hell,.I like Campbell and I was glad to see him stand up to Tiger and face him down, but lets not go crazy here. It was nice to see the underdog come through, but for sheer drama, this year’s Open was a bit of a snooze.

Speaking of letdowns, Reteif Goosen attempted to corner the disappointment mark yesterday. What went wrong with the Goose? He didn’t merely crap himself. A 76 would have been crap. No, he took it to a whole new level of excrement. What the Goose pulled yesterday was totally historic. You just don’t see players with his skill, his experience and his cool blow up like that and throw away an Open Championship. The Shark’s legendary collapse at Augusta was probably worse since he led the entire field by seven lengths coming off the final turn, but Goosen’s 81 at the 05 Open is going to be remembered and lampooned for a long time. The big question I have is whether Goose can ever get his mystique back. I guess if he comes back next year and wins at Winged Foot, yesterday will be chalked up as an anomaly, and the mystique will be restored. But if he pulls this again at Winged Foot or Torrey Pines, he may become known as the guy who almost coughed one up at Southern Hills and may have just gotten lucky at Shinecock.

If you do it once, you are Rex Chapman. If you do it twice, you are in there with Steve Kerr. When you do it as many times as Robert Horry has done it in big NBA playoff games, you are in a club that only has one other totally exempt member. Horry’s legacy as perhaps the greatest role player in NBA history was secure well before he hit a monstrous three to win game five of the NBA Finals last night. But last night, Bob earned my vote for the Basketball hall of Fame. I agree with ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowher on this one: Bob Horry’s playoff exploits deserve to be immortalized at that ugly shrine up there in Springfield. There is now just too large a body of work to ignore and for those of you who point to Robert’s tame regular exploits as a reason for disbarment, I say go fuck yourself. If you missed last night’s game, you missed a classic and one of Horry’s best. In the fourth quarter and overtime, Bob was singlehandedly keeping his team in the game, nailing threes, driving hard and grabbing offensive rebounds. This guy is just uncanny. He is simply the second deadliest shooter in NBA Finals history. PERIOD. (Sorry Larry) For years now, Big Shot Bob has been nailing huge shots with NBA championship and semi-final games on the line. I don’t care that the guy sports modest career numbers. I don’t care that he hasn’t scored 20,000 points or collected 8000 rebounds. I don’t care that he hasn’t made many (any) all-star games. I don’t care that he has never averaged more then a dozen points a game. All I care is this guy is a specialist and his specialty is nailing threes when huge games are on the line. That is like specializing in hitting three run bombs in championship series when your team is a run down or hitting game winning field goals from fifty with the wind in your face. Bob Horry’s specialty is something worth memorializing. This guy is becoming synonymous with winning games in the NBA Finals like Whitey Ford became known for winning World Series games. This guy has just done it too much and for too long. Hell, if Adam Vinaterri is going into Canton for nailing all those kicks, I think we can clear some space for Bob in Springfield. And for those of you who say allowing Bob entry into Springfield would cheapen the honor, I say that honor was cheapened long ago. Hell, we trip over ourselves honoring longevity so why not honor brilliance for a change.

[Editors Note - Robert Horry stands no chance of being elected to the Hall of Fame.]

Following Jason Giambi’s walk off home run Wednesday night, I direly predicted the Yanks would go on a roll and look what happened. Four wins later, the Yanks are four games over .500 and headed into a cupcake series with the Devil rays. Could we be looking at a ten game winning streak by the time this club opens with the Mets on Friday? It is definitely possible, although a Senn Henn start could be a loss. Kevin Brown is now on the DL for the 28th time of his career which is a record for pitchers. Kerry Wood and Jaret Wright both have shots at that record, that is if either can ever get healthy. If the Yanks truly get ths turned around, the guys to blame are Jose Mesa, who gave up that charity to Giambolic, and that first base umpire who inexplicably gave the Yanks an extra out. I am not going to panic because the last time I checked, Carl Pavano, Tanyon and Tom Gordon still pitch for the Yanks and Bernie, Jason and Tino are still around, but things look a lot worse today then they did a week ago.

Does this Cleveland run have legs? Don’t look now, but the Tribe has won nine in a row after sweeping San Francisco, Colorado and Arizona. That isn’t exactly sweeping Murderers Row, the Gas House Gang, and the Big Red Machine, but a nine win streak is nothing to quibble with. These guys have pitched great of late although some of it is a bit misleading since San Diego can’t hit at home and Colorado can’t hit on the road. Nonetheless, the Tribe are back in the Central hunt with the Red Sox coming in for three this week. I am still not sold that a bullpen comprised of guys like Rhodes, Sauerbeck, Howry and Wickman can hold up. Riding these guys is like riding 10,000 mile Bridgestones for an extra 5,000 miles .Those beat up tires may last for a little while longer, but a blowout looms.

The Red Sox took two out of three this weekend off the Pirates, although Saturday’s loss exposed their short bullpen once again. Foulke seems to be improving, Timlin has been rock solid, and Mike Meyers has been effective, but the rest of that crew has been atrocious. Matt Mantei and John Halama are digging their own graves, while an order for Alan Embree’s oak coffin was placed Saturday night. Mantei is particularly hard to figure out - he has high octane gas and a solid hook yet there may not be a more hittable guy in the American League. With that bullpen a mess, Theo may have to give first round pick Craig Hansen his dough in order to have him available by September. On the plus side for Boston, Billy Mueller is white hot, while Kevin Millar is finding his stroke. It comes at an important time for the Sox who play 16 of their next 19 against winning teams. 12-7 is probably a stretch, but I’d love 11-8 and could live with 10-9.

Both the Mets and the Dodgers had miserable weeks as LA dropped six at KC and Comisky, while the Mets took five body blows out West in Oakland and Seattle. The Dodgers lost two late inning leads this weekend and they now find themselves two games under .500 as they head into a series with Los Madres this week. You take that hot start away from LA and they are basically Houston. With all those injuries, its hard to see this team hanging tough. And what the hell is Jeff Weaver doing complaining about lack of run support - his ERA is close to five. The 2nd Armored Division would have trouble giving him the firepower he needs. The Mets, meanwhile, are starting to look a little like the 2004 Mets. You know things are bad when Pedro Martinez actually loses a game to Seattle - a franchise which has been his little bitch since 1998. Petey was something like 14-0 against the Mariners going into Saturday night, but the M’s evidently got tired of playing the submissive. I am not sure what the Mets can do at this point, but dumping Kaz Ishii is a given and perhaps its time to trade Mike Cameron and begin thinking about 2006. I think it’s a forgone conclusion at this point that the Mets are not going to let Glavine pitch enough to guarantee that 2006 contract. I think I could make a few bucks around Shea selling shirts that say "Free Aaron."

The Twins suddenly look pretty ordinary while the White sox just may put away the AL Central by Mid-August. This weekend, the Twins lost another series to a team from the pitiful NL West, which makes it three series in a row. Mr. Santana was the loser yesterday and for some reason, he is having trouble keeping the ball in play at the Metrodome. He is still fanning people all over the place, but he has given up 10 bombs at home and only two away. Another problem for Minnesota has been Brad Radke who has had a miserable month and may miss his next start with a neck injury. While the Twinkies have been lethargic, the White Sox keep chugging along. Its unlikely the Sox will get a single everyday player on the all-star team, but pitchers Jon Garland, Mark Buehrle, Dustin Hermanson and Cliff Politte all stand a decent shot to be selected. Politte, in particular, has been spectacular. The guy is 5-0 with seven holds while striking out 30 in 27 innings. Oh, by the way, he hasn’t given up a bomb since Matt Stairs tagged him in April. He is so far from himself that it would take an Eric Milton type second half for him to truly revert back to his historical norm. If Chicago weren’t hot enough, they now get Kansas City for three. That would have sounded cushier three weeks ago but since Buddy Bell has taken over, the Royals are 12-6 with sweeps over both the Yanks and the Dodgers. Bell took over when the Royals were 13-37. I say give him manager of the year if he can somehow coax 70 wins out of this horrific club. That would leave Bell’s Royals at 57-58. I don’t think Ozzie has anything to worry about.

There has been an awful lot of talk this year about how the Yanks made a huge mistake letting Jon Lieber go and I tend to agree that it was a mistake, but it is not as though Lieber is having any kind of year whatsoever. He does have eight wins, but that 4.6 ERA is not exactly mint. And while its true he has been hammered at that bandbox in Philly, it is not as if he has been Steve Carlton on the road. Part of Lieber’s problem is lefties are killing him and that wouldn’t have served the Yanks well against Boston’s southpaws.

June 16 - The USGA's War On Par

2005-06-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

The United State Golf Association likes to think its Open Championship is the toughest golf tournament in the world, and as such, they go to great lengths to make sure that just a handful of players complete the tourney with scores in the red. To accomplish its goal, the USGA tricks up its open courses by adding yardage, growing cabbage and drying out the greens. The result is usually a pretty damn tough track. However, these tricks alone are usually not enough to defend a score of par so the USGA now resorts to a little mathematical sleight of hand. Rather then just admitting that par cannot be defended, the USGA simply changes the definition of par by turning its par fives into impossibly long par fours and lowering par from say 72 or 71 to 70. Who do they think they are fooling? By re-numbering the course, the USGA is simply engaging in a war of semantics that is pretty transparent to any true golf fan. Nonetheless, come Monday, the USGA will prevail when the winner comes in at three under and a variety of USGA enablers in the media will concede the course triumphed over the talent. In many instances, this is just not the case. I say this because if a player shoots three under on a par 70 course that is usually played at par 71, he has really shot seven under.

This prospect terrifies the USGA and golf pundits who could not fathom holding an Open that was apparently benign. Last week’s tourney at Congressional puts this argument into specific relief. When the US Open was played there in 1997, it was played as a par 70. Last week, it was played as it usually is as a Par 71. The USGA may have been proud that 1997 winner Ernie Ells was only four under, but they were deluding themselves His 276 was really eight under the figure that usually separates the red from the black at Congressional. The question I have for the USGA is what they will do when people start banging around their par 70 courses. Will they respond by taking out a par five and start saying their courses are par 69? What about turning a short par four into an impossibly long 282 yard par 3. You will never see Hootie and the boys down in Georgia do such things. They are perfectly content with their par 72 track.

The point here is that the USGA does the right thing when it makes its courses challenging. And its courses are challenging regardless of whether the winner is three under on an par 70 or seven under on a par 71. I have no problem with adding some yardage and speeding the greens. My problem lies in the USGA’s myopic focus on defending par and their reliance on "new" math to accomplish their goals. They are fooling no one - other then those in the media who love leads that are punctuated with references to the course. The problem is such leads don’t read as well when the winner comes in at seven under par.

For those of you Yankee fans who wonder why there is such antipathy towards your team, I would advise you to take a look at yesterday’s press conference where the club’s brass announced its plans to build a new stadium. The public hasn’t seen that same amount of arrogance and self-congratulatory back slapping since Hitler and his club compelled the French to surrender in 1940. What a bunch of crap. First of all, this formality took seventy-five minutes to conclude and featured a half dozen speakers. This should have been ten minutes of President Randy Levine, five minutes of Mayor Bloomberg and ten minutes of questions. All in, this thing should have been wrapped in thirty minutes, forty tops. But such a time-line was impossible since it would not have enabled the Yankees to hammer home the theme that this stadium was being financed entirely with private monies. Well, at least for the stadium itself and not the accompanying infrastructure improvements. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that those speaking on behalf of the club itself have a particularly hard time saying the word "private" without stuttering. The emphasis on this private financing theme is entirely transparent. By highlighting the financing plan, the Club is overtly claiming a moral superiority over all those teams (everyone but St. Louis) that sought and received public financing. Hell, I applaud the Yankees for building this "cathedral" (their words - not mine), but enough with this high-handedness. Listen, I am sure some other clubs would love to build new stadiums with their own money, but most don’t have that luxury since they are already burdened with significant debt loads. Further, they don’t have enormous corporate sponsors who are ready to make upfront commitments that help soften the blow. The Yankess don’t have this problem since George bought the team in 1973 for a mere $10 million and companies like Verizon and Chase are ready to cough up big sums for advertising rights. You think George would be doing this without public money if he had to finance $300 million in existing debt, didn’t have Verizon’s check in his pocket and wasn’t allowed to deduct some construction costs from his future luxury tax bill? You are a crack smoker if you answered that in the affirmative. This whole pow wow was just nauseating but it was all the stuff us Yankee haters have come to detest. The basic message was: "we have money and that makes us better then you." Yesterday’s flagrant waving of the checkbook is nothing new but that doesn’t make it digestible. Oh, and I almost forgot this comment from Mr. Bloomberg: "to many around the world, the Yankees are America."

It was walkoff city yesterday as a host of games ended with a final climatic swing. It started in the Bronx where Giambolic deposited a Jose Mesa fastball in the upper deck to conclude a 7-5 comeback victory. Last night was just the first time all year the Yanks had come back after trailing after eight and it only happened because an umpire absolutely butchered a call that would have ended the game in the ninth. Its funny how that call didn’t get much attention in today’s New York tabloids. Regardless, this was a huge win for the Yanks who were on the verge of having their meager momentum stopped once again. The second walkoff happened out in Cleveland where Aaron Boone parked one in the 11th against Colorado after the Tribe rallied to tie it in the ninth. Aaron Boone should change his number to 11 and if you don’t get that reference, you should probably stop reading. By the way, after losing last night, the Rockies are just 4-25 away from Coors. The last group to play this bad on the road was the Army of the Confederacy (0-2, with a loss at Antietam and a loss up in Central Pennsylvania). The last game to end on a final swing occurred out in Oakland where Marcus Scuttaro sunk the Mets with a big two-out hit in the ninth off Roberto Hernandez. This was a bad loss for the Mets who are now 0-2 on an important twelve game roadtrip. The Mets have now fallen below .500 and you just get the feeling ths team is sinking fast. Their pitching isn’t bad, but that offense is struggling mightily. Carlos Beltran is just one for his last nineteen and some fans are now grousing that the Mets should have signed Delgado instead. Mets GM Omar Minaya can no longer sit by and wait for Minky to turn it around at first. He needs a run producer there and he needs it by the end of June.

In Boston last night, the Sox got a nice outing from Bronson Arroyo who found some bite on his breaking balls, but any optimism has to be a bit guarded considering the team he shut down was the pitiful Reds. The Sox swept the Reds by a combined score of 23-4 and it could have been worse. I realize the Reds weren’t playing with a full deck last night, but do they have to swing at everything that comes down the pike? And for any of you who think Reds right fielder Willie Mo Pena has any trade value outside of fantasy - think again. HE STINKS! Other then Ryan Freel and perhaps Sean Casey or Aaron Harang, I am not sure I wold take anyone on Cincy’s roster. While the Red Sox were beating up on one NL doormat, the Orioles were doing the same down in Camden where Baltimore swept the Astros right out of town. The birds now draw Colorado for three and that very likely means another sweep and probably a four game lead when we open play next Monday. Can someone explain to me how Blue Jay Ted Lilly can shut down St. Louis and Boston while getting torched by Houston and Oakland? All Lilly did last night was blank the Cards over seven. After watching the Cards get locked up by Lilly, David Wells and Randy Johnson over the last eight days, I am beginning wonder if they have some issue with lefties. Rolen’s return will obviously help in this department since he is clearly an upgrade over Scott Seabol and Abe Nunez.

In Detroit, the Cats ended Adam Eaton’s eight game winning streak as Mike Maroth pitched eight strong innings. So much for the theory that Los Madres can hit when they are not behind the counter at the Pet Store. The pads have now lost eight of ten and ten of thirteen. They should be putting away that division but instead are doing everything to allow Arizona and Los Angles stick around. With that said, I am not too sure L.A. has much staying power since it now looks like Eric Gagne is through for the season. The Dodgers have survived thus far without his services but his trip to the shelf is a big blow. Things have gotten a bit ugly for the Ddogers who lost their second straight in KC last night. To add insult to injury, former Dodger Jose Lima picked up the win for the Royales. Hee Sop went homerless for a Dodger offense that was only able to scratch out a single run off the lima bean. The Royales are now just a win away from sweeping both the Dodgers and Yankees this month. I call that a Bi-Coastal bitch slap. After losing last night in Tampa, Brewer hurler Victor Santos is 2-6 with an ERA of 2.87. If he pitched in St. Louis, he would be 6-2 and get an occasional mention on Baseball Tonight.

The White Sox staff continued to get roughed up last night but the offense came through with ten in the sixth and Jon Garland was able to secure his eleventh victory. Paul Konerko, much like Manny Ramirez, is starting to come alive for the palehose. I forgot to mention yesterday that Carl Everett has now stated for the record that he doesn't like homosexuals and is opposed to gay marriage. That is a real shocker, especially when one considers that Mr. Progressive doesn’t believe dinosaurs existed and is suspicious that Americans have ever walked on the moon. Would somebody please ask Carl how he feels about parents that beat their children. Tony Clark’s mystical season for Arizona continued last night with a three run bomb that gives him 11 in just 125 at bats. Manager Bob Melvin gets points in my book for resisting the urge to play Clark more. Clark is not an everyday player regardless of what the stats may suggest. There were no fireworks in Anaheim last night after the Nats and Angels squared off on Tuesday. Newcomer Ryan Drese blanked the Halos over eight and Chad Cordero came in to pick up the save. Bart Colon took the hard luck loss for Anaheim which couldn’t do a thing with Drese’s sinker. Interestingly, Frank Robinson did not come out and meet Angel manager Mike Sciosca before the game to exchange scorecards. I guess Frank really is pissed off over what happened on Tuesday night. Either that or he had already fallen asleep.

June 15 - Open Predictions and Powell's 9.77

2005-06-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

I am not going to spend a great deal of time previewing the US Open but here are some predictions: David Duval will not be playing on Saturday - NBC will have prepared a five minute montage memorializing Payne Stewart and his victory at the last Open played at Pinehurst - John Daly won't take an 11 this year like he did in 1999 but he will take an eight - A couple of Europeans will complain about the heat - The best Thursday/Friday grouping includes Scott, Cink and Mickelson - Jeff Maggert will sniff the lead on Sunday but will be stricken down by bad luck one again - Tiger will make a slight charge and as per usual we will see every shot he hits, but he will fade and finish 8th - Mickelson will play in one of the final three groups on Sunday - Johnny will mention his win at Oakmont at least three times on Sunday - The course will play a bit easier then in 1999, especially on Saturday, so I say 276 will win and 146 will make the cut - Someone at NBC will mention that Davis Love played his college golf just up the road - Here my top eight: 8) Woods 7) Cink 6) Garcia 5) Els 4) Maggert 3) Mickelson 2) Scott 1) THE GOOSE

Congratulations go out this morning to Asafa Powell who yesterday broke Tim Montgomery’s three year old world record in the 100 Meters. This is not only a great day for Powell, who now wears the title as the fastest man in history, but it is a great day for track and field. I say this because it cleanses the record book of a mark that is clearly tainted by the evils of performance enhancing drugs. Montgomery was clearly juiced when he ran his 9.78 in 2002. That is a fact. If you want to debate the issue, explain to me why he hasn’t been able to crack 10.2 since the drug doping regulators started watching him closely. In fact, he ran a 10.4 the other day, which is just a bit quicker then Flo Jo’s women’s world record. Such results don’t merely call his record into question. They expose it as a complete fraud. With that said, I believe it is a nice development that his mark is no longer the standard to measure others. Getting that mark off the books is analogous to what happened this summer in Athens when the U.S. Women’s 4 x 200 Freestyle Relay took out an East German World Record that was set before the wall came crumbling down. I applauded that performance last August just like I am applauding this performance today. These drug enhanced efforts have no business residing in our record books. They were achieved illegally and deserve no positive recognition. Thankfully, drug testing in amateur sports has improved and these tainted marks are being gradually weaned from the record books. This whole rant is of course predicated on the assumption that Asafa’s piss will clear waivers.

Staying with Powell - it seems we have the makings of a great rivalry shaping up between the twenty-two year old Powell and American Justin Gaitlin, the gold medalist from last Summer’s Athens Olympics..These kids are young, super fast and should be battling each other all the way to Bejing. This may be Carl and Ben all over again. This may be Coe and Ovett all over again. This may be Mary and Zola all over again. Check that - Mary and Zola was a fraud. Nonetheless, we now have a good old rivalry, made all the sweeter by the fact that these two sprinters are not from the same country. I, for one, will be watching when these two hook up at this summer’s World Championships. If the Kentucky Derby is the most exciting two minutes in sports then this Summer’s WC 100 meters will certainly be the most exciting 9.7 or 9.8 seconds in sports.

Quick Hits - Shaq’s most recent comments on Kobe Bryant are some of the funniest offered in the history of sports. When asked about Kobe, Shaq said: "I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is" Priceless! Baylor killer Carlton Dotson got 35 years for killing his teammate. How come Dave Bliss didn’t get anything? John Madden is going to work for NBC. He has now worked for ABC, Fox, NBC and CBS. What is next, hosting a late night talk show on the WB? Bill Laimbeer is interviewing to coach the Knicks. Isn’t that a demotion from coaching the Detroit Shock of the WNBA? Jason Sobel of ESPN just wrote that Tom Lehman lost a playoff to Ernie at the 1997 US Open at Congressional. Is Jason pretending that Tom never cooked that seven iron on 17 which ended up costing him a place in a playoff?

Baseball Bytes: I am not sure there is a more surprising story this year then the emergence of Bruce Chen as a solid hurler for the Birds. Chen won his sixth game last night and is now just a victory short of matching his career high. Chen showed some of this last year - his first in Baltimore - but nobody chose to pay attention. Just in case you care, over the past two years, Chen’s OPS against is roughly 100 points lower then his career average. That is pretty startling when you consider that Chen throws half his games at the Inner Harbor Launching Pad. Is it just me of does it seem like Miggy has two knocks and couple of RBI every night. David Wells was simply awesome last night, spotting his pitches with sniper-like precision. He has actually pitched well of late, with four solid outings since he switched numbers from 3 to 16. Manny belted another long ball last night and that makes it three in three games. There has been much talk in Boston of Manny’s woes, but he is on pace to jack 35 and drive in 127. Here is a message for Reds GM Dan O’Brian - you can’t keep both Willy Mo and Adam Dunn. That is just too many whiffs for one lineup to absorb, especially one in the NL. The Stanks got a much needed win over the Bucs last night as Moose delivered a gem. That is the third good start in a row for the Yanks and you get the feel that they may be able to do some damage on this homestand. Such talk may be premature since the pinstripes have Downtown Kevin Brown tossing tonight. Did Hideki Matsushi actually go long last night? More importantly, did Giambolic actually get that ball to the warning track last night?

Chris Carpenter threw one of the six shutouts that were banged out last night. Jesus, you take away the juice and no one can hit anymore. Carpenter’s one hit gem lifted his record to 9-4 and was supported for four Cardinal long balls. While Carp was feeling it, Jake Peavy was only a bit better then ordinary. He did strike out ten, but five runs were scored on his watch. Jake’s internals are great but he has to start picking up some wins at some point. He currently projects out to just 12-5. The Tribe blasted Colorado phenom Jeff Francis who for some reason can keep guys in check at Coors but gets lit on the road. Francis is going to be the only guy ever who Colorado can’t trade because he can’t pitch outside the friendly confines of Coors Field. Tomo Ohka got run out of Washington by crotchety old Frank Robinson - so what does he do in his first start for the Brew Crew? Well, he goes out and throws a complete game shutout over Lou’s Losers. Ohka is having a career year as evidenced by the fact that his batting average against (BAA) right now is 50 points lower then his career average. With Jorge Cantu hitting third for the Devil Rays, how long will it be before we see Delmon Young called up? The Drays supposedly don’t want to prematurely trigger his MLB service clock, but at some point, they have to put their best cards on the table. Does anyone have worse luck then Devil Ray Rocco Baldelli? First he tears up his knee playing with some kid in the off-season. Now, while on the cusp of coming back, Rocco blew out his elbow and will need major surgery.

Its been a rough couple starts for former Cuban Yankees in Chicago. First, Jose Contreras gets lit up and last night El Duque puked up a lung against the Dbacks. I wouldn’t be surprised to see both these Cubans collapse over the next month. Here is a potential pitfall for the White Sox - What happens if Fidel Castro dies this summer and both their Cubans split for home? That Nats have some exposure to that as well. How can Scott Posednik be fast enough to steal 32 yet only amass nine doubles? Does Scott ever hit the ball out of the infield? Just hours after I pronounced Atlanta dead, they went out and spanked the Rangers. The Brave hurler last night was Jorge Sosa who somehow is 3-0 with a low ERA even though he gives up tons of hits and walks. This guy must lead the league in getting guys to ground into double plays, When the Rangers released Ryan Drese, how come they didn’t also cut their ties to Pedro Astacio? I loved the tiff that came up last night between Frank Robinson and Mike Sciossca. Robby may be able to intimidate some, but Mike isn’t one of them. I would actually like to see these two go at it on the undercard of the next Tyson fight.

Hee Sop Choi hit another friggin bomb last night. That makes it seven in four games. J.D. Drew is having a monster June for the Dodgers. The virgin is hitting over .400 and slugging over .800 this month and has quieted some of those who felt that Dodgers lost their mind when they gave this kid $55 million. When the Twins and Giants go extra innings, is there any doubt whose bullpen will prevail? Johan Santana actually walked a couple of guys last night on his way to a no decision. The Cubs, led by Derrick Lee, absolutely pounded the Fish, whose starter, Josh Beckett, continues to be average on the road. His ERA is 2.5 in Miami and over four on the road. If you want to know why the Fish are having trouble, look no further then the top of their lineup. The only guy in Florida who is having a worse year then Juan Pierre is that Florida State quarterback who was pepper sprayed and taken into custody this week after he claimed he was the son of god. By the way, who are we mortals to say that kid isn’t the Son of God? Just cause he can’t beat Florida or throw more TDs then pics doesn’t mean his dad isn’t the big guy. The Mets spit the bit last night as Joe Blanton completely shut them down. The pressure is starting to build on Carlos Beltran and for good reason. His excuses are getting old. Jon Lieber was a tough luck loser for the Phils who were also saddened to hear that Randy Wolf will be lost for the year. With Wolf shelved, the pressure is on Vincente Paadilla to get his act together. Eddie Guardado is having a real nice year for Seattle and it makes you wonder why the Ms don’t trade him before he inevitably starts complaining about having a tired arm.

June 14 - Enough Larry, Enough Rasheed!

2005-06-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

Enough is enough - I have had it with all this complaining that is coming from the Detroit Pistons bench and coach Larry Brown. It is unwatchable and it is just another reason why this is going to be the least watched NBA Finals since the games used to be shown on tape delay back in the early eighties. It is bad enough that the Pistons vigorously challenge every single call that goes against them but the latest effort is just too much. It seems the Pistons have come with empirical data that shows how successful they are with one set of referees and how poorly they do when other refs are involved. Save it Larry - this is basketball and not litigation. It is time for Brown and Rasheed to shut the fuck up and play basketball. Have you ever seen a championship team that is so obsessed with the quality of the officiating? This Pistons team has to be one of least emotionally sound I have ever come across. There is simply no mental toughness or accountability at work here. The Pistons aren’t a basketball team. They are a scorned and jilted chick. Enough already. The games are being called closely and the Pistons need to adapt. End of story.

What the hell was Philadelphia General Manager Ed Wade thinking when he agreed to give his shortstop - Jimmy Rollins - a five year contract extension that is worth $40 million. Granted, Rollins is still a kid, but this is a lead off guy who is hitting .260 with an OBP of just over .300. He has some pop and has cut down on his Ks, but $40 million? Jimmy should call up Colombians Edgar Renteria and Orlando Cabrera and thank them mightily for driving the price tag for solid but unspectacular shortstops up to stratospheric levels When I see a guy like Rollins get 5/40, I begin to wonder what Johnny Damon, perhaps the best lead off hitter in baseball - is going to get next December. And do you think Wade would have handed out such largesse three weeks ago before the Phils went on a 16-6 run? Back then, Wade was probably praying for his job and not too concerned about mortgaging the club’s future on a kid who had a nice 2004 but has done little this year to back it up. And now that Rollins is signed, what is Wade going to do with Pat Burrell who is just a year away from free agency? He is having a monster year and Wade will have to fork over big bucks if he wants to keep his left fielder in Philly after 2006.

Baseball Bytes: The Orioles weren’t busted, they just needed a little home cooking and a date with the Astros to get well. Larry Bigbie returned for the birds last night and got three knocks while Sammy remained hot and Senn Penn picked up his first MLB win. Morgan Ensberg strikes out way too much for Houston, but he has quietly smacked 15 bombs and is slugging over .550. Everybody assumes he is a blue blood with that ridiculous name but Morgan is actually a SoCal beach kid. The D-Train now has eleven victories after he shut down Chicago last night and that puts him on pace to win 28, which would be the most since Denny McClain won 31 in 1968. Trivia - who has the highest win total since McClain put up those 31 on his way to federal prison? One thing to keep in mind about this Marlins team - they haven’t played well of late and they still have an entire three game set to make up in Colorado. Two of those games are now scheduled for an off day early in August. That will surely put some pressure on a staff that has already chalked up a lot of innings.

The Red Sox were handed several cheap runs last night and that was more then enough for Matt Clement to chalk up his seventh win. Manny’s jack last night was gift wrapped but it feels like he is finally starting to get hot. His round-tripper came on a night when they memorialized the leftfield pole at Fenway as Fisk Pole. WEAK MOVE! Eric Milton got shelled for the Reds last night and his ERA is now hovering just below 8. Milty is running away with this year’s race to be 2005's worst off-season signing. Dontrelle and Pedro have gotten most of the attention, but the best pitcher in the majors right now is Toronto’s Roy Halladay. It isn’t even close. He completely shut down St. Louis last night while picking up his tenth win. Big Roy has now given up just four earned runs over his last 39 innings. With the win, the Jays moved 1.5 games ahead of their rivals from New York. Why in the world did the Devil Rays release Alex Sanchez? The guy was hitting well over .300 and that suggests he must have been a real pain in the ass behind the scenes. Jorge Cantu had three knocks for the Rays last night and he is quietly having a pretty nice year but Jorge, would it be too much to ask for a few walks. He has three free passes in more then 200 at bats. Alfonso Soriano jacked two long balls off Tim Hudson last night as the Braves hurler was unable to make it out of the third. The Braves are now just a game over .500 and it certainly feels like this team is about ready to collapse. The Braves remind me a bit of the German Army after the Battle of the Bulge. They have lost all their veterans, all their fuel and all their armor. What is left is a bunch of inexperienced kids who have no idea what it was like to play for a winning team. Chris Young is now 6-3 for the Rangers and is certainly a candidate to make the all-star team. Wouldn’t that be something if two Ranger starters were selected? The odds on that pre-season would have been something like 40-1.

It took a while, but Jose Contreras finally showed White Sox fans what he is all about. He gave up eight runs and four bombs in six innings last night. Has anyone in baseball been more productive then Dback Tony Clark? This clown is hitting .359 with ten home runs in only 117 at bats. This was arguably the worst player in baseball a few years ago and this year he is slugging over .700. That Scientology stuff must work. All good things must come to an end and that is what happened to the Nationals ten game winning streak last night. Vlad had a huge game against the Nats and he is now 9-16 since coming off the DL. Just imagine what will happen when Che Guerrero gets his timing back.

Trivia Answer - Robert Lynn Welch won 27 for the 1990 Oakland Athletics.

WFAN’s Mike Francesca has been getting away with a particular line for the past couple weeks that begs to be challenged. The Fat Man has been insisting that if given the opportunity, it is a layup for a contender to pull the trigger and take Barry Zito off Oakland’s hands. His thesis - Zito is young, left handed and already has a Cy Young sitting on the shelf. With credentials like that, the obese one thinks it’s a slam dunk. What lard ass forgets or disregards is that since Barry’s Cy Young year of 2002, the southpaw is 28-30 with an ERA around 3.90. Lard Ass couldn’t care less about these facts or the fact that Zito hasn’t been able to get a lefty out in two years. In fact, not only does he not care about these facts, but he is openly hostile when anyone suggests Zito is less then the pitcher he was a few years back. His repetitive refrain on this subject is nobody in their right mind could pass on a 27 year old lefty with Barry’s record. I wonder if wide load was saying the same thing about Fernando back in 1986. After all, in 1986, Fernanado was only 27 and sported a Cy Young and a 99-68 record. And what happened to Valenzuela from there on out? Well, he finished 14-14 the next year and never won more then 13 games after that. Wide load suggests that you can’t go wrong with a kid who has Zito’s track record but Fernando offers compelling evidence that proves him wrong. This is just another case of a pundit refusing to admit that a phenom may have lost it. What Francesca and other pundits are loathe to do is accept that you are what you are, not what you were. Zito may be able to pull it together in a new city, but this is certainly an open ended question, even though Lard Ass would like his listeners to believe otherwise. Perhaps if Mike watched Barry throw more then a couple of games a year, he might tone down the rhetoric.

June 13 - Sharapova versus Kournakova

2005-06-13T14:25:00.000-07:00

This week’s cover of ESPN Magazine is graced by none other then the super-hot Maria Sharapova and it got me thinking whether there are any people out there who still harbor the belief that Anna Kournakova is comparable to Ms. Sharapova in the looks department. It boggles my mind that there are people, like my roommate, who think this is anything less then a twelve length win for Sharapova. And I am not talking about Tennis skills here. We can all agree that Anna doesn’t belong on the same court as the defending Wimbledon champ. That is a fact - not opinion. But even in the looks department, this is a 6-3, 6-0 win for Sharapova. After all, Ms Sharapova is basically Ruffian, who for those of you who don’t get the reference was the greatest filly of all time. She is an absolute monster in the looks department, standing six feet tall with a face that could launch a thousand ships. Kournakova, on the other hand, is a late night Chili Cheese burger and a commitment to do anal away from starring in Vivid’s upcoming trilogy TenAss, Flushing Julie Meadows and Jenna’s Grand Slam. If Sharapova is indeed Ruffian, Kournakova is a four year filly who still hasn’t broken her maiden and is still running claiming races at third tier tracks like Pimlico or Bay Meadows. I, for one, could never understand how Kournakova won ESPN’s first "hottest female athlete" contest a few years back. Who was voting for this bubble face? I guess the same people who made Cindy Margolis the most downloaded women on the internet, a claim that I was always viewed with suspicion. Kournakova is attractive, but I have long felt her looks were way over-appreciated and a bit over-marketed by a tour that didn’t have much else to promote. There was Hingis, but she was more like a 7.5 than a 10 and the Williams sisters. That isn’t exactly a stocked cupboard. And so what if Anna nailed Sergei Federov - that isn’t exactly nailing Orr, Gretzky or Lemeiux. You think Sharapova would ever dare sleep with a one-dimensional scorer who is a borderline hall of famer? Think again. The bet here is Sharapova could bag a serious whale and I am not talking about the Manu Ginobli’s and Carl Pavanos of the world. No, I am talking stratosphere here. How does Maria Brady sound? Probably not so great to Bridget Moynihan who is Brady's Fiance.

I have been off for a while, but I did want to point out something that struck me over the break. Women’s Softball is becoming a big sport in this country and I believe its growth is due largely to the fact that there are finally some good looking gals playing the game. I actually noticed this about six weeks ago when I tuned in to an Iowa State game and saw a number of lean mean fighting Cyclones going yard and smothering grounders. This surprised me since softball has traditionally been viewed as the property of butchy looking lesbians. But things have definitely changed in recent years. First, Jenny Finch burst on the scene and now there are a handful of girls on each college team that are attractive. This is painful to concede but I actually watched three or four games during the recent College World Series fairly closely, although I must admit that UCLA made the finals so this had something to do with my interest. But putting UCLA’s participation aside, the games are actually bearable to watch. There isn’t a ton of strategy but virtually all the games are tight and some of the gals are hot. If you don’t believe me, go to the UCLA Athletic Department website and check out Lisa Dodd, the Bruins first baseman. I’ll take her over Kournakova any day of the week. I am not saying softball is going to become a staple for me, but I’ll take it over the WNBA any day of the week. By the way, UCLA lost the best of three finals to Michigan but with a ton of gals coming back, including a stud freshman pitcher who goes by the name Jelly, the Bruins should be favored to win their third championship in four years next June. Hey, the Bruins may be terrible in Football and a bit better then average at hoops, but they sure can play volleyball, softball, tennis and water polo.

National League Notes: The National League East is shaping up to be a real dogfight this year but it is looking more and more like the Braves will not be a part of it. The Bravos, with Chipper out a month and a bullpen in shambles, are suffocating on their own vomit. I am not sure he has many other alternatives, but how long is he going to stick with Rafael Furcal leading off? Those 23 steals are not enough to offset that .222 average. While the Bravos are falling apart, the Nationals continue to surge forward as they notched their tenth straight yesterday. The Nationals bullpen continues to flourish with Gary Majewski, Luis Ayala and Chad Cordero, but is manager Frank Robinson burning this trio out? The problem with the Nationals is they don’t score a ton of runs and so they play a lot of close games that require multi-inning bullpen stints. GM Jim Bowden better find this trio some help or there will be some brownouts in the beltway come August. I know Tomo Ohka had to go after he showed up Robinson, but was Junior Spivey fair compensation? That is like trading a 2003 Honda Accord for a 2001 Neon. The Mets had a great moment Saturday night with Cliff Floyd’s walkoff but they couldn’t follow it up on Sunday with Pedro. The end result was a very mediocre 12 game home-stand where the Mets finished 6-6. They now go on a 12 game trip where 6-6 is probably a realistic goal, especially since Pedro will only get two starts, one probably coming at Yankee Stadium on the 24th. We are still in the first inning on Carlos Beltran’s seven year deal, but things are going a bit below plan. He currently projects out to a 18 bomb and 75 RBI year which is in a neighborhood that usually nets contracts worth $10 million over three years (not 7/115). The one stolen base and the forty-one Ks are not exactly selling points either. If the Mets are going to stay in this thing, they need Beltran to be something a little better then Troy O’Leary. How about this run: since May 24th, the Phillies are 15-2. If Bobby Abreu is the most underappreciated player in baseball, Chase Utley my be second. The former Bruin hit his tenth bomb yesterday and his numbers should only improve now that his understudy has been exiled to Motown. Florida remains locked in the race to win the NL’s biggest underachiever award as they are now only 5-13 over their past 18. The fish simply struggle to score runs and that bullpen is a long way from blue chip. It may be a bit premature, but I am thinking about dropping the new Pope and taking fish manager Jack McKeown in my 2005 dead pool.

NL Central: The Cardinals had an A minus week, punking both the Red Sox and the Yankees in front of more then 300K patrons at Busch. Yankee announcer Mike Kay had a horrible Sunday as he twice mentioned the Yankee series was the most heavily attended in Busch history. That is simply factually incorrect and Kay was once again exposed as nothing more then a Yankee organizational mouthpiece. Card Mark Morris didn’t get the win yesterday, but he remains 7-0 and the Cards big four of Carpenter, Morris, Marquis and Mulder is now 30-11. The Pirates spent exactly one day at .550 before they fell back with a loss on Sunday against Tampa. The Pirates now begin a brutal stretch where they will play 16 of 19 on the road, the next six of which come at New York and Boston. I continue to believe that the Pirates had the best trade of the off-season when they dumped Jason Kendall for Mark Redman. The Red Man has kept the ball in the ball park and sports an ERA under three. This team may have the arms to compete in 2006 but GM Dave Littlefield has to go out and get a big bat for this lineup. Waiting for Craig Wilson to return is not the answer and Jason Bay needs help. The Brewers had a miserable weekend and its just about time for Milwaukee to start turning its attention toward 2006. Getting Ohka is a nice pickup, especially since it clears the way for phenom Richie Weeks to play everyday. Lyle Overbay is mired in a terrible slump and that will certainly cost the Brewers when they look to swap him out next month. Of course with Prince Fielder stinking it up down in Nashville, are the Brewers still resigned to dealing Overbay? Unless the Sox or Mets come calling with a good young arm, I would keep Overbay as insurance in case Fielder doesn’t pan out. The Cubs had a nice weekend winning two of three from the Sox, but they now face Florida’s big three in a series that begins tonight. I am still not a buyer of the Cubs. Prior’s return will help but who cares whether Kerry Wood is back throwing again?

Out West, Hee Sop Choi had some weekend. The Korean took twelve swings this weekend and six of them left the yard. That has happened exactly one other time in the history of three game sets. Post weekend, Choi now has a decent set of numbers but that shouldn’t mask the fact that Choi is a scrub. This is a pretty amazing stat - Choi increased his slugging percentage by one hundred and twenty points in just three games. Los Madres suddenly look ordinary again after dropping two of three to the palehouse at the Pet Store. The Pads have a nice team but Kevin Towers needs to go out and get another bat for this team to mount a serious threat to the Cardinals. Mark Loretta’s return will certainly help but I am not sure they can go much further with the Sean Burroughs experiment. The Giants are now certifiably cooked and GM Brian Sabena must now decide whether he can or should keep this team together for one last run with Bonds in 2006.Such thought is a pipe dream. This team should be broken apart right now and that includes dealing Jason Schmidt even though it means dealing him at his lows. Hell, the Giants aren’t going to pick up his option next near so why not deal him while you can get something - anything - in return? Unless Schmidt can somehow come up with a couple quality starts, he won’t fetch much.

The Baltimore Orioles wrapped up a thirteen game road trip by inexplicably losing a series at Pittsburgh and then losing a series at Cincy this weekend. I am convinced that the David Ortiz walk off home run to end game four of the trip robbed this team of some much needed and deserved momentum. They now have Houston and Colorado coming to town and that should be good for a five win week. The Sox wrapped up a miserable trip by scrapping together a win at Wrigley. The Sox pitching right now is more famine then feast. They got two great starts on this trip, but in the other four games, Boston starters were absolutely torched. They desperately need Mr. Schilling back and Mr. Arroyo to rediscover some bite on his breaking balls. The Sox finally get a respite in the schedule after a brutal stretch - lets see what they can do with the reprieve? Mark Bullhorn struck out six times this weekend at Wrigley and now has 71 on the year in only 230 plate appearances. How long does Dustin Padroia have to tear up the Eastern league before the Sox call him up and send Bellhorn packing? The Yanks wrapped up a pathetic trip by losing two of three at Busch. In case you need reminding, the Yanks went 3-9 on this trip and have now lost their last five series. Everyone loves to talk about how this staff has struggled, but the offense is the real culprit. What have Yankee fans seen in Robinson Cano that I have missed? When you listen to New York radio, you would think a young Robbie Alomar was playing second for the pinstripes. Sorry guys, Cano has some decent pop (12 doubles) but this is not the future of the franchise. I loved the comments out of Lou Penally this weekend where he took Devil Ray ownership to task for not spending enough money to put a decent team on the field. I actually agree with Sweet Lou on this one. MLB should send an edict down to Tampa - spend more money or sell the team. There is now talk the Devil Rays may trade Aubrey Huff to Atlanta. What kind of signal does that send to the seventeen thousand fans in West Florida? If MLB wanted to generate some good will with the players association, in the next C.B.A., they would agree to a minimum spending provision so teams like Tampa were forced to spend some more money. After all - some colleges in Florida spend more money on their football programs then Tampa does on its baseball team.

For those of you thinking the White Sox are going to return to earth - forget it. If they play .500 on the way in, they will win 92 games. In the AL Central, that is a certainty and 55-45 is much more likely. This team will be in the playoffs. I think the Twins stand a good chance as well. They just sleepwalked through an ordinary stretch but they did it without a bunch of regulars. With Mourneau and Mauer back, this team is fully armed and ready to step it up a notch. The only reason I care about the Tigers is I know a guy who has a bet where he wins five grand for every loss above 81. That bet is looking a bit better after the Tigers lost six of their last eight. The bet here is the White Sox and Twins will have locked up playoff spots and will roll over to the Tigers during the final week of the season. The end result - the Tigers will finish 80-82 and my boy will take home only five grand. Its probably too late for the Tribe to get back in this thing, but they have climbed over .500 after winning six of seven. They have a 12 game homestead coming up that includes both Cincy and Colorado, meaning something along the lines of 8-4 or 9-3 is possible. If the Indians do in fact keep their head above water, it could keep lefty Art Rhodes off the trade block. Rhodes was a disaster in Oakland, but he has been real tough for the Tribe this year (3 BB in 25 innings) and what contender couldn’t use a solid lefty? The Red Sox, Mets, Marlins and possibly the Nationals would all kill for Rhodes right now. Kill may be too strong a word, but you get the point.

Out West. Texas scrapped together a needed win on Sunday after losing eight of ten, and two of those wins came against Kansas City. During the stretch, the club threw in the towel on Ryan Drese who now finds himself in Washington. You think Frank Robinson is going to put up with any of his shit? Drese has been getting drilled all year, but perhaps his sinker will have a better time in the NL. Don’t count on it. The Rangers sure could use some more production out of Hank Ballock who is on pace to drive in less then 100 runs but strike out 150 times. This team has a scary offense at times, but there are a lot of K’s in that lineup and too many guys who have trouble with breaking balls. Meanwhile, the Angles got Vlad back and I have the sense they are ready to roll. They didn’t play great on this road trip, but having Vlad in there makes all the difference in the world. Coming back from a 3-0 deficit to Pedro on Sunday was huge for this club, especially after handing one over to the Mets on Saturday night. Here is a peculiar stat - Chone Figgins is a switch hitter but he hits only .118 right handed. Such a stat begs the question of why he doesn’t hit left handed all the time. Are you telling me he can’t hit .118 as a lefty against southpaws? By the way, his real name is Desmond and he will be referred to as Desmond in this space from here on out. Don’t look now, but Eric Chavez has fought his way back to respectability. Sure, he is only hitting .250 with ten bombs, but that is a far cry from where he was three weeks ago. Jim Thome would kill for Eric’s numbers. Just when I thought Seattle was going to get it going, they go in Washington and get swept by the surging NATS. I found the following in a News of the Weird column: Ichiro is now hitting just .295. I always knew that guy was on steroids.

The Holic Appears Poised to Return from Disabled List

2005-06-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

Rumor has it the Holic is close to returning from the DL - armed with a new Dell Inspiron and some new vigor. According to ESPN.Com, the Holic is psending the next few days preparing for his pitch over at Comedy Central next week, but get ready for some posts next week. The Holic will be making some rehab starts down at AA this week and could play at AAA early next week. If all goes well, he should make his next start in the bigs next Tuesday or Wednesday.

WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

2005-05-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

Due to technical difficulties, the Holic may be forced to take a couple weeks off. Check back soon to see if Dell came to the rescue.

May 18 - Agents Angling for More NBA Gravy

2005-05-18T13:43:00.000-07:00

In recent weeks, we have begun to hear some rumblings that the NBA and its players union could have trouble reaching a deal on a new collective bargaining agreement, in part because player agents want more opportunity to make a buck. You see, when the league negotiated its current CBA back in the last nineties, the agents were the ones who took the biggest hit. This is because that CBA established a salary regime for Rookies that is basically formulaic instead of negotiated. As a result, there is no reason for a player to pay out a big fee to an agent since there is little negotiating to be done. Moreover, many of the sport’s superstars now fall into a category where teams have to offer them “maximum” contracts and again, this allows for no negotiation. As a result, basketball agents have seen their windfalls dry up over the years as players no longer feel the need to pay up for their services. Word now has it that some of the sports big agents have had it with the current system and will advise their players to vote against the new CBA if it continues to be biased against negotiation. I find this to be incredibly bothersome. Why are the freaking agents involved in this matter at all? Who appointed them counsel to the union? And when did their endangered interests become a species deserving of protection? If I were union chief Billy Hunter, I would be incredibly offended by this power grab. After all, what the agents are implicitly telling their clients is Hunter is not looking out for their best interests. This is a self-serving lie and it is time for Hunter and the players to send a message to these vultures and cut them out of the game entirely. Rather then importing more negotiation into the system, I would suggest the league take steps to restrict it further. I have had it with agents controlling professional sports and Hunter and the league now have a chance to do something about it. Let’s hope they don’t squander this opportunity.

Define Irony – How about Kentucky school-boy legend Rex Chapman having consensual sex with a black women in a gym named after Adoph Rupp. The latest word from Chapman is that during his time at Kentucky in the late eighties, he was “discouraged” by athletic department officials and boosters from dating black women. Should this come as a surprise? After all, we are talking about Kentucky here and Lexington is not exactly a bastion of social liberalism, particularly when it comes to basketball. True, UK currently has a black coach in Tubby Smith, but this program was run for decades by one of the biggest racists in American sports history. Lest you forget, Rupp didn’t recruit black players and wasn’t exactly thrilled to have his team take the court in the 1966 NCAA final against an all-black team from El Paso. As such, I am a little curious why this story got so much attention. Is it really all that newsworthy that such practices occurred almost twenty years ago in a state that probably still longs for the good old days?

Notes from the NL: As the horses near the quarter mile pole, Brewer Brady Clark is leading the pack in the race for NL centerfielder of the year. Beltran and Edmonds are doing their thing, but Clark is hitting .350 after spitting out four knocks last night. By the way, he plays a great center field, is slugging .500 and has already scored 32 runs. The Brewers got a great outing last night from Wes Obermueller who has a no hitter going into the seventh and finished with an eight inning two hitter. Bobby Abreu remained white hot with another bomb for Philadelphia last night – that makes it eight dongs in nine games for the Philly right fielder. The Phillies, meanwhile, made five errors yet were still able to eek out a 7-5 win over Jeff Suppan and the Cards. Suppan has been very consistent for St. Louis this year but for some reason the Phillies have given him trouble, scoring thirteen runs in just seven innings this year. Derrick Lee catapulted back into the hunt for the NL Memorial Day MVP race by dropping a couple of bombs last night, including a ninth inning game winner off the usually dependable Jose Mesa. Cubs manager Dusty Baker finally shook up his lineup last night by dropping Corey Patterson to the six hole – a move that demonstrates Dusty does in fact have some grey matter remaining. The Pirates have a decent shot of getting to .500 this week, but things will get ugly next month as they play 16 of 19 against Florida, Atlanta, Baltimore, the Yanks and Boston. I think manager Lloyd McClendon would be happy to steal six of those games. The big debate in New York this morning is whether Kaz Ishii is Hispanic or Asian. Regardless of the answer, Ishii threw a great game for the Mets last night who suddenly find themselves with a staff of six. If Willie Randolph can’t decide who to keep, then perhaps he shouldn’t be managing. The Assholes won a pitching duel last night as Lee Harvey Oswalt out-pointed Javier Vasquez in a close fight. The “shooter” threw eight scoreless while the ex-yank gave up just a run over seven. Since April 20, Vasquez has been top-shelf and, in the process, has lowered his ERA from twelve to four. In Los Angeles, D-Train got smacked around early and was tagged with his first loss of the season. Has Dontrelle put in a top? Perhaps since history suggests he is a “star through May but fades away” kind of guy. Cesar Izturis had five hits for the Dodgers while Jeff Kent drove in four as Derrick Lowe picked up his third win. I realize the Braves lead their division, but this Danny Kolb experiment has to be a concern down in Buckhead. He blew another game for John Smoltz last night and at some point, Smoltzie is going to demand a new personal closer. With the gift from Kolb, Los Madres have now won six in a row and 13 of 15. They now hope to keep it going with Eaton and Peavy. The one thing you won’t hear on WFAN today is Chris Russo singing the praise of Giant pitcher Noah Lowry who got lit up again last night. Russo always trumps this guy, but after a 1-5 start and an ERA over six, its time for Noah to return to his shipbuilding roots. Is it just me or have the Rockies already played the Giants ten times this year?

Airmail from the AL: This Yankee run is starting to get a little worrisome. Last night, even Giambolic and Pavano got into the act as roid-dog drove in three and Pavs threw a complete game shutout. That gives the Yanks ten straight and 21 at the quarter mile. That equates to just under $2.5 million per win. The White Sox are paying about a quarter of that at this juncture. Richie Sexson atoned for his game-losing gaffe on Monday night with a couple of meaningless hits last night for the Ms. Oakland absolutely handed The Red Sox a gift last night as the Sox were able to chalk up seven runs on just four hits. Matt Clement was scary ugly last night, but the Sox were able to coerce 11 walks and four unearned runs out of Oakland’s finest. Manny Ramirez looked absolutely lost on a couple of swings last night but I guess it’s hard to concentrate when your mom is suffering from such a terrible disease like arthritis. I know he is crap, but I want Eric Byrnes on my team. Did you see him tackle that fan the other night? I love that guy and that has nothing to do with the fact that he is a Bruin. Mark Kotsay’s wife is featured in the current edition of ESPN Magazine and let me tell you, she is an 8.8 with some upside. I have no trouble putting her in with Mrs. Joe Montana as the best looking wife of a Bay Area athlete. Has the Johan Santana train been derailed? Last night, everyone’s pick as the top lefty in baseball got smacked around like a Venezuelan piñata and if you take away a couple of wins over KC and Tampa, Johan has had a pretty ordinary season. Former Twin Corey Koskie got a standing ovation last night at the Metrodome which proves that people in Minnesota will applaud anything with a pulse so long as its name isn’t Brett or Spree. Who would have thought the Jays would be 21-18 at this point with nothing from either Vernon Wells or Ted Lilly? Wells is beginning to show some sings of life but Lilly remains stuck in reverse. Baltimore overpowered KC last night but the Birds can’t be happy that Sid Ponson gave up eight runs and had to be lifted after only one and a third. Things are so ridiculous in Kansas City right now that Matt Stairs actually hit cleanup last night. That bears repeating – MATT STAIRS HIT CLEANUP. Johnny Garland notched his eighth win last night as the Sox rampage through the Midwest continued. All Garland does is throw strikes and guess what – it works. There has been a lot of venom aimed at Manny Ramirez in recent days, but strangely, I haven’t heard much criticism aimed at Paul Konerko. If Manny is stuck in a slump, Konerko is mired in a damn depression. The Angles better hope Kelvim Escobar isn’t out too long since the emaciated Ervin Santana doesn’t appear ready to be a capable replacement. On the bright side for the Halos, Steve Finley has been hot of late and now has his average planted firmly on the Mendoza line.

Last weekend, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays squared off against the Kansas City Royals in a series that probably matched the AL’s two most hopeless teams and the two teams that are most often thought of as contraction candidates. Well, rather then contract both teams, I have the following suggestion: Combine the two teams and move them to a city equidistant from Tampa and Kansas City – someplace like Memphis. If this marriage came to pass, I predict the couple would be pretty competitive even though the Royals don’t bring a whole lot to the alter. I say this because the addition of just Mike Sweeney to Tampa’s lineup would be huge. Lou Pinella has been seeking a big bat for a couple years and Sweeney would satisfy his thirst. Look, if you had Carl Crawford lead off, Rocco Baldelli follow in the second slot, Aubrey Huff hit third and Sweeney bat cleanup, you would have some ability to score runs. I am not saying this would become another incarnation of the Big Red Machine, but they wouldn’t exactly be weapon-less either. As far as pitching goes, Zach Greinke would be a huge addition to Tampa’s staff, and Andy Sisco and Jeremy Affeldt would be nice additions to the pen. In sum, Memphis would still have some questions in its thin rotation, but its pen would be deep and its lineup would score some runs. That isn’t such a bad recipe. In fact, it is kind of a slimmed own version of Baltimore. Check that – it is an emaciated version of the Birds. I don’t think this would be a playoff team, but it would probably be a winning team which is a lot more then either franchise can claim right now. Bud, make this happen and while you are at it, its time to merge Colorado with either Milwaukee or Pittsburgh.