March 11 - "The Greatest Upset I Have Ever Seen!"

We may have just witnessed the worst called game of the ESPN era and the culprit was none other then the Sportsaholic’s old pal Mike Patrick. As is tradition, Patrick is working the ACC tourney this weekend with his good old partner Dick "the Godfather of Crap" Vitale. This legendary duo has been polluting the ACC tournament since the days of Grant Hill and Rick Fox and Dennis Scott, but today’s call, was truly extraordinary. That is saying something given Patrick’s storied resume. Today's masterpiece came in a game pitting UNC against Clemson. Patrick’s first stunner occurred with about 4 minutes to go in the first half and UNC leading by one. At that point, he screamed this would be “the upset of upsets” if Clemson could sneak this one out. There were 24 minutes remaining in a one point game, yet Patrice was already throwing out the U word. This was just the beginning. When Clemson pulled out to a big lead midway through the second half, the hyperbole started running amok. This is when we got nailed on many occasions by Patrick's signature saying - "Are you kidding me?" If you put this saying on a loop and forced me to sit though it for 15 minutes, there is a good chance my head would actually begin melting. But alas, it got worse. With Clemson up 10 with eight minutes to go, we got the following: “if this holds, it may be the greatest upset I have ever seen.” There were no qualifiers to go along with this sentence. He didn’t limit it to something like the greatest upset in the history of the MCI Center or the ACC tourney or a game between these given schools. No, Patrick implied that this was going to be the biggest upset he had ever seen – period! That is a pretty strong claim even coming from the Master of Overstatement. In sum, Patrick was trying to imply that viewers were watching something historic today when in fact they were merely watching an entertaining game that potentially could have been a big surprise. There was nothing historic about this game. This was not Princeton-Georgetown in 1989. This was not Vegas and Ball State in 1990. Clemson is a capable team and this Carolina team is hardly the 1982 or 1987 Tar Heels. Granted, if Clemson had won , it would have registered as a big upset, but it would have fallen far short of the legendary shocker that Patrick was trying to manufacture. This was classic Patrick!

Is Steve Alford coaching for his job tonight in Iowa’s Big-10 game against Michigan State? Some, including this scribe, think that may be the case since a win just may get the Hawks into the tourney while a loss surely sends them to the NIT. With 20 wins already in hand, you may be wondering why Iowa is still sweating their future, especially since some of those wins came against the likes of Louisville, Texas, Northern Iowa and Iowa State. Had the Tourney invites gone out in January, the Hawkeyes surely would have been asked to RSVP. But Iowa didn’t exactly storm to the finish line. Things really turned at the end of January when Alford suspended his leading scorer Pierre Pierce for having a little run in with the Iowa City Police Department. Since that time, Iowa is only 5-5, and their wins have mostly come over the dregs of the Big-10. As a result, Iowa finished under .500 in a mediocre conference and that is why tonight’s game against Michigan State is so important. So what does Alford’s future look like? Well, I think this game is pretty damn crucial. This is Steve’s sixth year at Iowa he is looking for only his second tourney invite. That just does not cut it at Iowa. While Iowa is no Illinois or Indiana, it does have some tradition and the alumni are not going to settle for this serving of mediocrity. Making matters worse, Alford has constructed a team that is just no fun to watch. Alford claims he isn’t worried about his future, but with a loss tonight, he could be headed out of town.

Speaking of troubled Big-10 coaches, Indiana coach Mike Davis faces a big test today when his Hooisers take on Minnesota. Many view this as an elimination game with the winner moving on the Tourney and the loser going to the NIT. In fact, some think that the 15-12 Hoosiers need two wins in their conference tourney to secure at at-large bid to the tourney. Mike Davis has vigorously challenged such views this week, arguing the tourney selection committee will be doing a great injustice if they pass on Indiana after the Hoosiers dispatch Minnesota. “To say we have to win two games is ridiculous. If we don’t get in, you’re taking three teams from our league because we finished fourth.” Well, tied for fourth, but who is counting? While Davis has been on the hot seat at Indiana for a couple years now, I guess I am one of the few people who think he will get a final shot in 2006. He is just too un-likeable to go this soon. We need villains in college basketball and Davis fits the bill. With Gene Keady leaving Purdue, the Big-10 needs a scowl and no one has a better scowl then Davis. Plus, Davis does have some good young players coming back and I think the powers that be in Bloomington will give Mike a chance to prove what he can do with a better hand.

To hear the biased Eastern media tell it, UCLA played itself out of the NCAA tourney last night. In what was basically a home game, the Bruins got smoked in the first half against Oregon State and not even a furious second half run could save UCLA. It was a stupid loss that exposed the Bruins for what they are – a young and inconsistent team that often breaks down. But lets not go crazy here folks. It was a loss but it was just a single game and it came after the tourney selectors had already fed ex’d an invite to Westwood. That is not the way some see it back here. I actually heard someone group UCLA in with Vanderbilt and Notre Dame this morning. Vandy? Are you frigging kidding me? Vandy is 84 in the RPI while UCLA is 35. The Bruins were 11-7 in the Pac-10 while the Commodores were only 8-8 in the equally poor Southeastern Conference. As for Notre Dame, UCLA went into South Bend two weeks ago and crushed the Irish. That is all that needs to be said on that front. Lets be serious folks. Notre Dame was eliminated the other night and Vandy had to make its way to at least its conference tourney to get a bid. Meanwhile, UCLA’s bid is sitting on Coach Ben Howland’s desk as we speak.

Raise your glasses everyone because it is Miller Time! My early favorite for Sportsman of the year is Bode Miller who virtually locked up the World Cup of Alpine Skiing earlier today. Bode finished second in a downhill yesterday and followed that up by winning today’s Super G in Switzerland. Miller had to ski well in these races and he responded with two super-clutch performances. Bode now leads the World Cup by 184 points with only two races to go. While it is still conceivable that Miller could be passed this weekend, it seems unlikely. Benjamin Raich, who is stuck in second, would need to win both of these races and Miller would have to finish out of the top-15 for the Austrian to prevail. Such an outcome seems highly unlikely. If his lead holds, Miller will become the first American to win the cup since Phil Mahre and Tamara McKinney did it in 1983. This accomplishment is truly historic and I believe it is every bit as impressive as Lance Armstrong winning the Tour de France. With that said, its time for AP and other media outlets to honor somebody at year's end other then Sheryl Crow’s future husband. It was a joke that Armstrong got the nod over Michael Phelps in last year's AP Sportsman of the Year balloting, but I don’t think he will be so fortunate this time around, even with a 7th Tour victory this summer.

Does anyone in the NFL want Plaxico Buress? It seems like the answer is no at this point, at least at the kind of money that Plax and his agent Michael Harrison are demanding. The word is the Giants were a heartbeat away from signing the former Steeler on Wednesday, but the G Men put out a terse statement on Thursday explaining that they were no longer interested. ESPN’s Len Pasquerreli had reported that the Giants offered Burress something in the area of $21 million dollars over six years, with $8 million up front. This is far short of what Mushin Muhammed got this year from the Bears as well as the numbers Plax was seeking. It would appear that the two sides could simply not come together on price, but with Burress and his scintillating personality, you never know what happened. Plax also reportedly refused to take a physical and I am sure that didn’t go over too well with Giant GM Ernie Acorsi. So what does Plax do now? Well, there are reports that Minnesota will give him a one year deal that Burress could use to re-establish his market value, but Plax and Harrison are reportedly cool to such an idea. They want their money and they want it now. That doesn’t leave many other options. Teams have not exactly been banging down the door and the Giants seemed like the perfect fit. The big problem here is Burress has a very inflated opinion of his own value. He thinks he should be paid off his 2002 numbers, but others see him as an injury prone head-case who should be paid off his 2003 and 2004 numbers. I think it was a bit foolhardy for Plax to think he will get a contract like Muhammad given the fact that Mushin is coming off an all-pro year where he caught 93 balls and scored 16 times. To put this in perspective, Burress has only caught 16 touchdowns since the beginning of the 2002 season. Burress has always had talent, but his productivity has never kept pace. As such, it may not be such a bad idea to pull a Nomar and take a one year deal with the Vikings. If he kills it, he could be sitting pretty next March and if he has a typical Plax year, he will not be much worse off than he is today.

So Brett made it official yesterday – he will be returning for his 33rd season with the Green Bay Packers. I wrote a lengthy piece on this subject last week so I won’t bore you with all details this time around. Suffice to say, I am not too surprised by Favre’s decision. It strikes me this is guy is going to have a real hard time letting go. Lets be honest – the Packers future is far from bright. In just the past two weeks alone, they lost two guards and two safeties do to cap concerns and free agency. The loss of the safeties may not be such a big deal since those guys didn’t stop anyone last year, but the other defections are believed to be significant. And this all comes on the heels of a season where the Packers were very average. Sure, they ended up winning a mediocre division, but it is pretty clear to an impartial observer that this team no longer scares anyone. What I found most interesting about yesterday’s announcement is how it was greeted by the analysts. As I expected, the suits at ESPN were simply joyous. John Clayton and Sean Salisbury were both giddy as they gave their two cents and both spoke as if Favre’s recent playoff debacles never occurred. Salisbury in particular, was gloating, claiming the future Hall-of Famer has lost barely an ounce of ability in recent years. This should come as no surprise since Salisbury is a card carrying member of the Quarterback Club and per club rules; members are not allowed to speak poorly of each other. Mike Golic on the other hand, is a member of the Idiot Club and he is not bound by such asinine rules. In a bit of a surprise, Golic – the player’s most staunch apologist - actually conceded this morning that Favre has regressed in recent years. All Golic did was make a layup, but I’ll take anything I can get from this bricklayer.