May 6 - Whose Calling the Plays at the Pentagon?

This is only tangentially related to sports, but I am really shocked the Department of Defense isn’t taking more flak for this extraordinary story involving Pat Tillman, It took a year, but the Washington Post reported this week that the Army had found out within days of Tillman’s death that the former Cardinal was killed by fellow Rangers in a “gross act of negligence,” yet it didn’t reveal such details to Tillman’s family or the public until weeks after his nationally televised memorial service. Does the Defense Department have no shame? Listen, I understand the jingoistic Pentagon has long tried to control the news flow during wartime, but this is going way too far. To manufacture a story like this, in the name of promoting heroism, is the kind of stuff the Germans pulled during World War I to boost morale at home. Pat Tillman’s heroism needed no boost – he was a hero long before he was ever killed on that Afghan mountain. Regardless of how he died, his story was moving and it sure didn't need an assist from a Pentagon publicist. But I guess the brass in Virginia figured at the time that the country needed a good story and hell would freeze over before that story came with friendly fire ending. So what did the Pentagon do? They buried the truth because it conflicted with the kind of story they wanted to write. Pure and simple – this was wartime propaganda at its worst. I am sure the department’s top officials – both civilian and military – have had many concerns with the way this war has been covered in the press, but I can’t recall a major NEWS piece appearing that was completely fabricated. It’s almost as if Steven Glass from the New Republic and Jason Blair from the New York Times are now on the military’s payroll. With incidents like this, is it any wonder that the public distrusts what the War Department chooses to disclose?

May 6 - Gregg gets Suckered on Survivor

It has been a rather dull season on Survivor, but things heated up in a big way last night as we had a huge game changing moment that ended up costing Gregg a shot at a million bucks. And as I expected, the wildcard was Katie who ended up reneging on a promise to Gregg and delivering the final vote that sent him packing. You have to hand it to Tom and Ian who played like grizzled vets last night. This was the scenario – Both Tom and Ian saw the tide turning against them as Greg, Jen and Katie had apparently established a strong three person alliance that was resigned to take out Karyn. Once she was gone, the men feared that the alliance would have numbers and be able to pick tem off one by one. So what do the men do? They recruited Karyn and convinced her she should join them and hit Gregg. And once Karyn was signed on, they secretly strong-armed Katie into flipping sides and the end result was a beautiful 4-2 victory over Gregg at tribal council. This was classic Survivor subterfuge and Greg never saw it coming. And once he was notified of his own funeral, all he could say was “you guys got me.” That is a huge understatement. They didn’t get him – they NAILED him. So now we are left with just five – Tom, Ian, Jen, Katie, Karyn – and anything could happen at this point. If the woman were smart, they would launch a gender war which would probably be the right thing to do since it is in their interest to get rid of the men while they still can. Jen and Karyn would certainly go for this and that is why I think one of the men will never see the Final Four. The pick here is Tom will go home next week if he fails to win immunity and if he does win immunity, Ian is French toast.

Is it more surprising that Paul Pierce inexplicably lost his head with twelve seconds to go last night or the referees lost their collective heads and actually ejected him for a fairly minor offense? This was the setting – the Celts lead by one with twelve seconds to go when Jamal Tinsley mugs Pierce to stop the clock. Pierce obviously didn’t appreciate the hard foul and responded with a flying elbow that didn’t draw iron. There is no doubt that Pierce should have kept his wing in check, but did he really deserve to be hit with a technical, especially with the game still in doubt. And the funny thing about the incident was the referees didn’t get suckered into a spontaneous call. This was not Don Denkinger in the 1985 World Series. In fact, these officials actually huddled for a minute before deciding to flag Pierce and toss him from the game. After a brief discussion, shouldn’t cooler heads have prevailed? After all, Pierce didn’t exactly clock Tinsley. It was a borderline call to begin with and don’t officials bear some responsibility to look the other way with so much on the line? What ever happened to the idea of letting players settle things on the court? Clearly that policy was on vacation last night as the officials interjected themselves right into the middle of the game. So what happened? After Pierce left the game, Kendrick Perkins missed a couple of free throws and Indiana was able to force an overtime which they eventually lost. As such, the ejection didn’t end up costing Boston anything other then five minutes of anxiety. The series now moves back to Boston where the Celtics are something like 143-2 in elimination games. Given how this series has been played, I am not so sure they will push their record to 143-2.

Notes from the National: The Brewers are officially on fire after winning their seventh straight – the last six of which have come at Miller. They should run that to eight tonight against Victor Zambrano although Pedro should end things on Saturday. Brady Clark did more damage yesterday, getting four hits and scoring two runs. The odds are against him, but he could be an all-star this summer. Does this make any sense – Corey Patterson has five home runs but only one double. Talk about feast of famine for a guy who can actually run. Kris Benson returned to the Mets yesterday and gave Willie Randolph a decent outing. He was relieved by Aaron Heilman who gave Randolph a great outing. Mike Cameron also returned and chipped in two doubles. The Phillies Vincente Padilla is now 0-4 with an ERA over ten. Those are Kevin Brown numbers. The Assholes are fading fast although Lance Berkman is supposed to be back this weekend. Berkman wouldn’t have helped yesterday as the Holes got pounded by the Bravos. The two teams go at it again tonight with Smoltz facing Oswalt. San Diego is officially warm after beating Mark Morris at Busch last night. Brian Giles, who has been asleep all year, had four hits and five RBIs. The Pirates kept it going last night as Jose Castillo came off the DL and immediately went 3-4. I can’t honestly say I have ever heard of Castillo but that was about the only thing worth mentioning about Pittsburgh’s 6-2 win over Arizona.

Airmail from the AL: Bronson Arroyo pitched his ass off yesterday and he is quickly becoming the Sox most reliable starter. The Sox have some questions at the top of their staff with Schilling and Wells out, but the back end of the staff is rock solid. I’ll take Clement, Arroyo and Wakefield over any other 3-4-5 combo in the AL. Although Arroyo was terrific, he still needed a two-out ninth inning double from Big Papi to get the win. How much longer is Tito Francona going to stick with Kevin Millar? His power drought is now being investigated by FERC. While FERC is at it, they should take a look at Cleveland who got three hit by Brad Radke last night. The Mendoza line separates people who are hitting above and below .200. Are we in need of a Boone line to separate those hitting above and below .100. You know things are going well when the opposing team walks in both the tying and winning runs. That is what happened yesterday in Chicago where the White Sox got only two hits but were still able to win. The Rays won their third straight over the Yanks last night, but the schedule now toughens as the Twins come in for three. Since April 5, Hideki Matsui is hitting .198 with one home run and 15 RBI. In other words, since game two of the season, Mr. Matsui has hit about as well as Mr. Miyagi. How long will it be before Gary Sheffield breaks his hand against a wall? The Yanks now come home for their 53rd game at the stadium this season. You think they will be well received?

The new story on Barry Bonds is his surgeon is a bit of a wildcard. It is now being reported by the Arizona Republic that Barry's doctor - Dr. Arthur Ting - has been reprimanded twice by the California Medical Board for some unscrupulous activity, the second of which involved accusations that he prescribed dangerous drugs to friends and family. Is it any surprise that Bonds chose this guy to look after his damaged knee? There are a million high end doctors in the Bay area and Bonds has to go out and find a fringe witch doctor. At this point, Bonds is only a couple steps behind Michael Jackson in the race to become the world’s biggest celebrity freak. If he starts inviting twelve year olds over to take batting practice, we will have ourselves a race. The other question I have on the Bonds front is how ESPN’s Pedro Gomez got scooped on the story that Bonds had additional surgery on his ailing knee. Pedro is a Bonds beat writer, meaning his only responsibility is to follow Bonds around and detail his activity. With that said, how can he get scooped on this story by the San Francisco Chronicle? PG should really think about a new profession.

May 5 - Does ESPN Hip-Hop its NBA telecasts?

If you want a subtle reminder of why the NBA has fallen off the charts, especially with suburban white voters, it may be instructive to take a look at where the league’s primary broadcast partner chooses to host its shows. Is there any reason why ESPN hosts its NBA telecast from Times Square instead of Bristol? If asked, I am sure ESPN would argue that its NBA telecasts are marquee events and therefore they should be broadcast from a marquee site. But this argument holds no water with me since both the football and baseball guys do their stuff right back at the Mother Ship. I may be over-analyzing this, but if had to guess, I would say the decision to mimic MTV and broadcast from the heart of New York City was made in part to cater to the league’s “urban” customers. Why else would John Saunders and the rest of his idiots be sited in New York with all that crap lingering in the background? This has got to pain league officials who were already concerned about the league’s future with middle class white dudes. Much to the leagues dismay, basketball has simply lost its cache out in the hinterlands. There are a number of reasons for this, but that isn’t important for this discussion. What is important is the fact that the league draws its meager support from the cities. And with that in mind, I guess ESPN figured they should cater to their audience and how better to achieve this then by broadcasting from the heart of the country’s biggest city. The only problem with my theory is why ESPN stopped at Times Square. If they were truly interested in hip hopping their telecasts, why not host their shows from a bar in North Philly or a club on the Southside of Chicago? I think the answer to that question is analysts like Tim Legler and Bill Laimbeer wouldn’t be caught dead in those areas.

Notes from the National: Tim Hudson slammed the door on Florida yesterday afternoon in a big NL East showdown. Burnett’s line was passable but was polluted by home runs to both Chipper and Andruw. Yankee fans are already calling up radio stations and asking when Juan Pierre becomes a free agent. Sorry folks, he is the Marlins property through 2006. Los Madres completed a sweep of Colorado and are now back at .500. Jake Peavy had a very ordinary game and justice was probably served when his bullpen gave up his win. Is Brian Giles ever going to warm up – he is 0 for his last 21. The Rockies are nothing special at Coors but they are downright putrid (1-13) on the road. The Dbacks took their second straight off San Francisco and now have Pittsburgh coming into Bank One for four. Luis Gonzalexz had three hits last night and he is now 12 for his last 25. A lot of people get down on LuGo but he is a relative bargain at $10 million a year. Brandon Webb gave Arizona another quality start yesterday as he moved to 4-0. The Reds slide continued as Mark Mulder played the role of dominatrix while Cincy played the bitch. Agent Mulder has now peeled off four wins in a row and don’t look now, but Scott Rolen has battled his way back to respectability. Let me get this straight – the Mets Jae Seo gives up one hit over seven and gets demoted as a reward. I know someone had to go down, but why did they choose Seo over Zambrano? The Mets get Benson back today which should help a staff that is basically Pedro and pray. Jose Reyes came into pinch hit last night and drew a walk - that is like former Pirate Rafael Belliard pinch hitting and nailing a 450 foot blast. The Brewers won their sixth straight and word has it GM Doug Melvin has asked Brian Cashman when Gary Sheffield will be made available. Brady Clark is having a real nice year for Milwaukee and it is only a matter of time before Yankee fans start asking when he is eligible for free agency. Along with Clark, Lyle Overbay is red hot for the Brewers right now. Brad Lidge got hammered last night and the strange thing is the offensively challenged Pirates did the job. The Rocket left that game with a 4-2 lead but the Assholes let him down once again. Do you think the Yanks regret parting ways with Nick Johnson? He is hitting .305 and sports an OBP of .414. The Dodgers may have lost Jose Valentin for the season which is probably a blessing. They will need to find a replacement but Valentin hasn’t done a thing since early April and his presence will not be missed. If I were GM Jerry DePodesta, I would be on the phone with Philly GM Ed Wade asking about Placido Polanco.

Airmail from the AL: The Orioles put up five on Roy Halladay yesterday which is no small feat. After being shut down for a couple of nights, Baltimore’s M&M boys had five hits yesterday. Texas murdered Danny Haren who is now 1-4 while the guy he was traded for is 4-1. The other guy involved in the Mulder trade – Kiki Calero – gave up five runs yesterday before he was lifted after getting just one out. The Angels completed their sweep over Seattle as Paul Byrd came through with a rare quality start. The Angels did a real job on Seattle’s offense this week as the Ms were only able to score four runs over the course of the three game series. Boston scored a big victory at Detroit last night as Keith Foulke actually came in and closed out a tight one. The Sox offense has been a bit spotty of late but it isn’t Johnny Damon’s fault. He leads the AL in hits and hitting with runners in scoring position. I guess he wants to get paid at season’s end. The Yanks slide continued with a sloppy 11-8 loss at Tampa and the pinstripes now run the risk of falling into last place with a loss tonight. For Yankee fans, there was good news and bad news last night. The good news is he got hit in the head by a pitch. The bad news is Jason Giambi appears alright. Can you believe Tom Gordon was an all-star last year? The White Sox just keep getting quality starts although the term “quality” probably needs to be adjusted when Kansas City is involved. Last night, Freddy Garcia did the job and today, Jose Contreras has thrown blanks though six. They haven’t played a tough schedule but it is time people start taking this team seriously.

May 4 - Winslow Totals his Bike and his Bank Account

Things have not gone too well for Cleveland Browns Tight End Kellen Winslow Jr. since he shocked the world a few years back by anointing himself as “The Chosen One.” Tell me this – if Winslow was indeed the “Man,” do you think he would have broken his leg on a freak play against the Cowboys in week 2 of the 2004 season? If he were in some way related to the big guy – and I am not talking about Kellen Sr. – do you think he would have flown off his motorcycle the other night and put the rest of his career in jeopardy? Word out of Cleveland is still a bit murky, but this much is clear. Winslow – one of the league’s ten biggest jerks – trashed his right knee after falling off his bike and he perhaps also incurred some fairly serious internal injuries. As such, Winslow’s future on the football field appears to be uncertain to say the least. And if that weren’t bad enough news for Winslow, the story is likely to get worse. I say this because there is a real chance that Winslow violated the specific terms of his contract by riding a motorcycle and could now be on the hook to repay a big chunk of the $10 million in bonuses he has received from the Browns. So let me get this straight – Winslow’s leg injury against the Cowboys cost him roughly $5 million in performance incentives and now he may be on the hook for his signing bonus and a roster bonus he received this March. I hope Kellen didn’t blow his dough on whores, homes and hot wheels because he may have just incurred a pretty serious debt. I hate to say it, but if any kid had this coming to him, Kellen is the one. After all, this was the kid who once confused a football game with actual warfare. This was a guy who prior to having ever played a down in the NFL, claimed he was going to have a better career then his hall-of-fame father. And finally, as mentioned above, this was a guy who once referred to himself as the “Chosen One.” I cannot extend too much sympathy to a guy who sports such a resume. Get well soon Kellen.

Notes from the National: The Cards may have laid an egg last October, but they look like they are just going to overwhelm the NL Central this year, much like they did last season. Jason Marquis threw another strong game last night for the Cards who have now won fourteen of their last 18. St Louis is 15-4 against the NL Central so far but only 2-4 against foes outside the division. That does not bode well for the division in this era of unbalanced scheduling. Tom Glavine has won 263 games in the major leagues but it sure doesn’t look like he will retire with 275, or even 270 for that matter. He got killed again last night and to these eyes, he looks just about shot. While Glavine has been terrible, his teammate, Cliff Floyd, has been terrific. He is riding a 19 game hitting streak while hitting seven bombs for the Mets. It took 118 plate appearances, but Jose Reyes finally drew a walk last night. With that monkey off his back, I don’t see why it will take any longer then 30 more appearances for Reyes to pick up his second free pass. Bret Myers crushed the Mets last night, striking out ten in seven innings. Jim Thome went on the DL yesterday and it got me wondering whether any sluggers from 1999-2001 are still healthy. We saw vintage Al Leiter last night. The Fish gave him five in the top of the third, yet he still couldn’t take the game into the sixth. He walked six in five innings and was pulled after 97 tosses. The Marlins outburst came at the expense of Mike Hampton and that snapped his streak of five strong outings to open the season. Pure and simple – when Derrick Lee doesn’t drive in runs, the Cubs lose. Things got worse for Chicago yesterday when Kerry Wood was put on the DL for the 43rd time in his career. The Brew Crew has actually won five in a row and rumor has it Milwaukee GM Doug Melvin placed a call to the fading Yanks to check on the availability of Mariano Rivera. The Pirates are terrible but Jose Mesa has been rock solid. He picked up his ninth save of the season last night but I suspect he will not be in Pittsburgh six weeks from now. The Assholes lost last night but Craig Biggio kept it going with three more hits - that gives him eight in three games. The Giants lost a tough one to Arizona last night and it is now being reported that Barry Bonds had more surgery on his ailing knee. The new over/under on Bonds returning to the lineup is the All-Star break and I am inclined to take the over. Arizona’s pitching hasn’t been great this year – 8th in NL ERA – but it has been a whole lot better then last year when Randy was around to anchor the staff. Los Madres have now won four out of five and Jake Peavy will try to keep it going tonight against Colorado. That is the good news – the bad news is Brian Giles is now hitting .185. Did anyone notice that MLB forced Washington to play the Sunday night game in Washington and then fly cross country to play in LA on Monday night? I thought stuff like that was supposed to end when they got out of Canada. Don’t laugh, but Jason Phillips is actually contributing to the Dodgers. Mets fans would have taken a box of balls in exchange for Phillips so that begs the question of what they would take for Piazza?

Airmail from the AL: God bless the Toronto Blue Jays who have stepped up this week and stopped the Oriole Express. Josh Towers and Miguel Batista combined on a four hit shutout last night as the Jays were able to eek out a 1-0 victory. The Sox got a nice start out of John Halama and a grand slam from Doug Mirabelli, but Keith Foulke gave up ANOTHER home run in Boston’s 5-3 win at Detroit. It looks to me like Foulke’s confidence is shot. Wade Miller threw five and two-thirds for Pawtucket last night and he looks ready to go Sunday in Boston. Edgar Renteria got a couple of knocks for Boston last night but he also committed a couple of errors, giving him six on the year. When did he win his gold glove? Kevin Brown should just get up and quit. He gave up six runs in the first against Tampa last night and eight over five innings. As expected, his suck ass manager commented after the game that Brown looked pretty solid in innings two through five. He then broke into a rendition of “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.” Is it too soon to call Jason Giambi the worst position player in the AL? He has now struck out 25 times in 69 at bats and is 2 for 11 with six whiffs over the past week. Meanwhile, Hideki Matsui is a slump that would rival the 1990’s Nikkei. Mark Buerhle was mediocre for the White Sox last night but mediocre is more then enough to get by the Royals. Sox second baseman Tadahito Iguchi had four hits last night and is now hitting .365. With Matsui slumping, Iguchi is now the second best Japanese player in the AL. Jake Westbrook picked up his first win the year for Cleveland after starting out the season 0-5. Bob Wickman made it interesting against the Twins in the Ninth, but the Tribe’s gasoline can escaped with his sixth save. Aaron Boone may rival Giambolic for that worst player award – he is 9-78 with 22 strikeouts. Curt Young gave the Rangers six good innings last night, although it did come against the anemic A’s. Heck, Curt Young could probably win a Cy Young if he got to pitch against the A’s every fifth. This is hard to believe but John Lackey struck out Ichiro three times last night. I am putting that just below Fletcher defeating Yamamoto at Midway on the list of the great upset victories an American has had against a heavy Japanese favorite.

The game ended at 2:30 this morning so most of you probably missed it, but the Seattle Supersonics did what they had to do last night and put away the Sacramento Queens in five quick games. The striking thing about last night’s game was Sacramento got huge games out of its two big guns yet still couldn’t come up with a victory. Peja and Bibby absolutely had huge games, going for 73 between the two of them, but Sacramento’s defense, particularly in the second half, was abysmal. The Queens were able to control Ray Allen a bit better last night, holding him to a mere 30, but the rest of the team scored at will. If you don’t’ believe me, check out SeaTac’s 56 percent field goal percentage. That sounds more like a Pop-a-Shot number then a number achieved in an NBA playoff game. And if that wasn’t bad enough, SeaTac out rebounded Sacto by a margin of 43-25. With numbers like that, Sacto was lucky it didn’t lose by fifteen or twenty. Seattle now moves on to probably play San Antonio while Sacramento moves toward the abyss. I am in the minority here, but I actually think Seattle could give San Antonia a tough time. The Sonics are a physical and athletic squad that could get under San Antonio’s skin. San Antonio may have size, but they are not nearly as ornery as the Sonics. As such, this could be a series where we see the street kid beat up the pretty boy.

May 3 - Panic in Pinstripe Nation

It took all of twenty-six games, but the Yankees officially reached for the panic button last night. And in one fell swoop, an aging member of the “core” was disgraced, a weak-armed and far from fleet leftfielder was moved to Center, a soft-hitting guy who has never played left was moved to left and a kid from Columbus was called up to play second base. This wasn’t a shakeup – it was a shakedown, ordered of course, by an owner who still can’t figure out where his $200 million dollars went. So what happened? Well, to begin, Bernie has been benched and that effectively ends his career as a centerfielder in New York. He may get to DH here and there, but his career is now effectively over. Next, you have Hideki Matsui moving over to center where his speed will surely be a liability and his arm is barely an upgrade over BW. Then you have Tony Womack moving from second to left where he has never played before. Are you kidding me – Tony Womack is now the leftfielder for the 26-Time World Champion New York Yankees. I guess Karim Garcia wasn't available. And finally, you have Robinson Cano coming up from Columbus to play second. Who the hell is Robby Cano and why did the Yanks have to overhaul their whole lineup to get him some major league at bats? If Cano was that good, there is no way he would still be in the Yankees system. And if that isn’t enough, Randy Johnson is now gimpy with a groin injury and may be headed to the DL and Steve Karsay is headed to the open market. It would be a huge understatement to say this team is in chaos. Disrepair is more appropriate and all the blame lies at the feet of Mr. Steinbrenner and the panicky Mr. Cashman. After all, these were the guys who thought the Yanks could squeeze another year out of Williams. These were the guys who passed on Carlos Beltran. These were the guys who threw all that money at Giambolic. These were the guys who took a chance on Wright when everyone else in baseball took a pass. These were the guys who let Jon Lieber exit over a few million dollars. In sum, these same guys have been making mistake after mistake for years and the end result is players playing out of position, a scrub playing leftfield and a AAA second baseman that the Yanks couldn’t pay the DBacks to take over the winter. So the Yanks are now left with huge question marks all over the place. The lineup has a bunch of embedded outs – especially at first and left, the bullpen is a Superfund Cleanup Site and there are holes all over the staff. And while I think it is still premature to put the final nail in the coffin, it is looking more and more like this team’s playoff streak will come to an end this October. I just don’t see how this team is going to win 90 games, let alone the 95 that is will surely take to win the East. In fact, if this Johnson thing is serious and the bullpen doesn’t improve, 90 wins is a pipe dream. Yankee haters – wash up because the feast is now being served. Enjoy!

I could not believe my eyes when I read this morning that David Stern had fined Houston coach Jeff Van Gundy $100,000 dollars for saying the league’s referees are a bunch of clowns who are out to get Yao Ming. It seems, according to various reports, Van Gundy was tipped off by a league referee who said other referees would be "targeting" Houston’s Yao Ming during the playoffs. Yao is a huge star so this doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but let’s not get bogged down in details. What matters here is the Commish absolutely snapped when he heard Van Gundy’s claim. “If he’s going to say things like that, he’s not going to continue in this league,” said Stern, clearly upping the ante. Lighten up Dave; it was only a joke and a bit of gamesmanship. Despite Stern’s edict, Van Gundy is not backing down and he responded by saying “I didn’t see anything wrong with what I said.” Either does this scribe who is siding with the Houston gunslinger on this one. For some reason or another, this isn’t a joke to Stern who feels that the integrity of the league is now at stake. I guess he feels that Van Gundy basically left the impression that the series is fixed but that is only one interpretation of what Van Gundy said. Sure, you could construe it like that, but you could also interpret Van Gundy’s words to mean the league wants to make sure that Yao is properly officiated. After all, the key word here is "targeting" and there is some ambiguity attatched to that word's meaning. And what if Van Gundy did leave the impression that the league had picked sides in this one? Would that be so shocking? As an aside, I think the most interesting facet of this story is that Yao offered to pay half of Van Gundy’s the fine. You don’t see that kind of charity in the league too often, or in other sports for that matter. I bet if they passed the hat in the Houston locker room and Yao started out by putting fifty grand in the till, only three g’s would be left by the time it made its way around the room. That pretty much sums up my feelings on the NBA and its players.

Notes from the National: In a matchup of the NL’s two top off-season signees, Pedro out dueled Jon Lieber on the flooded fields of Shea Stadium, as Carlos Beltran delivered the deciding blast. Victor Diaz is fading just as Mike Cameron is due to return, making life much easier on manager Willie Randolph. Do you think Jim Thome would have sat if Jae Seo had been the starter? Where are all those clowns who claimed Pedro had become a six inning pitcher – he has gone seven in five of his six starts. Cincinnati led 9-3 in the ninth last night yet still lost as David Weathers and Danny Graves gift-wrapped one for the Cards. You know things are going bad for the Reds when starter Eric Milton kept all but one ball in the park yet his team still couldn’t win. Jim Edmonds and John Mabry each had two-out blasts off Graves who faced six batters and gave up four hits. On the bright side for Cinci, Grif hit his second home run of the season and Sean Casey upped his trade value by going four-for-four. Andy Pettite finally got some run support courtesy of Craig Biggio and Morgan Ensberg. The Assholes are finally starting to hit but will Oswalt miss some time with this sprained foot? The Giants got a big win at Arizona although Jason Schmidt was awful. Fortunately for them, Dback hurler Russ Ortiz was worse. There were a ton of pitchers used in that game and that is why it took almost FOUR hours to complete. The Padres got well last night against Colorado as Adam Eaton picked up his third win. Clint Barmes is still hitting .400 for the Rocks, but only .326 on the road and .313 over the past week. Phil Nevin is starting to show signs of heating up for Los Madres. The Dodger’s Jose Valentin experiment at third is wearing thin. Valentino is hitting .185, slugging .350 and has made five errors. The Dodgers corner infielders are amongst the worst in baseball, but can GM Jerry DePodesta fit Todd Helton or Sean Casey into LA’s restricted budget?

Airmail from the AL: Toronto did a huge favor for the Yanks and Sox by slowing down the birds in Baltimore. The Orioles M&M boys were a combined 0-10 last night while stud reliever Todd Williams got crushed in the eleventh. Corey Koskie had three more hits last night which officially places him in the white hot category. Explain this to me: The Birds lead the East by a bunch of games yet only 15,000 showed up at Camden Yards last night. I know Monday night games are tough, but last night proves to me that the O’s are losing gate to the Nationals down in Washington. The Tigers had seven extra base hits last night against the Red Sox, three of which were triples. For those of you have never seen him, Carlos Guillen is the second best shortstop in the AL and has been for the past year. The Sox got a decent start out of emergency replacement Gonzalez, but the bullpen was atrocious once again. Allen Embree is quickly blowing through his yearly allotment of poor showings. We covered the Yanks above, but I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that Gayrod went 0-5 and stranded seven, while Andy Phillips went 0-5 with five whiffs. Last night was a pretty good example of why Phillips has been in the minors for ten years. Texas got a couple early off Rich Harden and Kenny Rogers made it stand. Jerod Washburn gave the Angels another strong start last night and it just seems like the Angels are about to put some space between themselves and the rest of the AL West. ESPN magazine published a fluff piece last week on the M’s Wilson Valdez who is 0-19 since the story hit the newsstands.

Marion Jones may have won a race the other day in Martinique, but she continues to get slaughtered in the 2nd Circuit Court of Public Opinion. For those of you who don’t scan the results of backwater track meets, Jones won an early season 100 meter race in a pedestrian time of 11.28. This time doesn’t even sniff her personnel best of 10.65, which many, including myself, think was run with the help of Victor Conte’s secret sauce. You see, Marion is completely caught up in this whole BALCO steroid scandal. She has been fingered by Victor Conte as a steroid abuser although she has vigorously defended her innocence. Now Conte’s word doesn’t necessarily compel a verdict of guilty, but the evidence against Jones is fairly compelling. The most glaring piece of evidence is Jones performance on the track - which coincidently fell apart the moment accusations began to fly. Prior to these allegations, Jones was considered to be a 2004 Olympic favorite in a couple of events, but Marion had an absolutely awful Olympic year, as she failed to make the U.S. team in the 100 meters. She did earn a trip to Athens based on a pretty average long jump performance, but once in Greece, she didn’t sniff the medal podium. And what has this year brought? Well, she opened the season by getting blasted in a 400 out in California and we now have this crawl down in Martinique. I understand the outdoor season has just begun and therefore times are likely to be slow for the next six weeks, but Marion is certainly not impressing to date, regardless of what the calendar might say. 2004 may have been a fluke, but if she follows that up with a lackluster 2005, those skeptics, like myself, are going to have plenty of ammo to fire away at a women who is every bit as defiant as Barry Bonds. She may have never failed a test, but if she keeps running eleven plus, it won’t matter. She can scream all she wants about lies and slanderous accusations, but at the end of the day, the clock doesn’t lie. For her sake, she better put up a 10.9 this year, or she has some explaining to do.

May 2 - Selig Goes Deep off Fehr

Do you think Bud Selig will be receiving a holiday card from Don Fehr this year after the stunt Selig pulled this weekend? After months of singing Fehr’s song that the current MLB steroid testing program is sufficient, Selig went solo this weekend with new lyrics that are sure to ruffle Fehr’s pretty little feathers. In case you missed it, Selig torpedoed Fehr and the MLB Players Association by saying he is no longer content with a steroid policy that is tolerant of a half dozen indiscretions. Instead, Selig now wants a policy where it is three strikes and you are out of baseball for life. Under Selig’s proposal, strike one nets a 50 game suspension, strike two brings with it a 100 game suspension and strike three results in a lifetime ban. Christ, what took so damn long for Bud to see the light? If adopted, Bud's proposed enforcement regime would be amongst the toughest in sports and would finally establish a credible deterrent to steroid abuse in baseball. This commissioner has been too passive on steroid use for far too long, but he has now put a move on Donald Fehr and the Union that would make Bobby Fisher proud. It may not be checkmate, but we are at the point where Selig is set up well to deliver the winning stroke. After all, what can Fehr do at this point? Can he really fight a defensive battle where he maintains nothing should be done unless flaws in the current system are exposed? Neither the public or Congress wants to hear such garbage. Public and bi-Partisan political sentiment is clearly behind a stricter regime and Fehr is quickly running out of allies and options. So the way I see it, he can either sign off on Selig’s proposal or fight it by himself and risk the possibility that Congress will shove it down his throat. I think if he chooses the latter, he may buy some time, but make no mistake about it; Congress will act on this issue if management and labor do not adopt something close to Selig’s proposal. Bud is going to win this fight – the only question now is whether he wins it alone or whether he will have to share the purse with the folks in Washington.

Did anyone out there, other then my boy Slew, think the Seattle-Sacramento series was going to return to the Northwest with the Sonics holding a commanding 3-1 series lead? In fact, I am not even sure the optimistic Slew would have predicted such good fortune for SeaTac after watching the Sonics go down meekly to the Kings on Friday night. But just when most predicted that this series would become a best-of-three, Ray Allen came down from his spaceship and kicked the Kings in their royal testicles. According to all accounts, and I must rely on secondary info since the game started at 2:00 AM EST., Allen was freakish last night as he poured in 45 on 17 of 28 shooting. At one point, the SeaTac radio guy screamed out Allen is so dialed in that “he must be getting signals from other planets.” I am not sure what that really means, but I guess it implies that Allen was getting some help from his buddies on Uranus and Venus – two planets where the NBA can still muster some ratings. While Allen was torching the ARCO Arena, King guard Mike Bibby was doing his best this morning to provide aid and comfort as he shot a miserable 4-17 from the field. Bibby played well in games two and three, but his poor marksmanship in games one and four are a big reason why the Kings are on the ropes as this series moves back to Seattle. So will this series ever make it back to Sacramento? The bet here is it will not, unless Kings coach Rick Adelman can convince the league that Sonic thugs, Danny Fortson and Jerome James, should be suspended for manhandling his little Queens.

In other Western Conference action, the Spurs showed why they are still the team to beat out West by taking game three off the Noogies by a score of 86-78. The Noogies scored ten in the first three minutes so that means they put up a whopping 68 over the game’s final 45 minutes. The Nuggets are in some trouble if Carmelo Anthony can’t find a way to escape Bruce Bowen’s Camel Clutch because they don’t have a lot of other weapons. Meanwhile, down in Texas, the Mavs showed more heart then anyone thought they had while taking two off the Rockettes down in Houston. Jason Terry was the big man in game four, pouring in 32, while Dirk’s 28 paced the way in game three. Wasn’t it just a week ago that the whole country was jumping on the Rockets bandwagon? I may have been one of them but I’ll have to look through my records to see if I actually bought a ticket or just reserved a seat.

Notes from the National: Smoltz struggled but beat Suppan in a big rubber game at Turner Field, which is no small accomplishment given Soups success on the road. It is hard to imagine, but the Braves are 15-10 with the worst offense seen in Atlanta since Chris Miller was taking snaps for the Falcons. How is this for consistency - Atlanta is 14th in NL Slugging, 14th in NL hitting and 14th in NL runs scored. With so little offense, can you tell me why Bobby Cox doesn’t call on Mike Hampton (.357) to pinch hit for the Bravos? If you want to know where the Braves futility begins, start at the top with Furcal whose OBP is now .277. After losing two to Willis and Burnett, Philadelphia avoided the sweep by scoring five off Beckett on Sunday. Bobby Abreu had to big shot off Beckett while Thome sat out with lower back spasms. These guys are both making $13 million this year and neither is close to slugging .400. Dontrelle Willis moved to 5-0 with a win Saturday and he gets my NL Cy Young Award for April. The Giants bought themselves some time this weekend with a sweep over the Pirates and they have now won five in a row. The Gyros have feasted this year on the Rockies and Pirates as eight of their thirteen wins have come against these two charades. Fifty-three year old Moises Alou had the big game Sunday for the Giants who had no trouble getting to Oliver Perez. Maybe Pirate GM Dave Littlefield isn’t a complete idiot after all since he was the one who refused to panic and ink Perez to a long-term deal over the off-season. It took 22 games, but Ken Griffey finally went yard for Cinci in a Saturday loss to the Brew Crew. The Reds horrific pitching was on display yesterday as Brady Clark and Lyle Overbay collectively sprung for nine hits. Eric Milton goes for the Reds tonight in Busch and the bet here is he will throw his 11th and 12th gopher balls of the year. If he keeps it up, Milty has a shot of taking out Maris and baseball’s great steroid triumvirate. If the Reds get swept at St.Louis, they will have earned my six-pack award for losing six straight at stadiums named after beer companies. It’s too bad a trip to Colorado doesn’t wind up the road trip.

So the Assholes let Roger Clemens down once again on Friday night but came back to score seven on Saturday and nine on Sunday. In case you missed it, the Rocket actually gave up three runs in seven innings and that caused his ERA to swell all the way to 1.03. The Cubs on Sunday got another blast out of Derrick Lee who just happens to be my NL player of the Month. However, the news on the North side of Chicago isn’t all rosy as Mark Prior got hammered by the woeful Astros and it now looks as if Kerry Wood will have to be shut down. The DBacks avoided a sweep at Petco yesterday as Javier Vasquez had his third straight solid outing following three consecutive bowel movements. He has one more win right now then the big lefthander he was traded for. Has anyone noticed that the Dbacks have gone from worst to first in NL fielding this year? Craig Counsell and Royce Clayton aren’t much to look at with sticks in their hands, but they can catch the ball and turn two. The Dodgers took care of business by sweeping Colorado this weekend, although I am not entirely sure why Jim Tracy took Derrick Lowe out on Sunday after six innings and 80 pitches. Where all those Mets fans who were singing Doug Mientkiewicz praise early in the year? Sorry guys - the real Minky is the guy who is two for his last twenty-one. Washington hurler John Patterson has some pretty nasty stuff and unfortunately for Mr. Steinbrenner, he won’t be unrestricted for another three years. At some point, Willie Randolph has to have a word with Jose Reyes. This aggressiveness thing was endearing for awhile, but that .250 OBP for a leadoff hitter is about as cute as a rabid pit bull.

Airmail from the AL: Break out the Champagne – the Royals actually won consecutive games over the weekend. The wins came against Cleveland, which sure could use Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughan to stabilize its pen and Willie Mays Hayes to hit leadoff. While we’re at it, I’ll take Roger Dorn over Aaron Boone at third, but you can keep Pedro Ceranno and Jake Taylor. Things have gone from bad to ugly in Cleveland where rookie shortstop Johnny Peralta now leads AL shortstops in errors with six. Imagine the kind of damage he could do if he played every day. In New York, The Big Unit pitched well in a losing effort on Friday, but Carl Pavano and the bullpen got torched on Sunday. Pavano may pull it together, but that bullpen is in worse shape than Kirsty Alley. I hope some of you saw Bernie Williams try to throw out Eric Hinskie at the plate yesterday from very short center. It barley carried the mound and it is now clear to me and every third base coach in the AL that Olympic shot putters have more range then the Yanks unarmed centerfielder. The Jays decision last week to fire their hitting coach sure paid off for Alex Rios and Corey Koskie, but the same cannot be said for Vernon Wells who has been dead cold since Toronto switched things up. Baltimore swept Tampa this weekend and has now won eight straight. Miggy had four hits yesterday, including his ninth home run, but I am giving my AL player of the month to his teammate Brian Roberts. The Birds are only 2-2 against the Sox, but they are chewing up the rest of the AL East (15-2). Guess where they go next – three against Toronto and three against Kansas City. Tampa’s Dewon Brazelton continued to impress on the road where he is now 0-14 to begin his career. I guess he won’t be pitching for Holiday Inn anytime soon.

Boston took two of three down in their Texas graveyard this weekend as both Bronson Arroyo and Matt Clement moved to 3-0. Trot Nixon is starting to heat up for the Sox, but Keith Foulke is a huge question mark right now. That two run bomb he gave up in the ninth yesterday had to make Francona’s stomach churn. Staying with Boston, the Sox have signed John Olerud to a minor league deal. I guess they figure if Kevin Millar isn’t going to supply any power (zero dongs to date), then they aren’t losing anything by bringing in a contact hitter like Olerud. It is pretty clear to me that Millar’s days in Boston are numbered, although Olerud is probably not the solution. After watching Texas play all weekend, I have come to the conclusion that the Rangers can’t hit breaking balls and really struggle with runners on. The latter may correct itself, but the former is a real problem, especially for Soriano who can’t use youth as an excuse anymore. Somebody finally beat Johan Santana although it was hardly decisive. The Angels only got two hits off Santana over eight innings, but both were home runs and that was all Bartolo Colon needed. It may be cliché, but Santana gets my AL pitcher of the month award. Wait, on second thought, I am including action from yesterday and giving the award to White Sox hurler Jon Garland. Mr. Garland threw a four hit shutout yesterday against Detroit and is now 5-0 with an ERA of 1.38. That is enough to nudge by Santana in a photo finish. And finally, out in Oakland yesterday, Barry Zito got his first win and Eric Chavez pushed his average about .200 with a couple knocks. I say Chavez will take out .250 before Zito wins two more. That probably gives Chavez three weeks to find fifty points.

I read this weekend where Dr. Tom Osborne, former head football coach at the University of Nebraska, is planning on running for Governor of Nebraska. This shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise since Osborne has spent the last four years representing the Third District of Nebraska in the House of Representatives. But what I do find interesting is just how big a role football plays in politics in both Nebraska and Oklahoma. For instance, in Oklahoma, both former Sooner quarterback J.C. Watts and former Seahawk great Steve Largent have served in Congress. And Osborne is now doing the same up North in Nebraska. I suspect that Osborne stands a pretty good chance of winning the governorship, unless of course Barry Switzer moves to Nebraska and runs as a Democrat. He may lose votes as a carpetbagger, and I doubt he is a Democrat, but the one thing Switzer enjoys more then anything in the world is beating Osborne’s ass to a pulp. He did twelve times in seventeen years while he coached at Oklahoma and I suspect he would love to do it once again.