Here a few blasts before we get started:
This Day in History: 1627 years ago today, the Roman Empire got routed by the Visigoths at Andriople. The casualties were staggering as the Roman’s had two-thirds of their army surrounded, captured and slaughtered by the younger and hungrier Visigoths. The Romans, who went into the battle laying four, were never the same. History will repeat itself tonight, as Jose Contreras will turn back the Yankee Empire in the Bronx.
Isn't it ironic that on the same day crude hits almost $64 a barrel, President Bush signs an energy bill that will do absolutely nothing to reduce this country's dependance on foreign oil. Mesaage to Congress - those subsidized wind farms marginally reduce our dependance on coal and gas, not oil. Message to Bush - Detroit is already dead so why not start digging the grave and move forward with higher fuel efficiency standards?
Sticking with our C-in-C for a moment: You got to give this guy credit - he stands by his guys (Palmeiro) even when they are confirmed ass clowns who lie to their fans and perjure themselves in front of Congress. There is a message here for those of you who want Bush to dump Karl Rove. Unless Rove gets caught on tape smoking crack and carjacking a pregnant women, his job is safe. Other then Paul O'Neil and Christie Todd, has this guy ever fired anyone? I suspect that if Bushie were the GM of the Sox, Alan Embree would still be giving up two run bombs at Fenway. Then again, if Bush were GM of the Sox, Boston would be looking to halve its revenue sharing outflows and Wade Miller would have had his foot blown off in Najaf.
Let me make this clear – I have always thought Joe Morgan was a rookie-ball analyst who sported a sub-standard IQ, poor verbal skills and an inability to criticize anything other then the weather and the speed of racial progress. As such, I have long thought Morgan had no business taking a spot in any broadcasting booth, let alone the one rented to ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball. With that said, my taste for Morgan was further soured the other night when I saw his ridiculous performance on ESPN. In case you missed it, the offense occurred when Karl Ravetch quizzed Morgan on steroid use in baseball. Morgan took the opportunity to express plenty of outrage, much like he did the other day in an interview with the Philadelphia Enquirer. Specifically, Morgan took aim at major league baseball for letting this steroid problem simmer for a decade when everyone knew bad things were going down. Everyone? Where the hell was Joe during this decade of discontent? I'll tell you where he was - he was stroking his pud and worshipping at the alter. Thankfully, Ravetch didn’t budge and decided to press Morgan with pointed follow-ups the second baseman had no interest or ability to answer. Pointedly, he asked Morgan to say whether Rafael Palmeiro belonged in the Hall of Fame. In typical Morgan fashion, he clumsily danced around the question, refusing to take it to the hoop and sink the layup that would beat Palmeiro. Morgan’s recent performance just cements his position at the bottom of ESPN’s scrap heap. This is a guy who has refused to criticize any specific player for the past 15 years. More importantly, if Morgan felt this way, how come he didn’t make any references to steroid abuse during all those Bonds’ games he broadcast over the past five years? The simple reason Morgan stayed quiet is he has no stomach for critical analysis. Even in this latest outburst, Morgan has distanced himself from any player-specific references. Enough is enough. My fingers are crossed that Morgan will be torched by the national media on this. It couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy.
I have never been a fan of Jets coach herm Edwards, but his stock fell to a new low today after I read one of his quotes in today’s New York Post. When asked about holdout John Abraham, Edwards barked, “We don’t play until September,” meaning he feels there is plenty of time remaining before this becomes an issue. Sorry Herm – wrong answer. That is not the answer of a coach – it is the answer of a fan. And it is the kind of response that I would expect from a guy at a bar wearing a green and white jersey with the name Klecko on the back. What Herm should have said is something like the following; “my attention and focus is on the players who are in camp and not those who are still at home.” Herm seems like a guy who always thinks things will just work. Accordingly, who cares if his biggest playmaker is holding out a month before the real shooting begins. Sorry Herm, preparation wins battles and having stars miss training campis nothing to dismiss. I’ll bet dollars to donuts that Edwards won’t be singing the same song if Abraham misses another ten days, comes in oout of shape and doesn’t register a sack until October.
The big series in baseball this week begins out in Oakland tonight where the A’s and Angles begin a three game set. Many are viewing this series as an opportunity to see whether this Oakland team is for real. Well, with Rich Harden going tonight and Barry Zito going tomorrow against a rookie, the A’s have great shot at sweeping this series and taking control of the West. The Angles luckily will miss Danny Haren, but Harden and Zito is enough punishment for one week. While the vaunted A’s staff has gotten most of the credit for Oakland’s turnaround, it should be noted that the offense has contributed as well. This is not the anemic team that some suggest. Just look at the numbers – the A’s are fourth in the AL in runs scored and sixth on OBP. Most think Bobby Crosby’s return sparked this offense, but if you ask me, the contributions of Jay Payton, Dan Johnson and Nick Swisher have been more unexpected and thus more important. Johnson, in particular, has been a force, slugging .550 with ten bombs in less then 200 at bats. He had a big rep coming through the A’s system, but did anyone in the organization really expect him to come in and make this kind of contribution so quickly? Eric Chavez, meanwhile, has recovered from a putrid April and is now on pace for a 100 RBI year. There are plenty of people, particularly on the East Coast, that still don’t believe in this team. Come Thursday night - this camp may be a lot smaller.
SOX BOX – Mark Belhorn’s days in Boston were already numbered but last night Tony Graffanino put a nail into Belly’s coffin. Graff slugged a three-run home run and went 3-3 with some nice base running. I would have taken 1-4 with a run scored over Belhorn, so last night was gravy city. So as the Belhorn cruise winds its way toward its concluding port, it is time for the Sox to turn their attention to another ship listing at sea. Of course I am talking about the USS Wade Miller, which got touched up again last night. Miller simply can’t get through a first inning without taking loads off the chin and last night was no exception. His fastball lacks any giddy-up and therefore he seems hesitant (or unable) to throw it for strikes. So that leaves him armed with just that “one o’clock -to-seven o’clock” hook and there is no telling when he is going to throw that over the plate. If I were the Sox, I would toss this guy on the DL and go with one of the kids. However, I would keep him around until the end of the season and perhaps tender him this winter. The reason: perhaps Miller just needs another off-season to get back to his 2002-3 form and how much can he command in arbitration coming off this year? On the flip side, the Sox may have surplus starters next year so having Miller around at 3-4M may not be such a smart thing to do. Last point on the Sox: Roberto Petegene has proven over the past five days why he has had trouble parlaying those gaudy AAA/Japan into a regular MLB job. Point of fact – Roberto has stone hands and brick feet. Bobby may have hit like Hideki over in Japan but he fields like that guy Kaz out at Shea. This is a guy who moves like Farley and scoops like an eighth grade band geek. He will not be around once John Olerud’s hammy heals.
I saw this stat published last night where Texas has already slugged 189 home runs this year. That puts them on pace to jack more then 270 bombs this year, a number that will surpass the record of 264 held by the 1997 Seattle Mariners. That is a lot of juice from one team and it begs the question of why this team didn’t off load some of that power for arms at the trade deadline. Do you really need 1.6 Dongs/gm to survive? Mark Texiera leads the club and is on pace to hit 45 round-trippers, but the scary thing about the Rangers is their depth. At this point in the season, it looks as if seven players will clock twenty balls out of play. On the other end of the spectrum, the Nationals will have just two guys hit twenty home run and the Giants may have only one. Home runs may be down this year, but you couldn’t tell that from watching the Rangers.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Monday, August 08, 2005
Aug 8/Part 2 Gretzky: The Next Magic or Dan Gable?
The word is Wayne Gretzky has decided to take a job as head coach of the Phoenix Coyotes and while Mr. Janet Jones was obviously one of the greatest players to ever play the game, some question whether he will make it as a coach. After all, the relatively recent landscape is littered with guys who were great players in their respective sports but went on to have average or poor coaching careers. You want some failures? How bout these: Ted Willaims, Magic, Zeke, Pete Rose, and Bryan Trottier. Want some more? How about Ray Berry and Frank Robinson? On the positive side, Mike Ditka is a hall of famer who coached a Super Bowl champion, Bill Russell has titles as a player and coach, and both Lenny Wilkens and Larry Bird were competent on the sidelines. In baseball, Joe Torre won an MVP as a player, and Gil Hodges was a borderline hall of famer, but neither was a superstar. So that begs the question: who was the biggest double threat in coaching/playing history? Well, John Wooden is a good place to start. He was a two-time All-American at Purdue before he went on to build a dynasty at UCLA. But he played in the pre-Hoosier days so his basketball skills have to be discounted just a bit. What about Kim Mulkey, an All-American at La Tech who went on to coach Baylor to this year’s woman’s NCAA Basketball Championship? Not too shabby. These two, along with Torre and Ditka are nice candidates, but the guy I am nominating for the crown is Dan Gable, the legendary wrestling coach of the Iowa Hawks. Look at this resume: NCAA wrestling champ, 1972 Olympic Gold Medallist and coach of the 15-time NCAA champion Iowa Hawkeyes. Gable, pure and simple, is wrestling in this country. He was a legend on the mat and he built a college program that is amongst the strongest that any school has ever built in any sport. For that, he gets my double threat award. Gable may not be Gretzky's match as an athlete, but Wayne will have to blow past Scotty Bowman to match Dan as a coach. It ain't going to happen.
Congratulations go out this morning to Morgan Pressel who just wrapped up the best USGA year since the days of Bobby Jones. Check out this resume. The 17 year-old phenom won the U.S. Woman’s amateur yesterday and that comes on top of her second place finishes in the U.S. Woman’s Open and the U.S. Woman’s Jr. Amateur. That is the kind of year that even Jones would admire. Annika Sorenstam has had a remarkable year, but my vote for female golfer of the year goes to Pressel. By the way, am I a pervert because I watched twenty minutes of the tape-delayed U.S. Women’s Junior Amateur this weekend? For those of you who missed it, Tiger’s niece has game and so do Ivan Lendl’s two daughters.
So Ty Law is headed to the Meadowlands to play corner for the New York Jets. Wow, this is just what New York City needs - another pissed off black athlete who plays with a huge chip on his shoulder. Does this sound familiar? Well it should since it is basically a rehash of the Gary Sheffield Story starring John Amos as the Sheff. Don’t get me wrong – I am a fan of Law. Number twenty-four is a warrior who has always come up huge in big games and if you don’t believe me, you should go ahead and ask Kurt Warner and Peyton Manning. Law simply owns Manning and his pick and run basically turned around Super Bowl XXXVI. Moreover, Law is no pussy. He will play hurt and he will lay it all out on the field. Whether it is in coverage or in run support, Law is simply one of the most physical corners in football. As such, Jets fans can be assured they are getting a good player, so long as Law’s foot is healed. But before Jets fans start engraving those AFC East Championship trophies, you should be warned that Law comes with some baggage. First of all, he is much like Sheff in that he has a huge ego and always feels like he is being overlooked. He thrives on the sleight and tends to play worse as his recognition grows. Be warned Jets fans - you don’t want this guy getting too many compliments before a big game. Second of all, Law is a penalty machine and that will surely drive Herm Edwards crazy. Third, Law may not prove too useful against New England since the Pats know his faults and will adjust accordingly. The bet here is we will see Deion Branch stop Law short and beat him deep at least once this year. The morale to this story is Law will help this team, but doesn’t it say something that Belicheck was quick to swap out Law for Duane Starks? Sure, there were some financial considerations, but BB letting go of defenders is a bit like Mazzone getting rid of pitchers. I am not sure you want to be on the other side of that trade.
Lets stick with the Jets for a second and discuss this fight that broke out the other day at a practice the Jets were having with the Giants. The guys are Pro Football Talk, who are usually pretty honest, absolutely tore into the Jets following the fight, running a story that quotes a league source who most likely works for the football Giants. According to this guy, "The Jets act like they just won the Super Bowl. All they are is a bunch of fucking thugs. [There's] no discipline on that team at all. . . . And [Edwards] acts like he is some sort of preacher. He is a fucking phony." Man, those are fighting words, although it’s probably 50/50 they were either made up or came from a pissed off Giants fan who owns seasons tickets and calls himself a “league source.” I never considered the Jets or their fans to be extraordinary talkers – certainly not on par with the Steelers or Eagles. But I guess after going out and winning a playoff game in San Diego and playing the Steelers to a draw a week later, the Jets feel like they have a seat at this year’s adult table. Careful guys, it was just last December that the Pats went into the Meadowlands and pushed the Jets all over the field. By the way, I don’t think Edwards is a phony. I just think he is a danger to himself and his team on game day.
Congratulations go out this morning to Morgan Pressel who just wrapped up the best USGA year since the days of Bobby Jones. Check out this resume. The 17 year-old phenom won the U.S. Woman’s amateur yesterday and that comes on top of her second place finishes in the U.S. Woman’s Open and the U.S. Woman’s Jr. Amateur. That is the kind of year that even Jones would admire. Annika Sorenstam has had a remarkable year, but my vote for female golfer of the year goes to Pressel. By the way, am I a pervert because I watched twenty minutes of the tape-delayed U.S. Women’s Junior Amateur this weekend? For those of you who missed it, Tiger’s niece has game and so do Ivan Lendl’s two daughters.
So Ty Law is headed to the Meadowlands to play corner for the New York Jets. Wow, this is just what New York City needs - another pissed off black athlete who plays with a huge chip on his shoulder. Does this sound familiar? Well it should since it is basically a rehash of the Gary Sheffield Story starring John Amos as the Sheff. Don’t get me wrong – I am a fan of Law. Number twenty-four is a warrior who has always come up huge in big games and if you don’t believe me, you should go ahead and ask Kurt Warner and Peyton Manning. Law simply owns Manning and his pick and run basically turned around Super Bowl XXXVI. Moreover, Law is no pussy. He will play hurt and he will lay it all out on the field. Whether it is in coverage or in run support, Law is simply one of the most physical corners in football. As such, Jets fans can be assured they are getting a good player, so long as Law’s foot is healed. But before Jets fans start engraving those AFC East Championship trophies, you should be warned that Law comes with some baggage. First of all, he is much like Sheff in that he has a huge ego and always feels like he is being overlooked. He thrives on the sleight and tends to play worse as his recognition grows. Be warned Jets fans - you don’t want this guy getting too many compliments before a big game. Second of all, Law is a penalty machine and that will surely drive Herm Edwards crazy. Third, Law may not prove too useful against New England since the Pats know his faults and will adjust accordingly. The bet here is we will see Deion Branch stop Law short and beat him deep at least once this year. The morale to this story is Law will help this team, but doesn’t it say something that Belicheck was quick to swap out Law for Duane Starks? Sure, there were some financial considerations, but BB letting go of defenders is a bit like Mazzone getting rid of pitchers. I am not sure you want to be on the other side of that trade.
Lets stick with the Jets for a second and discuss this fight that broke out the other day at a practice the Jets were having with the Giants. The guys are Pro Football Talk, who are usually pretty honest, absolutely tore into the Jets following the fight, running a story that quotes a league source who most likely works for the football Giants. According to this guy, "The Jets act like they just won the Super Bowl. All they are is a bunch of fucking thugs. [There's] no discipline on that team at all. . . . And [Edwards] acts like he is some sort of preacher. He is a fucking phony." Man, those are fighting words, although it’s probably 50/50 they were either made up or came from a pissed off Giants fan who owns seasons tickets and calls himself a “league source.” I never considered the Jets or their fans to be extraordinary talkers – certainly not on par with the Steelers or Eagles. But I guess after going out and winning a playoff game in San Diego and playing the Steelers to a draw a week later, the Jets feel like they have a seat at this year’s adult table. Careful guys, it was just last December that the Pats went into the Meadowlands and pushed the Jets all over the field. By the way, I don’t think Edwards is a phony. I just think he is a danger to himself and his team on game day.
Aug 8/Part One - Brain Dead Caribbeans and Banged Up Yanks
Here are a few pop culture points to get things started:
Entourage was very solid last night after getting cracked the week before. Ari carried last night’s show, going 3-4 with a bomb and two doubles, while Turtle and Drama combined on a strong seven hit shutout. The only trouble spot was the storyline between Vincent and Mandy, which went 0-4 and remains mired in a bad slump. Unfortunately, it looks like the producers remain committed to this storyline and will continue to go with it through seasons’ end (kind of reminds me of the Red Sox and Kevin Millaaaaaaar). As the season winds down, keep an eye on this late season call-up who could be hooking up with Eric. She has plenty of potential.
I haven’t seen Must Love Dogs yet, but I am thinking about seeing it just to check out the Newfoundland that stars as Diane Lane’s borrowed pooch. God, a Newf and Lane in the same picture – that is heaven. The only thing that might beat that is a movie staring Jenny Connelly and a Bernese Mountain Dog (http://www.berner.org/). I have to think about this a while, but Lane and a Newf may be the greatest chick-dog combo in motion picture history. It certainly ranks ahead of Lane and that vermin chasing Jack Russell from My Dog Skip. Feel free to submit your favorites, but please – no references to Snow Dogs – that was just Cuba being Cuba with a bunch of Siberian Huskies. .
There is no doubt that ESPN played a big role in elevating this country’s interest in poker and my question now is whether the network is planning on doing the same thing for eating contests. In case you haven’t noticed, ESPN is now covering a bunch of this stuff after deciding that Americans really like watching people stuff their faces with hot dogs, chicken wings and cheesecake. Lest you think this is a joke, one recent eating contest airing had higher ratings then that Steven A. Smith travesty that ESPN now shows every night. I, for one, applaud the move since I would much rather watch Takeru Kobayashi (The Hot Dog King) eat pasta then watch Steven stroke Alan Iverson’s ego. By the way, there was a great critique of Smith’s show in Sunday’s New York Post (http://www.nypost.com/sports/26723.htm).
Thirty-one years ago today, Richard Milhouse Nixon decided to resign rather then face impeachment proceedings. Isn’t it time for history to repeat itself?
On to this morning’s masterpiece:
I think its time for Felipe Alou to tone it down a bit. In case you missed it, Felipe totally lost it this week when Larry Krueger, a Frisco sports talk show host, said that he was tired off seeing the Giants “brain dead Caribbean hitters hacking at slop nightly.” Krueger went on to say that Alou’s “mind has turned to Cream of Wheat.” Felipe responded with outrage, claiming Krueger’s remarks had offended “HUNDREDS of millions of people.” Further, Alou refused Kruger’s apology, arguing that there “is no way to apologize for such a sin.” Felipe, it is time for you to go to the bathroom and adjust your panties because its clear they are bunching up and making you a wee bit uncomfortable. I am not saying Krueger didn’t mess up here, but lets not go crazy and pretend he sodomized a whole community. The question I have for Felipe is whether he is angry that Krueger singled out the Hispanics on the Giants, including himself, or whether he is peeved that Krueger used the term “brain dead Caribbeans?” I hope it’s the former because I really don’t see what’s wrong with the latter.
On point one, all Krueger is guilty of is perhaps unfairly ascribing too much blame for the Giants dismal season to only Omar Vizquel, Edgardo Alfonzo, Moises Alou, Deivi Cruz and Pedro Feliz .As Krueger knows and should have mentioned, this team, which includes plenty of white and black guys, hasn’t pitched well and without Barry Bonds, the entire offense has struggled. As such, it doesn’t seem fair to single out guys like Feliz when guys like Michael Tucker and JT Snows haven’t exactly pulled their own weight. So Kruger is perhaps guilty of picking on the team’s Hispanics – is this a crime for which no apology is suitable? In my mind, Krueger is basically guilty of selective prosecution and according to sports radio sentencing guidelines; this crime is a fairly minor misdemeanor. Hell, I am sure this kind of stuff would happen all the time to black guys up in Boston if any actually played for the Red Sox.
So lets move on to point two. I suspect Alou is having a lot of trouble with Krueger’s use of the term “brain dead Caribbeans.” I am a bit puzzled by Alou’s outrage because I don’t see the line as being too offensive, except perhaps to Vizquel who is Venezuelan and therefore should probably not be lumped in with the Caribbeans. Granted, I am not from the Caribbean and I didn’t hear the comments directly, but based on a strict interpretation of the quote, Kruger wasn’t stereotyping all Caribbeans - he just was stating that those playing for the Giants are apparently brain dead. And looking at the stats – I am not sure Krueger is all that far off. The thin-skinned may disagree with me, but this was not John Rocker or even Al Campanis. Sure, Kruger’s word selection was probably a bit harsh, even in the “no-holds barred” world of talk radio, but Alou has blown this way out of proportion. To suggest that there is no way to apologize for such a “sin” is simply ludicrous. Lets save claims like that for violent crimes against children and not trivial claims like Pedro Feliz is a hack (which he is). The crux of this matter is Alou is pissed off that some guy got on the radio and took he and his team to task. But rather then direct all his fire at Krueger, perhaps Alou should look in the mirror and start holding his team more accountable for its shoddy play.
I am not taking credit for the following, but it is rich and deserves repeating. With regard to Rafael Palmeiro, I heard someone recently mention “between the steroids and the Viagra, Palmeiro must have the most confused cock in the world.” A little sophomoric but good stuff anyways.
Another great line that I am ripping off: “When Kevin Millar goes 0-4 with two lazy flys and two weak grounders, is that just Kevin being Kevin?”
Here is a quote from this column on July 27: “The Yanks are also reportedly trying to deal Carl Pavano for Joel Pniero and Randy Winn. Let me get this straight – the Ms are supposed to trade their crap for more expensive crap. What this purported deal says to me is the Yanks know Pavano’s injury is basically a season-ender.” Boy do those last words sound prescient today as Pavano remains on the shelf and is now headed to Alabama to have his shoulder examined by a leading orthopedist. Pavano did pitch in the low minors this week, but he got cracked and the next day, he developed a stiff wing. The bet here is Pavano will certainly not pitch in the majors before Labor Day and is no better then 50/50 to pitch down the stretch. My theory on Pavano is his game went to hell the moment Alyssa Milano dumped him. If I were the Yankees and had to pay this guy another $32 million dollars, I would get on the horn with my boy Doug Jones (key grip on the show) and have Jones set Pavano up with one of the other girls on Charmed. You get Pavs matched up with Holly Marie Combs or Rose McGowan. and he may just find his stuff again. And if the gals aren’t into Pavano, then the Yanks should just pay them off. Hell, that’s what they do with everyone on their roster and what’s another couple million if it means getting Pavano right.
Pavano is not the only pinstriper whose season is now in jeopardy. The word leaking out of Yankee Inc. is the little unit has now developed a sore back and may miss his next start. Sorry Yankee fans – there is no such thing as missing just one start with a balky back. That is like saying someone may miss just a single meal after having two root canals and a couple of gum graphs. It is a simple truth - once the back acts up, there is no telling how long a pitcher will be out. And if Randi can’t go on Friday, which sounds possible, the safe bet is he will be headed to the DL and at least a second missed start. But fear not Yankee fans; Jaret Wright is reportedly twirling in the high 80’s and may be ready to return by next April.
SOX BOX: Since the trade deadline expired last Sunday at 4:00, Manny Ramirez is 9-16 with three bombs and 11 RBI. The last guy to get this hot off a big pinch hit was The Natural - Roy Hobbs. The Red Sox should try to trade Manram every week if this is how he is going to respond. For those of you dying to know what is going on with Mark Belhorn since he sprained his thumb a few weeks ago, here is an update. The Wizard of Whiff is down at Pawtucket where he is hitting .115. (3-26) with four RBI and 9 strikeouts. It just goes to show that Belhorn can’t hit good pitching, bad pitching and everything in between. Meanwhile, Dustin Pedroia, the Sox second baseman of the present and future, has begun tearing it up down at AAA now that his wrist has healed. He hit a couple bombs this weekend and has his average back up near .300. But with Tony Graff playing steady above him, Pedroia may have to wait until next April to get his shot. Nonetheless, I think it is now clear that Bells – “the hero of game six” - will never play in Boston again. Thank God for small miracles. Elsewhere on the Boston farm, Kevin Youkalis is white hot, John Papelbon has thrown a couple scoreless outings out of the pen and Anibal Sanchez, the 21-year old phenom who almost went to Tampa last week, continues to flourish at AA Portland. He gave up two runs in 6.2 innings yesterday and took the loss v. the top prospect in the Mets organization, but he walked none while fanning nine. His ERA is 1.31 at AA where he has 41 K’s in just 33 innings. Elsewhere, first round pick Craig Hansen may make his AA debut for Portland this week. Some optimists this Hansen could make it to Boston this year, but I think the real interesting call for the Sox right now is what to do with Jon Lester, a hard throwing lefty who leads the Eastern League in EPA. The Sox clearly need a lefty in the big league pen and Lester is the top lefty in the organization. But he is a natural starter and with 125 innings in the bag, I doubt the Sox want to keep him active too much longer. I suspect the organization will soon cut Lester’s workload if they intend to give him the ball in September.
I know the fashionable thing to do right now is to pick the surging Assholes to win the NL Pennant, but check out what happened to this scantily clad emperor this weekend in San Francisco. The Holes had their big three going but came out of the windy city with just one victory in three chances. On Friday, Andy Pettite lost a duel to Jason Schmidt and on Saturday, Lee Harvey Oswalt came up short against Noah Lowry. On Sunday, the Rocket righted things as he went seven strong and the Holes got the Giants late, but the morale to this weekend’s story is the Holes offense scares no one. Sure, they have three front line starters, but come October, winners have to generate at least a marginal amount of offense. And at this point, it is no certainty that Houston is up to the task. Hell, Schmidt can still twirl the rawhide, but if the Holes can’t hit Lowry and Brian Cooper, what are they going to do against Carpenter, Morris and Mulder?
Is there any chance that Brian Giles will stay in San Diego once his contract expires after the season? Judging from how he has hit at home, the bet is Brian will fly off to greener pastures where his bombs can do some damage. Take a look at Brian’s numbers at home. He is hitting .240 at the Pet Store with just two measly Jacks. He hasn’t exactly demonstrated a lot more thunder on the road (8 HRs), but it sure beats what he has accomplished at home. While Giles is hardly a star, he will command plenty of attention this winter, as the free agent pickings are slim. Will he perhaps move to Atlanta and play with his brother? That would be an excellent fit for the Braves, although I am not sure they have the resources to swing such a deal. Another possibility is Toronto, which is in need of both left-handed bat and a right fielder. The Jays have some money to spend this winter and Giles could get a look up north. Another possibility for the Jays is Hideki Matsui, although "underbite’s" asking price – at least 12.5M for 4 years – may be a bit steep.
Speaking of the Padres, they seemed to have righted the ship with five wins on a six game trip to Pittsburgh and Washington. Jake Peavy won two starts on the trip, including yesterday’s shutout of the Nationals at RFK. The Padres have a tough 15 game stretch coming up against the NL East and Houston, but if they can somehow manage to hang around .500 until the 24th, they should be in pretty good shape. On second thought, this is a team whose rotation now includes both Chan Ho Park and Pedro Astacio. Having these two would have been a positive back in 1999, but in 2005 it is clearly a liability.
Its too bad world record holder Asafa Powell was hurt and couldn’t compete because no one else in the world could do anything yesterday against Justin Gaitlin in the 100 meters at the World Track & Field Championships in Helsinki. Gaitlin went out and bombed the field, recording a 9.88 while no one else ran under ten seconds. That is the kind of beating that Democrats now take in Texas and Oklahoma. Now, if Gaitlin wins two more events at this meet – as he is expected to do – he may have a shot of cracking the top-five of my sportsman of the year list. Currently, World Cup ski champion Bode Miller leads the competition, but Tiger is right there and would probably pull ahead with a win next week at the PGA. Gaitlin is in that second tier that currently includes Lance, the Rocket, and Aussie swimmer Grant Hackett. The big question for me is can Tiger be overtaken if he wins the PGA. My guess is it would take something absolutely heroic in the World Series, a second Heisman for Leinart or a third straight Super Bowl for Tom Brady to do the trick.
For those of you not familiar with Hackett – here is a thumbnail of his 2005 resume. At last week’s world swimming championships in Montreal, Hackett won the 400, 800 and 1500 meter freestyle, while setting a new world record in the 800. In the 1500, Hackett has now won the last four world championships to go along with his gold medals from both Sydney and Athens. In fact, he has not lost this event in eight years and there is a very good possibility that he will remain undefeated through Bejing. If he accomplishes that feat, it will amount to one of the greatest streaks in Olympic sports history, ranking right up there with Eddie Moses, Lance Armstrong and Alexander Karelin. Hackett is simply the greatest distance swimmer of all-time and even though American Larsen Jensen gave Hackett a scare in Athens, the Aussie remains one of the safest bets in swimming. In fact, he just may be the surest now that the world has begun creeping up on Michael Phelps.
Entourage was very solid last night after getting cracked the week before. Ari carried last night’s show, going 3-4 with a bomb and two doubles, while Turtle and Drama combined on a strong seven hit shutout. The only trouble spot was the storyline between Vincent and Mandy, which went 0-4 and remains mired in a bad slump. Unfortunately, it looks like the producers remain committed to this storyline and will continue to go with it through seasons’ end (kind of reminds me of the Red Sox and Kevin Millaaaaaaar). As the season winds down, keep an eye on this late season call-up who could be hooking up with Eric. She has plenty of potential.
I haven’t seen Must Love Dogs yet, but I am thinking about seeing it just to check out the Newfoundland that stars as Diane Lane’s borrowed pooch. God, a Newf and Lane in the same picture – that is heaven. The only thing that might beat that is a movie staring Jenny Connelly and a Bernese Mountain Dog (http://www.berner.org/). I have to think about this a while, but Lane and a Newf may be the greatest chick-dog combo in motion picture history. It certainly ranks ahead of Lane and that vermin chasing Jack Russell from My Dog Skip. Feel free to submit your favorites, but please – no references to Snow Dogs – that was just Cuba being Cuba with a bunch of Siberian Huskies. .
There is no doubt that ESPN played a big role in elevating this country’s interest in poker and my question now is whether the network is planning on doing the same thing for eating contests. In case you haven’t noticed, ESPN is now covering a bunch of this stuff after deciding that Americans really like watching people stuff their faces with hot dogs, chicken wings and cheesecake. Lest you think this is a joke, one recent eating contest airing had higher ratings then that Steven A. Smith travesty that ESPN now shows every night. I, for one, applaud the move since I would much rather watch Takeru Kobayashi (The Hot Dog King) eat pasta then watch Steven stroke Alan Iverson’s ego. By the way, there was a great critique of Smith’s show in Sunday’s New York Post (http://www.nypost.com/sports/26723.htm).
Thirty-one years ago today, Richard Milhouse Nixon decided to resign rather then face impeachment proceedings. Isn’t it time for history to repeat itself?
On to this morning’s masterpiece:
I think its time for Felipe Alou to tone it down a bit. In case you missed it, Felipe totally lost it this week when Larry Krueger, a Frisco sports talk show host, said that he was tired off seeing the Giants “brain dead Caribbean hitters hacking at slop nightly.” Krueger went on to say that Alou’s “mind has turned to Cream of Wheat.” Felipe responded with outrage, claiming Krueger’s remarks had offended “HUNDREDS of millions of people.” Further, Alou refused Kruger’s apology, arguing that there “is no way to apologize for such a sin.” Felipe, it is time for you to go to the bathroom and adjust your panties because its clear they are bunching up and making you a wee bit uncomfortable. I am not saying Krueger didn’t mess up here, but lets not go crazy and pretend he sodomized a whole community. The question I have for Felipe is whether he is angry that Krueger singled out the Hispanics on the Giants, including himself, or whether he is peeved that Krueger used the term “brain dead Caribbeans?” I hope it’s the former because I really don’t see what’s wrong with the latter.
On point one, all Krueger is guilty of is perhaps unfairly ascribing too much blame for the Giants dismal season to only Omar Vizquel, Edgardo Alfonzo, Moises Alou, Deivi Cruz and Pedro Feliz .As Krueger knows and should have mentioned, this team, which includes plenty of white and black guys, hasn’t pitched well and without Barry Bonds, the entire offense has struggled. As such, it doesn’t seem fair to single out guys like Feliz when guys like Michael Tucker and JT Snows haven’t exactly pulled their own weight. So Kruger is perhaps guilty of picking on the team’s Hispanics – is this a crime for which no apology is suitable? In my mind, Krueger is basically guilty of selective prosecution and according to sports radio sentencing guidelines; this crime is a fairly minor misdemeanor. Hell, I am sure this kind of stuff would happen all the time to black guys up in Boston if any actually played for the Red Sox.
So lets move on to point two. I suspect Alou is having a lot of trouble with Krueger’s use of the term “brain dead Caribbeans.” I am a bit puzzled by Alou’s outrage because I don’t see the line as being too offensive, except perhaps to Vizquel who is Venezuelan and therefore should probably not be lumped in with the Caribbeans. Granted, I am not from the Caribbean and I didn’t hear the comments directly, but based on a strict interpretation of the quote, Kruger wasn’t stereotyping all Caribbeans - he just was stating that those playing for the Giants are apparently brain dead. And looking at the stats – I am not sure Krueger is all that far off. The thin-skinned may disagree with me, but this was not John Rocker or even Al Campanis. Sure, Kruger’s word selection was probably a bit harsh, even in the “no-holds barred” world of talk radio, but Alou has blown this way out of proportion. To suggest that there is no way to apologize for such a “sin” is simply ludicrous. Lets save claims like that for violent crimes against children and not trivial claims like Pedro Feliz is a hack (which he is). The crux of this matter is Alou is pissed off that some guy got on the radio and took he and his team to task. But rather then direct all his fire at Krueger, perhaps Alou should look in the mirror and start holding his team more accountable for its shoddy play.
I am not taking credit for the following, but it is rich and deserves repeating. With regard to Rafael Palmeiro, I heard someone recently mention “between the steroids and the Viagra, Palmeiro must have the most confused cock in the world.” A little sophomoric but good stuff anyways.
Another great line that I am ripping off: “When Kevin Millar goes 0-4 with two lazy flys and two weak grounders, is that just Kevin being Kevin?”
Here is a quote from this column on July 27: “The Yanks are also reportedly trying to deal Carl Pavano for Joel Pniero and Randy Winn. Let me get this straight – the Ms are supposed to trade their crap for more expensive crap. What this purported deal says to me is the Yanks know Pavano’s injury is basically a season-ender.” Boy do those last words sound prescient today as Pavano remains on the shelf and is now headed to Alabama to have his shoulder examined by a leading orthopedist. Pavano did pitch in the low minors this week, but he got cracked and the next day, he developed a stiff wing. The bet here is Pavano will certainly not pitch in the majors before Labor Day and is no better then 50/50 to pitch down the stretch. My theory on Pavano is his game went to hell the moment Alyssa Milano dumped him. If I were the Yankees and had to pay this guy another $32 million dollars, I would get on the horn with my boy Doug Jones (key grip on the show) and have Jones set Pavano up with one of the other girls on Charmed. You get Pavs matched up with Holly Marie Combs or Rose McGowan. and he may just find his stuff again. And if the gals aren’t into Pavano, then the Yanks should just pay them off. Hell, that’s what they do with everyone on their roster and what’s another couple million if it means getting Pavano right.
Pavano is not the only pinstriper whose season is now in jeopardy. The word leaking out of Yankee Inc. is the little unit has now developed a sore back and may miss his next start. Sorry Yankee fans – there is no such thing as missing just one start with a balky back. That is like saying someone may miss just a single meal after having two root canals and a couple of gum graphs. It is a simple truth - once the back acts up, there is no telling how long a pitcher will be out. And if Randi can’t go on Friday, which sounds possible, the safe bet is he will be headed to the DL and at least a second missed start. But fear not Yankee fans; Jaret Wright is reportedly twirling in the high 80’s and may be ready to return by next April.
SOX BOX: Since the trade deadline expired last Sunday at 4:00, Manny Ramirez is 9-16 with three bombs and 11 RBI. The last guy to get this hot off a big pinch hit was The Natural - Roy Hobbs. The Red Sox should try to trade Manram every week if this is how he is going to respond. For those of you dying to know what is going on with Mark Belhorn since he sprained his thumb a few weeks ago, here is an update. The Wizard of Whiff is down at Pawtucket where he is hitting .115. (3-26) with four RBI and 9 strikeouts. It just goes to show that Belhorn can’t hit good pitching, bad pitching and everything in between. Meanwhile, Dustin Pedroia, the Sox second baseman of the present and future, has begun tearing it up down at AAA now that his wrist has healed. He hit a couple bombs this weekend and has his average back up near .300. But with Tony Graff playing steady above him, Pedroia may have to wait until next April to get his shot. Nonetheless, I think it is now clear that Bells – “the hero of game six” - will never play in Boston again. Thank God for small miracles. Elsewhere on the Boston farm, Kevin Youkalis is white hot, John Papelbon has thrown a couple scoreless outings out of the pen and Anibal Sanchez, the 21-year old phenom who almost went to Tampa last week, continues to flourish at AA Portland. He gave up two runs in 6.2 innings yesterday and took the loss v. the top prospect in the Mets organization, but he walked none while fanning nine. His ERA is 1.31 at AA where he has 41 K’s in just 33 innings. Elsewhere, first round pick Craig Hansen may make his AA debut for Portland this week. Some optimists this Hansen could make it to Boston this year, but I think the real interesting call for the Sox right now is what to do with Jon Lester, a hard throwing lefty who leads the Eastern League in EPA. The Sox clearly need a lefty in the big league pen and Lester is the top lefty in the organization. But he is a natural starter and with 125 innings in the bag, I doubt the Sox want to keep him active too much longer. I suspect the organization will soon cut Lester’s workload if they intend to give him the ball in September.
I know the fashionable thing to do right now is to pick the surging Assholes to win the NL Pennant, but check out what happened to this scantily clad emperor this weekend in San Francisco. The Holes had their big three going but came out of the windy city with just one victory in three chances. On Friday, Andy Pettite lost a duel to Jason Schmidt and on Saturday, Lee Harvey Oswalt came up short against Noah Lowry. On Sunday, the Rocket righted things as he went seven strong and the Holes got the Giants late, but the morale to this weekend’s story is the Holes offense scares no one. Sure, they have three front line starters, but come October, winners have to generate at least a marginal amount of offense. And at this point, it is no certainty that Houston is up to the task. Hell, Schmidt can still twirl the rawhide, but if the Holes can’t hit Lowry and Brian Cooper, what are they going to do against Carpenter, Morris and Mulder?
Is there any chance that Brian Giles will stay in San Diego once his contract expires after the season? Judging from how he has hit at home, the bet is Brian will fly off to greener pastures where his bombs can do some damage. Take a look at Brian’s numbers at home. He is hitting .240 at the Pet Store with just two measly Jacks. He hasn’t exactly demonstrated a lot more thunder on the road (8 HRs), but it sure beats what he has accomplished at home. While Giles is hardly a star, he will command plenty of attention this winter, as the free agent pickings are slim. Will he perhaps move to Atlanta and play with his brother? That would be an excellent fit for the Braves, although I am not sure they have the resources to swing such a deal. Another possibility is Toronto, which is in need of both left-handed bat and a right fielder. The Jays have some money to spend this winter and Giles could get a look up north. Another possibility for the Jays is Hideki Matsui, although "underbite’s" asking price – at least 12.5M for 4 years – may be a bit steep.
Speaking of the Padres, they seemed to have righted the ship with five wins on a six game trip to Pittsburgh and Washington. Jake Peavy won two starts on the trip, including yesterday’s shutout of the Nationals at RFK. The Padres have a tough 15 game stretch coming up against the NL East and Houston, but if they can somehow manage to hang around .500 until the 24th, they should be in pretty good shape. On second thought, this is a team whose rotation now includes both Chan Ho Park and Pedro Astacio. Having these two would have been a positive back in 1999, but in 2005 it is clearly a liability.
Its too bad world record holder Asafa Powell was hurt and couldn’t compete because no one else in the world could do anything yesterday against Justin Gaitlin in the 100 meters at the World Track & Field Championships in Helsinki. Gaitlin went out and bombed the field, recording a 9.88 while no one else ran under ten seconds. That is the kind of beating that Democrats now take in Texas and Oklahoma. Now, if Gaitlin wins two more events at this meet – as he is expected to do – he may have a shot of cracking the top-five of my sportsman of the year list. Currently, World Cup ski champion Bode Miller leads the competition, but Tiger is right there and would probably pull ahead with a win next week at the PGA. Gaitlin is in that second tier that currently includes Lance, the Rocket, and Aussie swimmer Grant Hackett. The big question for me is can Tiger be overtaken if he wins the PGA. My guess is it would take something absolutely heroic in the World Series, a second Heisman for Leinart or a third straight Super Bowl for Tom Brady to do the trick.
For those of you not familiar with Hackett – here is a thumbnail of his 2005 resume. At last week’s world swimming championships in Montreal, Hackett won the 400, 800 and 1500 meter freestyle, while setting a new world record in the 800. In the 1500, Hackett has now won the last four world championships to go along with his gold medals from both Sydney and Athens. In fact, he has not lost this event in eight years and there is a very good possibility that he will remain undefeated through Bejing. If he accomplishes that feat, it will amount to one of the greatest streaks in Olympic sports history, ranking right up there with Eddie Moses, Lance Armstrong and Alexander Karelin. Hackett is simply the greatest distance swimmer of all-time and even though American Larsen Jensen gave Hackett a scare in Athens, the Aussie remains one of the safest bets in swimming. In fact, he just may be the surest now that the world has begun creeping up on Michael Phelps.
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