It sure didn’t take long for the loggers to take a chunk out of that Joe Torre coaching tree. Today, Lee Mazzilli was canned down in Baltimore in a move that was probably 10 months overdue. I had my mind made up on Mazzilli on September 5th of last year when one of his “instant classics” cost the Birds a game against the Yanks. In that game, Mazzilli came down with amnesia and forgot that you never bring in wild right-hander when you have a lefty on the mound that is taking out Yanks like a confederate sniper. He’s had a few brain farts against the Sox as well, leading me to believe he is one of the worst bullpen handlers in recent baseball history. I guess he didn’t learn a whole lot from Joe making all those tough calls to bring in Mo. Ok, so one branch on Torre’s tree has been snapped and I am left wondering how long will it be before the Randolph branch is hit by lightening? Willie hasn’t been quite the moron Mazzilli was, but he has certainly not distinguished himself. The bet here is he will feel some heat next year if the Mets do not seriously challenge for a playoff berth.
Speaking of Randolph and the Mets – I think it pretty clear Roberto Hernandez is showing some signs of overuse. He gave up runs on both Tuesday and Wednesday and today he got absolutely rocked as he squandered a two-run ninth inning lead. Does Randolph think you can pitch this guy everyday? For god’s sake, Hernandez is an emergency tire that Randolph is using for a cross-country trip. Let’s be honest – Hernandez is 47 years old and at that age, he should be petting therapy dogs and not pitching in five nail-biters a week. The real problem is the Mets are basically going with a ten man staff and the bullpen is now totally burned out. I am not sure hwo serious this team could challenge for a playoff spot but it was criminal that GM Omar Minaya didn’t go out at the trade deadline and at least secure a capable reliever, regardless of whether that pitcher was a middle guy or closer.
Mets fans love to dump on Mike Piazza, but let me tell you something, The Slice, is quietly having a nice year. After hitting a bomb this afternoon, Piazza is projected to have a 20/80 year which isn’t too bad for a sub-500 at bat catcher. Hey, his defense is atrocious and has been for years, but I dare you to give me the names of five catchers who are having Mike’s year at the plate. And don’t give me the name of Engleberg who tore it up for the Bears this Spring. Meanwhile, Mike’s understudy – Ramon Castro - is quietly putting up nice numbers as well. This may shock you but Castro has now knocked in twenty-two runs in just 100 at bats. Granted, that is not a huge sample, but Castro has demonstrated that he can hit major league pitching with runners on base. And at the very least, Castro has proven that he is more than adequate enough to take over for Piazza next year.
It is shocking, but I live in a city where a fair amount of baseball fans will argue that Robinson Cano is the leading candidate to win the American League Rookie of the Year award. Nothing speaks to New York’s baseball myopia as this issue. Lets just forget for a second that Cano is mired in a horrible streak where he has 2 hits in his last 24 at bats. With the slump, Cano is hitting just a smidge under .300, but his OBP is just .317. His numbers are good, but they are certainly nothing special. And they are certainly nowhere those of Tiger Chris Shelton, who is slugging .560. Moreover, Toronto hurler Gustavo Chacin has eleven wins and an ERA of 3.30, while Oakland closer Huston Street is on fire closing games on the West Coast. The morale to the story New York fans: your boy Cano is at best the fourth best rookie in the American League, and that may be shortchanging guys like Aaron Hill and Tadahito Iguchi. I don’t want to hear YES man Michael Kay mention one more time that Cano is a ”contender” for the ROY award, as he did this afternoon. That is a pretty damn liberal definition of “contender.” Hey, I can eat a lot of hot dogs and I guess under Kay’s definition, I am a contender to take out Kobayashi at next year’s Nathan’s hot dog eating contest.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Aug 2 - Palmeirogate
Just want to get this out of the way to begin – Its August, meaning its time to get it on! I have been a bit passive this baseball season, but Sunday’s game at Fenway got me jacked and ready for the stretch run. Cashorre’s punk ass bitches are going down!
There is now talk in the media that MLB has known about Rafael Palmeiro’s guilt for the past three months, but sat on the news while it was confirmed and Raf had an opportunity to present his side of the case. If this is true, baseball is in for a world of shit. I don’t recall MLB sitting on Juan Rincon’s result for three months. Alex Sanchez? They probably sent out that suspension with the daily mail on the day they got it came back from the lab. Why in god’s name was MLB protecting this clown? And more importantly, did they compromise the integrity of the testing program and the game itself by sitting on this information. You bet your ass they did. If a player can play for three months after testing positive, then the program’s enforcement regime is a certifiable joke. It’s tantamount to letting a runner compete in the Olympics after he tested positive at the Olympic Trials. There is no way the IOC would let that happen and it is stupefying that baseball finds it permissible. And what about Bud’s statement back in the spring that he would be announcing test failures the moment he had names in hand? Bud has some explaining to do if he had this particular name in hand back in April. If it ever comes out that the league sat on this while Palmeiro stalked 3000 hits, then I would recommend that Selig and everyone involved with the decision be terminated immediately. Now that I think about it, lets just get rid of Selig now. The tests are back and he failed so why let him serve another three months.
So now we have word that Ryan Franklin has been caught with his hand in the performance enhancing drug cookie jar. I wonder when the league received his test results. The bet here is they came in this morning and Franklin got a call from the mailroom shortly thereafter. Just imagine how shitty Franklin would have been without the juice. This guy is 6-11 with an ERA of 4.61 while sticking needles in his ass. You take the juice away and you may have Eric Milton. So who got Franklin mixed up in this? Well, my guess is Brett “Balco” Boone had something to do with it.
Who would you rather have on your team over the next five years: Shaq or Derrick Jeter? Well, both will now cost you $100 million over the next five after Shaq signed a disgustingly huge extension this afternoon. Actually, Jeter is going to cost a bit more than Shaq (5-6M) but when you get to nine figures - who’s counting. I guess the Heat must love their team as currently constituted because this extension will most likely hamstring this club as Shaq’s health and skills continue to erode. Its got to be now or never for the heat. Hey, don’t get me wrong. I love Shaq. He is still the most dominant player in the NBA when he is healthy. But his health has been slipping and the bet here is the final few years on that contract will not be too pretty. However, regardless of his health, I would still take Shaq over Jeter, who three years from now will probably be no better than the fifth or sixth best shortstop in the American League. In fact, three years from now, Jeter will probably still make more than Johnny Peralta, Bobby Crosby, Aaron Hill, Brandon Wood (Angels) and Hanley Ramirez (Red Sox) make combined.
Anyone catch Steven Smith’s new show on ESPN last night? What a surprise – Smith’s first guest was an angry black man named Alan Iverson. That is like Dave Duke getting a show and having his first guest be John Rocker. Hey Steve, what is the guest list going to look like after you have Iverson, Isiah and Kobe sit on the couch? The bet here is after those three appear; Smith will be relegated to guests like Stuart Scott, Steven A. Marbury and Steve A. Smith – the wide receiver for the Panthers. I am now taking bets on who will be the first white guest to appear with Smith. My money is on Lynn Swann.
Would you rather bang Kristin from MTV’s Laguna Beach or Brynn Cameron, point guard for the USC woman’s hoop team (http://usctrojans.collegesports.com/sports/w-baskbl/mtt/cameron_brynn00.html)? That is the question that faced USC quarterback Matt Leinart earlier this year, although you couldn’t have gathered that from watching the show (Laguna Beach) because the Heisman Trophy winner has not been seen or mentioned during the new season. While there have been veiled references to a boyfriend at USC, Leinart apparently got MTV to agree to keep his mug and name out of the show. And why is this? Did Matt feel that some NFL team might think twice about making him the number one pick in next April’s NFL draft because he cheated on his girlfriend (Brynn) while he was at USC? Was he concerned that Brynn might find out about his relationship with Kristin? Was he hoping to keep it all quiet? And why does Kristin refer to Matt as her boyfriend when he was dating someone else? And how do I know he was dating someone else? Well, in a recent ESPN mag article, Matt said he and Brynn have been dating since early in the basketball season and this dates back to before the taping of the show. Hmmmmmm. I think it is clear that from the evidence I have seen that this past winter, Matt had at least two girls running deep for his post. If this doesn’t register with you, it is time for you start watching the fucking show, because the girls on the
program blow away those USC cheerleaders that everyone East of the Mississippi seem to love.
It took a few weeks, but we now have a winner in the NBA’s annual competition to determine its most pathetic and intellectually challenged franchise. The votes are in and it was close but Atlanta, by virtue of this move to acquire Joe Johnson for $70 million, is our 2005 winner. What in god’s name are the Atlanta Hawks doing giving Joe Johnson a $20 million dollar bonus and ten million per year over the next five years? Message to Atlanta – this is not Earvin, Marques or even Dennis. It is Joe Johnson – a glorified role player who greatly benefited from playing alongside the NBA’s most recent MVP award winner Steve Nash .I still cannot believe this move. The Hawks have been marshalling resources for two years to make a high priced acquisition and all they could come up with is Joe Johnson? This has got to be the worst decision made in Georgia since the introduction of New Coke in 1985. Check that, sending Newter to Washington trumps Coke’s decision by a whisker. The Hawks have now blown their wad on a roster where the four most talented players – Johnson, Marvin Williams, Josh Smith and Al Harrington – all basically play the same position. I guess one could argue that nobody in the league has more depth at small forward than the Hawks, but who in the world is going to pass and rebound on this team? But at the end of the day, should this come as a surprise. The Hawks have been a woeful franchise since Nique lost that playoff shootout to Bird in 88 and this is just another chapter in a real sad and tragic book. To illustrate just how bad this move is, one must consider that Milwaukee had two major brain seizures this Summer – signing Bobby Simmons for 50 mil and Dan Gadzuric for 30 plus – and they still couldn’t take this year’s incompetence award. It just goes to show, when you are going up against Atlanta in the area of incompetence, you got to bring your whole game.
There is now talk in the media that MLB has known about Rafael Palmeiro’s guilt for the past three months, but sat on the news while it was confirmed and Raf had an opportunity to present his side of the case. If this is true, baseball is in for a world of shit. I don’t recall MLB sitting on Juan Rincon’s result for three months. Alex Sanchez? They probably sent out that suspension with the daily mail on the day they got it came back from the lab. Why in god’s name was MLB protecting this clown? And more importantly, did they compromise the integrity of the testing program and the game itself by sitting on this information. You bet your ass they did. If a player can play for three months after testing positive, then the program’s enforcement regime is a certifiable joke. It’s tantamount to letting a runner compete in the Olympics after he tested positive at the Olympic Trials. There is no way the IOC would let that happen and it is stupefying that baseball finds it permissible. And what about Bud’s statement back in the spring that he would be announcing test failures the moment he had names in hand? Bud has some explaining to do if he had this particular name in hand back in April. If it ever comes out that the league sat on this while Palmeiro stalked 3000 hits, then I would recommend that Selig and everyone involved with the decision be terminated immediately. Now that I think about it, lets just get rid of Selig now. The tests are back and he failed so why let him serve another three months.
So now we have word that Ryan Franklin has been caught with his hand in the performance enhancing drug cookie jar. I wonder when the league received his test results. The bet here is they came in this morning and Franklin got a call from the mailroom shortly thereafter. Just imagine how shitty Franklin would have been without the juice. This guy is 6-11 with an ERA of 4.61 while sticking needles in his ass. You take the juice away and you may have Eric Milton. So who got Franklin mixed up in this? Well, my guess is Brett “Balco” Boone had something to do with it.
Who would you rather have on your team over the next five years: Shaq or Derrick Jeter? Well, both will now cost you $100 million over the next five after Shaq signed a disgustingly huge extension this afternoon. Actually, Jeter is going to cost a bit more than Shaq (5-6M) but when you get to nine figures - who’s counting. I guess the Heat must love their team as currently constituted because this extension will most likely hamstring this club as Shaq’s health and skills continue to erode. Its got to be now or never for the heat. Hey, don’t get me wrong. I love Shaq. He is still the most dominant player in the NBA when he is healthy. But his health has been slipping and the bet here is the final few years on that contract will not be too pretty. However, regardless of his health, I would still take Shaq over Jeter, who three years from now will probably be no better than the fifth or sixth best shortstop in the American League. In fact, three years from now, Jeter will probably still make more than Johnny Peralta, Bobby Crosby, Aaron Hill, Brandon Wood (Angels) and Hanley Ramirez (Red Sox) make combined.
Anyone catch Steven Smith’s new show on ESPN last night? What a surprise – Smith’s first guest was an angry black man named Alan Iverson. That is like Dave Duke getting a show and having his first guest be John Rocker. Hey Steve, what is the guest list going to look like after you have Iverson, Isiah and Kobe sit on the couch? The bet here is after those three appear; Smith will be relegated to guests like Stuart Scott, Steven A. Marbury and Steve A. Smith – the wide receiver for the Panthers. I am now taking bets on who will be the first white guest to appear with Smith. My money is on Lynn Swann.
Would you rather bang Kristin from MTV’s Laguna Beach or Brynn Cameron, point guard for the USC woman’s hoop team (http://usctrojans.collegesports.com/sports/w-baskbl/mtt/cameron_brynn00.html)? That is the question that faced USC quarterback Matt Leinart earlier this year, although you couldn’t have gathered that from watching the show (Laguna Beach) because the Heisman Trophy winner has not been seen or mentioned during the new season. While there have been veiled references to a boyfriend at USC, Leinart apparently got MTV to agree to keep his mug and name out of the show. And why is this? Did Matt feel that some NFL team might think twice about making him the number one pick in next April’s NFL draft because he cheated on his girlfriend (Brynn) while he was at USC? Was he concerned that Brynn might find out about his relationship with Kristin? Was he hoping to keep it all quiet? And why does Kristin refer to Matt as her boyfriend when he was dating someone else? And how do I know he was dating someone else? Well, in a recent ESPN mag article, Matt said he and Brynn have been dating since early in the basketball season and this dates back to before the taping of the show. Hmmmmmm. I think it is clear that from the evidence I have seen that this past winter, Matt had at least two girls running deep for his post. If this doesn’t register with you, it is time for you start watching the fucking show, because the girls on the
program blow away those USC cheerleaders that everyone East of the Mississippi seem to love.
It took a few weeks, but we now have a winner in the NBA’s annual competition to determine its most pathetic and intellectually challenged franchise. The votes are in and it was close but Atlanta, by virtue of this move to acquire Joe Johnson for $70 million, is our 2005 winner. What in god’s name are the Atlanta Hawks doing giving Joe Johnson a $20 million dollar bonus and ten million per year over the next five years? Message to Atlanta – this is not Earvin, Marques or even Dennis. It is Joe Johnson – a glorified role player who greatly benefited from playing alongside the NBA’s most recent MVP award winner Steve Nash .I still cannot believe this move. The Hawks have been marshalling resources for two years to make a high priced acquisition and all they could come up with is Joe Johnson? This has got to be the worst decision made in Georgia since the introduction of New Coke in 1985. Check that, sending Newter to Washington trumps Coke’s decision by a whisker. The Hawks have now blown their wad on a roster where the four most talented players – Johnson, Marvin Williams, Josh Smith and Al Harrington – all basically play the same position. I guess one could argue that nobody in the league has more depth at small forward than the Hawks, but who in the world is going to pass and rebound on this team? But at the end of the day, should this come as a surprise. The Hawks have been a woeful franchise since Nique lost that playoff shootout to Bird in 88 and this is just another chapter in a real sad and tragic book. To illustrate just how bad this move is, one must consider that Milwaukee had two major brain seizures this Summer – signing Bobby Simmons for 50 mil and Dan Gadzuric for 30 plus – and they still couldn’t take this year’s incompetence award. It just goes to show, when you are going up against Atlanta in the area of incompetence, you got to bring your whole game.
Monday, August 01, 2005
August 1 - Palmeiro is Positively a Putz
These are now some of the most significant words ever spoken in the world of baseball: “I have never knowingly taken steroids.” That was the testimony of Rafael Palmeiro back in March when he testified in front of a congressional hearing. So here is Palmeiro’s new defense – he is now saying that he never “intentionally” took steroids and he has no idea how his test came back positive. Would someone please tell Mr. Amnesia that there is a strong correlation between positive tests and sticking juice filled needles into your ass. Now I am not sure whether Palmeiro faces a contempt or perjury charge, but his penalty in the court of opinion certainly will be severe. From this point forward, Palmeiro will forever be the guy known as a liar, an idiot and a chronic steroid abuser. Case Closed! I suspect some of his defenders will still give him their vote when his name is called for the Hall of Fame, but I am not so sure he remains a lock for induction. Not anymore. Not after this. Had he just been fingered through a test then perhaps the damage would not be so bad. But this guy went up in front of Congress and started waving his finger. Once you wave the finger, all bets are off. Case in point – the only reason why OJ didn't go to jail was he didn't wave that finger while he was trying on that glove. So while Palmeiro’s stock is in a free fall, the guy who benefits from all this is Jose Canseco since he was the one who fingered Palmeiro early in the year. There were legions of pundits who killed the messenger in this case, but this development certainly lends credibility to Jose’s original accusations. First he scored with his call on Palmeiro and now he is banging Janice Dickinson on the Surreal Life. That is two pretty big hits in one year for Jose. It may not be a 40-40 year, but it’s a better year than Raf ever had sans juice.
When I heard that the oldest living guy to have played major league basebal died at the age of 100 my first thought was: Bobby Cox is sure going to miss Julio Franco.
The kid who played Kumar in the movie Harold and Kumar go to White Castle should have won an oscar last year. It is a joke that comedies written for late teens (and myself) don't get more attention at oscar time. For my money, you can't go wrong watching an Indian slacker get high, but Kumar took it to another level in White Castle. I am giving H&K an A minus and perhaps even an A for those of you who aren't subject to drug testing.
The only thing more overated than Steve Finley is the movie Wedding Crashers, a movie that some are throwing into rareified air. Like Finley, Wedding Crashers is presentable, but also like Finley, it flails far too much to be considered elite. There are some solid scenes in WC, but on balance, far too many laughs come up short. Neither Vince Vaughan or Owen Wilson had great games, and while Will Ferrell came in and threw one solid inning out of the pen, he folded late. I'll be generous and give it a B minus.
Yesterday, we had a surreal and perhaps historic moment at Fenway Park when Manny Ramirez came off the bench to deliver a game winning hit just days after he had hit new lows with the population of Red Sox nation. Manram was absolutely excoriated on Thursday and Friday, but that was all forgotten the moment he climbed out of that dugout at 4:45 yesterday afternoon. For those of you who didn’t see it, the Fenway faithful went absolutely crazy when Manny emerged and the noise kept building right up to the time he knocked out a game winner. The Stones are playing Fenway this month and it is unlikely that the place will be as loud during Start Me Up as it was yesterday when Ramirez rounded first and pointed to his teamates in the dugout. Most importantly for the Sox and Manny is the fact that yesterday served as an opportunity for Ramirez to get right with the fans. Had he not come up to bat and not got that hit, it is very likely that some residual animosity between Manram and Red Sox nation would have lingered. Just think, if the Sox had lost 5-2 yesterday and Kevin Millar had stranded seven, WEEI would be fielding anti-Manram calls until the mid-term congressional elections. But judging from the immediate post-hit reaction and a survey of the Boston message boards and airwaves, Manny is back in good standing. So not only did the Sox keep Manny’s irreplaceable bat this weekend, but they probably also avoided their worst fear – a Ramirez who feels unloved and unwanted.
I can’t comment on the entire history of Fenway Park, but I am ready to go “Knee Jerk” and label Manram’s hit yesterday as one of the top-10 moments in Fenway history since I became a fan in 1975. Here are my top-10 in chronological order: 1) Fisk’s Home Run in Game Six of the 1975 World Series 2) Yaz’s retirement day in 1983 3) Rocket strikes out 20th Mariner 4) Brunansky’s catch to clinch 1990 American League East flag 5) Trot’s walkoff to win Game Three of the 2003 ALDS 6) Ortiz doubles off Foulke to win Game Four of 2003 ALDS 7) Ortiz walk-off bomb to win Game Four of 2004 ALCS 8) Ortiz game ender to win Game Five of 2004 ALCS, 9) World Championship Ring Ceremony and 10) Manny repairs the burnt bridge. Narrow misses: Dave Roberts steal, Pedro throws some old man to the turf, Carl Everett goes psychotic, Billy Mueller launches a game winner off Rivera last Summer and Mike Mussina losses a perfect game with two outs in the ninth a few seasons back. Come to think of it, that may be number one.
When I heard that the oldest living guy to have played major league basebal died at the age of 100 my first thought was: Bobby Cox is sure going to miss Julio Franco.
The kid who played Kumar in the movie Harold and Kumar go to White Castle should have won an oscar last year. It is a joke that comedies written for late teens (and myself) don't get more attention at oscar time. For my money, you can't go wrong watching an Indian slacker get high, but Kumar took it to another level in White Castle. I am giving H&K an A minus and perhaps even an A for those of you who aren't subject to drug testing.
The only thing more overated than Steve Finley is the movie Wedding Crashers, a movie that some are throwing into rareified air. Like Finley, Wedding Crashers is presentable, but also like Finley, it flails far too much to be considered elite. There are some solid scenes in WC, but on balance, far too many laughs come up short. Neither Vince Vaughan or Owen Wilson had great games, and while Will Ferrell came in and threw one solid inning out of the pen, he folded late. I'll be generous and give it a B minus.
Yesterday, we had a surreal and perhaps historic moment at Fenway Park when Manny Ramirez came off the bench to deliver a game winning hit just days after he had hit new lows with the population of Red Sox nation. Manram was absolutely excoriated on Thursday and Friday, but that was all forgotten the moment he climbed out of that dugout at 4:45 yesterday afternoon. For those of you who didn’t see it, the Fenway faithful went absolutely crazy when Manny emerged and the noise kept building right up to the time he knocked out a game winner. The Stones are playing Fenway this month and it is unlikely that the place will be as loud during Start Me Up as it was yesterday when Ramirez rounded first and pointed to his teamates in the dugout. Most importantly for the Sox and Manny is the fact that yesterday served as an opportunity for Ramirez to get right with the fans. Had he not come up to bat and not got that hit, it is very likely that some residual animosity between Manram and Red Sox nation would have lingered. Just think, if the Sox had lost 5-2 yesterday and Kevin Millar had stranded seven, WEEI would be fielding anti-Manram calls until the mid-term congressional elections. But judging from the immediate post-hit reaction and a survey of the Boston message boards and airwaves, Manny is back in good standing. So not only did the Sox keep Manny’s irreplaceable bat this weekend, but they probably also avoided their worst fear – a Ramirez who feels unloved and unwanted.
I can’t comment on the entire history of Fenway Park, but I am ready to go “Knee Jerk” and label Manram’s hit yesterday as one of the top-10 moments in Fenway history since I became a fan in 1975. Here are my top-10 in chronological order: 1) Fisk’s Home Run in Game Six of the 1975 World Series 2) Yaz’s retirement day in 1983 3) Rocket strikes out 20th Mariner 4) Brunansky’s catch to clinch 1990 American League East flag 5) Trot’s walkoff to win Game Three of the 2003 ALDS 6) Ortiz doubles off Foulke to win Game Four of 2003 ALDS 7) Ortiz walk-off bomb to win Game Four of 2004 ALCS 8) Ortiz game ender to win Game Five of 2004 ALCS, 9) World Championship Ring Ceremony and 10) Manny repairs the burnt bridge. Narrow misses: Dave Roberts steal, Pedro throws some old man to the turf, Carl Everett goes psychotic, Billy Mueller launches a game winner off Rivera last Summer and Mike Mussina losses a perfect game with two outs in the ninth a few seasons back. Come to think of it, that may be number one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)