Tuesday, March 28, 2006

March 28 - Way to go Dad! Nice Shot!

Kudos go out this morning to my Dad who got off his ass and scored some nice tix to the Final Four this weekend. Although pressing 75, he saddled up like a giddy UCLA frosh, taking down travel and lodging before I had even begun scouring Expedia. Pops has had Bruin football and basketball ticks forever (football dates back to 82) and I guess this one wasn't going to pass him by without a look. I am now praying the Bruins win Saturday night because if the Bruins get knocked out, conversation could be a little thin come Monday afternoon. Thank god I got the Sox opener in Texas to kill that gap between lunch and gametime.

The Bruins are getting absolutely NO respect from the national media ahead of the Final Four and I love it. Yesterday on WFAN in New York, the Bruins were given no chance of taking two and this suits me just fine. The crux of the criticism is the Bruins play too ugly to win. Hey, I can’t really disagree with the first part of the premise, as I concede watching UCLA is about as tough as watching that new JL Dreyfus vehicle. That is a fact. But ugly offense didn’t stop the Ravens from winning a Super Bowl and it didn’t stop the Pistons from winning a NBA championship. The Bruins may lack style, but what they can do is lock-down their opponents and that could be a real headache for a team like LSU that also lacks elegance. If you don’t believe me, call Memphis 411 and get John Calipari’s number. Moreover, in case you haven’t watched LSU – here is their game plan. Clank jumpers and other errant runners and then go get it. True, Ty Thomas is an impressive athlete and Baby D is a load, but we aren’t talking Shaq and Chris Jackson. You keep Thomas off the rim and he becomes mediocre. You make Baby work and who knows what he becomes. Listen, I’m not sure Moute can keep Thomas off that glass but I know this for sure – Thomas won’t keep Moute off the glass on the other end. What I’m sure of is this is going to be an ugly game. It’s in a dome and neither team can shoot at home let alone in a cave. I say the team that shoots forty percent stands a pretty damn chance of winning.

Can the Red Sox and Devil Rays have a fight without a baseball game breaking out? I thought this was all supposed to end after Pedro split, but obviously I was mistaken. So the Sox bring in Julian Taverz and the first thing he does is blow his cool and belts Joey Gathright in the jaw during a meaningless spring training game. This guy is a certifiable nut job – always has been and I suspect the new scenery will only make things worse. Here my predictions on Taverez – I think he hits nine batters, gets tossed from three games, starts up with at least two teammates and goes after a fan outside a bar on Commonwealth. When it is all added up, Theo will be forced to put this guy on the market in July and pay some team to take this clown off Boston’s hands. Would somebody in the front office please keep Theo away from the middle relief signing line next off-season because he can’t help himself when it come to useless set-up guys.

Side note on the Red Sox-Rays – for some reason, Yankee fans like Fat Ass Farncesa, seem to think the Sox fighting rivalry is with them. NOT SO. When it comes to fighting, the big Sox rival is down in Tampa and has been since 2001 and the Pedro/Gerald Williams incident. Last year, it got ugly between these two teams at least twice down in Tampa, while the Sox-Yankees games resembled a game between choirboys. Of course, this could all change if the Yanks had some hurlers with balls, but that has never been a strong point of Mussina, and Carol can’t risk losing her back in a brawl. Here’s hoping Unit gets something going this year because I want the Sox to test drive Wily Mo and set him loose on whoever the Yanks want to sacrifice.

Tough day for former Republican power brokers. First, we see that Lyn Nofziger goes down and then Cap the Knife (Cap Weinberger) buys it. If I were Dave Stockman, I would take the afternoon off and steer clear of any industrial machinery.

Nice save by Jack last night. That was cutting it a bit close but what an assist from the new girl at station 6. Her dish on the gas pressure was instrumental is saving the Southland. By the way, do any Caltech engineering students look like that? Any? Ever? Shari, the gal in question, has got to be one of most flimsily cradfted character in show history. How bout that look and line after she was brushed? "He shouldn't have done that?" You know you got issues when Chloe thinks your a mess.

Mike Davis claimed Indiana was no place for either an outsider or a black so who do they go out and sign; a black outsider. I don’t have anything against Sampson and I think he has done a pretty good job at Oklahoma but given what Davis has said and what I think I know about Indiana, this seems like an odd hire. I don’t care what Hoosiers might say to the contrary – race matters in Bloomington. In that town, they don’t like cutters and they don’t like blacks. If that weren’t the case, Lavar Burton, and not the kid from Bad News Bears, would have been in Breaking Away. I am hoping Sampson can fix things at Indiana because I think college basketball is better off with a solid program down in Bloomington. Hey, I’ve had enough of Whiskey and Michigan State. Lets go back to the good old days where the Big-10 was about Michigan, Indiana and Ohio State. Ohio State is well on their way. Sampson will perhaps get Indiana straightened out. So that just leaves Michigan. Anyone see a moving sign outside of the Amaker’s home this morning?

How in the world can the NCAA Women’s Basketball Selection Committee justify an Eastern Regional final where number one duke has to play in Bridgeport against number 2 UCONN? Whatever happened to taking care of the top seeds? Did they not see this coming? How in the world can you send a one seed to play a game at what amounts to be the home gym of the number two seed? The Husky bitches sure caught a break on this one.

Monday, March 27, 2006

March 27 - "Mid-Major" - Lets Go to the Dictionary

For the past three weeks, we have been hearing a familiar refrain from this country’s basketball pundocracy and it is driving me crazy. Guys, would you stop claiming that a “mid-major” hasn’t made it to the Final Four since the tournament was expanded to 64 teams. That simply is not the case unless you consider the old Pacific Coast Athletic Association or the Atlantic-10 to be major conferences. Lest you forget, Vegas made the Final Four in 1987, 1990 and 1991 while Massachusetts made the Final Four in 1996. Sure, these were big teams, but they hailed from conferences that were clearly not major. Case in point - How is that Pacific is now called a “mid-major” because of its conference affiliation yet Vegas, who played in the same conference (precursor) is not? Folks, an etymologist will tell you that “mid-major” was conceived as a term to distinguish the power conferences from the others. That is it! As such, it is permissible to have great teams from “mid-major” conferences but for some reason, current pundits don’t understand that .My only explanation is that the term, as currently applied by guys like Nantz, only covers those teams that come from lesser conferences and were “invited” to the tourney as opposed to those that got automatic bids. Without such latitude, there simply is no way to claim that UNLV was not a mid-major. Sorry guys – just because a team is a monster during the regular season doesn’t mean the conference it plays in is anything other then sub-major. So while George Mason’s performance to date has been terrific, lets not go over-board and start claiming that no one from a smaller conference has ever done this before. The only difference is that in prior years, big fish from small ponds moved on while this year, we had a little fish from a small pond beat the number one team in the country. Sure, there is a difference, but at the end of the day, none of the fish we are talking about came from big lakes.

Here is a great line from Venerable Verne yesterday. After concluding with his partner that this tournament has been the “best ever,” Verne slapped this on the tape: “it has been a privilege to be a part of it.” That’s funny, I can’t recall seeing Verne out on the court, pacing the sidelines or selecting the teams. Message to Verne: you are an announcer, which is only one very small step above viewer on the participation food chain.

That George Mason game was incredible yesterday and this comes from a guy who tries pretty hard to moderate his use of superlatives. I gotta admit – if it comes down to George Mason and UCLA next Monday, I will be a bit torn. I love this Mason team. They are feisty, balanced, gutty and now believe they can win. Who’s to say they can’t? Certainly not Jim Calhoun, who was surprisingly gracious after watching his incredibly over-hyped Huskies go down 36 hours later then they should have. Florida is dangerous but I think Mason actually has more skill then the Gators. Are you telling me that Yannick’s kid has more skill then Will Thomas? No fucking way. That tennis player can move, but in terms of basic ball skills, Thomas beats that Gator 6-2, 6-4. I actually like Mason in this game. I know most are now scurrying for position on the gator bandwagon, but I’ll play the contrarian for one more round.

UCLA set back basketball by fifty years on Saturday night. That wasn’t just ugly. It was downright disgusting and there are some who think Ben Howland should perhaps be tried under the Geneva Conventions. Basketball is supposed to flow and have at least some sense of rhythm but none of that was on display at the O-rena on Saturday night. Instead, we got some mugging, a whole lot of assault and a borderline rape. Hey, as a Bruin diehard, I’ll take it, but I will concede it lacked style points. My advice to Howland – hire an offensive coordinator in the off-season because it’s clear that you don’t have a clue how to design an offense that generates good shots. Having Jordan Farmar dribble out the clock and then rush a shot looks a lot more like a prayer than an offense to me. Farmar is simply not that kind of player and it’s BH’s fault for putting him consistently in positions that he can’t handle. He made just one shot on Saturday and that wasn’t much better then Thursday against Gonzaga. By the way, for those of you on the East Coast who don’t stay up late for UCLA Thursday night action, this is not the first time this season that the Bruins have struggled offensively. It’s been a grind all year, but hell, if the Ravens won without any offense, who’s to say this group of Bruins can’t do the same thing.

Where all those Big East megaphones? Eight teams in – Eight teams out! Two number ones – GONE! And instead, we have two teams from the SEC, one from the Little-10 and one from the Colonial – ain’t life grand? By the way, everyone is squawking about how great this tourney has been but no one is mentioning how the ratings are way off last year. WAY OFF! Its funny, when the Olympics turned up soft numbers, everyone said its because the product stinks but when everyone’s favorite doesn’t come through, the outcry is barely heard. One reason for the decline – the Big-10 had three teams in the final eight last year (Illinois, Wisky, Mich State) and none this year. It probably didn’t help that UNC and Kentucky, two followed teams, made the comparison to last year very difficult.

Who has worse teeth – Stephen Ames, who won this week’s TPC or Ed Bradley of CBS 60 Minutes? Ames should just knock those out and start from scratch while someone has to tell Ed he can’t go on the air without his fake bi-cuspid. It was a bit ironic that last night, you had Ed, who is missing a few key incisors, interviewing a guy who has more teeth than any human mouth can handle.

Jeff Bagwell now says his career might be over. That begs the question – is Jeff’s house the last stop on the Pony Express? The memo saying Bags was busted went out in 2004 so how come he is just getting the message now? Bags in the HOF? Very questionable, but if I had a vote, I would say no by a hair. JB had big power numbers while playing in a bad park for most of his career, but his Ks were high and most of his damage was done in this questionable era of elevated stats. 1994 is what makes it tough for me. Bags had a monster year going before the strike and that is a confounding factor. Regardless of whether he should go to Cooperstown, I sure wish Lou Gorman hadn’t traded Bags in 1990 for Larry Anderson.

New Rule – you trade can’t trade your 25th guy for the 25th guy on another baseball team. As such, if I were the commissioner of baseball, I wouldn’t let the Juan Cruz for Brad Halsey trade go through. Guys, why bother. Rule 5 is one thing, but lets do away with this other garbage. Why clutter the daily transaction wire with such pollution? Not even the desperate roto guys care about this crap. Curious enough, why is it that ESPN’s Buster Olney wasn’t out this morning with a long and detailed analysis of this blockbuster? Two possible reasons – 1) his mom died and he didn’t have the energy; 2) More likely, one team involved didn’t come from New England so there was no reason to lavish inordinate attention on the transaction. In case you couldn’t tell – Buster and I had words last week

So Alfonso Soriano is now a hero because he showed up and played left field? This kind of reminds me of that Chris Rock line where some fathers want kudos because they don’t beat their kids. Sorry Alfonso – you get nothing for showing up at work and doing what your manager says.

I have been struck over the past few days over how much affection Yankee fans still have for Alfie. ESPN was soliciting comments on this whole mess the other day and there were more then a handful of comments coming in from New York supporting Mr. Sensitive. Additionally, Buster Olney, whose Yankee credentials are impeccable, vigorously defended Soriano in a column last week, arguing the misunderstood two-bagger is a great guy who never should have been put in this spot. Lastly, a fair amount of the calls coming into WFAN over the past few days have been complimentary of Soriano as both a player and a person. Do we need to break down the numbers even further for this clan?