April 6 - Insights from Indy

The Holic is still recovering from three days on non-stop drinking in Indy but here are some thoughts on this past weekend at the Final Four:

It is indisputable – the Final Four is the greatest major sporting event to attend. Sorry NFL’ers – there is simply no comparison. The Super Bowl is for sponsors while the FF is for the kids and the fans. Sure, when they park the Super Bowl in a great city like New Orleans it can be a good ride, but when it comes to sheer excitement and festivity, nothing ranks up there with the Final Four. In fact, if I had to rank events to attend – and I have pretty much been to everything – I would put the FF on top followed by the Summer Olympics. After that, nothing is that appealing unless you have an iron in the fire. Full disclosure – I have never been to Augusta, game day at Notre Dame or Florida, or the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest. (Hot Dog contest is coming down this July and South Bend may come off the list when the Bruins head there in October). What makes the Final Four so great – well, you got chicks (both college-style and middle-aged FF whores), you got celebs, you got bands, and you get three games for the price of one. It also helps when the host is a town like Indy where all the hotels, bars and arena are located within a mile of one another. So fans out there – get on Expedia and start lining plans for next March. I know its in Atlanta, but even that sporting desert couldn’t mess up something that is so inherently good.

More thoughts on Indy:

Indy is the perfect spot to host this event and it should probably be named the permanent host, but lets make this clear – the Capitol of Indiana is an eye sore in the middle of Nowhere Ville. Unless you are a fan of coal-fired power plants, dilapidated houses and street punks roaming the streets late night, this is not a tourist destination. Now I was told I wasn’t exposed to the affluent northern suburbs, but from what I saw in my seventy-two hours, Indy is a Shit Hole – two parts shit, one part hole. If it were a chemical compound, its symbol would be S2H. The people were nice and the downtown was passable, spruced up by the fact that 35,000 fans were milling about, but this is not a city I would choose to adopt.

Celebrity sightings: Jim Calhoun, Roy Williams, Steve Alford, Bill Russell, Kareem, Bill Walton, Mike Warren (Hill Street Blues – UCLA), Lucious Allen, Ed O’Bannon, that autistic kid from upstate New York (2x), Jay Bilas, Rece Davis, Howie Schwab, Howard Garfinkel, Jim Harrick, Steve Lavin, Bill Frieder, Karl Dorrell, Damon Bailey.

Hooked up with a couple of gals on Sudnay night who meet each other once a year -- at the final four. As far as the Holic is concerned, that is pretty good stuff. Two gals whose priorities are above reproach. I am thinking about turning this lovely story into a near-X screenplay. How bout this as a story. A guy and gal have a great hook up at the 1997 Final Four and somehow they fail to accurately exchange info. Their only connection is that each knows the other attends the FF every year. With that said, they each attend every year in hopes of finding and rekindling that Wildcat love. Along the way, all sorts of wacky hijinx befall our duo. Ashley Judd was born to play the female lead. For the male - I am thinking about casting myself.

Points on the game: Florida obviously dominated the final, but lets tone down the comparisons between Joakim Noah and Pat Ewing. Look whom Noah was playing against on Monday night – Lorenzo Mata and Ryan Hollins aren’t quite James Worthy, Hakeem or Ed Pinkney. Had King James been out there sporting a Bruins jersey, I’ll bet my ass some of those blocks would have morphed into gator facials. Now I will be the first to admit that Noah dominated that game, but let’s calm down before we err and put this guy on the all-time FF team. From my seat, it looked like Corey Brewer was probably the best all-around gator on the floor this weekend.

Pet Peeve – fans of teams playing for championships talking about next year and dynasties instead of the game at hand. I heard a lot of talk Monday from UCLA fans talking about 2007 when the Bruins were still alive to win in 2006. Jesus Christ – a national championship is just forty minutes away and all people could talk about was next year. What is wrong with these people? Folks – we watch sports for the moment – not the future. Is this about people taking comfort in a secure future rather then focusing on the possibility of near-term disappointment? Whatever it is – I find it repulsive. And when I hear it, I know I’m talking to a phony and its time to move on.


Lets get into some baseball:

As I wrote to some friends last night – has a closer ever been replaced after throwing just fourteen pitches? In case you missed it, that is what happened in Texas last night when Keith Foulke was supplanted by Jon Pappelbon as the closer of the Red Sox. This came after Foulke got cooked on Monday afternoon while throwing fourteen pitches in semi-mop duty. I saw this coming all off-season, but I was surprised it happened before Manager Terry Francona let Foulke cost the Sox five games. By truncating the process, I think the Sox probably went from a 90 win team to a 94 win team – that is the difference between letting Foulke pitch until Memorial Day and sitting him down on day three. So this is the sox strategy – Let Paps close until Craig Hansen is ready to don his Huston Street costume in two months (Hansen threw 12 scoreless this Spring but was sent down to work on his change). Judging from how Paps took care of business last night, the Sox bullpen is already in much better shape then it was 365 days ago. With Beckett and Schilling looking strong in their first starts, I have no choice but to upgrade Boston from under-perform to neutral.

I didn’t get a chance to write this at the time the news broke, but here is my Gary Sheffield thesis: Sheff was angling for the Yanks to pick up that option early this Spring because he knew his name was going to be front and center when this book on steroids came out. Most assume that Sheff is a model of consistency, but check out his numbers over the past three years. 2004 was clearly inferior to 2003 and 2005 was marginally worse then 2004. Now, with his name squarely in the steroid bin, Sheff knows he will not get a free pass to that option. He will have to put up a year to earn that money and that may not be so easy without the help of a weekly ass shot. What Sheff has going for him is that even if his numbers continue to trend down in 2006, the Yanks will probably overpay him by $4 million rather then go with a non-name in right come 2007.

Wow – tough loss for the Yanks last night. The Yanks sure look good on paper with all that offense, but they may have the worst defense in all of baseball. With that right side and absolutely nothing at any outfield spot, the Yanks will have to offset a whole lot of unearned runs. They may have picked up fifty runs in the off-season with JD, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this team gives thirty of those runs back with poor defense.