August 1 - Palmeiro is Positively a Putz

These are now some of the most significant words ever spoken in the world of baseball: “I have never knowingly taken steroids.” That was the testimony of Rafael Palmeiro back in March when he testified in front of a congressional hearing. So here is Palmeiro’s new defense – he is now saying that he never “intentionally” took steroids and he has no idea how his test came back positive. Would someone please tell Mr. Amnesia that there is a strong correlation between positive tests and sticking juice filled needles into your ass. Now I am not sure whether Palmeiro faces a contempt or perjury charge, but his penalty in the court of opinion certainly will be severe. From this point forward, Palmeiro will forever be the guy known as a liar, an idiot and a chronic steroid abuser. Case Closed! I suspect some of his defenders will still give him their vote when his name is called for the Hall of Fame, but I am not so sure he remains a lock for induction. Not anymore. Not after this. Had he just been fingered through a test then perhaps the damage would not be so bad. But this guy went up in front of Congress and started waving his finger. Once you wave the finger, all bets are off. Case in point – the only reason why OJ didn't go to jail was he didn't wave that finger while he was trying on that glove. So while Palmeiro’s stock is in a free fall, the guy who benefits from all this is Jose Canseco since he was the one who fingered Palmeiro early in the year. There were legions of pundits who killed the messenger in this case, but this development certainly lends credibility to Jose’s original accusations. First he scored with his call on Palmeiro and now he is banging Janice Dickinson on the Surreal Life. That is two pretty big hits in one year for Jose. It may not be a 40-40 year, but it’s a better year than Raf ever had sans juice.

When I heard that the oldest living guy to have played major league basebal died at the age of 100 my first thought was: Bobby Cox is sure going to miss Julio Franco.


The kid who played Kumar in the movie Harold and Kumar go to White Castle should have won an oscar last year. It is a joke that comedies written for late teens (and myself) don't get more attention at oscar time. For my money, you can't go wrong watching an Indian slacker get high, but Kumar took it to another level in White Castle. I am giving H&K an A minus and perhaps even an A for those of you who aren't subject to drug testing.

The only thing more overated than Steve Finley is the movie Wedding Crashers, a movie that some are throwing into rareified air. Like Finley, Wedding Crashers is presentable, but also like Finley, it flails far too much to be considered elite. There are some solid scenes in WC, but on balance, far too many laughs come up short. Neither Vince Vaughan or Owen Wilson had great games, and while Will Ferrell came in and threw one solid inning out of the pen, he folded late. I'll be generous and give it a B minus.


Yesterday, we had a surreal and perhaps historic moment at Fenway Park when Manny Ramirez came off the bench to deliver a game winning hit just days after he had hit new lows with the population of Red Sox nation. Manram was absolutely excoriated on Thursday and Friday, but that was all forgotten the moment he climbed out of that dugout at 4:45 yesterday afternoon. For those of you who didn’t see it, the Fenway faithful went absolutely crazy when Manny emerged and the noise kept building right up to the time he knocked out a game winner. The Stones are playing Fenway this month and it is unlikely that the place will be as loud during Start Me Up as it was yesterday when Ramirez rounded first and pointed to his teamates in the dugout. Most importantly for the Sox and Manny is the fact that yesterday served as an opportunity for Ramirez to get right with the fans. Had he not come up to bat and not got that hit, it is very likely that some residual animosity between Manram and Red Sox nation would have lingered. Just think, if the Sox had lost 5-2 yesterday and Kevin Millar had stranded seven, WEEI would be fielding anti-Manram calls until the mid-term congressional elections. But judging from the immediate post-hit reaction and a survey of the Boston message boards and airwaves, Manny is back in good standing. So not only did the Sox keep Manny’s irreplaceable bat this weekend, but they probably also avoided their worst fear – a Ramirez who feels unloved and unwanted.

I can’t comment on the entire history of Fenway Park, but I am ready to go “Knee Jerk” and label Manram’s hit yesterday as one of the top-10 moments in Fenway history since I became a fan in 1975. Here are my top-10 in chronological order: 1) Fisk’s Home Run in Game Six of the 1975 World Series 2) Yaz’s retirement day in 1983 3) Rocket strikes out 20th Mariner 4) Brunansky’s catch to clinch 1990 American League East flag 5) Trot’s walkoff to win Game Three of the 2003 ALDS 6) Ortiz doubles off Foulke to win Game Four of 2003 ALDS 7) Ortiz walk-off bomb to win Game Four of 2004 ALCS 8) Ortiz game ender to win Game Five of 2004 ALCS, 9) World Championship Ring Ceremony and 10) Manny repairs the burnt bridge. Narrow misses: Dave Roberts steal, Pedro throws some old man to the turf, Carl Everett goes psychotic, Billy Mueller launches a game winner off Rivera last Summer and Mike Mussina losses a perfect game with two outs in the ninth a few seasons back. Come to think of it, that may be number one.