Aug 2 - Palmeirogate

Just want to get this out of the way to begin – Its August, meaning its time to get it on! I have been a bit passive this baseball season, but Sunday’s game at Fenway got me jacked and ready for the stretch run. Cashorre’s punk ass bitches are going down!

There is now talk in the media that MLB has known about Rafael Palmeiro’s guilt for the past three months, but sat on the news while it was confirmed and Raf had an opportunity to present his side of the case. If this is true, baseball is in for a world of shit. I don’t recall MLB sitting on Juan Rincon’s result for three months. Alex Sanchez? They probably sent out that suspension with the daily mail on the day they got it came back from the lab. Why in god’s name was MLB protecting this clown? And more importantly, did they compromise the integrity of the testing program and the game itself by sitting on this information. You bet your ass they did. If a player can play for three months after testing positive, then the program’s enforcement regime is a certifiable joke. It’s tantamount to letting a runner compete in the Olympics after he tested positive at the Olympic Trials. There is no way the IOC would let that happen and it is stupefying that baseball finds it permissible. And what about Bud’s statement back in the spring that he would be announcing test failures the moment he had names in hand? Bud has some explaining to do if he had this particular name in hand back in April. If it ever comes out that the league sat on this while Palmeiro stalked 3000 hits, then I would recommend that Selig and everyone involved with the decision be terminated immediately. Now that I think about it, lets just get rid of Selig now. The tests are back and he failed so why let him serve another three months.

So now we have word that Ryan Franklin has been caught with his hand in the performance enhancing drug cookie jar. I wonder when the league received his test results. The bet here is they came in this morning and Franklin got a call from the mailroom shortly thereafter. Just imagine how shitty Franklin would have been without the juice. This guy is 6-11 with an ERA of 4.61 while sticking needles in his ass. You take the juice away and you may have Eric Milton. So who got Franklin mixed up in this? Well, my guess is Brett “Balco” Boone had something to do with it.

Who would you rather have on your team over the next five years: Shaq or Derrick Jeter? Well, both will now cost you $100 million over the next five after Shaq signed a disgustingly huge extension this afternoon. Actually, Jeter is going to cost a bit more than Shaq (5-6M) but when you get to nine figures - who’s counting. I guess the Heat must love their team as currently constituted because this extension will most likely hamstring this club as Shaq’s health and skills continue to erode. Its got to be now or never for the heat. Hey, don’t get me wrong. I love Shaq. He is still the most dominant player in the NBA when he is healthy. But his health has been slipping and the bet here is the final few years on that contract will not be too pretty. However, regardless of his health, I would still take Shaq over Jeter, who three years from now will probably be no better than the fifth or sixth best shortstop in the American League. In fact, three years from now, Jeter will probably still make more than Johnny Peralta, Bobby Crosby, Aaron Hill, Brandon Wood (Angels) and Hanley Ramirez (Red Sox) make combined.

Anyone catch Steven Smith’s new show on ESPN last night? What a surprise – Smith’s first guest was an angry black man named Alan Iverson. That is like Dave Duke getting a show and having his first guest be John Rocker. Hey Steve, what is the guest list going to look like after you have Iverson, Isiah and Kobe sit on the couch? The bet here is after those three appear; Smith will be relegated to guests like Stuart Scott, Steven A. Marbury and Steve A. Smith – the wide receiver for the Panthers. I am now taking bets on who will be the first white guest to appear with Smith. My money is on Lynn Swann.

Would you rather bang Kristin from MTV’s Laguna Beach or Brynn Cameron, point guard for the USC woman’s hoop team (http://usctrojans.collegesports.com/sports/w-baskbl/mtt/cameron_brynn00.html)? That is the question that faced USC quarterback Matt Leinart earlier this year, although you couldn’t have gathered that from watching the show (Laguna Beach) because the Heisman Trophy winner has not been seen or mentioned during the new season. While there have been veiled references to a boyfriend at USC, Leinart apparently got MTV to agree to keep his mug and name out of the show. And why is this? Did Matt feel that some NFL team might think twice about making him the number one pick in next April’s NFL draft because he cheated on his girlfriend (Brynn) while he was at USC? Was he concerned that Brynn might find out about his relationship with Kristin? Was he hoping to keep it all quiet? And why does Kristin refer to Matt as her boyfriend when he was dating someone else? And how do I know he was dating someone else? Well, in a recent ESPN mag article, Matt said he and Brynn have been dating since early in the basketball season and this dates back to before the taping of the show. Hmmmmmm. I think it is clear that from the evidence I have seen that this past winter, Matt had at least two girls running deep for his post. If this doesn’t register with you, it is time for you start watching the fucking show, because the girls on the
program blow away those USC cheerleaders that everyone East of the Mississippi seem to love.

It took a few weeks, but we now have a winner in the NBA’s annual competition to determine its most pathetic and intellectually challenged franchise. The votes are in and it was close but Atlanta, by virtue of this move to acquire Joe Johnson for $70 million, is our 2005 winner. What in god’s name are the Atlanta Hawks doing giving Joe Johnson a $20 million dollar bonus and ten million per year over the next five years? Message to Atlanta – this is not Earvin, Marques or even Dennis. It is Joe Johnson – a glorified role player who greatly benefited from playing alongside the NBA’s most recent MVP award winner Steve Nash .I still cannot believe this move. The Hawks have been marshalling resources for two years to make a high priced acquisition and all they could come up with is Joe Johnson? This has got to be the worst decision made in Georgia since the introduction of New Coke in 1985. Check that, sending Newter to Washington trumps Coke’s decision by a whisker. The Hawks have now blown their wad on a roster where the four most talented players – Johnson, Marvin Williams, Josh Smith and Al Harrington – all basically play the same position. I guess one could argue that nobody in the league has more depth at small forward than the Hawks, but who in the world is going to pass and rebound on this team? But at the end of the day, should this come as a surprise. The Hawks have been a woeful franchise since Nique lost that playoff shootout to Bird in 88 and this is just another chapter in a real sad and tragic book. To illustrate just how bad this move is, one must consider that Milwaukee had two major brain seizures this Summer – signing Bobby Simmons for 50 mil and Dan Gadzuric for 30 plus – and they still couldn’t take this year’s incompetence award. It just goes to show, when you are going up against Atlanta in the area of incompetence, you got to bring your whole game.