April 14 - Wolves Owner Eats His Own

Congratulations are in order for Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor who gave the sports world a much needed infusion of “frankness’ yesterday. In case you missed it, Taylor came out and admitted he made a big mistake bringing Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell to Minnesota. Speaking of these moves, Wilson said “it was a poor decision on out part. Overall, it was just a failed experiment.” He then went to say that both are basically selfish and overpaid players who will not be in Minnesota for too much longer. Pinch me if I am dreaming, but did I just hear an owner throw some of his current players under the bus. It is about FUCKING time someone did this. I am tired of owners and front office personnel zipping it in the name of etiquette. I am tired of criticisms being shielded behind opaque and generic references. Most of all, I am tired of all the half-ass sugar-coating. As Lt. Caffey demanded in a Few Good Men, I WANT THE TRUTH! I want names and finally Wilson came out and gave me what I have long sought. It has become too easy for these guys to express their displeasure by simply firing a coach or trading a player. Seeing this is like watching a movie without the audio. The trouble is – I WANT THE SOUND. I love to see overpaid athletes embarrassed and that can only be done properly with the help of auditory narrative. Heck, some of these owners have fortunes invested in these teams and I am sure there are times when they want to throw their television sets through the windows of their luxury boxes. When that happens, I want to hear about it. If fans and pundits have a right to criticize non-performers, owners do as well and it was good to see Wilson exercise that right. It is hard to give an “owner of the year” award to Wilson given his team’s 9th place finish, but he is on my honorable mention list.

Baseball Observations – The D Train was cooking down in Florida yesterday, throwing a three hit shutout for the Fish. Who needs a bullpen when you keep getting complete game victories. Jim Thome whiffed three times yesterday, bringing his burgeoning total on the year to 13. With two good years, he has a shot at crossing 2000 next September. In case you care, thumper has more K’s than hits over his career. The Braves lost their third in a row as Atlanta hurler John Thompson proved last week’s win over the Mets was a bit fluky. On the other side of the field, the only thing in Washington that is off to a colder start then Chris Guzman (4-35) is the White House’s social security reform plan. Staying with the Nationals – Jose Guillen is burning up with five dongs in ten days. He must have slept with Mike Scioscia’s wife to get himself thrown out of Orange County so abruptly. Okay, so Kerry Wood was horrible and Prior was terrific. Is that a wash? The Cubs need both of these guys to stand out but one will have to do for now. Meanwhile, Nomar is off to a cool start (.171 and benched for the nightcap) and he looks peeved that he is playing for a paltry eight million. Was Melvin Mora a fluke in 2004? Mark Mulder got blasted yesterday, leading a friend of mine who happens to be a Cardinal fan to ask: “we traded Danny Haren for this guy?” I am not sure Mulder has won a game since my 35th birthday and that was on July 17th. The Twins don’t need Justin Morneau so long as minor league replacements like Terry Tiffee keep jacking two-run bombs. Jose Contreras sure found his control in Chicago as evidenced last night when he walked five in six and two-thirds. It is a sign of the apocalypse when both Bernie and Giambi hit home runs in the same game and when it happens in the same inning, you better seek shelter immediately. Did that viral infection spread to Terry Francona’s brain because there is no other explanation for why he left Curt Schilling in to pitch the sixth with a pitch count closing in on 100? Odalis Perez gave the Dodgers another strong start last night and that begs the question why nobody wanted this guy over the off-season. The Kaz Ishii trade is already a home run for the Mets after he blanked Houston over seven. Whatever he yields from here on out is Japanese gravy (soy and wasabi).

Do you remember the scene in the Bad News Bears where Tanner and Timmy Lupus are eating some burritos when Joey Turner and another Yankee come over and tease the Bears about an opening day debacle against the White Sox. Lupus ends up catching a hat full of ketchup and Tanner flips out and goes after Joey. In case you aren’t a huge BNB fan like myself, Tanner eventually succumbs to Turner and gets deposited in a trash can. If you don’t think that happens in real life, check out what happened in California the other day and unfortunately it didn’t end at the bottom of a trash can. In Antelope Valley, a thirteen year old kid was being teased after his team lost a game. But rather than fight back, as Tanner did, with a burrito mush to the face, he reached for a bat. It turned ugly from there as the kid ended up murdering the fifteen year-old who was teasing him. The suspect in this case happened to be the starting pitcher for the losing team. I don’t want to make light of this terrible tragedy, but I haven’t heard of a starting pitcher that pissed off since John Tudor smashed a clubhouse fan after he got rocked in the Game 7 of the 1985 World Series. Can you imagine if this type of scene had been written into the original Bad News Bears? Just imagine Amanda reaching for a Louisville Slugger and going after Roy Turner moments after Kelly Leak was thrown out at the plate, ending the Bears brave rally in the bottom of the sixth. In this case, its too bad life didn’t imitate the movies because if it had, a senseless murder could have been avoided.

As next Friday’s deadline for entry into the NBA approaches, all eyes are on North Carolina where the defending champions could be devastated by early entry. Just this week, Rashad McCants said he would be leaving early and there is concern in Chapel Hill that Sean May, Marvin Williams and Ray Felton will follow. Losing McCants was no big deal since he was a problem child, but the same cannot be said for the other three. May has said he wants to return, but after being named MVP of the tourney, I think Doughboy will split. This will obviously hurt the Heels in the season ahead since there is no one in college basketball who can guard May. Marvin’s case is a bit harder to predict. Everyone loves this kid’s talent, but his performance on the court has been anything but spectacular so far. If Williams goes, he will be selected high just because of his raw talent but most observers, including myself, think he needs more seasoning. I would say he is less then 50/50 to go. As for Felton, I am sure he thinks he is ready for the pros, but I am not sure the league feels the same way. He is super quick, but he is small and not that bright on the floor. If he decides to leave, I doubt he will be picked in the top half of the first round, or the entire first round for that matter. With that said, I think Ray could be persuaded to stay. So if I had to summarize, I would say May is probably a goner, Williams stays and Felton is likely to stay, although that last one is a bit murky. Given a scenario where May is the only defection, UNC will still be a top-10 team next season. If Felton splits as well, the Heels fall towards the bottom of the top-20. And if all three bolt, UNC is going to need a miracle to avoid becoming the first team since the 1987 Louisville Cardinals to miss out on the tourney the year after they won the national championship Conversely, if each stays, the Heels will open next season as the number one team in the country.


Well, that does it; Mike Davis just lost his job at Indiana even though the paperwork won’t be dry for another eleven months. I say this because just yesterday, Indiana junior Bracey Wright said he will sign with an agent and make himself available for the NBA draft. Wright was always a gunner for the Hoosiers, but he did lead the Big-10 in scoring a year ago and his departure leaves Indiana in a bit of a bind. The Hoosiers do have talented sophomores D.J. White and Robert Vaden coming back but it is asking a lot for these two to pick up Wright’s scoring load. After all, Bracey was an eighteen point scorer who had plenty of range. Wright’s defection puts Davis behind the eight ball since people in Bloomington this year were calling for his head before he ran off some late season victories. His Hoosiers have missed the last two NCAA tournaments and the bet here is the folks at IU will not be smiling if Davis pulls off a hat trick. With no high-profile recruits on their way, Mike’s fate now rests in the hands of White who was terrific as a frosh but will need to take his game up two notches if IU is to finish near the top of the Big-10. Anything short of that and Davis will be listing his home next spring.

Some of these early defection announcements have the potential to greatly upend college basketball next year. Perhaps the most surprising news thus far came out of Lexington where Kalenna Azubuike said he will sing an agent and enter the NBA draft. This is a big blow to the Cats who many had penciled in near the top of next season’s pre-season rankings. Azubuike is hardly a star, but his loss, coupled with the departure of Chuck Hayes, robs Kentucky of two proven scorers. And just in case you didn’t watch too much Kentucky basketball this year, offense was already in short supply in Lexington. Another announcement that startled me came out of Gainesville where Matt Walsh says he is ready to take the plunge. Walsh always looked like a stoner and now it is confirmed since this decision could only have been made after Matt took several bong hits. Someone should tell Matt before it is too late that the chicks are much better on the campus of Florida then they are in National Basketball Development League towns like Ashville, Huntsville and Roanoke. The other big early defection notice comes to us from Winston Salem where Chris Paul has decided to bag college for an opportunity to play for the Hawks or the Bobcats. This was somewhat expected, but it should be noted that it takes Wake from a pre-season top-5 team to something closer to number twenty. Had Paul returned, he and Justin Grey would have given Wake the best backcourt in the country, but without the speedy Paul, the Deacons are a bit thin at guard.