Aprill 8 - Vick Hits Elliot With the Gift That Keeps On Giving

Which is greater: The amount of touchdowns Michael Vick has thrown for the Atlanta Falcons or the number of girls he has infected with Herpes Simplex II? As was first reported on The Smoking Gun, a 26 year old woman named Sonya Elliot is suing Vick for hitting her in the flat with a giant case of herpes. Vick may be erratic with his arm, but this suit confirms that he sure knows how to use his other gun. Perhaps the funniest part of the story is that Elliot alleges that Vick has used an alias – Ron Mexico – when being tested and treated for his rather embarrassing disease. Ron Mexico? What kind of name is that? Aside from a handful of guys named Israel (Steve Israel went to Pitt) and former Bronco Larry Canada, who the hell is named after a country? It just doesn’t sound right to hear something like - Mr. Mexico, could you please pee in this cup. Hell, if I were Vick, I would have gone with a pseudonym closer to home like Peerless Price or Arthur Blank (Falcon owner). Another peculiar part of this story is that Mexico met Elliot in May of 2001, but didn’t start banging her until the end of 2002. What the hell is wrong with this guy? The only guy in sports who is slower to close the deal is AC Green, and he doesn’t count because he has committed himself to a life of celibacy. Jesus, Vick is fast as lightening on the field but he sure doesn’t move too quickly in the bedroom.