May 11 - Lebron Names Maverick as his Top Gun

Word out of Cleveland has it that LeBron James has fired his agent, Aaron Goodwin, and replaced him with a kid named Maverick Carter who used to play on LeBron’s high school basketball team. That is not a joke. James has fired a reputable Jewish agent and replaced him with a guy off his possy. This has to rank as one of the dumbest moves in the history of sports representation. I don’t know a ton about that business, but I know enough to say that when deals are being negotiated, you want a guy from the Tribe at the table and I ain’t talking about someone off the Cleveland Indians forty man roster. This one absolutely makes no sense to me. Goodwin was the guy who pulled ninety million out of Nike, twelve million out of Coke and some decent pocket change out of a handful of others. How can James complain with such largesse? After all, James is the fourth highest paid endorser in the world and he has never played in a playoff game – college or pro. I guess he could be pissed that some average English midfielder makes more then him, but that can be easily addressed with a car deal here and wireless deal there. So Goodwin is now gone and in comes James’ high school buddy and former teammate. Am I crazy, but doesn’t this sound an awful lot like HBO’s Entourage, where Vince (movie star) lets his boyhood friend Eric manage his career. Someone should tell James that Entourage is not based on a true story. This kind of stuff doesn’t happen in the real world. And when it does, the participants become punch lines in a stupid comedy. All I know is that when ESPN comes calling and wants me to write a daily column, I am not going to have my boys from Santa Monica - Javier or Thor - negotiate my deal. Well, I guess at this point, the ball is in Maverick’s court. But fear not – if he messes up, James can always go to Wolfman, Hollywood, Ice, Slider, Merlin or Viper. That was a softball that I couldn’t resist.

I would have loved to be in the room yesterday when Jason Giambi looked Brian Cashman in the eye and said “fuck you, I have been to Columbus and I am not going back.” Well, there you have it. The Yanks asked their $80 million headache to take a demotion and he responded by quoting Tanner and telling them to stick it where the Sun don’t shine. So the Yanks now face the prospect of either letting Giambolic rot at the end of their bench or giving him his outright release. The latter would cost them $80 million, less 300K per year if some other team were dumb enough to pick him up. The former costs them a roster spot and the constant reminder of what jackasses they were back in 2001. Well, it seems that Torre reluctantly has chosen to pursue the former and he is now saying that Giambi is his personal “project.” Sorry Joe, Giambi is not a project. Building a tree house is a project. Painting your house is a project. Restoring Giambi is more like a Herculian effort on par with cleaning the Hudson of PCBs or building a new subway line in Manhattan. Guys – this corpse is cold and ready for burial. I don't think I am really going out on th elimb when I say Jason Giambi will NEVER be a legit major league baseball player again. He simply cannot put the bat on the ball. I will give Peter Gammons credit for pointing out that Giambi has put the ball in play less then fifty percent of the time he has come up this season. That has never been done in baseball history. A hundred years and no one has ever done that. If you want a little more perspective on that number you should know that the eleven year old little leaguers stuck in right field (think Timmy Lupus from BNB) usually put the ball in play more then half the time. My only question is why are pundits like Gammons and Buster Olney pleading with Giambolic to accept a minor league assignment. Implicit in both their requests is a belief that this mess can be fixed. What are these guys watching? This horse didn’t just leave the barn. This horse bought a house in Montego Bay and is now flying there in a $80 million dollar plane that was purchased with Mr. Steinbrenner’s money. Just think how Steiny feels right now. This past weekend, his big horse crapped out and that will cost him millions in lost stud fees. And now he has to transfer funds to make sure his check to Giambolic doesn’t bounce. Just think, if Giambolic, Steve Karsay, Jaret Wright and Bernie all got together and pooled their severance checks, they could probably buy the Devil Rays.

There is one additional thing to mention on the Giambi front. What are these guys on YES talking about when they refer to Jason as some kind of profile in courage? Last night, Jim Kaat made Giambolic out as some kind of hero for disclosing his drug use while the rest of these clowns in baseball have been hiding and lying. Sorry Kitty, Jason didn’t disclose anything voluntarily. He went before a Grand Jury and told the truth under the threat of perjury. That is not exactly a voluntary disclosure. The only reason we know about his testimony is someone in the U.S. Attorney’s office leaked his testimony to the San Francisco Chronicle. And since that time, Juice (sorry OJ) has said nothing to confirm or deny his past drug use. In fact, his cryptic apology earlier in this year was the stuff of cowardice and not courage. If JFK were alive and writing an addendum to his book today, it is safe to say Jason wouldn’t have his own chapter. However, Jason will most certainly get a chapter in Kaat’s Profile in Bullshit which is due out this June.

Notes from the NL: Things just keep getting worse for the Giants in what is quickly becoming a season of discontent in the Bay Area. Jason Schmidt, who was having a terrible year, was sent to the DL yesterday with a strained right shoulder. Does this guy ever stay healthy for an extended stint? With Schmidt on the DL, the Gyros are missing their cornerstone, their closer and their ace. That is the Hat Trick of Hate. Things are so bad in San Francisco right now that 63 year old Jeff Fassero was called on to make last night’s start against Pittsburgh. Fassero actually responded by giving up just a single hit over five, but the Bucs then got to the Giants horrible bullpen and notched a 5-2 win. Jason Bay, who is hitting .355 over the past week, had the big blast for the Bucs. Sorry Yankee fans, he won’t be unrestricted until after the next presidential election. The situation in Houston is getting downright critical as Jeff Bagwell went to the DL yesterday and the Assholes lost another. They got Lee Harvey throwing against the D-Train tonight and perhaps four against the ailing Gyros at Minute Maid may help Houston get well. The Assholes are 15th in the NL in both scoring a slugging. That is pretty sour considering they play in that little juice box. The Reds got a much needed win last night over the streaking Padres, although Ken Griffey’s 13 game hit streak came to a halt. Brian Giles had a couple more hits last night and he is now officially scorching hot.

The Brew Crew pounded Philadelphia last night and you have to wonder how many more times Philly manager Charlie Manuel is going to send Vincente Padilla out to the mound. The guy gets raped every time he goes out there and at some point the insanity must end. Lyle Overbay had a three run blast for the Milwaukee last night and he is now hitting .350 with seven Jacks and 24 RBI. Will the Brewers make this kid available this summer with Prince Fielder maturing at AAA Nashville? It may cost a lot but if the Brewers fall out of it in July, what about Overbay to Boston for Hanley Ramirez and another prospect. Greg Maddux actually struck out ten Mets last night. That isn’t going on the Mets year-end highlight film. Corey Patterson had two blasts for the Cubs and he now has eight home runs but only one double. Oh yea, he also has 28 whiffs and only six walks. This guy is on my all “feast or famine” team. Word has it that Kris Benson’s wife slept with Cliff Floyd after the game as punishment for Kris giving up six runs in six innings. The Dodgers came back from a 7-3 deficit at Busch last night by hanging up a half dozen in the Sixth. J.D. Drew, after basically going hitless during the first half of April, has quietly fought his way back to respectability. He has raised his batting average more then a hundred points since April 19th. Reggie Sanders smacked two more home runs for the Cards last night and now has nine on the season. Perhaps Billy Beane should have got this guy in the Mulder trade instead of Kiki Calero. Marcus Giles had four knocks last night for the streaking Braves who are just starting out on a brutal twelve game road trip that will take them to LA, San Diego and Boston after they leave Denver. Smoltz goes against BH Kim today in a game that looks on paper like one of the most lopsided of the year. How are the Braves only minus 180 in that one? This one looks so bad that Kim will probably shock the world and scalp the Bravos. The Dbacks were criticized for giving the oft-injured Troy Glaus all that money, but all he has done is smack ten home runs and drive in 27. Can you believe Carlos Baerga is only 36 years old and plays second base for the Nationals? I would have taken the over at 45 and guessed the former Indian was surfing the internet for teenage girls in Cleveland.

Airmail from the AL: So Tony Pena finally said enough is enough. What took so long? You put me in that dugout and I last no more then a dozen games. That situation is truly horrendous and I have no problems predicting that they will make a run at the 2003 Detroit Tigers, who lost 119 games and the 1962 Mets, who lost 120 games. Right now, they are on pace for a MLB record 121 losses. Last night, Roy Halladay took care of the Royals in a mere 1:44. Zach Greinke has actually pitched well for KC but he has nothing to show for it since he gets more support from his jock then his offense. Brad Radke wasn’t great last night, but the Twins were able to come back late and get a win at Baltimore. Radke has now walked one guy in fifty-six innings. How many walks would Jose Reyes draw if you gave him 500 cracks against this guy? Eric Beddard threw well for Baltimore last night and his left arm will go a long way towards determining whether Baltimore is for real. Everyone thinks Baltimore’s pitching will collapse, but there is some talent pitching in the Inner Harbor. Wang Chung picked up his first win for the Yanks last night as Constantino went yard again. If he keeps this up, he will be flipped with Matsui in the lineup. Tom Gordon pitched well again – when does he get his release? If Aaron Sele retired, what was he doing out on the mound fro Seattle last night? After watching Mariner Jeremy Reed - my AL ROY pick - over the past few days, I am ready to concede defeat. At 9:05 last night, I published a piece on http://backtofoulke.blogspot.com/ that called for the Sox to make a change at first base. Less then an hour later, Kevin Millar hit a walkoff two run shot to beat the A’s. I don’t care what Millar did last night – he still needs to go. Bronson Arroyo pitched his ass off AGAIN last night and there is little doubt he is the anchor of that staff right now. Johnny Damon had three more hits last night and he just may be the hottest player in the AL right now. If the A’s are going to trade Octavio Dotel, they should do it now before he blows anymore ninth inning leads. How about Dotel to the Mets for Mike Cameron and five million in cash?

Tampa kept nipping at the Yankees heels with a comeback win last night against the White Sox who have mysteriously lost two straight at the Trop. That vaunted White Sox bullpen was at fault last night although Jose Contreras really didn’t do his job either. If the Rays got to play New York and Chicago every night, they would be a contender. Chan Ho wasn’t great last night, but he kept the Rangers in a game they eventually won. I think Buck will take four runs over six innings every time out from Mr. Park. Pudge had a hell of game for Detroit, going 0-5 with two whiffs and stranding seven. I know Pudge is a Hall of Famer, but what is going on with that .288 OBP? The Angels actually scored some runs last night, including four off Indian ace C.C. Sabathia. Why does everyone think Anaheim’s lineup is stacked? If Finley keeps ths up, they got holes all over the place. I love OC, but he isn’t a huge threat and Chone Figgins and Darrin Erstad are not exactly Doug DeCinces and Wally Joyner. How about that 1986 reference?