May 2 - Selig Goes Deep off Fehr

Do you think Bud Selig will be receiving a holiday card from Don Fehr this year after the stunt Selig pulled this weekend? After months of singing Fehr’s song that the current MLB steroid testing program is sufficient, Selig went solo this weekend with new lyrics that are sure to ruffle Fehr’s pretty little feathers. In case you missed it, Selig torpedoed Fehr and the MLB Players Association by saying he is no longer content with a steroid policy that is tolerant of a half dozen indiscretions. Instead, Selig now wants a policy where it is three strikes and you are out of baseball for life. Under Selig’s proposal, strike one nets a 50 game suspension, strike two brings with it a 100 game suspension and strike three results in a lifetime ban. Christ, what took so damn long for Bud to see the light? If adopted, Bud's proposed enforcement regime would be amongst the toughest in sports and would finally establish a credible deterrent to steroid abuse in baseball. This commissioner has been too passive on steroid use for far too long, but he has now put a move on Donald Fehr and the Union that would make Bobby Fisher proud. It may not be checkmate, but we are at the point where Selig is set up well to deliver the winning stroke. After all, what can Fehr do at this point? Can he really fight a defensive battle where he maintains nothing should be done unless flaws in the current system are exposed? Neither the public or Congress wants to hear such garbage. Public and bi-Partisan political sentiment is clearly behind a stricter regime and Fehr is quickly running out of allies and options. So the way I see it, he can either sign off on Selig’s proposal or fight it by himself and risk the possibility that Congress will shove it down his throat. I think if he chooses the latter, he may buy some time, but make no mistake about it; Congress will act on this issue if management and labor do not adopt something close to Selig’s proposal. Bud is going to win this fight – the only question now is whether he wins it alone or whether he will have to share the purse with the folks in Washington.

Did anyone out there, other then my boy Slew, think the Seattle-Sacramento series was going to return to the Northwest with the Sonics holding a commanding 3-1 series lead? In fact, I am not even sure the optimistic Slew would have predicted such good fortune for SeaTac after watching the Sonics go down meekly to the Kings on Friday night. But just when most predicted that this series would become a best-of-three, Ray Allen came down from his spaceship and kicked the Kings in their royal testicles. According to all accounts, and I must rely on secondary info since the game started at 2:00 AM EST., Allen was freakish last night as he poured in 45 on 17 of 28 shooting. At one point, the SeaTac radio guy screamed out Allen is so dialed in that “he must be getting signals from other planets.” I am not sure what that really means, but I guess it implies that Allen was getting some help from his buddies on Uranus and Venus – two planets where the NBA can still muster some ratings. While Allen was torching the ARCO Arena, King guard Mike Bibby was doing his best this morning to provide aid and comfort as he shot a miserable 4-17 from the field. Bibby played well in games two and three, but his poor marksmanship in games one and four are a big reason why the Kings are on the ropes as this series moves back to Seattle. So will this series ever make it back to Sacramento? The bet here is it will not, unless Kings coach Rick Adelman can convince the league that Sonic thugs, Danny Fortson and Jerome James, should be suspended for manhandling his little Queens.

In other Western Conference action, the Spurs showed why they are still the team to beat out West by taking game three off the Noogies by a score of 86-78. The Noogies scored ten in the first three minutes so that means they put up a whopping 68 over the game’s final 45 minutes. The Nuggets are in some trouble if Carmelo Anthony can’t find a way to escape Bruce Bowen’s Camel Clutch because they don’t have a lot of other weapons. Meanwhile, down in Texas, the Mavs showed more heart then anyone thought they had while taking two off the Rockettes down in Houston. Jason Terry was the big man in game four, pouring in 32, while Dirk’s 28 paced the way in game three. Wasn’t it just a week ago that the whole country was jumping on the Rockets bandwagon? I may have been one of them but I’ll have to look through my records to see if I actually bought a ticket or just reserved a seat.

Notes from the National: Smoltz struggled but beat Suppan in a big rubber game at Turner Field, which is no small accomplishment given Soups success on the road. It is hard to imagine, but the Braves are 15-10 with the worst offense seen in Atlanta since Chris Miller was taking snaps for the Falcons. How is this for consistency - Atlanta is 14th in NL Slugging, 14th in NL hitting and 14th in NL runs scored. With so little offense, can you tell me why Bobby Cox doesn’t call on Mike Hampton (.357) to pinch hit for the Bravos? If you want to know where the Braves futility begins, start at the top with Furcal whose OBP is now .277. After losing two to Willis and Burnett, Philadelphia avoided the sweep by scoring five off Beckett on Sunday. Bobby Abreu had to big shot off Beckett while Thome sat out with lower back spasms. These guys are both making $13 million this year and neither is close to slugging .400. Dontrelle Willis moved to 5-0 with a win Saturday and he gets my NL Cy Young Award for April. The Giants bought themselves some time this weekend with a sweep over the Pirates and they have now won five in a row. The Gyros have feasted this year on the Rockies and Pirates as eight of their thirteen wins have come against these two charades. Fifty-three year old Moises Alou had the big game Sunday for the Giants who had no trouble getting to Oliver Perez. Maybe Pirate GM Dave Littlefield isn’t a complete idiot after all since he was the one who refused to panic and ink Perez to a long-term deal over the off-season. It took 22 games, but Ken Griffey finally went yard for Cinci in a Saturday loss to the Brew Crew. The Reds horrific pitching was on display yesterday as Brady Clark and Lyle Overbay collectively sprung for nine hits. Eric Milton goes for the Reds tonight in Busch and the bet here is he will throw his 11th and 12th gopher balls of the year. If he keeps it up, Milty has a shot of taking out Maris and baseball’s great steroid triumvirate. If the Reds get swept at St.Louis, they will have earned my six-pack award for losing six straight at stadiums named after beer companies. It’s too bad a trip to Colorado doesn’t wind up the road trip.

So the Assholes let Roger Clemens down once again on Friday night but came back to score seven on Saturday and nine on Sunday. In case you missed it, the Rocket actually gave up three runs in seven innings and that caused his ERA to swell all the way to 1.03. The Cubs on Sunday got another blast out of Derrick Lee who just happens to be my NL player of the Month. However, the news on the North side of Chicago isn’t all rosy as Mark Prior got hammered by the woeful Astros and it now looks as if Kerry Wood will have to be shut down. The DBacks avoided a sweep at Petco yesterday as Javier Vasquez had his third straight solid outing following three consecutive bowel movements. He has one more win right now then the big lefthander he was traded for. Has anyone noticed that the Dbacks have gone from worst to first in NL fielding this year? Craig Counsell and Royce Clayton aren’t much to look at with sticks in their hands, but they can catch the ball and turn two. The Dodgers took care of business by sweeping Colorado this weekend, although I am not entirely sure why Jim Tracy took Derrick Lowe out on Sunday after six innings and 80 pitches. Where all those Mets fans who were singing Doug Mientkiewicz praise early in the year? Sorry guys - the real Minky is the guy who is two for his last twenty-one. Washington hurler John Patterson has some pretty nasty stuff and unfortunately for Mr. Steinbrenner, he won’t be unrestricted for another three years. At some point, Willie Randolph has to have a word with Jose Reyes. This aggressiveness thing was endearing for awhile, but that .250 OBP for a leadoff hitter is about as cute as a rabid pit bull.

Airmail from the AL: Break out the Champagne – the Royals actually won consecutive games over the weekend. The wins came against Cleveland, which sure could use Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughan to stabilize its pen and Willie Mays Hayes to hit leadoff. While we’re at it, I’ll take Roger Dorn over Aaron Boone at third, but you can keep Pedro Ceranno and Jake Taylor. Things have gone from bad to ugly in Cleveland where rookie shortstop Johnny Peralta now leads AL shortstops in errors with six. Imagine the kind of damage he could do if he played every day. In New York, The Big Unit pitched well in a losing effort on Friday, but Carl Pavano and the bullpen got torched on Sunday. Pavano may pull it together, but that bullpen is in worse shape than Kirsty Alley. I hope some of you saw Bernie Williams try to throw out Eric Hinskie at the plate yesterday from very short center. It barley carried the mound and it is now clear to me and every third base coach in the AL that Olympic shot putters have more range then the Yanks unarmed centerfielder. The Jays decision last week to fire their hitting coach sure paid off for Alex Rios and Corey Koskie, but the same cannot be said for Vernon Wells who has been dead cold since Toronto switched things up. Baltimore swept Tampa this weekend and has now won eight straight. Miggy had four hits yesterday, including his ninth home run, but I am giving my AL player of the month to his teammate Brian Roberts. The Birds are only 2-2 against the Sox, but they are chewing up the rest of the AL East (15-2). Guess where they go next – three against Toronto and three against Kansas City. Tampa’s Dewon Brazelton continued to impress on the road where he is now 0-14 to begin his career. I guess he won’t be pitching for Holiday Inn anytime soon.

Boston took two of three down in their Texas graveyard this weekend as both Bronson Arroyo and Matt Clement moved to 3-0. Trot Nixon is starting to heat up for the Sox, but Keith Foulke is a huge question mark right now. That two run bomb he gave up in the ninth yesterday had to make Francona’s stomach churn. Staying with Boston, the Sox have signed John Olerud to a minor league deal. I guess they figure if Kevin Millar isn’t going to supply any power (zero dongs to date), then they aren’t losing anything by bringing in a contact hitter like Olerud. It is pretty clear to me that Millar’s days in Boston are numbered, although Olerud is probably not the solution. After watching Texas play all weekend, I have come to the conclusion that the Rangers can’t hit breaking balls and really struggle with runners on. The latter may correct itself, but the former is a real problem, especially for Soriano who can’t use youth as an excuse anymore. Somebody finally beat Johan Santana although it was hardly decisive. The Angels only got two hits off Santana over eight innings, but both were home runs and that was all Bartolo Colon needed. It may be cliché, but Santana gets my AL pitcher of the month award. Wait, on second thought, I am including action from yesterday and giving the award to White Sox hurler Jon Garland. Mr. Garland threw a four hit shutout yesterday against Detroit and is now 5-0 with an ERA of 1.38. That is enough to nudge by Santana in a photo finish. And finally, out in Oakland yesterday, Barry Zito got his first win and Eric Chavez pushed his average about .200 with a couple knocks. I say Chavez will take out .250 before Zito wins two more. That probably gives Chavez three weeks to find fifty points.

I read this weekend where Dr. Tom Osborne, former head football coach at the University of Nebraska, is planning on running for Governor of Nebraska. This shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise since Osborne has spent the last four years representing the Third District of Nebraska in the House of Representatives. But what I do find interesting is just how big a role football plays in politics in both Nebraska and Oklahoma. For instance, in Oklahoma, both former Sooner quarterback J.C. Watts and former Seahawk great Steve Largent have served in Congress. And Osborne is now doing the same up North in Nebraska. I suspect that Osborne stands a pretty good chance of winning the governorship, unless of course Barry Switzer moves to Nebraska and runs as a Democrat. He may lose votes as a carpetbagger, and I doubt he is a Democrat, but the one thing Switzer enjoys more then anything in the world is beating Osborne’s ass to a pulp. He did twelve times in seventeen years while he coached at Oklahoma and I suspect he would love to do it once again.