July 5 - Kobayashi Ace/Venus Double Faults

Who is the most dominant athlete in sport today? Annika? Federer? Tiger? Phelps? Lance? Bode? Josh the Newfoundland? These are all worthy contenders, but for my $1.50, I am going with Takeru Kobayashi – the undisputed hot dog eating champion of the world. Lest you missed it yesterday, Kobayashi once again dominated this year’s Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating contest out there at Coney Island, devouring 49 dogs in a dozen minutes. That equates to a hot dog every fifteen seconds. What is more amazing is that early in the contest, before fatigue set in, some of those dogs were going down every eight seconds. I am not sure a Kodiak could keep that kind of pace up for very long. This is Kobayashi’s fifth straight victory in what is certainly the most prestigious event on the world’s competitive eating-circuit. While Takeru’s performance on Monday fell short of his world dog record (53), he was never challenged and ended up finishing twelve triglyceride bombs clear of his nearest competitor. That is a staggering winning margin which ranks up there with Secretariat at the Belmont, the U.S. Navy over the Japanese at Leyte Gulf, and Nixon over McGovern. Kobayashi was basically 30 percent better then runner up Sonya “Black Widow” Jones, a Virginian who set an American Record on Monday by downing an impressive 37 nine-inchers. Now Jones says she is working hard to catch Kobayashi, but it seems like a stretch to think the Black Widow will be able to winnow that dozen hot dog gap anytime soon so long as Kobayashi stays healthy. And hell, even if he came down with some awful acid reflux, Kobayashi could probably stomach enough dogs to defend his title next year. But before you cry any tears for Jones, you should know that hot dogs are probably not her best event. Last December, she polished off 89 meatballs in 12 minutes and she is supposedly lights out when it comes to wings. She may not be Kobayashi’s peer on dogs, but I will put her up there in a food-eating decathlon.

Trivia Question – Which 1995 pseudo classic featured a character named Kobayashi?

What was with Venus Williams and that never ending outpouring of child-like giddiness she showed on Saturday after winning the Woman’s Singles Final at Wimbledon? Hey, I applaud those who unleash a healthy and good-spirited helping of genuine emotion, but Venus’ five act play went at least two acts too long. Here is a message to Ms. Williams – try acting like you have been there before. After all, this was her fifth grand slam title, but nobody could have discerned that after watching her childish theatrics go on and on and on. Her celebration was gratuitous and as far as I can recall, it was basically without precedent. After all, when was the last time you can recall an Olympian doubled over from laughter while receiving a gold medal? Now the argument on Williams’ behalf is she has come back from some injuries and she did win Wimbledon as a double-digit seed. Sure, that is a nice story and it probably is about as compelling as tennis gets, but we aren’t talking about Dan Jansen or Lance Armstrong here. After ten minutes of jubilant celebration, Venus probably should have been escorted to her front row seats in the Theatre of the Absurd. Her celebration on center court was not only annoying to the casual observer like myself, but it had to drive her opponent – Lindsay Davenport – to the brink of insanity. Here was Davenport, nursing a bad back that almost certainly cost her the match, having to look on and watch Venus do an impression of a thirteen year-old Jewess who just learned that Shawn Green would be attending her Bat Mitzvah. Had I been Davenport, I would have given strong thought to the idea of going WWE on Venus and slamming her over the head with that silver runner-up plate. Can you imagine that sight? Better yet, can you imagine what that would have done to Mary Carillo who most certainly checked her objectivity card at the curb when she showed up Saturday to support Venus? The strange thing about Venus is she has usually displayed a certain amount of grace when she has been on the losing end of big matches – perhaps because many of those came against her little sister. Regardless, she should play it both ways. I have to admit that Saturday’s final was a great match and it earned Williams some points. But in my book, she gave some of those points back with that post-match unforced error.

Although they are parked in first place at the half-mile pole, 2.5 lengths clear, the Boston Red Sox appear headed straight for the abyss. The fact of the matter is Boston cannot get 27 outs right now. I saw some stats this weekend on the Tampa bullpen that were staggering (seven losses after leading through eight) but the guys up in Boston might have the Rays beat. The mess in the Sox bullpen got worse last night when Keith Foulke came into a 5-4 game and proceeded to get only a single out before Texas plated the winning run. This followed a similar meltdown last Tuesday where Mr. Brightside got clobbered by Travis Hafner and the Tribe. Here is the telling number -12. That is not Foulke’s shoe size – it’s his earned run average in save situations this year. Last night, he looked like a terrifed buck who knows the oncoming eighteen-wheeler is going to smack his change up. His confidence is absolutely shot and there is certainly reason to think his career as a closer is coming to an end. This is Derrick Lowe in 2001 all over again. Hell, if the Sox knew Foulke was going to pitch this way, they probably would have kept BH Kim. The Sox problem doesn’t end with Foulke. Alan Embree has been a nightmare and Mike Timlin can’t get anyone out so long as an inherited runner is on base. In a nutshell, the Sox have a tremendous problem that needs to be solved or this team is destined to slog through a mediocre and frustrating second half. Bronson Arroyo’s imminent return to the pen will help but this team needs to find someone to get those final three outs. Oh, and while he’s at it, Theo should probably think about securing a first baseman who can reach the warning track.

Trivia Answer – the Usual Suspects – Kobayashi was Kaiser’s lawyer, the man who brought the deal to the suspects.

Make no mistake about it – the Toronto Blue Jays are a team on the come. These Birds have flown under the radar screen this year, but this club is quietly marshalling for a big push in 2006 and 2007. This is an aggressive club that has some good young pitching and Aaron Hill looks like the real deal. More importantly, this club is poised to be a big spender in the off-season as ownership has said it is willing to up its current $50 million payroll by an additional $20 million. If they can somehow dump Eric Hinskie, the Jays will have an additional $5 million gift certificate to spend on a corner outfielder. GM J.P. Richardi is a smart dude and even though the 2005 off-season market will be light, he will be able to do some good with this money. With Roy Halladay and Vernon Wells both signed through 2007, this club has a real chance make waves over the next couple of seasons.

Aside from a few guys on the Yankees, is there a more overpaid player in baseball than Darrin Erstad? This misplaced first baseman makes $8 million per year, yet his OPS numbers resemble that of middling middle infielders like Nick Punto or Tony Graffanino. If you throw away his anomalous 2000 season, Darrin has never slugged .500 or hit .300, yet he is paid like a guy who wields an almost lethal stick. The numbers tell a big part of the story - since the beginning of the 2003 season, Erstad has hit only 15 bombs in more then 1000 at bats. Granted, Erstad was never a slugger, but his long ball ratio is clearly inadequate, especially since he is hardly the place setter he once was. You have to wonder what prompted the Angles to give this guy all that money, particularly since he under-whelmed in his 2002 contract year (.283 with 10 home runs). You can bet that the Angels won’t make the same mistake when Erstad’s contract expires after next season.

How did Cesar Izturis make the National League All-Star team? This is guy who is hitting .275 with an OBP of less then .300. When you throw in that .350 slugging percentage, you get an OPS of something around.650. I understand that Cesar is a great defensive player and his numbers looked a lot better around Memorial Day, but the last time I checked, June counts. And why did Tony LaRussa feel compelled to take a third shortstop? He could have just as easily selected another second baseman and both Chase Utley and Marcus Giles were more deserving then Izturis. I suspect that if Jose Vidro had not gotten hurt and continued on his April pace, he would have been the choice over CI. Moreover, had Rockie shortstop Clint Barmes not hurt himself carrying groceries, I’m guessing he would also have been selected ahead of Izturis. It makes you wonder what LaRussa was thinking. And before you think Cesar may have lit up Tony’s Cards earlier this year – guess again since the Cards and Dodgers have not yet played each other.

How is this for mind- boggling – I actually listened to a radio interview on Sunday where WFAN’s Ed Randall attempted to analyze what was going to happen at the MLB all-star game late this month. He was breaking it down, telling listeners how the AL is going to run all over Mike Piazza and why both managers would be well served if they favored speed over sluggers at spacious Comerica. Was Ed kidding? Was this a skit, because if it wasn’t, it was tantamount to a 1970s show where a couple of jokers attempt to break down what will happen on the following week’s Battle of the Network Stars. The funny thing about this was Ed was downright serious. He prefaced the whole debate by saying the MLB all-star game is clearly the best and most important of any professional all-star game, including both indoor soccer and the Davis Cup. Ed, there are no prizes for being best amongst the worst. While its true the MLB all-star game used to have some cache, that has not been the case since around the time Bo Jackson hit that bomb at the Big A back in the late 80s, Bud and his boys attempted to soup up the game in recent years by awarding home field in the World Series to the winner, but that only moves the game slightly to the left of the NIT and the Alamo Bowl on the irrelevant spectrum. The fact of the matter is that the all-star game is a pre-historic beast that probably should be shelved. Lets just name the teams and do away with the game altogether. After all, we would still have the home run hitting contest and isn’t that enough? I can’t wait until next week when Ed breaks it down and tells me who I should take in that ridiculous charade.