K-Dice, Vernon and Senator Johnson

So the Red Sox have themselves a new pitcher – this one costing just $103 million over the next six years. My thoughts? Well, this effort to sign Daisuke Matsuzawka shows that the Sox front office is actually capable of devising a plan and sticking to it. Prior to yesterday, such capability was largely in doubt due to a track record littered with flip-flops, diversions, and abortions. In this instance, it seems as if the Sox had a thoughtful and well-devised plan, stuck to it, and saw it come to fruition largely as envisioned. Sure, they shocked the world with the Herculian posting fee and critics crowed that the organization was primed to jump off the plank into a sea of fiscal irresponsibility. But a funny thing happened on the way to another fiscal disaster. And that thing was the Sox actually won a hand against Scott Boras and ended up locking up a 26-year old pitcher for a price that is within market parameters. Hey, I have no idea if the “Orient Express” can pitch. I have no idea whether this guy is more Nomo than Pedro. I couldn’t tell you what the hell this “gyro” ball is all about. But what I can tell you is that the market for pitching has gotten flat out stupid and if this kid turns out to be a stud, $17M/yr is pretty damn reasonable. Sure, this is a gamble and given the Sox recent history of mis-evaluating talent, I am a bit concerned this one will also be more fizzle than fuzz. But at some point, the Sox are going to get one of these talent assessments right and if this is the turn, it just may turn out that the Sox got a steal.

Can someone tell me when Vernon Wells morphed into Willie Mays? If in fact Tornoto has offered Vern a new seven-year contract for $126 million and he hasn’t signed it yet, then someone better check under Vernon’s hood. Despite what ESPN's Buster Olney might suggest, Vernon is hardly a superstar. In fact, with a career OPS off just under .830 (and just .732 on the road 04-06), Vernon is a lot closer to Torii Hunter than Carlos Beltran or Andruw Jones. Nice player - yes. Great player? Only if Webster's has significantly diluted the definition of "great" in its latest edition. Olney had the temerity this morning to suggest that given Vernon’s skills and age, he could perhaps command $200 Million dollars on the open market next year. God, if that’s the case (and it isn't), is Andruw Jones going to get Arod money next Winter? And what about Carlos Zambrano? $300 Million? Moral to this story – Olney is a total ass clown prone to hyperbole and Wells is an idiot if he doesn’t his this bid. After all, $126 million is an awful lot for a guy who might not make an all-star team if he didn't get 15-20 at bats off Josh Beckett each year.

So, lets say Senator Tim Johnson doesn’t survive this unfortunate incident with all his faculties. Say, he is placed in a medically induced coma. Well, as I understand it, such a condition will not require Johnson to relinquish his Senate seat. After all, there is precedent for members of the Senate keeping their seats even though they didn’t cast a vote for years. So if Johnson ends up in a vegetated state, the question I have is whether some of those ass clowns who feverishly fought efforts to end Teri Schiavo’s life will stand by the good senator and oppose any effort to end Johnson’s life, knowing full well that his beating heart is all that stands in between minority and majority status. Am I just being cynical to think that all those jerks that fought to keep Teri alive will be a little less vigorous this time around? This is shaping up as the Super Bowl of hypocrisy.